Let's have sex? Had he heard right? he wondered. But considering that she was now in the process of unbuttoning her jeans, maybe he had. In his life, he'd had his share of pushy, horny or gold-digging women but even they weren't this shameless. What was her deal? If he were married or in a relationship, he might have thought that it was a set up or some kind of test his wife had concocted to reassure herself of his faithfulness. But what was this?
He watched her pull down her pants and sucked his breath in. With a body like that, there was no way she was underage so he doubted it was some kind of blackmail scheme. What was wrong with her? She was obviously depressed so had she just discovered that she had AIDS and was trying to seek revenge against the world by taking as many people with her? No matter what the true scenario was, he wanted no part of it.
She was reaching for her panties when he stepped back, grabbed the shirt that had been hanging over his chair and threw it at her. "Cover yourself up," he ordered, looking away from her.
What the hell am I doing? Ji Won asked herself. It was like a scene from a really bad porn flick and she couldn't believe she'd actually stooped so low. But it will be all worth it in the end - she just had to push harder. She let his shirt fall to the ground then moved closer to him. "Don't you find me attractive?" she purred. She licked her lips seductively and smiled at him making sure he could see the twinkle in her eye.
He looked from her full breasts to her flat stomach down to the thong that was the only piece of clothing she still had on. If only he'd been made of steel. In a different time and place, he wouldn't have minded having those slim legs wrapped around him. But not today. Not like this. "No. I don't find you attractive. Just put your clothes back on and leave."
"Really?" she smirked. "I think you do find me attractive," she said, training her eyes on the rapidly increasing bulge in his pants. She took two steps closer and reached for the top of his pants. Before he could push her hands off, she was on her knees.
***
Ji Won struggled to keep the bile from rising up. She'd never been so disgusted with herself. Men were easy creatures and it wasn't difficult to get Shin to change his mind but now that they were about to have sex, she wanted to throw up.
She didn't even know what was wrong with him. Since they were strangers, why was he wasting time with all the foreplay? They'd been lying on the bed for about ten minutes and he was still trailing kisses all over her body. Couldn't he tell that every time she felt his spit on her body, she wanted to hurl? She should have been turned on, she should have been excited to finally be able to have the fling she'd been dreaming off. After all, underneath those clothes, he did have an impressive body --and she wasn't just talking about his abs-- so why couldn't she be more excited about this?
She already knew it was going to be the worst sexual experience of her life because even though they said that sex was half mental, her body wasn't even complying with the other half. She wasn't aroused, moist, wasn't turned on in any way but regardless, she was still going to do it. She had to.
He moved up and kissed her neck while caressing her thighs. Then he moved up even higher to kiss her mouth.
"Can you just get on with it?" she whispered. As soon as the words escaped her lips, a tear escaped her eye.
***
Crying? She was crying? Shin rolled off her and onto the other half of the bed. "Why are you crying? Wasn't this your idea?"
Panicked, Ji Won quickly wiped her cheek and climbed on top of him. "No. I'm fine. Where's the condom? Let's do this," she said, her voice getting shakier with every passing word. She found the pack of condoms on the nightstand and took one. She was going to do this even if it killed her.
Unwrapping condoms was something that she could do in her sleep but for some reason, the more she tried to tear the condom wrapper open, the more her hand shook. Every time she caught hold of the corner, it would slip out of her hand. She even tried to tear it open with her teeth but with no luck. What kind of adhesive had they used on it, anyway?
Shin felt an overwhelming sadness as he watched her struggling with the wrapper. He'd never seen anyone look so clumsy. Why was she acting like this? Was she an old virgin determined to finally lose her virginity? Is that what it was all about? He reached across and covered her hands with his. "Stop this, Alex."
She looked up at him with teary eyes. "What do you mean? I'm almost there. I'll soon open it."
He gently pushed her off him. "Let's forget it. We can do this another time."
"No. Let's do it now," she said, not bothering to hide her desperation.
He moved his legs off the bed and sat on the edge. "No. How about another time?"
"Please." She could barely see him as her eyes had become cloudy with moisture. "Please."
He looked over at her and watched her collapse onto the bed in sobs.
***
"Gone?" she asked the lady, pointing at the empty lobby.
"Yes, Miss. They've already left for the day but if you'd like to go into town, I'll gladly get a driver for you."
Ji Won only understood the first sentence but wasn't interested in what else the lady had to say. She thanked her and turned around. It only made sense that she'd miss the bus after all, the day had started off shitty. After waking up in a strange bed to find a slightly less strange man, sleeping next to her, she slowly remembered the happenings of the previous night and like a jet, flew back to her room.
