Chapter 9

Welcome home," the Customs Officer said as he stamped Ji Won's passport.

"Thank you," she replied, grinning as she retrieved it from him then stepped out of the line. It had been a wild week but she could honestly say that she'd returned a different woman. It was just sex and he was just a guy but still it was something she'd never have done in Seoul. She already knew that it was a secret she was going to carry to her grave and it felt nice to have done something no one would ever expect. And if she ever got back with Joon Young, it was something she'd never admit to. Maybe she'd consider it her own private revenge for what he'd done to her.

She felt a twinge of guilt as she joined the line of people lugging their luggage and heading out of the airport. She'd contemplated leaving a note for Shin before leaving her hotel room but had decided against it because it made her feel a little cheap. Given that the sex was their first together, after getting over the awkwardness of trying to find a natural rhythm together, it had been nice enough. It wasn't like it was sex that she wouldn't write home about, but it wouldn't be the longest, most glowing letter ever.

She walked through the door into the arrivals section and thirty seconds later, she heard someone call her name. She followed the direction of the sound then grinned widely when she saw her family and friends waving at her. From the way they were screaming and jumping, she was sure at least one passerby would mistake her for a celebrity. She lifted her bag and ran towards them. Then she dropped her bag and reached across the barricade between her and her mother. "Umma! I've missed you so much!" she said, hugging her tightly.

Her mother hugged her back and sighed in relief. Even though she didn't show it, it had been the worst week of her life. She'd tried to convince herself not to worry because she trusted her oldest daughter to take care of herself but maternal instincts prevailed and she barely had a good night's sleep. "You are looking so well, my dear daughter," she said, tightening her hold on her.

Ji Won separated from her then smiled at her. Unless she was seeing things, it appeared that her mother had aged since she last saw her. Had she really caused her that much stress? She hugged her one more time then went along to hug everyone else.

"Do you plan to come over to this side at some point?" Kyung Ho asked, pointing at the barricade. "If we don't leave soon, I think they might tow my car."

"Stop trying to act so tough. I'm sure you've been crying because of how much you missed me."

Ji Won didn't get to hear his response because he was interrupted by the sound of someone else calling her name.



***

Ji Won, along with the rest of her family turned in the direction of the voice. It was a no-brainer that he'd know when her flight was arriving, after all, she hadn't changed the itinerary. But she still hadn't expected to see him so soon.

"Hey…," he said as his voice trailed off. He knew he'd done a cruel thing so he braced himself for some unpleasantness. So he sighed in relief when all she did was hiss, turn around and walk away. If it didn't get any worse than that, he knew he'd get her back in no time.

Joon Young dashed through the throng of people to catch up with her. Yes, he'd been silly and even though they'd been together for so long, he'd known that he wasn't ready to get married and that that had no bearing on how he felt about her. He was still in love with her.

After being together for three years, she'd begun to hint about their future together and when he couldn't come up with any real reason why they shouldn't get married, he'd proposed. He didn't want to make any excuses but the truth was he'd succumbed to the pressure. If she wasn't hinting about it, his parents were asking him directly, warning that they didn't want any of their grandchildren born out of wedlock or even less than nine months after their parents' wedding.

Throughout their engagement, he'd tried to be enthused about the wedding, attempting to psyche himself out of his fear but at the last minute, when push came to shove, he couldn't go through with it. He should never have proposed and he regretted that he hadn't been smart enough to do something before it got too late.

He'd spent the past week hating himself, wishing that he were a different man but what could he really do? It wasn't like he could undo the past. All he needed to do was remind her that they were still in love so that she wouldn't leave him. She'd had her fun in Aruba and now it was time for them to get back together.


"I should have called you," he said, catching up with her and grabbing onto her hand. "I'm so sorry. I should have called you."

Ji Won looked at his hand like it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. "Take that off me!" For some reason, seeing him apologizing the way he normally did made her blood boil. Surely, this required more than a freaking 'sorry,' didn't it?

"Ji Won ah, please, don't do this. I still love you. Please listen to me. I love you."

She knew that she couldn't care what he said but she did anyway. She folded her arms and turned to him. "Really?"

"Get the fu.ck out of here!" Kyung Ho, one of her bestfriends said from behind her.

Ji Won looked around and saw her family looking back at them. Her heart was beating in anticipation and her head was spinning with a thousand emotions so for a split second, she'd forgotten that they weren't alone.

"Ji W—"

"Are you fu.cking deaf?" Kyung Ho snarled. "Get the hell out of here. No one wants to see you."

Ji Won turned to him and shook her head. She was touched by his reaction to the scene unfolding but she really wanted to hear what Joon Young had to say. "Let him speak."

Encouraged, Joon Young took her hand. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake the warmth that came with experiencing the familiarity of his skin on hers. "What?" She wanted to be dramatic and shake his hand off but she just didn't have it in her. The truth was that she still loved him.

"I'm sorry."

She stared at him, waiting for him to say something more but he didn't. Instead, he just looked apologetically at her. Disgusted that he wasn't putting more of an effort into his apology, she slapped his hand of hers. How could he believe that was all it took to tame her anger? "Is that all you have to say?" she asked, not bothering to hide her venom.

He shook his head vehemently. "Of course not. Let's go somewhere else. What can I say with your entire family glaring at me?"

"You care about that? You surely didn't think of the hundreds of eyes that would stare at me after you left me at the altar! If you have anything else to say, say it now or just forget about it!"

He sighed and looked down. How could he convince her with her cheerleaders listening to every word? He fell to his knees and bowed his head. "Please forgive me. I love you and I miss you. This past week has been hell. Please forgive me."

Ji Won felt some of the ice she had in her heart melt slowly. "What do you want me to forgive you for?"

"For being so thoughtless. For being so cruel. I just felt so overwhelmed that all I could do was run. I still love you, Ji Won ah. I will always love you. You know you own my heart, right? There's no one else for me. You're it, Babe."

She smiled despite herself. "But you don't want to marry me?"

"Of course I do," he said, hoping that if they did get married in the future, he'd be ready by then. And even if he wasn't, he'd get married anyway. He couldn't repeat this mistake. He didn't want to lose her. "Let's plan another wedding. Maybe something a lot smaller. Just you and me and some of our family."

"I won't be there," her sister interjected. It annoyed her to see her older sister yield so easily to that ass.hole. What the hell? Couldn't she tell that he was a manipulative jerk using sweet words to con his way out of facing the consequences of his actions?

"Neither would I," Kyung Ho said. Then pretty much the rest of cheerleading squad relayed similar sentiments. Ji Won looked over at her mother and all the older lady did was smile grimly back at her.

She turned back to Joon Young. "Let me just go home now. We can talk again later."



***



Ji Won walked into her apartment, slammed the door behind her, dropped her luggage by the door then threw her keys into the key drawer. It sure felt nice to be back. It was obvious that had mother had been to her place because all the stuff she'd left in the hotel room was placed neatly by the dinning table. She was about to bend down to pick up one of the bags when she noticed her engagement ring on the dinning table. She picked it up and played with it with the tips of fingers. The ring mark hadn't yet faded but seeing the ring made her remember the fateful day he'd placed it on her finger. Then she put it on and admired her hand. She sighed. Why did it have to make her hand look so pretty?

The light on her answering machine was blinking out of control so she decided it was as good a time as any to listen to her numerous messages. She hit the button and as the messages played, walked over to her refrigerator to find something to drink. After a few nervous calls from friends expressing their sympathy and extending their wishes, she heard Joon Young's voice come on.

"Hey, Baby. Where are you? I went to the hotel to find you but they said you'd checked out. Where are you?"

The next one from him came two messages later.

"Honey, I called your mom and she said that you're not there. Are you at home? I'm at the door but you're not opening. Where are you? Sh.it," she heard him swear. "Why the fu.ck did I lose my key? Open the door."

The next one went, "I'm so sorry. Please. I'm so sorry. You can hit me all you want. You can scream at me all you want and I won't say anything. You have the right to do whatever you want with me. But you need to open the door to be able to do this. So open the door."

Even though she'd poured herself a glass of soda, she'd yet to take a sip. She felt her heart melting despite herself. She sighed. He really did sound sorry.

After a few more messages from him, with her heart shaking uncontrollably, wondering if she really could give him a second chance, another message from him came on.

"What the fu.ck is your problem? I'm apologizing here. Can't you hear me? Open the fu.cking door!"

The next one went like, "Okay, you don't want to talk to me. Fine. I don't need you. I can't believe how selfish you're being. How long do you want me to spend out here waiting for you? It started raining and you didn't even come out to get me. When did you become so heartless? Okay, forget about it. It's a good thing we didn't get married. I don't even know who you are! Just return my ring! You don't deserve it. It's a family heirloom and there's no reason for you to keep it. So just send it in the mail!" he said before hanging up.

Ji Won hissed and shook her head. And to think that she'd even thought of forgiving him. Was he insane? Why did he feel entitled to her forgiveness? She pulled the ring off her hand and put it back where her mother had left it. Yeah, it was her fault. If she'd never made it clear to him that she loved him so much that she was willing to forgive him anything, he would have thought twice before leaving such a nasty message. And to top it off, he'd lied! Because as far as she knew, he bought that Tiffany ring during a business trip. She still loved him, after all, love didn't have an off switch one could use whenever they needed it but she was certain that she'd never be with him again.

So a few messages later, when Joon Young called to apologize, stating that her mother had informed him that she'd gone on their honeymoon, she didn't give a sh.it. As far as she cared, they were ancient history.



***



Seven months later…





"I'm so happy you still have time to hang out with an old man like myself," Joon Young's father said to Ji Won as they walked into a store.

"Abonim, I will always have time for an old man like you," she replied, grinning at him.

"Oh, you're calling me an old man?" He frowned, pretending to be annoyed.

She laughed then linked her arm with his. "Yes, but I like old men like you."

Most girls usually buttered up to their prospective mothers-in-law but it was different for her. For some reason, she always got along really well with guys and apparently, that extended to fathers as well. Shortly after Joon Young had introduced her to his parents, she and his father realized that they worked a few blocks apart and somehow fell into having lunch or hanging out together.

He enjoyed talking to her because she'd never been intimated by him and always spoke freely, and something about how she treated him made him feel young again. For her part, Ji Won had initially befriending him to kiss his a.ss but it didn't take long for her to like him independent of his relationship to her boyfriend. She enjoyed that he loved to gossip and always treated her like an equal. His so-called fatherly advice was kept to a minimum and for that she was truly grateful.

"So what do you think of that?" he asked, pointing at a diamond tennis bracelet. They were meeting to pick out a gift for his wife.

She sighed. "Thirty years of marriage. Wow, I can't even imagine that," she said as she bent over the counter to take a closer look. "Agashi," she said to the salesgirl, "can you bring that one out so that we can look at it closely?"

Joon Young's father watched as she waited for the lady to unlock the case. He was still yet to get over the fiasco with her botched marriage. His son had always been very calculating and thorough when it came to making big decisions so he'd been very shocked when he just hadn't shown up for the wedding.

Even though he understood that Ji Won couldn't forgive him, he held onto the hope that one day, she'd come around. Even though he really liked her as a friend, he really wanted her as a daughter-in-law. From all the girls he'd met in his life, he'd never met anyone else that suited his son so well. They were a perfect match and it always amazed him at how easily young people destroyed valuable things.

"Here you are, Ajusshi," the shop lady said, handing it to him.

They held onto the bracelet and watched it gleam in the light. "It's pretty shiny, don't you think?" he asked. "Does it look like something Joon Young's mother will like? Oh, speaking of which, have you given that foolish boy his ring back, yet? I still can't believe that he tried to pretend that it was a family heirloom. Whose family? Stupid boy."

"No, Abonim," she said, shaking her head. "He calls occasionally and no matter what we talk about, he ends up trying to get it back. Sometimes, I just want to give it back to him so he can leave me alone but other times, I feel that he doesn't deserve it."

"I understand," he said, nodding. And from what he could see, the ring was the only thing left that linked them together. "Keep holding onto it and never give it back." And maybe one day, there'd be no need to.





***



My great-grandmother and her friends were the only people I saw in my first few years on earth so it wasn't till years later that I realized that she must have been quite old. She had increasingly graying hair that she loved to hide in a bun. Her face was heavily lined and her nose round and often red. She walked slowly, constantly complaining that she was old and that I was sending her to an early grave but I always knew she was joking because whenever her friends came around, she'd straighten her back and walk twice as fast as I did. She was small, nimble and I still haven't met any woman so beautiful.

Our daily routine was quite simple. When she woke up, I'd join her for our daily prayers and shortly after, while she was boiling her medicine, I'd go around back for my bath. After my bath, I'd join her in making breakfast and after eating, we'd go to her plot and try to get some work done.

So this morning began like every other, but instead of getting dressed to go out to work on her land, she threw a pencil and writing pad in front of me. "Take them."

"Halmoni, what is this?" I asked. I'd never been one of those children who'd spent their time doodling all over their exercise books especially as my great-grandmother had made it clear that all her paper was reserved for the precious letters she wrote every week. At least a hundred sheets of paper for me? I couldn't believe it.

"Pil Suh," she said, roughening my hair before sitting next to me. "I cannot pretend to be an educated woman, but take them. From today on, I will teach you everything I know."

And that was how my reading lessons began.



Ji Won looked up from the manuscript in her hand. This was going to be an interesting project. A well known author of goth-detective novels was writing a memoir and she'd gotten the chance to work as the first editor. In some ways, it was a step down for her because she normally edited alone. In addtion, first editors generally did most of the work while receiving little credit. But because he was supposedly famous, she realized that this wasn't an opportunity to let slip through her fingers. If she did a good job, it would undoubtedly open doors for her to work in a different side of book publishing. Besides, it was a nice change from her usual self-help projects.

Another exciting aspect of this was that the novelist was a well known recluse who refused to make public appearances despite his success, so it was quite exciting to work on what sometimes felt like an undercover job. She'd picked up one of his bestselling novels to get a better sense of his writing and personality and although it was well written, she hadn't been able to read it through. She just wasn't a goth type of girl. But on the other hand, although she'd only received one chapter of his memoir, she could already tell that it was going to be a fascinating story.

She glanced at her watch and saw that it was about time Yoon Pil Suh joined her and when she saw one of the hostesses leading two men of varying heights and builds towards her, she sat up in her seat. The shorter man looked older and quite round and even though she couldn't see the taller man's face, she could already tell that he was younger. They were both dressed in suits with no ties but the taller man's black suit was cut in a way that accentuated his toned build. He had the trendy, short haircut that young actors were sporting these days and there was something undeniably sexy about him. It was quite unethical for an editor to get involved with her writer but judging from the looks of her last few writers, she was pretty much sure that he was the agent she'd barely see while the shorter man was the one she'd spend hundreds of hours with. Which suited her fine. After all, she wasn't quite ready to date any men yet.

As they got closer to her table, she stood up to greet them. She took one quick glance at her folder to read their names: Yoon Pil Suh and his agent, Jo Jin Mo. She giggled to herself. His name really was Pil Suh, wasn't it? she thought. Poor guy. Then she kept the smile on her face and looked up at them.

"Ma'am, your party has arrived," the hostess said before turning back around.

"Thank you." She beamed at the two men and stretched her hand out. "Hello, I'm Na Ji Won and I'll be the first editor on this project." She shook the shorter man's hand then stretched her hand out to the taller man. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. Even though I've only read one chapter, I already anticipate enjoying working with you. I must admit that I think this will be a fruitful project for all of us."

The guy took her hand but instead of shaking it, just held it.

Confused by his action, Ji Won looked up into his eyes.

"Hello Alex. Nice to meet you again," he said icily. "It's been a while."

Her eyes widened as recognition hit. "Shin?"