23

Chapter 23


“Funny seeing you here,” Ji Won heard a voice say from behind her.

She frowned before she’d even turned her head around to look at him. “Oh, so you’re alive?” She drank his image in. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes. She rolled her eyes. Was he going to a funeral?

From the tone of her voice, and the memory of her last text messages, he was sure that on some level, she’d been worried about him. He smiled to himself. Yes, it had worked! While he’d forced himself to stop texting her, it was the third day in a row he’d shown up at the library at 9am to catch her. And he’d breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her walking in a few minutes earlier with her huge bag. He raised his right eyebrow and asked if someone had informed her of his death.

She shrugged and found herself unable to catch his eye. It just irked the hell out of her that his silence had bothered her for three whole days. Pourquoi? “What was I to think when I made a tiny little joke and you started crying?”

He laughed as he pulled out a chair and sat. “I cried? Did you see my tears?”

“Would I need to see them to hear the sobs? Who knew you were so sensitive?”

“Why won’t I be sensitive?” He said, making a big show by touching his chest. “I have feelings too, you know? Do you even understand that magnitude of your words?”

Ji Won frowned. What was he doing? “Say what?"

He sighed dramatically then looked away. “That joke about an assault charge…. Do you know how many bad memories it brought up?”

“No. And I don’t want to know.”

“Well, I think you should,” he said as his clamped his hands together and looked up pensively. “One sad day - oh and I remember that day because it was the day I found out a friend of mine was dying of stomach cancer – turned out to be appendicitis so it’s all good. I think you met him at the party. He’s all healed now.”

“Huh?” Ji Won didn’t even bother to hide her smirk.

“Anyway, so that day, I was just walking down the street, you know, enjoying the breeze, listening to my Walkman – you know back in the days we had Walkmen or is it Walkmans?”

“Walkmans.”

“Oh, of course you’d know Miss Editor.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is there a point to this story?”

“So anyway, I was just minding my business walking and listening to music when I came across this couple fighting. I planned on pretending not to see them but he started hitting her and you know I just can’t see a woman in pain.”

“Since when?”

He ignored the comment. “So I intervened. I punched him and someone called the cops. Long story short, the stupid couple accused me of assaulting them. We went to court but luckily, the truth prevailed because my palm print didn’t fit the one on her face.”

“Wow… CSI," she said sarcastically.

He shrugged. “So now you know.”

“Yes, now I know even more then ever that for a novelist, you have a horrible imagination. Even a four year old can tell that story is fake.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I told you I am sensitive. You have to know it’ll be too painful to reveal the true story.”

She scoffed. “Whatever.” She looked at him pointedly. “What are you even doing here?”

“It’s a library - I came to borrow a book.”

“Oh really? In all the times I’ve been here, I’ve never seen you but suddenly you feel the need to borrow books at 9:30 am in the morning?”

“As you saying I came to see you?”

She shrugged. “If that’s what you heard…”

“The library is open at this time. Why can’t I be here?”

“Whatever.”

Shin studied her. She was wearing a very simple blouse and skirt but yet looked so beautiful. Their entire exchange reminded him of how they first were when they met him Seoul… when he first fell for her.

He averted his eyes and pretended to brush something off his shirt. He didn’t want them to betray his emotions. “Anyway, are you hungry?”

Ji Won watched him closely. There was something about his demeanor what was so… dare she say… attractive? Then she remembered she hated him and replied, “Why do you want to know?”

“I brought some breakfast,” he said matter-of-factly.

As he reached into his bag to bring it out, Ji Won said, “I already ate.”

“That sucks,” he said, not bothering to hide his disappointment. “Next time, don’t eat so we can have breakfast together.”

She scoffed and looked away. “I don’t think so.”

“What about lunch?”

She sighed. “What about it?”

“Let’s eat together.”

Why was he so relentless? “Don’t you have some other friends? Aren’t you busy with your editor?”

He sat up straight. “Yes or no?”

“No. I am having lunch with my mother and no, you can’t join us,” she said with a small smile.

He chuckled. At least she told him her plans. That must mean something.

Noticing that she’s begun to get fidgety, Shin knew it was time to leave. “Anyway,” he said, looking at his watch, “I know you’re about to make a big deal about needing to prepare for your client so I’ll leave now." He stood up.

Ji Won raised her eyebrow. He was leaving so quickly? “Such a short visit? What exactly did you come for?”

“I already told you – to borrow a book.”

She narrowed her eyes and studied his face. “What exactly is your deal?”

He shrugged. “No deal. I just like reading books,” he said looking away before turning around.

As he walked out of the library, Shin turned his phone back on and saw that his grandfather had left him a message. Why exactly did the old man need him to visit?

***

When Ji Won walked into the restaurant and saw her mother looking rather spiffy in a purple dress and talking to a suit-clad gentleman sitting beside her, she knew she had been set up.

“Umma, I will make you pay for this,” she muttered through gritted teeth. Why did parents always need to have their way?

When her mother spotted her, she gave her a sheepish look then waved her to the table.

Ji Won quickly glanced at her reflection in one of the windows then walked as confidently as she could to the table. Even though she wanted to yell at her mother, she knew she had to be respectful in front of this stranger.

Both the man and her mother stood up as she approached them and once she was at the table, her mother turned to the man and said, “Min Sik ssi, please meet my daughter.”

Ji Won sized him up. About 5’11. Clean face. Thick brows. Expensive haircut. Designer frames. Designer shoes. Designer suit. Probably hiding a six-pack.

“Hello, Ji Won ssi, it’s nice to meet you. You’re even lovelier than your mother described.”

Deep voice. Pretty teeth. Pretty lips. Knows how to compliment.

She shook his hand and sat next to her mother. Okay, so her mother didn’t do too badly this time around. She caught her mother’s eye and could tell that she was also very proud of her accomplishment. Ji Won groaned. Looking at the fine man grinning at her, she wished she’d met him in some other way. Parents setting you up was almost always a recipe for disaster and if by some fluke, they actually set you up with a nice man, they’d gloat about it forever. For the rest of her life, she’d have to hear things like:

“If I hadn’t intervened, would you have met him?”
“Can you see why you should always listen to me?”
“Mother knows best.”



It was almost never worth it. Even though Ji Won had practically closed her heart to the prospect of finding a good man again, as she looked across the table at the fine specimen of man sitting there, his broad shoulders moving as he laughed at her mother’s corny jokes, she wondered if perhaps she’d been too haste in her decision. Maybe she could find a great man after all. The single life was great but two is better than one, right?

***

Twenty minutes later, her mother was gone and as she chewed her food, she tried her best to act interested in his discussion about subprime loans.

“The truth is the opportunities are endless. Let me tell you why.”

“Please do,” Ji Won said dryly before turning her face away and rolling her eyes. Of course there had to be something wrong with him. In what world did a man think that a woman who isn’t in finance would want to learn about subprime loans on a first date? She glanced at her watch and found herself missing Mr. Lee. At least, when he argued with her, it wasn’t about securities.

Looking again at this waste of a beautiful body, Ji Won was in the process of coming up with an excuse to cut their lunch date short when her phone buzzed.

Excusing herself, she looked at it and smirked. It was a text from Shin. Did this guy even have a life?

How’s lunch with Mom?

She apologized to Min Sik again before typing out a response.

Don’t text me – I’m on a date. Okay, so why did she enjoy typing that out so much?

She put her phone down and smiled wearily at Min Sik. “I'm sorry about that. You were saying?”

The moment he opened his mouth to start talking, her phone buzzed again.

Really? I thought you said you were having lunch with your mother.

She looked up at Min Sik apologetically then typed.

That's what I said.

So you lied.

Ji Won knew she was being rude so she excused herself and went to the restroom. She planned to reply, make it short and sweet and return to learning more and more about RMBS or whatever the hell today's lesson was about.

As soon as she found a comfortable, clean stall, she typed:

No, I didn’t lie. I'm really on a date so I'm going to have to let you go. My mom set me up with a handsome man. Tall, handsome and rich. Every woman’s fantasy.

I’m also tall and handsome and I am not broke.

Who told you that you’re handsome?

Ouch. Did you forget that I'm sensitive?

LOL

Do you like that guy?

Well, unlike someone I know, he told me his real name.

So did I, Alex.


Ji Won frowned. Why did he have to remind her to that? All she could type was, Whatever.

So do you like him?

I don’t know – we just met.


Oh, so you don’t like him.

Who said that?

I just know it. That means I still have a chance.

A chance to do what?

Take you to dinner.

LOL. You only think about food.

What else is there to think about? So what about dinner?

What about it?

Have it with me.

Why?

It's a free meal. Why are you being so difficult?

Difficult how? Why would I need a free meal? I can afford to feed myself. You're going to have to come up with another reason.

You get a free meal from me.

I said, “another reason.”

You get to hang out with me.

In that case, the answer is no.

Why?

I’ve already seen your face once today. That’s already one time too many.

Ouch again. Have you forgotten that I’m sensitive?

Stop it! That joke was old two jokes ago.


She laughed. Then abruptly stopped as she realized she was enjoying herself.

“Hold up,” she said to herself. “I don’t like this fool, right? Why do I suddenly feel like I did when I was writing to Yoon Pil Suh?” She knocked her head to put some sense in it. “Na Ji Won! You can’t fall for him again! WAKE UP! He’s not the adorable man you thought he was – he’s a master manipulator. Don't fall for his words! No more text messages from him!” And with that, she turned her phone off. Na Ji Won, why are you like this? A few words here and there and you start to become stupid? She sat in the stall for a few minutes as she tried to figure it out.

It wasn’t till someone knocked at the toilet stall door that she remembered where she was. Oh sh.it, she was on a date with a fine man. A fine man who was miles better than Shin/Yoon Pil Suh or whatever he wanted to call himself. Someone who didn't tell offensive jokes or make weird stories up. A normal, kind man who had a sensible job.

She got out of the stall, checked out her reflection and walked back into the restaurant. However, when she got to her table, Min Sik was gone.

24

Chapter 24.

Ji Won and Shin exchanged text messages daily for over a week. Ji Won didn’t even know how she fell into the pattern of meeting him before her 10 o’clock appointment on the days she was the library and then texting him from time to time throughout the rest of the day. And on the days she wasn’t at the library, he would still text her in the morning.

They’d start off talking about how their day was going till they began having full blown conversations on a full range of topics. Even though Ji Won told herself that she was just killing time, she didn’t mind listening to him speak about the finishing touches on his book or his theories about life on other planets.

By that time, it was clear that their meetings at the library were not coincidental but somehow, Ji Won was okay it. In fact, it had reached the point that she’d mentioned her impending appointments just to keep him informed.

Ji Won went through the messages on her outbox and found it.

So, I’ll be meeting Mr. Lee tomorrow. We’ve only got a few more chapters left to work on and I just can’t wait for it to be over.

She looked at her watch and read the most important part of the message again.

So, I’ll be meeting Mr. Lee tomorrow.

Okay, so she’d plainly stated in bold letters that she’d be at the library so why wasn’t he there? Their routine had been for her to walk to her table at her usual time and find him sitting a few feet away with breakfast in his hands. She’d make a big show of not wanting him to be there but they’d step out and sit on a bench eating bagels and drinking coffee. So how come it was 9:47am and he still hadn’t shown up?

What was that about? Was it some kind of game he was playing? Did he suddenly find something better to do?

She looked at her phone.

“Should I text him?” she asked herself then sighed in resignation. If she texted him, what would she say? Hey, I was just wondering why your dumb ass hasn’t shown up for our unofficial dates?

Dates? Oh Lord. Did she just call them dates? What was wrong with her?

***

Shin looked at his watch – it was 8:55. Even though he was running a little late, he still had enough time to get their breakfast before getting to the library.

What could he say? He’d enjoyed the last few days quite a bit. Ji Won was back to her old self – a spunkier version of who’d she’d been in Aruba and even though he didn’t want to hope, he couldn’t help himself. He still tried to ask her out formally but she always refused but from what he could see, she didn’t mind hanging out with him – which was great Even though she was still somewhat antagonistic towards him, he could see that she’d softened up quite a bit and he was enjoying it.

He was reaching for his glass to take one last swig of water when his phone rang. He looked at the caller id and just as he expected, it was his grandfather.

“Haraboji, I’m on my way out,” he said the moment he took the call.

“You’re not coming home anytime soon, are you?”

“I already told you that I can’t make it. You really should just say whatever it is you want to tell me.”

Shin had already begun to get impatient. His grandfather was practically stalking him on the phone and each time, instead of just telling him whatever was so important, he would ask him to make the long drive home.

He heard his grandfather sigh at the other end of the line.

“Son, are you sitting down?”

“Sure,” he lied. He picked up his glass and walked over to the sink to empty out its contents.

After a long pause, he simply said, “It’s your mother.”

The last word stopped him in his tracks. Shin suddenly felt all his energy dissipate from his body that he had to lean against the wall to keep from falling.

“My mother?” he whispered.

***

“You know Shin, don’t you?”

Ji Won turned around to see a petite woman smiling at her.

She had just ended her meeting with Mr. Lee and was in line to get a cup of coffee before heading back to the office. Normally, that was the beginning of a relaxing few hours but the thing was, she still hadn’t heard from Shin and was somewhat worried.

“Do I know you?” she asked the strikingly pretty woman.

“You don’t remember me? You were with Shin…?”

Ji Won shook her head. She still couldn’t recall meaning this woman.

“We met at the museum. At the Schmidt opening,” she offered. “They’d just released the Berlin painting,” she began, going into great detail about the piece. “Wasn’t it amazing?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know much about art but I’m sure it was great.” Ji Won smiled at the lady but there was something about her that she instantly disliked.

“Oh, interesting. I guess Shin’s taste has changed.”

Ji Won ignored the implication of that statement and decided to end the conversation. She turned back around, hoping the woman would take the hint but she just absolutely refused and inquired after Shin..

She shrugged/. “He’s fine, I guess.”

“Oh, you broke up?”

Ji Won turned around again. “We were never in a relationship. I was his editor.”

The woman mouthed an “O” and nodded. “I see. Interesting. Okay, so do you know if he’s seeing anyone now?”

Ji Won shrugged again. How the hell was she supposed to know and what was this woman’s deal. “ I have no idea.”

The woman smiled to herself. “Very interesting. Perhaps I should give him a call and catch up on old times,” she muttered right before Ji Won turned around to place her order.

As Ji Won watched her coffee being made, she couldn’t help but wish that Shin had changed his number.


***

Ji Won opened the door and saw Shin at other side, holding a bottle of wine.

“Thirsty?” he asked, holding up the bottle.

“Not particularly,” she replied even though she stepped aside to let him in. She discreetly looked him over and everything seemed to be in working order. He didn’t have any fresh wounds or look like he’d been abducted by aliens. So where had he been?

He walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. “Did you miss me this morning?”

“No. It was great to finally have the morning to myself.”

He set the bottle on the table. “I didn’t know what to get but I know you like red wine. It took me about two hours to choose it. It’s quite exquisite. It’s from Bordeaux and even if you don’t want to drink it now, you can save it for a special occasion.”

“I see.”

“I’m just saying that it’s a great bottle of wine and if you want to impress someone, someone like me, for example, you can whip it out.” He made an exaggerated show of looking at the bottle. “Look at how impressed I am.”

She frowned at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

He looked at her and smiled. “Excuse me?” The truth was his mind was still very much preoccupied by the call he’d had that morning and he’d planned on just staying home all day till he had the sudden urge to be with her. That was when he picked out the first bottle of wine he found in his cellar and drove over to her place. He needed someone to talk to and for some reason, felt it must be her.

Ji Won sat across from him and folded her arms. “You should always be the way you are when you write to me. In those simple texts or the notes you attached to your manuscript – that person is much more personable than the one you sometimes present in person.”

“How so?”

“Stripped down. Honest. No false airs. Confident. No fake ass stories.”

“I’m an author, I tell stories.” He frowned. This wasn’t what he came over for.

“Then save them for your books.”

He sat up and looked her straight in the eye. “What if I have one more story to tell?”

She smirked and rolled her eyes. “Did you hear what I just said? I said save them for your books.”

“So you don’t want to hear it?”

There was something in his tone that made her snap to attention. Something that she hadn’t heard in the past few days. Was something wrong? “What do you want to tell me?” she asked softly.

He put on a clearly fake smile and looked directly into her eyes. “So once upon a time, there was this man who got a call from his grandfather. Apparently, the woman who’d given birth to him and abandoned him without a word for twenty years would like to meet him. He doesn’t know why but other than needing a bone marrow transplant or perhaps a kidney, he can’t for the life of him figure out why she would want to meet someone she obviously loathed. So he obviously told her to fu.ck herself. So what do you think of this story? Should I save it for my book?” He’d tried to keep his voice steady but had failed miserably.

“Your mother would like to meet you?” she whispered. She felt a knot form in her tummy. His mother was back?

“’Mother’ seems like a strong word to you, don’t you think? Egg donor? Human vessel sounds more appropriate.”

She looked at him struggling to act indifferent and all she could see was that lonely little boy who’d spend his childhood with his grandmother. “Are you going to meet her?”

He smirked. “Would you?”

She took a deep breath in. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like to feel like you do.”

He nodded. “Exactly.” He wanted to yell at someone. How dare she contact him now, after all those years?

“But….”

“But…?”

“But why not just find out what she wants?” Ji Won felt so bad looking at him – he was clearly upset.

“I don’t care about what she wants. She’s never cared about me. Why should I care now after twenty years?”

“But is it really about caring? When I read your chapters about her, I could tell that there was so much unfinished business about her… that you had so many unanswered questions. Instead of making assumptions, why not meet her? Maybe you can finally get those answers.”

He scowled. “Like she won’t lie. She’s not going to tell me she abandoned me because I was the biggest mistake of her life.”

Ji Won felt the sting from his last statement. “Yes, she’s going to lie. So maybe you can think of it as an opportunity to get everything you want off your chest.”

He barely moved as he sat quietly for a few moments.

Not knowing what to do, Ji Won picked up the bottle of wine and headed for the kitchen.

“So do you want something else to do on July 14th?” he yelled a few minutes later from the living room.

She walked back in and began to arrange the magazines on the rack. “July 14th…? Something else?” She thought about it for a moment. “Oh, you saw the invitation?” The wedding invitation she’d left near her phone.

“It said Joon Young. That’s your ex’s name, isn’t it?” A name he couldn’t forget.

“Yes, it said Joon Young.” And seeing that name on a wedding invitation hadn’t bothered her at all. She deduced that she really must be over it all.

“And he invited you to his wedding? What a jerk.” He wasn’t a violent person but if he ran into that man, he would be sure to break his nose.

She laughed. “Men are jerks.”

“So are women as exemplified by the woman who carried me for nine months.”

Ji Won stopped what she was doing and studied his face. ”I didn’t know you were this mad at her.”

He looked away, suddenly feeling shy. “Me neither. It was somehow easier to forget that she existed or think that she forgot that I existed. This mess means that she’s been very well aware of my existence the whole time.”

After a few moments of silence, Ji Won said, “I wonder how many times a person can use the word “exist” in a sentence.” She wanted to lighten the mood a bit.

“Is this the best time to make a joke?”

“I’m sorry.”

He laughed. “I was only teasing. So what say you? Will you join me on July 14th to meet that person?”

She thought about it. “Why should I come?”

“You’re the one who talked me into it. So for moral support.”

“Moral support? I guess I can’t say no, huh?”

“I guess you can’t.” Satisfied, he decided to change the topic. “So what’s for dinner?”

Looking at him as he struggled to maintain a nonchalant attitude, she just couldn’t shake off the image of that little boy being left at a stranger’s house. And that made her want to take care of him. She decided not to say anything sarcastic. “Take out? Let me go and get the menus. Which would you prefer? Turkish or Italian?”

25

Chapter 25
 

Shin was applying the aftershave to his face when he heard his phone beep. He walked over to his desk and picked it up.

Don’t bother coming today.


He frowned. Was Ji Won playing games again? Slowly, they’d somehow developed some kind of relationship. There were no labels or even any discussions about it but through her actions, she’d made it clear that she didn’t mind hanging around him. Which was all good and all but what exactly were they?

Who said I was coming? he texted back. That sounded flirtatious, right? Now that she’d given him a second chance, he didn’t want to mess things up by being pushy. But on the other hand, they’d spent a lot of time in the last month together and hadn’t even shared anything as much as a proper hug, talk less of a kiss. And the longer there was no form of physical intimacy between them, the closer he felt he was being pushed into the friend zone. And that was one thing he didn’t want.

Forget it then.


He sat on his bed and continued to text. What?

After five minutes of no response, he sent her another text. What should I forget?

Forget my first message. If you weren’t going to come anyway then forget it.


He shook his head. This woman always wanted to win and get the last word in, didn't she? He chuckled when he admitted to himself that he liked giving her the upper hand. Okay, I was going to come. What shouldn’t I forget?

This is going nowhere. Let’s end it here. I have to get ready for work. I’ll talk to you whenever.

Want to meet for lunch?

Sure.


***

“Mr. Lee canceled again?”

Ji Won nodded. The closer they got to the end, the more often Mr. Lee seemed to have family emergencies. She didn’t know what his issue was but there was still enough time to meet their deadline so she wasn’t worried yet. “Well, I guess I should be grateful that he at least gave me a warning this time so that I wouldn’t have to waste my time going to the library.”

“So you went straight to the office?”

She nodded. “Yep. Looks like they’ve just signed a new author and they want me to be his editor. They sent me his manuscript. I’ve read the first few chapters and it looks pretty interesting.”

The waitress interrupted them to get their drink orders. When she was gone, Shin said, “What genre?”

“Fantasy teen romance. They are hoping to get a series out of it.”

He frowned. He didn't like the sound of that. “I thought that market was already saturated.”

“It is. It’s about this girl who was raised by vampires and thinks she’s one but the truth is she’s been adopted and is merely human. So the first book is all about how she lives life as a vampire and has all this angst about not being able to be with the cute guy at school because he’s a mere mortal and all that stuff. It’s kind of funny,” she said, chuckling. “It can either be my big break or a complete dud.”

The chances of a new author's success in this genre were very low but he hoped the best for her. He smiled then raised his left eyebrow. “Your big break? I thought working with me was your big break.”

She made a face to say, “As if.”

“Speaking of which." He placed an envelope in front of her. “Here’s the final draft of my book. It’s been copy edited and is at the printers right now. The cover you chose didn’t make it though.”

“As expected. You just wasted my time.”

“And there’s nothing about you in it so don’t get too excited.”

She giggled. “Whatever. I’m hungry. Hand me the menu. What's today's special?”

***

Ji Won watched as he cut into his steak. Okay, so she shouldn’t spend her time thinking about this and she didn’t know the best way to broach the topic that had been on her mind for a few days. “Have you received any unexpected calls recently?”

“Like from whom?” he asked with his mouth full.

She shrugged and tried to look as casual as possible. “I don’t know, a blast from the past, perhaps?” The girl that she was almost sure was an important ex-girlfriend?

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Someone you weren’t expecting to hear from? Or maybe someone you haven’t spoken to recently?”

Ji Won was giving him a piercing look like he should know who she was talking about without her having to mention her. He racked his brain and could only think of one person. “You mean my mother? I’m okay.” He laughed. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells to ask me about that woman. You’re funny. I haven’t spoken to her yet. Why would I? I use my grandfather as a liaison. Speaking of Harbuji," he began before going into a long story about his grandfather's will revision.

Ji Won tried to listen but all she could think of was that without getting an answer to the question, she was going to spend even more days worrying about something she didn't want to worry about.

***

“Have a nice day,” the hostess said as they walked towards the exit. Shin skipped ahead and opened the door for Ji Won.

“Thank you,” she said as she walked through.

Walking closely behind her, he tried to figure out the best time to take her hand. When she swung it behind her? Or should he just move next to her and grab it? He decided on the latter and just as he’d caught up to her and was about to reach for her hand, she folded her arms.

“So you’ve set a date for the meeting with your mother?”

He nodded while looking at her hand in disappointment. Why did she have to do that?

“When are you meeting?”

“We agreed on July 14th, didn’t we? I set it for 9:00pm,” he said in a monotone. He looked at her hand tucked away and wondered how ridiculous it would be to just grab it anyway.

“Isn’t that too late?” Ji Won noticed that he'd begun to act strangely again. And lately, he always acted strange when the subject of his mother was brought up. She wondered if she should just stop mentioning her.

He shrugged. “Is it? 9 o’clock is as good a time as any.” He was trying his best not to be obvious about studying her hands and calculating the best time to make his move. So he tried his best to face forward as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

“I guess so,” she said solemnly. She’d noticed how his eyes kept darting to and away from her and it was probably the first time she'd seen him being so weird. Her brows furrowed in pain– just how damaged had his mother's abandonment left him?

***

They both walked silently till they arrived at her car.

“Since I have most of July 14th free, do you want to attend your ex’s wedding?”

Ji Won spun her head around in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Let’s go to his wedding. What’s his name again? J—”

“Joon Young.”

“Let's go."

“Why? It’ll be weird.” Which jilted ex wanted to see their ex-fiance exchanging "I do's" with someone else?

“I’ll be with you so it won’t be weird.” He studied her face to gauge her reaction. Since he still didn't know what her feelings were, seeing her at the wedding might let him know if she was truly over her ex. And even if she wasn't, he wanted that jerk to see that she had moved on. He was still annoyed that after dumping her, he'd sent her an invitation to witness his wedding to another woman. Who did that?

“Whatever. I’ll just stay in.”

“Come on. I have time to kill so why don’t we go and make him jealous?”

She laughed. “He’s the one getting married. Why would he be jealous?”

Shin remained silent for a few moments before saying, “Do you still love him?”

She gave him an incredulous look. “Of course not.”

“So let’s go. It’ll be fun.”

“Aren’t you being a bit weird? Why are you insisting we go to his wedding? What are you thinking?”

“Nothing and stop thinking too much. If he sent you an invitation, it must be because he wants you there. And at least we can have somewhere to hang out before going to meet my mother. I just think it’ll be fun.”


***

“Hey Ji Won, long time,” a tall woman said as she ran to her and gave her a hug. “How have you been doing?”

Ji Won smiled when she saw the familiar face. Yoo Hee was one of the casualties of her break up with Joon Young. She hugged her back. “Where’s Jung Do?” They broke their embraced.

Yoo Hee made a face and hissed. “I guess we really haven’t been in touch for a while. We broke up. The divorce will soon be final.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You did it the right way. Get out before you say "I do" because it only ends in heartache."

"Which is the perfect thing to say at a wedding," Shin chimed in.

Yoo Hee turned to him and gave him a very appreciative look over. “Ji Won, who would this person be?" After Ji Won made the introductions, she said, “I see your taste has improved.”

Ji Won laughed. “Come on now, don’t be mean." She looked over at Joon Young who was sitting next to his new wife. Even though he’d gained a few pounds, he still looked pretty good.

“So, Beautiful Man," Yoo Hee said, crooking her finger at Shin, gesturing for him to move closer. “What do you do?”

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh, a writer. A work romance? How sexy." She licked her lips and smiled.

Ji Won laughed at the craziness she was witnessing from her old friend. “Are you a little drunk or something?”

“Am I drunk? Who knows? But this man,” she said, moving so close to Shin she could smell his breath, “is very hot.”

Shin instinctively moved back. “Are you okay?” He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Ji Won but she just kept laughing.

“But tell me Shin ssi, where can I find a man like you? Do you have a twin? Is your father single? Do you have a brother? Or a cousin? Some hot friends? A sexy writer’s club I can attend?”

***

Ji Won couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged so many people in one day. Since she’d been out of this social circle for a while, it felt like a reunion.

“Ji Won,” she heard someone yell from behind. “I can’t believe you came!”

She turned around to see her friend, Eun Jae, walking towards her with her hands outstretched.

Ji Won hugged her and said, “I was invited – why shouldn’t I come?”

After they separated, her friend gave her a knowing look. “You know why. So is he an even bigger di.ck than I thought? He sent you an invite?”

She shrugged. “I guess he did. No big deal. I’m glad I came cos I got to see so many people I haven’t seen in a while. Many of whom I’m glad to not have seen to be honest,” she said before they both laughed. “But it’s all good. I didn’t expect to see you here, though. You didn’t say anything about it when I saw you at the grocery store last week.”

“Yeah, like I was going to mention that your ex-fiancĂ© was getting married. What do you take me for?” She hugged Ji Won again. “I’m so glad to see how well you’re taking it. You're really over it, aren't you? I'm so proud of you!"

Ji Won smiled and shrugged. "I feel nothing. I guess that means I don't care either way."

“Which is good since you’ve got some hot ass guy on your arm.” She winked at Ji Won then tilted her head towards Shin who was standing at the bar talking to Yoo Hee who was clearly flirting with him. “Spill! Who is he?”

“Just a friend.” Ji Won frowned at the scene she was watching in front of her. Yes, he was just a friend but Yoo Hee didn’t know that. She’d thought she was being funny when she flirted with him earlier but wasn’t she taking it a bit too far? So because she was getting divorced she wanted to steal someone else's man? She immediately remembered another reason she’d lost touch with her.

“Just a friend? Is that why you’re shooting daggers at Yoo Hee?” Eun Jae said laughing. “You might want to go and get your man if you don’t want her to steal him away.”

“Give me break. She can have him if she wants." She turned away and looked back at her friend. “Anyway, we didn’t finish our conversation the last time we spoke. You said you were going to give me all the gossip on your mother-in-law’s new boyfriend,” she said, trying to sound cheerful even though her mind was on what might be going on behind her. Who insisted someone be their date at a wedding then ditched them for a drunk flirt? Men really were stupid!

***

“You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?”

“Be my guest," Eun Jae said before winking at Ji Won.

Shin nodded his thanks before taking Ji Won's hand and leading her to the dance floor. As he stood at the bar listening to Ji Won’s friend drone about this new landscaper she’d discovered, all he could think was that he’d finally get his chance to hold her. When he found a spot he liked on the dance floor, he spun her around with a flair.

Ji Won frowned. “You don’t have to put on a show for everyone.”

“Who’s putting on a show?”

She looked away with disinterest written all over her face. “I’m cool. If you want to dance with someone else, be my guest.”

He furrowed his brows questioningly. “What are you talking about? I didn’t come to this wedding to be with someone else, did I?”

She shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe you wanted to meet some women.”

“Huh? Which women?” he chuckled to hide his confusion and pulled her closer to him. He smiled at the fact that there was no resistance. “You’re the only one I want to be with right now.” Just as their bodies touched and he was about to wrap his arms around her, the music changed to a fast song. He groaned. The stars really weren’t aligned, were they? He was about to grumble when he recognized the song. “Hold up!” he said as his lips turned into a wide smile. “Do you recognize this song?”

Ji Won shook her head. “Of course not," she lied. "I'm not an old fart like you." They’d begun to play old school jams and the song they were playing had been really popular in the previous decade.

“If you don’t remember this song, you at least remember this dance step,” he said before doing The Running Man.

Ji Won laughed as she felt her spirits lift. “Stop it! This is embarrassing!” She kept laughing but he really didn’t look bad at all. In fact, he looked unexpectedly hot. Who knew an ajusshi could look hot doing The Running Man?

“Do you want me to teach you?” He grabbed her hand and pulled her next to him.

She snatched her hand away. “Who told you I have to learn?” She was now laughing even more because he was making one of those faces that people put on when they were being very serious about their dancing. “Stop it!”

“If you don’t want to do The Running Man, how about The Shuffle?”

“Oh gosh, The Running Man. I haven’t done it in ages,” Ji Won heard someone say from behind her. When she turned around, she noticed that others had begun to join them in doing their old school steps. She looked back at Shin who was now dancing so seriously one would think he was auditioning for Dancing With The Stars. Seeing how everyone else seemed to be having fun, she decided to join in.


***

“Aren’t you happy you came?” Shin asked as they approached the car. He was feeling good because he was now sure that Ji Won was over her ex. When they walked over to congratulate the new couple, he hadn't noticed the slightest hint of jealousy or pain from her. Plus he’d finally managed to take her hand as they walked out of the wedding hall and hadn’t let go. He’d expected her to pull away or at least have some kind of reaction but to his surprise, he’d gotten none. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

“I had a good time,” she said tilting her head up to look at him. "But why did you suddenly turn into a dance instructor? It was so unlike you.”

“You seemed to be getting into some kind of mood so I thought it would be best to liven things up. Got a problem with that?”

She shook her head. He'd done that for her? She could feel herself blushing. She recognized the sudden warmth in her chest. She'd felt it with Joon Young, with her first love and even with fake drug addicted Pil Suh. It was something that she’d vowed never to feel again but here she was, once again, helpless to that feeling. And if felt okay. She looked at Shin and smiled. The sun was long gone so she hoped he couldn’t see the color in her cheeks.

When he smiled back at her, she knew the red color in her cheeks were deepening. Yup, she was in big trouble. Looking for something to say or do, she glanced her at watch. “It’s already 8:40. We should hurry up so we don’t keep your mom waiting.”

Shin winced then walked over to her side of the car and opened the door. He waited for her to get in then shut it. A few moments later, when he was in the driver’s seat, he said, “She’s not my mom.”

Ji Won was still smiling as she recalled the day’s events. “What?”

“The only mom I have is my grandmother.”

The expression on his face drained all the giddiness out of Ji Won. Having nothing else to say, she mouthed an O. They were back in the danger zone. Why did she have to open her big mouth?

He noticed the change in her expression and knew that he had to explain his feelings. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but he needed to make things clear. “Her name was Shin Ae. Did I ever tell you that?”

Ji Won looked straight ahead and shook her head.

“When she passed, I wanted to always have a part of her so I became Shin. Plus it didn’t help that my real name sucks,” he ended with a chuckle.

Still not looking at him, she said, “Okay.”

“So don’t call that woman my mom,” he pleaded. “I know it sounds silly because she is the woman who gave birth to me but using the word ‘mom’ for her just doesn’t seem right. When I call her "mom" I know what I mean but when others do, it's different.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one with the problem.” He tried to smile but his cheeks refused to comply. “Ready to go?” he asked, turning the engine on.

She nodded as she felt her nerves kicking in. This drama with his mother had revealed a side of him she’d never been privy to. And she no longer knew what to expect from him.

Chapter 26

Chapter 26


“Pil Suh yah… you came? I was scared you weren’t coming,” the older lady said as she stood up to greet them.

Ji Won raised her brow after looking at her watch – it was only 9:12. Twelve minutes were enough to scare her off? Curious, Ji Won looked at her face then back at Shin’s, searching for a resemblance. But truthfully, she couldn’t find one. So this was the woman that had brought Shin into the world. She looked very put together in her designer suit – like a rich man’s kept wife. Her hair was in a side swept bun, her make-up natural and neat and her ears had little diamonds dangling from them.

Ji Won stretched her hand out and the woman took it and held it limply as she gave her a bright smile. At that moment she saw the resemblance. Then the lady turned to Shin who was pulling out Ji Won’s chair.

“I thought you weren't coming,” she said as she sat down. “I was feeling sorry for the restaurant for occupying this table for two hours so I ordered something. I hope you don’t mind.”

Two hours? Ji Won shook her head then looked at Shin from the corner of her eye. How mean of him.

Shin scoffed. “You hope I don’t mind? Since when have you cared about my feelings?” he said just loud enough for both women to hear.

Seeing the older lady’s eyes turn down in response compelled Ji Won to kick Shin under the table.

He sent her a deadly look then picked up the menu.

The three of them sat in uncomfortable silence for about a minute before Shin’s mom said, “You must be the young lady Ajusshi told me about.”

“Me?” she asked, pointing to herself. She waved in disagreement. “No, I don’t think so. Maybe someone else.”

“You’re not the editor who visited his grandfather?”

“Oh, yeah… that’s me.”

The woman smiled widely. “Then it’s you. You’re just as lovely as he described. I’m glad Suh has found someone like you.”

Ji Won cringed in embarrassment. What was this woman talking about? She looked to see what expression Shin had on his face and it was the same one he’d had since they’d walked into the restaurant – one of disdain.

“I can’t believe I’m sitting here with my son. He hasn’t changed much except that he’s grown even more handsome.”

“Harbouji talks to you?” Shin gruffly asked.

She nodded. “Sometimes.”

“Wow. So you see it fit to talk to him but you refuse to talk to your own son? Do you remember the last time you spoke to the biggest mistake in your life?”

The woman’s shoulders slump. “My biggest mistake? How can you think that?”

“What else do you want me to think? You’ve never wanted me around. You didn’t want me when I was born. You didn’t want me when Grandma died, you pretend not to know me when you see me in the street and now you’re only here because you want something. What other explanation is there for that?”

Shin’s mother put her hands on the table and leaned forward. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t take care of you when you were a child – I was just too young. I’m sorry. But now I want to make amends, that’s why I am here.”

Shin laughed in disbelief. “That’s a joke if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Suh yah, I know I’ve wronged you deeply. But I recently realized that I made a lot of mistakes with you and if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll like to correct them. I’m so sorry for what I did but I think we still have time to make amends. I would like us to have some kind of relationship if you’re willing. Please. Life is too short and I would like to have you in my life again.”

“So you honestly want me to believe that you hounded Harabouji to let us meet just because you wanted to start a relationship with me? It’s not really because you want my organs? Not because you’re broke? Not because you need a favor? But because you suddenly found your motherly instincts?”

Shin’s voice had begun to get loud and the other patrons at the restaurant had begun to stare at their table. The waitress walked over to the table to take their orders. As she did, Ji Won reached under the table to find Shin’s hand and held it. He glanced over at her and even though she gave him a comforting smile, he didn’t react.

After the waitress left, and in a small voice, Shin’s mother said, “Suh yah, I deserve everything you said. I was the worst kind of mother a child could ever have. I didn’t give you any love or respect but please understand that even though I never showed it, I always loved you. I know it’s hard to believe but you’re my first child and always had a special place in my heart. I’m sorry I made you suffer so much. I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking.

Shin looked away to hide the tears that had begun to threaten their departure. How odd was it to finally hear the words he’d always pretended not to want but had secretly hoped to hear all his life? And who would have thought that he’d hear them one Saturday evening at a family restaurant? But somehow, it didn’t feel real.

When he regained his composure, he said, “This is a lot to take in. Why the sudden change of heart? Did someone close to you just die? Is that what spurred this? When Grandma died, it had no effect on you. I didn’t make you want to love me. Instead you pushed me on a man who could have turned me into his slave while raping me every night. Did you even think about that? No. All you cared about what throwing me away. And now you want me to believe this bulls.hit?”

Ji Won gripped his hand tighter.

He lowered his tone and through gritted teeth said, “Everyone but you cared about me. That poor man loved me more than you ever did and I am not even his blood. Grandma, Grandpa, teachers, strangers on the street, everyone treated me better than you ever did. And now you want me to believe that over thirty years later you want a relationship with me? Do you think I am an idiot? Just tell me what the real reason is so I can leave this God forsaken place!”

The woman bent her head and Ji Won watched as tears fell on the tablecloth. “Excuse me. I need to go the bathroom,” she said before getting up and walking away as fast as she could.

“Shin ssi.”

“Don’t dare tell me I am being too hard on her. You're the one who told me to say how I felt.”

“Okay.”

“That woman is here for some other reason. You read my book, right? You know exactly who she is. She said it herself – my looks haven’t changed. My own mother pretended not to know me and now she wants me to believe some crap about wanting to make amends? She wants to build a relationship? With me? Is she crazy? She must want money. If she does, let her say it now and not waste my time any longer.”

The waitress brought over their food and after eating in uncomfortable silence for over ten minutes, Ji Won decided to go to the bathroom and check on his mother. She walked in and saw her leaning against the wall looking at her phone messages.

“Ajumma,” Ji Won called to catch her attention.

She looked up then quickly snapped her phone shut. Then she grabbed some tissues and dabbed her already dry eyes. “I’m sorry, have I been here long?”

Ji Won shook her head. “I just wanted to check up on you.”

She gave her a side smile. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

“What did you expect? You abandoned him. Did you think he’d just welcome you with open arms?”

“It was so long ago – I was just a kid then. I wish he could understand that.”

But what about twenty years ago? Or ten years ago? Or even last year? Were you still a kid? Ji Won wanted to ask. But she knew it wasn’t her place.

“Are you ready to go back?”

***

When they returned to the table, Shin was in surprisingly better behavior and asked how she was doing. Happy about that, his mother spoke of her family then handed them a photo.

“These are my children.”

Shin winced at the stabbing pain that shot through his heart. He would never have a picture like that - one of him hugging his mother.

“They are beautiful boys.”

“Thank you. I think the oldest one, Hyun Woo kinda of resembles Suh, don’t you think so?”

“Really?” She looked at the picture, at Shin then back at the photo. “Oh, I see it. They have the same nose and mouth,” she lied.

“You think so? I’m glad. His favorite subject is math but he loves to write just like his older brother,” she began as she filled them in about her son's life.

Even though his mother was speaking very clearly, Shin couldn’t hear anything. His mind was just fixated on the photo in his hand. Looking at those three smiling faces was like facing the childhood he’d been denied.

“… but Hyun Woo had to be taken out of school this year,” his mother said in a choked up voice.

“Why?” Ji Won asked.

“He’s got leukemia.”

On hearing that word, Shin snapped back into reality. He shook his head in disgust. “And now the truth comes out.” Then he let out a very scary laugh –if anything, it sounded more like a war cry. “Your precious son has leukemia and now you want to know if I’m a match.”

His mom bit her lip and looked away.

“Answer me, Mother. Is that why you’re here?”

“No, I’m just telling you about—”

“Is this why you had that epiphany? Why you decided to reach out to the one person you tried to forget your whole life? Because your son is sick?”

“No.”

“What do you want? You want me to replace your dying son or save him? Which is it?”

The woman shook her head then suddenly burst into tears. “That’s not it.”

But Shin was unmoved by her antics. “You want to get to know me better when your beloved son is sick. This is just a coincidence?”

The crying woman nodded.

“Really? If we embark on our new beautiful relationship, do you promise to never ask me to get tested to see if I’m a match?”

The woman looked up at Shin and cried even harder.

“Answer me. Can you promise to never involve me in this problem with your son?”

Instead of responding, she just kept crying.

“If I say I won’t get tested, will you still want to have a relationship with me? Answer me! Answer me!"

“You should meet him once,” she said between sobs. “He’s such a sweet child. He’s only 18 but he’s so mature. My child can’t die. He’s too young. Please. Please. I can’t just let him die. He’s too young.”

“Just as I thought. Ji Won, can you see? I knew she wanted something.” He got up. “You can go back to wherever you came from knowing that you can’t fool me. Look, I don’t care if your son dies or not. So I’m not going to any stinking hospital to take any stinking test, do you understand me? If this was what you wanted, you shouldn’t have bothered contacting me because I don’t give a fu.ck about you or your family. This is beyond ridiculous! Even if I’m his match, I will never donate any fu.cking anything to help him get better. Do you understand me? Think of it as karma for what you did to me.” Then he reached for his glass and knocked its contents over. “And I’m not paying for this meal, either,” he said before storming out.

***

Ji Won watched him leave with her mouth ajar, although objectively, she knew that she shouldn’t be quite so surprised. She'd felt her heart break as she'd witnessed the scene, imagining the kind of pain he must have been going through. But the words he said, that look in his eyes – like he was no longer behind them – shocked her. Who was that man?

“I’m sorry,” she said to the crying woman. What she’d done was despicable but it was clear that she loved her sick son and love could make one do terrible things. But on the other hand, how painful must it be for Shin to know that she only wanted to use him to benefit her son?

She reached into her purse and pulled out a few bills. “This should cover dinner. Good night,” she said.

But as she stood up to leave, the lady grabbed her by her arm. “Please beg him for me. Please. You’re a woman too. Even if you don’t have children you must understand how this must feel for me. Please. Convince him to help our Hyun Woo. He’s too young,” she yelled as tears gushed out of her eyes. “We’ll compensate him for any inconvenience. We just need to save our son.”

Ji Won pried her fingers off her. “Compensate him for any inconvenience? Ajumma, are you really this heartless? Do you think that's the problem? Do you think you can compensate him for all the pain you’ve brought him? I’m sorry your son is sick but leave Shin out of this!”

A few minutes later, just as she stepped out of the restaurant, she saw Shin’s car pull out of its parking spot and move towards the exit.

“SHIN! SHIN! Yoon Pil Suh!” she screamed as she chased after it. The car didn’t go very far before it stopped so Ji Won was able to catch up with it in a short amount of time.

“Were you going to leave me?” she said through short breaths the second she got into the car.

“I thought you wanted to stay back and chat.”

“Stay back and chat? What does that even mean?”

“You seemed to like her. You enjoyed chatting in the bathroom, didn’t you? You enjoyed talking about her kids. Are you friends now?”

Ji Won rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. She knew he was going through a tough time and was clearly not in his right sense so she let him vent without interruption.

However, since Ji Won was staying silent, Shin saw no reason to stop. “How cute were you today? Looking at photos and saying, “Oh, they look so much alike,” he said, mimicking her voice. “Why were you being such an as.s kisser? I look nothing like that person! Did you want her to like you or something? Or maybe you wanted to make her one of your drinking buddies. You saw how well she could drink, didn’t you? Already have some drinking games planned?”

Okay, now he was just being ridiculous. “Don’t take this out on me.”

“Why would I take it out on you? It’s only your fault.”

“How is it my fault?”

“I told you I didn’t want to meet her but you insisted that I should. I told you that I knew that heartless bi.tch wanted something from me. But you wouldn’t listen, talking about how I’d get the chance to talk to her. Now you see what has happened?”

Ji Won kept her mouth shut as she looked out of the window.

“Answer me. Was I right? Don’t you think I would have been better off now showing up and wasting my damn time on that opportunistic bi.tch?”

“You were right, okay! You were right. But don’t take your anger out on me. If you want to do that, just pull over so I can get out of this car.”

***

“Thanks for the ride,” Ji Won said shortly after Shin pulled up to her apartment complex. The ride home had been less than pleasant to say the least. Once Shin got tired of talking, they’d sat in the car in silence. Nobody had even bothered to turn on the radio. The entire evening had become very uncomfortable and unpleasant that she’d never been so glad to see the welcome sign for her building before.

“I’m sorry,” Shin offered as he opened his car door.

“You don’t have to get out. Just go home and rest.”

“No. No. I’ll walk you to the entrance.”

Ji Won quietly led the short walk to the building entrance, wondering why he was even bothering to do this song and dance since he was supposedly so mad at her. She tapped her keycard on the sensor and when she heard the door unlock, pulled it open. She turned around to say goodbye in a curt voice but the look on his face made her feel otherwise. Boy did he look miserable. Hoping it was the right thing to do, she said, “Would you like to come up?

***

What did one offer a man who’d received confirmation that his mother didn’t love him?

“What would you like to drink? I have juice, soda and some w-water. I was about to say wine but I didn’t want you to think that I was seducing you.”

Shin frowned. “You haven’t forgotten that, huh?” he asked warily. He knew he should go home but he didn’t want to spend time in his empty apartment just recounting the day’s events. He knew his mother hated him but up till a few minutes earlier, he’d never realized just how much. Even though he’d insisted that she’d only contacted him because she wanted something, he’d hoped deep inside that she’d prove him wrong. But apparently, he was the type to never get what he really wanted.

“It was supposed to be a joke. I have wine if you want.”

***

The hour and half Shin stayed over was the most uncomfortable Ji Won had ever spent in her apartment even though all they did was drink wine, eat some snacks and watch television.

“It’s 11:33,” Ji Won announced.

Shin smiled at her then looked at his wrist. “Yes, it is. Although my watch says 11:37. I wonder which one is correct,” he said with a very fake smile.

“Let’s split the difference and say it’s 11:35,” she replied with an equally as fake smile.

“11:35 sounds good.”

They both let out phony laughs as they walked towards the door. When they reached it, Shin turned around.

“Good night.”

“Good night,” Ji Won replied. She was going to give him about a day to himself before she called to check up on him. This was one of those times she wished she’d studied psychology so that she’d know the right thing to say to him.

“I’ll see you later, then.

“Okay, take care.”

They both avoided the other’s eyes as they stood in silence.

“Bye, then,” Ji Won said.

“Bye.” Shin started to turn around but then slowly turned right back and pecked her on the lips.

Ji Won gave him a questioning look. Okay, that was unexpected.

Since that wasn’t an outright rejection, Shin decided to try his luck again. He didn’t know what he was doing or why he was even doing it but when he kissed her again he made sure it was soft and long. It felt good – the best he’d felt in the last few hours. He looked at her eyes to see that they were shut. Then he cupped her face and really kissed her.

Even though she was shocked and confused by the turn of events, Ji Won instinctively responded to his kiss. As his kiss got more intense, she parted her lips, letting his tongue explore her mouth. Although it wasn’t the first time they’d kissed, this one felt especially good. She didn’t know if it was because she’d been so tense and this was a welcome feeling or because it had been a long time since she’s kissed a man. She put her arms around his waist and pressed her body closer to his and was enjoying the sensation till she felt her body being grabbed and pushed against the wall.

Her eyes opened in alarm as his kisses got more intense till they were borderline animalistic. Suddenly the sensation stopped feeling good and all she could hear were alarm bells ringing in her head.

“What—” was all she could manage against his lips. She tried to push him off her gently but he wouldn’t budge. She gathered more force and pushed him again, this time succeeding.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He looked at her but Ji Won couldn’t see him – there was someone else behind those eyes. But as quickly as they parted, he was back on her, this time kissing her neck fiercely.

Using all her might this time, she managed to pry him off her. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled. She reached to the side of her and turned the doorknob. “You need to leave now,” she said with her chest heaving out of control.

Shin leaned over to kiss her again but she turned her face away. “Please leave.” What in the world did he think he was doing? She knew he was frustrated but she wasn’t about to let him use her this way.

With his lips close to her ear, he whispered, “Please let me stay.”

She sighed and looked into his eyes. He was back and clearly in pain. “I’m sorry,” she said in a softened tone.

“I need you. I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he said in a cracking voice.

Ji Won pressed her lips together and looked at him. He looked rather pitiful, didn’t he? His eyes were downturned and he’d somehow transformed from that animalistic person to a miserable creature.

As Ji Won searched for the right things to say, Shin just stood there with his eyes to the ground. The day had started off great and he just wanted to forget everything that had just happened. He leaned forward to kiss her again but she turned her face yet again.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated softly. “But I can’t let you stay tonight. It won’t be right.”

Right? What the hell was right? Hearing that word hit him hard. He looked at her face, narrowed his eyes and stepped back. “It won’t be right?”

Glad for the increased space between them, Ji Won heaved a sigh of relief. “Not like this. Not this way. It’s not right.”

He nodded. “I see. When you went over to Aruba and found an unsuspecting stranger and john teshed him to get over your ex, was that right? Played with his emotions, seduced him and left him without a word, was that right?”

“So you want me to pay you back for that?”

“No. But I find it hilarious that you’re here acting like some authority on what’s right or wrong when you’ve done exactly the same thing. I wonder what is right in this world. A girlfriend who leaves you for a richer man, a woman who only remembers her son when she needs him for his DNA or a jilted woman who takes advantage of an unsuspecting stranger. Which of them are right?” He paused for a few moments then in a much quieter tone, said, “Or the fact that the people I care about always abandon me when I need them most. I wonder how right that is.” With that, he turned around and walked out of her apartment.

Before Ji Won could even begin to digest what had just occurred, her phone rang. She ran back into the living room to get it but she couldn’t recognize the number on the caller id. She answered it cautiously. “Hello?”

“Ji Won ah. I knew you’d be awake.”

“Who is this?”

The person at the other end chuckled. “You don’t recognize my voice anymore? It’s Joon Young.”

Chapter 27




Joon Young? Ji Won crooked her head and look at the phone again. What the hell did he want? Especially on his wedding night of all times? “Which Joon Young is this?”

He laughed. “What do you mean which Joon Young is this? Which other Joon Young do you know?”

She snickered. “Well, the Joon Young I know got married a few hours ago so it makes no sense that he’d be calling me instead of enjoying the night with his new wife.”

He laughed some more. “I would be if my wife wasn’t lying on the bed, drunk and snoring really loudly.”

“Wow. The prospect of spending the night with you drove her to the bottle, huh?”

He chuckled then said, “Did you get quicker with the zingers or have I forgotten?”

Ji Won picked up the television remote control then laid on her couch. “What do you want?” she asked as she flicked through channels. She put the phone on speak and placed in on her chest.

After a silent moment, he cleared his throat. “I just wanted to apologize to you.”

“For…?”

“For sending the invitation to you. If I had any control over it, you wouldn’t have gotten one.”

“Oh, you wanted to hide your wedding from me?”

He groaned. “That’s not what I meant. But it was wrong of me to send it to you… seeing how things ended. My wife sent it to you without my knowledge. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Ji Won said right before she turned off the television. There was nothing to watch and even if there wasn't she wasn't in the mood to watch it. It was time for bed. She picked up her phone and put it off speaker. “If that’s all you have to say…” she said after she'd placed it against her ear and had begun to walk around, switching off the lights in the living room.

“It was nice seeing you. How have you been doing?”

She walked over to the kitchen and turn off that light too. “Are you pretending to care?”

‘You can’t still be mad.”

she stopped moving and leaned against a wall. “What’s there to be mad at? That I now know that you didn’t really have a problem with marriage – that you just had a problem with marrying me? Or what else? That you have the guts to call me on your wedding night telling me some bulls.hit?"

“What would you like me to say? Tell me and I’ll say it. You looked happy at the wedding so I thought that perhaps it was okay for me to contact you. Did I make a mistake?”

“To be honest, I’m not mad at you." She got off the wall and walked into her bedroom. "I’m already over us and know that we weren’t meant to be. I guess I just feel like lashing at someone – it’s not about you. I’m sorry.” She got on her bed and jumped on it.

“Want to talk about it?

“Not really," she said, noting the time on her clock. She just wanted to take a quick shower and fall asleep. "So you only called to apologize?”

“Yeah. I'd prayed that the invitation got lost in the mail so that I could pretend that you never received it but then you just had to show up and shatter that dream,” he said with a chuckle.

“You were hoping I wouldn’t come?”

“Maybe hope wasn’t the word. But I just didn’t think you’d show up. For me, the most probable scenario involved you tearing up the invitation card and cursing me a thousand times. But I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, maybe despite our relationship, we never knew each other as well as we thought. Maybe I don’t know anybody at all. Maybe what I thought was love really wasn’t. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Which is why you couldn’t marry me after like five years together but you married someone you’ve known for less than half the time.”

“I did love you. And I regretted it for a long time. I still regret it. I did initially get involved with her to spite you – I can admit that. But something happened along the way. And I was scared sh.itless yesterday -moreso than with you. But I can’t always let my fears keep me from doing the right thing, can I?”

“I guess you can’t.”

“But when I saw you today, I was glad to see you happy… to see that you’ve moved on too. It made me realize that I’d made a mistake that had changed both our lives forever but we both figured out a way to adjust to that change. It also made me understand that sometimes, we can't help but hurt the people we love because no one is perfect. And sometimes, we ask for forgiveness and are granted it. But if we aren’t, we must live the best we can with the consequences. One moment of weakness or stupidity can change our lives forever.”

***

Shin didn’t even know how he got home. For damn sure, he hadn’t been paying attention to the road or traffic lights. As he walked into his building, all he could think was that what hurt him most wasn’t even that his mother didn’t love him, but how hurt he felt by the rejection. He didn’t want that woman to have this much effect on him and he just wished he could figure out a way to kill his feelings.

He hit the elevator button then leaned against the wall. The entire day had been draining and all he wanted to do was go to bed. Or more importantly, sleep and hopefully, when he woke up the next day, he’d realize that it had all been a bad dream.

About a minute later, he was walking towards his apartment, with his eyes almost shut as he rubbed his temple, wondering if he was developing a headache when he heard someone say, “Oppa.” That stopped his feet from moving.

He opened his eyes to see a small female figure sitting in front of his apartment door with her legs akimbo.

“Oppa, is that really you? You’re finally here?” she asked as she stood up. She brushed off some dirt from the seat of her pants then smiled at him. “I’d begun to give up hope of seeing you.”

His mouth flung open and he didn’t bother to hide his shock. Was he seeing things? What in the world was Min Su doing at his place? At this time of the day, no less? He looked at his watch. “It’s already past midnight. Why are you here?” And another blast from the past was the last thing he needed.

Instead of replying, she just smiled sheepishly. He gave her a full once over. Her body was clad in dark blue skinny jeans, and a tube top covered with a tailored jacket. She had on what looked like five inch heels and with her hair loosely framing her face, Shin could see that she hadn’t lost even iota of her looks.

He looked beautiful and he didn’t like that he noticed it. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the door and pulled out his keys.

“Oppa,” she said, lightly touching his hand.

Her hand was surprisingly cool but also unwelcome. She’d stopped being a part of his consciousness for a long time and that moment wasn’t the time to change that. He shook her hand off him.

“What do you want?” he asked, turning his gaze to her.

“Jeez,” she said, making a face. “Why do you look like this? You must have had a horrible day. What happened?”

He turned his face away from her and shook his head. It surprised him that even with all the years that they’d been apart, she could still read him so easily.

“Just tell me why you’re here so that you can leave.”

“May I come in for a bit? I need to talk to you.”

“About what? We haven’t talked in ages. What could you possibly have to discuss with me?”

“Please,” she said, giving him those puppy dogs eyes that had never failed to win him over. But Shin wasn’t going to let them win this time around.

“I’m going the sleep the second I walk into my apartment so if you have something to say, just say it now.”

“Oppa, I can’t talk about this in the hallway. I’ve been waiting here for over three hours. Just let me come in for a bit.”

Fatigued and irritated by the argument that was leading nowhere, he opened the door and walked into his place. Min Su followed him and shut the door behind her.

“What happened to you? Where did you go? Did you have a fight with your girlfriend? I thought you didn’t have one.”

Shin, who was now in front of his fridge, grabbing a beer turned to her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Min Su sat on the loveseat as she looked around his apartment. “Remember that girl you were with at the Schmidt exhibit? I saw her the other day and she gave off the impression that you’d broken up.”

Shin nearly choked on his beer. “What?”

“Or am I wrong? You guys are still together?”

“She wasn’t my girlfriend – she was my editor.”

“That was really all it was?” she asked, disbelieving, because that was not the vibe she’d gotten on that day. “But if that’s all it was, I feel better now.”

Shin gulped down the rest of his beer then opened up another can and swallowed another gulp. There was a time, years ago, that he’d prayed every night to see her sitting in the middle of his sitting room, begging to talk to him. But those days were long gone and he was already sick of playing the Reminisce Game. “We are in my apartment now. Just say what you want to say and leave.”

“Oppa…” she began, getting off the couch and walking towards him. She tried her best to calm her nerves as she got closer. It had taken her some time to muster up the courage to do this but once she decided to, she knew she had to see it through – even if it was three hours later than she’d planned. She cleared her throat and said, “Your place looks nice and it looks like your taste has definitely improved.”

He looked at her pointedly. “Yes, it has.”

She ignored the obvious jab and grabbed a stool and sat with the kitchen table between them. She reached for his hand but he quickly took it away.

“What’s this?”

She took another deep breath then grabbed his hand again. “Oppa, I’m sorry.”

He took his hand back again. “For what?”

“For what I did back then.” She looked into his eyes. “Ever since I saw you at the Schmidt exhibit, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I was a fool. I’m sorry I was too stupid to realize that you really are the one for me.” She’d loved him but back then, couldn’t see the point in staying with a smart man who in her opinion was wasting his potential writing books that weren’t earning him enough for them to live on. “I’m sorry I broke your heart. And I know I don’t have the right to be here saying this to you but I just felt that I should at least take a chance. If not for me, then for us.”

Stunned, he started at her for a few silent moments then burst into laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” What a day.

“Oppa,” she said, grabbing his hand again then kissing his palm.

He was in too much shock to react.

“Remember that summer we spent backpacking across Europe, spending our days as tourists and our nights in bed? Wasn’t it in Berlin we discovered Schmidt? Remember how you said that his Happiness painting was the snapshot of our future? When I saw you at his exhibition that day, I knew you hadn’t forgotten me.” She kissed his palm again and still holding his hand, got off the stool and moved closer to him.

Shin’s eyes were trained on her, following her every movement. Yes, he had said that. And yes, he remembered that day. But his heart wasn’t thumping at the memories. Instead, his brain was just getting muddled by everything that had happened and was happening. He drank the last of his beer then reached for another can but was stopped by Min Su’s hand.

“Oppa, I know you only drink this much when you’re upset. I’m here now so you don’t have to do that anymore.” She unraveled his fingers off the can then traced the length of his arm with her palm. From his eyes, she could see his resolve weakening and that spurred her to continue.

As she caressed his neck then his face, all Shin could think was how soft and smooth her fingers felt and how the sensation was a welcome change from all the madness that was occurring in his thoughts.

She smiled when she noticed that he’d begun to breathe heavier. “See? You still react to me. It’s been years but it’s not over between us.” She leaned over, expecting him to push her off him or turn his face away but when he didn’t, she slowly shut her eyes and kissed him.

He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised because anyone could have seen that coming from two towns away but the force of her lips crashing against his still managed to cause his body to stiffen. He wanted to resist but a part of him told him this was exactly what he needed.

Not discouraged by this lack of reaction, Min Su, kissed him even harder, with her tongue teasing his lips, urging them to part. And when they eventually did, she stuck her tongue in his mouth and touched his and when they began to kiss, she sat on his lap, causing the stool to tilt backwards.

They both held onto the table to steady themselves and Min Su quickly got off his lap and laughed nervously. Shin looked up at her and laughed as well but just as quickly as they were parted, they rejoined, this time both standing as they kissed each other desperately.

Min Su had been a little worried that their chemistry would be gone so she was pleasantly surprised to find it still there and that only excited her more.

It had been years and she felt the same. As she tightened her grip around his neck, their shared memories started flooding back to Shin. From the first day that they met to the first time they kissed.

“Ouch,” Min Su cried when her butt hit the table. Shin looked up from her face – he hadn’t even realized that he’d pushed her against it.

The hand on her body instinctively changed from lustful to concerned as he moved his head back and peered into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes.” She reached behind and sat on the table. “This is better,” she said, wrapping her legs around his thighs before reaching for the top button of his shirt.

Shin looked down at her as she unbuttoned his shirt. She was just as beautiful as always was and there was something soothing about someone who looked like her wanting him. In fact, at the moment, it just felt so good to be wanted.

He shocked her when he scooped her up and carried her. She giggled and when she was sure that their grip on each other was secure, their kissing continued from where they had left off.

As he carried her towards his bedroom, countless memories ran through his mind.

He thought about the ring he’d bought her – the exact one she’d pointed to in a magazine. He’d spent days trying to find a store that carried it. As she whispered his name when he kissed her neck, he remembered the day he’d arrived home only to find her things gone and a note with a single line saying she was sorry. Yes, it felt good to be wanted for once.

She giggled when he kicked open his door then ran her fingers through his hair, and smiled at his face, making sure that her desire for him was clear.

She bounced a little when he threw her on the bed. And as she took off her jacket, he remembered his agent yelling at him to snap out of his depression because mourning a lost love wouldn’t help him make his deadline.

As he took off his belt and pulled down his pants, watching as she unbuttoned her jeans, he remembered the hundreds of drunken calls he’d left on her answering machine begging her return to him. He remembered that he’d promised to become the man she wanted as long as she returned to his side.

As she knelt up straight on the bed and reached for him, he remembered the news article he’d read, announcing her marriage to a successful financier. He remembered how happy she’d looked in the photo, smiling at her fiancĂ© like she’d once smiled at him.

Then as his body fell on the bed, he remembered how he cried when his mother left him alone in Mr. Yoo’s apartment. The light from the living room kept his bedroom from being pitch black but as he reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, he thought of how cold and dark that room had been and how he’d spent those lonely hours wondering if his half siblings had ever experienced such coldness and darkness.
.
She climbed on him then unhooked her bra. And as it fell, he saw that the years had been good to her. She bent over and created a trail of kisses from his chest to his pelvic region. Then she pulled out a condom and smiled at him.

As she tore open the wrapper, he remembered that evening in Aruba when Ji Won was in that exact position doing the exact same thing. Except, instead of the desire he saw in Min Su’s eye, all she had were tears. Then he saw how she’d looked at him a few hours ago, both with care and confusion and he’d forced his kisses on her. Then he remembered the sad expression she’d had when she’d watched him leave.


Shin looked up at Min Su who was now waving the unwrapped condom seductively at him. “This has got to stop,” he said right before he pushed her off him and swung his legs over till he was sitting at the edge of the bed. “I think you’d better leave.”

***

She didn’t know what she shared with Shin but she knew she shared something. She didn’t know if it was worth fighting for but it was clear that no matter how many times he said or did things to annoy her, no matter how many times she decided to forget him, he somehow found a way of getting back into her life.

Even though she really could have done without the call from Joon Young, there were some things he said that rang true. Even though she was over that relationship, she wondered if a part of her still mourned the life that she’d planned with him. Maybe it was time to stop thinking of herself as a jilted woman but simply as a woman. Time to stop seeking out similarities between situations, fighting to not make the same mistakes.

Maybe it was time to really accept that she had a different life and in some way, Shin had become a part of it. Even though she hadn’t labeled their relationship, he had become a constant in her life. She liked his kisses and enjoyed his company and she couldn’t quite work out exactly what that meant to her but she knew that she’d begun to care for him. And caring for him meant that she understood that he was in agony about his mother so she wasn’t going to take anything he’d said or done against her personally. Yes, he had been wrong – but no one was perfect.

She’d spent the entire night agonizing over the evening’s events. Wondering if there was something she could have done differently that would have led to a much better outcome. She wondered if there were words she could have uttered to comfort him so that he wouldn’t have acted the way he did. She wondered if there was a way she could have reacted to his pain to keep him from thinking that she was abandoning him.

He’d said that she was important to him and maybe despite all that had happened in the previous months, she’d never quite believed it till she saw the look of pain in his eyes when he said it.

So once she deemed that it was not too early to show up unannounced, she jumped into her car and drove over to his place.


***

“In which direction will you be jogging?”

“That way,” Shin said, pointing to his right. The previous night, after some more futile attempts, Min Su finally accepted that they wouldn’t be sleeping together. But since Shin was too drunk and tired to drive and felt that it was too late for Min Su to drive herself home, she’d slept on the bed while he’d slept on the couch.

“I understand that yesterday was a shock, but please think about what I said.”

He rolled his eyes. “Go back to your husband.”

“Shinie—”

“Min Su—”

“I’ll walk you to your car. Where did you park it?”

She stepped in front of him and led him to the red Mercedes Benz that unbeknownst to them, was parked a few cars away from Ji Won’s.

“I left my number on your fridge. Call me if you change your mind or if you just need someone to talk to.”

“I won’t be calling you. Have a nice life, Min Su.”

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “See you.”


***

Ji Won had been pleasantly surprised when as she parked her car, she saw Shin walk out of his building. But that excitement quickly turned to horror when she saw that woman walk out seconds later.

She barely blinked as she watched them walk over to that lady’s car and after she kissed him on the cheek, she watched Shin jog for a block before turning around and going back to his apartment.

She didn’t know how long she’d sat in her car, barely breathing or blinking but her mind had gone blank and she probably would have sat there for eternity, staring at his apartment building entrance if she hadn’t felt a tear drop on her hand.

Chapter 28

Shin walked into his apartment and plopped himself on the couch. The previous day had been exhausting so the minute he’d left Min Su in the bedroom, grabbed a blanket and lain on the couch, he’d fallen asleep. But that morning, when he woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon from the kitchen, instead of being glad to enjoy the rare occasion of someone taking care of him, all he could do was wish that she was someone else. 

It wasn’t news to him that he’d fallen for Ji Won but perhaps seeing his past showed him just how much he’d moved on to her. So that morning, as his firmly rejected Min Su’s advances, all he could think was that he’d wasted far too much time playing games and now it was finally time to make his feelings clear to Ji Won. He wanted to be with her – not as a friend, but as someone special in her life. 

Ji Won, for the most part, had accepted him as a friend and truthfully, had never really led him to believe that he was anything more but he planned on coming up with a speech that would blow her mind into such tiny bits that she’d be unable to think straight and would have no choice but to accept him. 

Looking back at the previous night’s happenings, he understood why she’d rejected him and knowing her temper, expected her to be mad at him. But he didn’t think it was something an apology wouldn’t fix. So with renewed determination, he got off the couch and headed towards the shower. It was a new day and if everything went according to plan, it would also be the beginning of a new life. 

***

Shin slowed down his car at the stop sign then waved at the pedestrian crossing the road in front of him. He was being an idiot and waving at everybody but who cared? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so good. Okay, so maybe the first time his book had landed on the bestseller list came close but even that felt different.

Now that he was an old man in his 30s, scarred and more realistic about what life really was, he couldn’t believe that he was still able to feel so giddy about asking a woman out. But wasn’t love one of those ageless, timeless things that felt the same no matter how old you were? 

Shin hit the gas pedal but just as he was about to speed up, spotted a lady selling flowers by the roadside. 

“Ajumma, how much are your roses?” he said to the older woman as he approached her stall.

“2,000 Won per rose. But I can give you a dozen for two man won.” 

He scratched his head as he looked at her collection. It had been a while since he’d tried to woo a woman in this fashion but flowers always sealed the deal, didn’t they? “Which is more romantic; one rose or a dozen?”

The lady laughed. “Of course I will say a dozen.”

He joined in her laughter. “But imagine you weren’t selling them to me: how many would you suggest?” 

Another customer grabbed a bouquet of six roses and handed the woman some money. As she made change for that man, to Shin she said, “It depends on the occasion. Is it a celebration? An apology? A proposal? Or what?

He bobbed his head as he thought about it. “An apology and a confession.”

“The standard for an apology is fifteen. For a confession, it can go from one to one hundred.” 

***

What’s for lunch?

Ji Won read the text then threw her phone on the bed. She got off the bed and walked over to her kitchen. 

“What’s for lunch?” she said aloud as she grabbed a knife out of the block and looked at its sharp blade. “Your head on a stake, that’s what!” She threw the knife into the sink then opened her fridge. “WHAT THE FU.CK AM I GOING TO HAVE FOR LUNCH!?”

Hours earlier, irritated at the feel of tears on her cheek, Ji Won had quickly wiped her face and driven home. Thoughts of her stupidity, gullibility and blindness had filled her mind on the drive, however, it just somehow didn’t fit at all. Was it some kind of revenge plot? Did he do all this just to get back at her for leaving him in that hotel room over a year ago? 

Or was he playing some kind of game and was just doing it for kicks? Did he sleep with that woman just because she’d refused to sleep with him or did they have a regular arrangement? And if he was sleeping with that woman, what in the world did he want with her? Why had he gone through all the trouble to get to close to her? What exactly was his deal? 

She slammed the fridge door in frustration and went back to her bedroom. Her phone buzzed and she saw that she had another text from Shin. She sighed in annoyance. What was the best way to handle this bulls.hit? Ignore him till he got the message or confront him? But if she did that and heard the truth, would she be able to handle it? Especially as deep down inside, she knew that his tricks had begun to work on her? She wasn’t quite in the mood to hear confirmation that she was indeed a fool. 

Her phone began to ring. She frowned at it. “How cute. Here come the famous Shin persistence,” she said to the phone. “So because I’m ignoring your texts, you’ve decided to call, huh?” Having reached another level of anger, she grabbed her phone and answered it. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?”

“Whoa. Relax. It’s me,” a familiar voice said. 

“Oh,” Ji Won said, immediately feeling embarrassed. She cleared her throat. “Na Mi ah, what’s up?”

“Is that how you normally answer your phone? What wrong? It’s a little odd to see you all rattled up. Has someone been prank calling you?”

Ji Won frowned. Of all people to catch her like that – her nosiest, most gossipy friend. “Don’t worry about it. What’s up?”

“Ji Won ah, you need to help me.” Her friend went into a long explanation of how her boyfriend’s parents were coming over and how she’d planned to impress them with some foreign recipes she’d downloaded from the internet but somehow, something went wrong and now her kitchen looked like a disaster zone. “Chingu, you have to help me here. I’ll bring over the ingredients.”

“I don’t even know how to make any French dishes. How do you expect me to help you?”

“I’ve already changed my mind about the French stuff. His parents are a little country anyway so I don’t think they’ll even understand that stuff. So why don’t you just make one of your specialties?”

Ji Won’s frown deepened. Since when did she have any signature dishes? Her friend was clearly trying to butter her up. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. He said his mom loves seafood so that’s what I was planning to make. You can think about it on my way there.”

She hissed. “Do I seem jobless to you? What makes you think I want to spend my afternoon cooking for you?”

“Please, Ji Won, please. You have to save me.” 

She sighed. The girl sounded really desperate. “I’m sorry, Na Mi yah. I would have helped you any day but today. I just don’t think I’m up to it.” 

“You sound strange. Did something happen? I’ll come over and you can tell me about it while we cook together.”

“Are you deaf? I said….”

“I’m already on my way—”

“No, you’re not. I can hear the television in the background.”

After a short pause, her friend said, “Will you find me a new boyfriend if I get dumped today? See you in a few.” 

***

“That was quick! With your crazy driving I am sure—” Ji Won’s words were cut short by the sight of Shin’s smiling face. She looked away to hide her surprise and gripped the door handle tightly. Her heart had begun to race like crazy so she took a few deep breaths in to calm herself. Why did he have to show up? She still hadn’t decided between confronting him or ignoring him for life but apparently, he just had to show up to make her life even more difficult. 

She cleared her throat and gave him a pointed look. “What do you want?”

Shin smiled back at her with his hands behind his back, holding two bouquets of fifteen roses each. He figured that he needed to get two to show her just how sorry he was. Even though she was dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, she looked quite pretty, despite the clearly angry expression on her face. He licked his lips and smiled at her sheepishly. “What do you mean what do I want? I came to see you. Were you waiting for someone?”

It was bad enough that her heart was beating like crazy but why did she have to get a whiff of a mixture of his cologne and shampoo? And she wondered if he’d showered beforehand to get all traces of the other woman off him before he came to her. “What do you want?” she repeated. 

“May I come in?” 

She leaned against the doorframe leaving as little space as possible in the doorway. “Of course not.”

He nodded slightly, acknowledging to himself that she was just as angry as he’d expected. “I knew you’d be mad so I got these for you,” he said, whipping out the flowers from behind his back. “The florist said that it was standard to get fifteen roses to apologize. So I got thirty.” He held them out to her with a hopeful expression on his face. 

Perhaps if she hadn’t seen him with another woman, she would have found his little act cute. But since her mind had begun to fill with images of them in a variety of positions, it only served to sicken her. Disgusted, she rolled her eyes, hissed then turned around to walk back into her apartment but Shin quickly grabbed her by her elbow to stop her. “Where are you going?”

She looked at his hand in disgust and that made him react by taking it off her. Then she looked at him from the side of her eye. “Stop wasting my time.”

The joy Shin had felt that morning slowly turned to nervousness. This was going to be a lot more difficult than he anticipated. “I said I’m sorry.”

She turned around, leaned on the doorframe again and folded her arms. “Sorry for what?” In her heart, she double dared him to tell the truth. 

“Ji Won ah…”

She raised an eyebrow. “Ji Won ah?

“Why don’t I come in so we can discuss this?”

“Discuss what? Who am I to you that you feel you need to discuss something with me? I have company coming over so please hurry up with whatever you want to say so that I can get ready for the person.”

“You have someone coming over? Who?"

“It’s none of your business. Anyway, I don’t want your flowers so you can just leave.”

“Don’t be like this. Yesterday…”

“What happened yesterday?”

“I had no right to take my frustrations out on you. So many things were going through my mind and I wasn’t thinking straight. Can’t you forgive me? Please?” He handed the flowers out to her again. On his way over, he’d come up with so many things to say but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember any. 

“Okay, good to know. Have a nice life. Bye.” 

As she turned to leave, instinct took over and he grabbed her once again.

She pushed his hand off her, knocking one bouquet on the floor. “Leave me alone for crying out loud! And stop touching me!”

Shin was stunned for a second before he bent down to pick up the flowers, wondering if begging her on his knees would be too pathetic. And if she was acting like this, how would he manage to tell her that he wanted them to try being together? How naĂŻve was he to think that she’d forgive him and give him a chance to confess his feelings to her? Why did she have to be so difficult?

Ji Won frowned as she watched him pick the flowers, pretending to be all meek. What an as.shole. And to think that all this was just some game to him? Okay, that did it – she was going to have to let him know what she wasn’t someone to be toyed with. 

“What did you say you were sorry about?”

Before he could reply, a family of four stepped out of their apartment on the other side of them and as they waited for them to pass by and get into the elevators, Ji Won leaned back, sending daggers at him with her eyes while he practiced his apology in his head. 

The second the family was out of sight, Shin said, “I already told you what I am sorry for. Last night, I was out of line. Everything you did last night was right. Everything I did last night was wrong. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Are you sure that’s what you’re really sorry about?”

“I probably said some mean and rude things to you. I’m sorry about those as well.”

“That’s it?

“Yes.” He narrowed his eyes as he tried to read the expression on her face but couldn’t quite figure out what she was getting at. He went through all his memories and come up short. “I’m also sorry for wronging you in any other way.”

She pursed her lips and shook her head. ”See, I think that’s not what you’re really sorry about.”

“I’m not following you.” 

Aren’t you really sorry that you didn’t get to seal the deal? Because if you had, you wouldn’t have needed to waste your money on those stupid flowers and keep up with this ridiculous act.”

Huh? “I’m really not following you at all. What are you talking about?”

“Where did you go last night... after you left here?”

“Home.”

“Alone?”

“Of course alone. Who would I have gone home with?”

“Hmm… let me see. I don’t know. This is a wild guess but perhaps the woman that spent in the night in your bed.”

His mouth fell open. “How did you…?” His voice trailed off as he stared at her in shock. How in the world would she have known about Min Su? Did they know each other? What the hell?

She burst into laughter. “You see? I’m not the fool you think I am. Oh God,” she continued with forced laughter. She slapped her knee and pointed at him. “I wish you could see your face right now.” 

Shin stood still, feeling a little dejected. How could things get even worse? “Are we going to stand in the hallway all day?" he said softly. "Let me come in so I talk to you properly.”

Her demeanor suddenly turned cold. “Why would I let you into my home? Who are you to me?”

He looked directly into her eyes, hoping that she could see his feelings. “That’s part of why I came today.”

She scoffed and turned her face away. “This is just too ridiculous.” Especially as he was trying to look so innocent when she knew the truth. 

“I guess I’m going to have to do this out here.” The flowers were beginning to look stupid in his hands so he laid them on the floor and stood up straight. “Yes, someone stayed over last night but it was completely innocent. Nothing happened.”

“So you expect me to believe that you spent the entire night having tea and crumpets while you sang lullabies as you watched the sun come up?”

“What?”

“You’re trying to tell me that after you’d spent last night on your futile attempt to sleep with me, you called another woman over who happened to spend the night and “nothing” happened? What does ‘nothing’ mean to you? Please explain what that word means so that it can make sense.”

Truthfully, Shin would have tried lying if he thought he could get away with it, but since he couldn’t even figure out how she’d known about Min Su, he couldn’t tell how much she really knew so he decided to come clean. “What I’m saying is that I stopped it before it could get too far. I didn’t sleep with her. She took the bed while I took the couch.” 

Ji Won chuckled. “How so gentlemanly of you. So after making out with her you decided to sleep separately. How so romantic.”

Frustration began to build within him. “What I don’t understand is why you’re so mad about this. Why does it matter to you who I spend my night with?”

They heard the sound of someone approaching so they turned to see Na Mi walking towards them with a bag full of groceries. They’d been so engrossed in the conversation that they hadn’t even heard the elevator bell ding. 

Na Mi, who was surprised by the scene, looked at them apprehensively and through clenched teeth spoke to Ji Won when she was within earshot. “Chingu, did I come at the wrong time? Should I come by later?”

Ji Won stepped aside so that her friend could walk into her apartment. “I’m almost done here. I’ll be with you in a minute,” she said before shutting the door behind her. She could already tell that she’d have a lot of explaining to do and didn’t need for her friend to hear too much. It would just lead to them spending the rest of the day talking about Shin and that was the last thing she wanted. 

“As you can see, my friend has arrived so I’m done here. Take care.”

“Just answer my question before you leave. Even if I’d slept with her, why would you care?"

“I couldn’t care less if you slept with all the women and men in the world and caught a thousand STDs. It just irritates me that you involved me in your sick game.”

He shook his head. “What game are you talking about? There's no game here. I've always been honest about my feelings for you. I think you're angry for another reason. Otherwise, why would you sound so jealous?"

“Jealous?” She let out some exaggerated laughs then abruptly stopped. “That’s just absurd.”

Watching her display of exaggerated incredulity confirmed it for him. Did he suddenly turn perceptive or had he been so caught up in his own emotions that he’d never noticed how easy she was to read? “You are jealous.” A mixture of relief and a burst of joy put a smile on his face. “You really are jealous, aren’t you?” He grinned when he saw her cheeks redden with the angry look she gave in response. “You really like me a lot, don’t you?”

What the hell just happened? Instead of trying to defend himself, he was smiling? It was just too much for her to take so after giving him the sharpest and angriest glare she could muster, Ji Won turned around, walked into her apartment and slammed her door shut. 

***

Shin was practically floating on air by the time he got to his car. “She likes me. She really likes me!” he yelled to the uninterested passers-by. By the time he was in the driver’s seat, he couldn’t control his laughter. “Oh my god, she freaking likes me!” he kept repeating in a mix of glee and disbelief. 

His phone rang and after glancing at the caller-id, he answered it. “Halmoni, she likes me!”

But instead of his grandma to take the bait, she said, “Are you at home?”

Her grim tone snapped him back to reality. “No, I’m out. I went to see a friend.”

“Okay. You need to come to the hospital right now. I’ll give you the address.”