After sleeping a bit longer, she woke up to discover that she'd missed breakfast and that room service wasn't included in her package. She grabbed three apples from the fruit bowl at the lobby and walked towards the elevators.
Her stomach growled with hunger so she wiped one of the apples against her shorts then bit into it. Her mind was intent on traveling to what had happened the previous night but she was fighting it because she knew that if she really thought about it, it meant that she'd never again be able to look at herself in the mirror.
She was still waiting for the elevator when she heard footsteps. She turned to look and her body stiffened when she saw who it was. Oh shi.t.
"You missed breakfast too?" Shin asked.
"Hmm," she said, not looking at him. Her body was on the verge of turning bright red and she hit the elevator call button repeatedly, hoping that would somehow make one arrive quicker.
In all his life, Shin had never seen a woman fidget so much. At least, not one that he'd seen naked. Not that last night had been one of his shining moments. It wasn't like he thought he was a super stud in bed but he'd never had any complaints. It was his policy to try to pleasure the woman as much as he could, while pleasuring himself. But with her…. He'd never in his life been with someone so unresponsive yet so desperate. He'd perfected the skill in touching women in certain places that he was sure would make them moan but apparently, she was immune to his skills. It had almost been like trying to make love to a block of wood and it was such a turn off that he'd constant struggled to retain his hardness. But seeing that tear drop from her eye was like poking a balloon with a needle – he'd never deflated so quickly.
But yet, as he saw her wringing her hands in nervousness, he couldn't help but feel pity for her. His brain was telling him to run as far away as possible yet his lips said, "This lift is a taking a long time to arrive, don't you think?"
As she stood there, trying to ignore his presence, she'd been silently praying for the ground to swallow her up. But now he was talking to her? She took a deep breath and said, "Yes."
"Maybe there's something wrong with it."
"Hmm."
After a few more excruciatingly awkward seconds, the elevator finally arrived. They both walked in and hit the buttons for their respective floors and waited for the door to close.
"You missed today's outing too?"
She nodded.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked just as the elevator doors shut.
Her heart sank the moment the lift started to move up. Not only was he still talking to her, he just had to refer to their previous night. More embarrassed than she'd ever imagined, she waited for a few beats then said, "About last night… I'm sorry. I don't know--"
"Forget about," he interrupted, smiling at her. He didn't exactly want to spend time thinking about it, either. "What are you doing today?"
"Ehm, sorry?"
"Since you couldn't go out with the group. Are you going into town?"
She shook her head and kept her eyes trained at the elevator doors.
"It looks like we are at my floor," he said as the elevator halted to a stop. As soon as the doors parted open, he put his foot out to act as a barricade then turned to her. "Since we've been left alone, we can hang out together. Meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes and," he said, looking at her feet, "change your shoes."
Ji Won was still in shock as he walked out of the elevator and towards his room.
***
Ji Won held onto Shin as he helped her up the last rock. She'd initially decided against meeting him but ten minutes after their scheduled time, curiosity got the best of her so she went to the lobby and found him waiting for her. She really didn't know why he was still being nice to her but she chucked it up to him being just as lonely as she was and not wanting to be alone. Besides, why think about it so much? It was just a vacation and they'd be parting ways soon enough.
Over an hour later, she was on top of a mountain. Throughout their ride, he'd been friendly and personable and that, coupled with what had happened the previous night, she was sure he couldn't possibly have any sexual interest in her, which was good because she was sweating and probably looked like a pig.
She wiped off some sweat with the back of her hand then turned to him. "What is this again?"
"You might have seen the sign when were driving here. It's Arikok National park. I didn't pick any of the tourist locations so we should be alone."
He put down his backpack and sat on a smooth rock. Then she staggered forward and did the same. "If I'd known that you were taking me hiking, I'd have stayed in my room."
He unzipped his back pack, pulled out two plastic bottles of apple juice and handed one to her. "It's good exercise. I usually like to go hiking when I have a lot on my mind or I just need to think. Something about the serenity, crisp air and coolness has a way of clearing your mind. "
"I see."
"I hope it works for you too," he said, sending her a knowing look.
Ji Won took a swig of the now warm apple juice and stood up. She walked over to the grassy area and towards a steep edge. "What's the name of the ocean?" she asked, pointing to a water body a few hundred feet below.
He stood up and walked up to her. "I don't think it's an ocean – I believe it's a river."
"Okay, what's the name of the river?"
"It's called Intotok. Local lure claims that hundreds of years ago, when a native girl called Intotok came to take her bath on the banks of the river, she met a lost sea god. She was very beautiful with her eyes, body, hair, you know how it goes."
"Sure."
"Anyway, before long, they fell in love and the sea god no longer had any interest in returning to his homeland. On the day he planned to propose to her, he waited and waited and waited for her to show up but she never did. It turned out that she'd been forced into a marriage with the village chief. The sea god, as you can imagine, was devastated. The story is that on very stormy nights, you can hear the wind whistling, "Intotok, Intotok," as the sea god searches for his long lost love. In fact, sometimes, when the waves crash against the banks of the river, you can still hear him calling her name," he said dramatically.
"Really?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"The water crashes and makes a 'tok-tok" sound? Not like a 'whoosh-whoosh' sound?"
He thought about it. "You think Inwooshwoosh would sound more believable?"
"Yeah," she said, watching as a wave crashed against the side of the rock.
He nodded. "Cool. I'll use that one next time."
She gave him a sidelong glance. "Next time? You made it up again?" She shook her head. "Are you like some kind of pathological liar?"
He immediately adopted an innocent look. "If I say no, will you believe me?"
For some reason, that made her burst out laughing.
Chaper 8
Ji Won took the binoculars from Shin and watched as a bird sped up to catch up with its school. They'd been lying on the grass for about thirty minutes and she'd loved every single minute of it. Shin had been right – there was something about standing on top of the world that made everything look so insignificant. She'd been dumped – so what? Life still went on. The grass still grew, the winds still blew and even the little birds flying above her still went about their business. So why not her? She felt a weird sensation on her leg and when she investigated it, saw an ant crawling on her. She chuckled. Heck, even the ant was doing its thing, not caring about her problems, she thought as she flicked it off her.
"Feeling better?" Shin asked. They hadn't spoken for a while but he could already sense a change in her.
She nodded. "Yes, thank you. This was a good idea." She shut her eyes and breathed in the cool air.
"So what's your story?" He sat up and looked down at her. "I know the whole chef tale is bogus."
"You do?" she replied, still lying down and looking into the exceptionally clear sky. She wouldn't have minded dying if that view was the last thing she got to see.
"Yes. It's pretty obvious you're lying. So what's the deal? Why are you here alone?"
She sighed. "I guess I came to find myself."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that I came to find myself." After a moment of silence she said, "How old are you?"
"Talk about changing the topic." He laid back down beside her. "Why do you ask?"
"I'm just curious. How old are you?"
"Thirty-one."
She tossed the figure around in her mind. She'd not been too far off although she'd expected him to be a few years younger. "And why are you here alone?"
"I just worked on two projects back to back and apparently, I needed a well deserved break. I'll be starting on a new one the second I return to Seoul." He ran his fingers through some wisps of grass. "In fact, I'd planned this as a working holiday so I should have started by now."
She looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Really?" A working holiday? "What do you do?"
He cleared his throat. "Aren't you a little too curious for someone who refuses to share anything about herself?"
"Okay." She rolled to her side to reach for her packet of chips. "Be like that," she said as she rolled back on her back. "If you don't want to tell me, then I don't have to know." A cool breeze passed, blowing her hair onto her face. "But I must say that it was a good idea coming here – it is exactly what I needed."
"I figured. It's something I've been doing for almost all my life."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. We didn't have a lot of money growing up so when I was hungry, I used to go up to a little hill not too far from our house and just lie and breathe in the fresh air. Lying there, listening to all the sounds of nature, I'd come up with all these little stories about why the wind was blowing the tree in this direction or what the queen ant was thinking as she walked home and in the end, I'd get so involved in my fantasies that I'd forget about my hunger."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But it's funny because one day, I just walked a little further than I normally did and came across some wild berries so I guess that was another reason to go up there when I was hungry." He chuckled, vaguely remembering how happy he'd been to find them. "But now, even though I have some money, I still love hiking up hills to clear my mind. I guess it still gets all my juices flowing."
Ji Won felt a little sad listening to his tale. Then she scrunched her nose. "Hey, are you making stuff up again? Hiking to forget hunger?" she scoffed.
Shin smiled but didn't say anything.
***
"Yah! What are you scared of?" Ji Won yelled from the lagoon. After snorkeling, the group had changed venue and were now swimming with dolphins. Almost everyone but a British couple and Shin were in the water. It was barely a full day since their hike and now that she no longer cared about having a fling, she was having a great time. Even though she sometimes found her mind wandering over to her dashed wedding plans, she'd look around and after drinking in the beauty that was Aruba, she'd quickly shake it out of her mind. "Can't you see those kids in the water?" she said, pointing at another group at their location. "If primary school students can get in, why not you?"
Logically, he realized that dolphins were peaceful, loving animals but what if one of them decided to go nuts and attack everyone? