Chapter 19

Living with Mr. Yoo was as uneventful as the first day I met him. My mom had left me alone in the cold, strange apartment and after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the sound of keys rattling at the other side of the door. Startled, I sprung to my feet out of both fear and curiosity and wondered which of the million scenarios I'd imagined in the hours I'd waited for him would come to pass. So when the door finally opened, with my bag held tightly against my chest, I held my breath and watched as a scraggly man walked into the apartment.



The first thing I noticed was that he was tall and thin with a very short crop and a full beard. For all the time I spent with him, I often wondered why he spent so much time ensuring that the hair on his head never grew past an inch but never spared a second for the beard that was so big it probably housed a colony of chicks. But then again, he seemed to dance to the beat of his own drum. On that first day, after walking into the apartment dressed in very dirty jeans and what had probably once been a white t-shirt, instead of introducing himself to me like most others would, he didn't even spare me a single glance. Instead, he headed straight into the bathroom and before I could figure out if he'd seen me or not, turned the shower on.



Surprised, I sat back on the floor and waited then ten minutes later, watched as he walked out of the bathroom in a pair of clean pajamas and walked into the kitchen to prepare himself some dinner. The entire scene was confusing. From his actions, it was obvious that he wasn't blind yet, he'd completely ignored me. What exactly did that mean? Did it somehow imply that he'd only grudgingly agreed to take me into his care? Had one of my least desirable scenarios come to pass? Now more frightened that I'd ever been, I was silently debating calling out to him when he suddenly plopped a plate of rice and vegetables at my feet.



"I'm sorry," he said, smiling down at me and showing off surprisingly white teeth. "That's all I have right now. I planned to get groceries today but I forgot. I'll try to get some meat this weekend. Please manage it," he pleaded kindly. And without waiting for a response, he sat next to me and dug into his food.



The rest of our days together didn't deviate much from our initial meeting. He wasn't one for small talk and only spoke when necessary. But even though he didn't say much, he was quite thoughtful because when he noticed that I liked to read, he went out of his way to bring discarded magazines and books he found at his workplace home for me. Over time, I got used to his personality and realized that he was so forgetful that if I wanted to have meat for dinner, I've have to walk over to the nearby market to buy some with the money he often remembered to give to me.



It was on one such day that I met the old, sturdy man who'd later change my life forever.





"Where are we now?" Ji Won asked as Shin pulled into the driveway of a moderately sized house.

"You'll see," he replied coyly as his foot hit the brakes.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes and winding up the window.

Shin chuckled and did the same. Then he glanced at her and smiled to himself.

The conversation they'd shared during their car ride had been far more pleasant that he remembered and that had helped calm his nerves. His entire relationship with Ji Won thus far had been more than a little confusing and volatile but now, he was really beginning to feel like they'd turned a corner.

About a minute later, Ji Won had just stepped out of the car when the front door to the house opened and out walked a white-haired man with wire-rimmed glasses and a curious smile. Even though she'd never met the man, she instantly recognized him. She sighed and turned to Shin. "Why didn't you tell me we were coming to see your grandparents?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention it? I hope you don't mind," he said, avoiding her eyes.

Ji Won looked to him and then to the old man waiting patiently at the door and felt her heart race. For some inexplicable reason, she wanted to make a good impression on him and after silently cursing Shin for not warning her, glanced at her clothing and hoped that they were appropriate.
***

After mentally agreeing to suck it up and be satisfied with her clothing, Ji Won turned around and watched Shin open the trunk and pull out a gift bag. Her eyes widened in disbelief. "What the hell is that?"

Shin looked at the red and brown bag then back at her. "What does it look like?" he asked, slamming the trunk shut.

"Is it someone's birthday?" She marched over to him.

He nodded innocently and avoided her eyes. "Yeah, my grandmother. It's tomorrow."

"Wow," she said, rolling her eyes and walking in front of him. "Now, I look like a stingy bi.tch. Since you knew we were coming down here, you could at least have told me about it and given me the chance to get something." Yes, the lady was only her writer's grandmother but that didn't mean that she shouldn't be courteous, did it? She would probably have been able to write it off as a business expense. She glanced back at him and hissed in annoyance.

Shin giggled from behind her. "If it bothers you that much, I can add your name to the card."

She was about to respond with a cutting remark when she heard her phone ring. She excused herself and pulled out her phone and saw that it was her mother calling. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at it for a few seconds while it rang, not sure of what to do next.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" He didn't even want to think of who it could be.

She took a deep breath in then flipped the phone open. Even though she knew she was going to get yelled at for not keeping their dinner date, she also realized it would be rude to not apologize to her mother. She'd avoided previous dinner dates because she was sure her mother was trying to fix her up with someone and had only been cornered into this one by her sister. And now that she'd unintentionally missed dinner, she was sure her mother wouldn't buy her excuse. Funny how the woman used to believe her lies but now, would probably not believe the truth. But what the heck? She was a grown woman and had to face the music somehow.





***



Shin's grandmother dropped the plate of roast chicken on the table and looked at the small spread of rice and vegetables next to it. "I wish you'd told me you were coming over this evening and especially that you were bringing a guest with you," she said for the umpteenth time. "If I'd known, I'd have prepared something better."

"Oh, I see," her husband said. "So you only cook good things when there are guests coming?"

She shrugged. "Isn't it obvious? Why bother going to great lengths for you when you'll eat anything?" she teased.

Ji Won smiled to herself. Moments like this always reminded her of the life she'd expected to lead with Joon Young and how she'd imagined they'd grow old together. Not that she could really picture him teasing her like that.

Shin father shook his head at his wife. "Instead of appreciating me, keep talking like that. Before you know it, you'll end up losing me to a beautiful young girl."

His wife scoffed and picked up his plate to serve him. "Not even in your dreams."

"You think I'm kidding?" he continued. "Beautiful young girls hit on me everyday. I'm still very attractive, you know?" He turned to Ji Won. "You think I'm attractive, don't you? Look at me properly," he said, lifting his chest and sitting up straight, "Don't you think I'm attractive? I'm probably your type, right?"

Suddenly brought into their bickering in a particularly odd way, Ji Won found herself speechless. She parted her lips but couldn't think of what would be the right thing to say. "Ehm…," she began.

Shin chuckled then touched her arm for support. "Just ignore him – he just loves to tease people and make them feel uncomfortable. I thought he was so weird when I first started living with him but he's just teasing. Ignore him."

Ji Won sank into her chair, relieved that she didn't have to respond.

"Yes, ignore him like I do," his wife said, placing his full plate in front of him. Then she pointed at the dishes. "Please dig in."



***

About 10 minutes into their dinner, Shin's grandfather put down his chopsticks and looked at his grandson. "So you thought I was weird?"

Shin chuckled and nodded. The moment those words had escaped his lips, he knew he'd have to explain himself at some point. "Of course I thought you were weird. What kind of man follows a little boy all around a food market? All you did was say hello to me then follow me around for about fifteen minutes. Who does that?"

"A weirdo," his grandmother supplied.

It was Shin's turn to put down his chopsticks. "And not only did you follow me that first time, you just happened to be at the market the next two times I was there, standing a few feet away staring at me. It was quite creepy and scary now that I think about it."

"I can imagine. But think about how I felt. Seeing you that first time was like being struck by lightning. Or maybe you can say, being hit by a meteorite and being transported to twenty-five years earlier. You were pretty much the spitting image of my son. There's no right way to react to that."

Shin flinched despite himself. Even though he felt he'd dealt with his abandonment issues, he still didn't like being compared to a man who'd done absolutely nothing for him in his life.

Ji Won noticed the slight change in his demeanor and finally understood why she'd been invited to share his private family moments with him. Maybe she was there to weed out topics he had yet to explore in his memoir… a topic like his father.

"But when you finally agreed to move here, I learned that you were nothing like Hee Chul," his grandfather mused.

Ji Won looked from grandfather to grandchild and recalled that part of the story. Apparently, unbeknownst to him, his grandfather had followed him one day and waited for Mr. Yoo to return from work. Unlike most normal people, instead of speaking with him that day, he'd stalked him for a few days before showing up at his workplace. As Shin wasn't present at any of these conversations, he was very shocked when about a month after meeting the old man, he learned he'd be living with him permanently. Shin had fought tooth and nail to not go home with the weird stranger but Mr. Yoo promised him that it would be for the best.

Shin grandmother reached over the table and touched Shin's cheek gently then smiled fondly at him. "At first I thought you were mute or just hadn't developed your language skills properly. You were so shy and didn't like to be around us. I think 'yes' and 'no' were the only words you spoke to me for about six months. And no matter how hard I tried to get to know you, you didn't open up."

"Halmoni, you're exaggerating," he said gruffly.

Ji Won turned to him and was shocked to see that he'd begun to blush furiously. So he knew how to be embarrassed? Yoon Pil Suh? What the heck?

"No, I'm serious. I was so worried and embarrassed and ashamed that someone I had given birth to was so heartless and had allowed his own flesh and blood to lead such a miserable life."

"It wasn't miserable," Shin defended. "It was different and probably wasn't ideal but I always felt loved. By my grandmother, by Aunt Oo Ra, by Uncle Bong Chol and even Mr. Yoo. And then, of course, by you guys," he said, waving his hand aimlessly. "So you see, it wasn't miserable." He picked up his glass of water and took a sip to wet his suddenly dry mouth. Even though it had been years, he still hated being pitied.

"No, it wasn't," his grandfather said with fake cheer. "It made you who you are today. A great man."

Shin laughed. "Hey, you don't have to take it too far."

His grandmother averted her eyes and fought to fight back tears. "No, it wasn't a miserable life," she said through a choked voice. Then she reached out and touched Shin's arm. "No, it wasn't miserable at all." It was something she'd been trying to reassure herself for over ten years and something she'd yet to fully believe.

Ji Won stared at her plate as the dinning room fell into uncomfortable silence. She put some rice in her mouth as she let the reality of what was being said sink in. She'd been far removed from his life story because she'd simply been treating it as words on paper. Paragraphs in a chapter. As pages in a book. She'd solely been viewing the story from an editor's point of view but now that it had been both humanized and validated, now that she suddenly realized that everything he'd written had really happened to him, her heart suddenly felt heavy with sadness and regret. And pity about the happy childhood he'd never gotten to experience. She glanced at him then looked back at her plate. Poor thing, she thought.

"Harbuji, remember how you used to drop mathematical equations in front of me and order me to solve them?"

His grandfather laughed. "You constantly had your nose in your notebook writing and writing so I wondered if you'd inherited my genes and were a genius and since we didn't think you were quite ready for school, that was my way of investigating it."

"And the result was…?" his wife asked, smiling and leading him to the punchline.

"And the result was that you weren't a genius at all! At your age, you should have at least been able to do long division!"

Shin pouted. "Hey, it's not my fault that I'd never been to school!"

They all laughed. "An excuse that would have been valid if you'd understood it after attending school," his grandmother joked.


"Whatever, men. Why do I need to learn long division when I can just use a calculator?"

Ji Won sat quietly, smiling and laughing as she watched the friendly family banter. Seeing Shin as a fully rounded person, not simply as this writer who'd lied to her and gotten on her nerves, she suddenly found herself developing some kind of respect for him. For the man who'd managed to create a full, productive life out of a history that could have made him a bitter, unhappy adult wielding an axe to grind against the world. And as she watched him laugh and tease his grandmother, she inexplicably felt proud of him. No, that wasn't it. She wasn't proud of him but instead, proud to know him. Or was she just finally happy to have had the opportunity to work with him? She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she definitely felt glad to be there. With them.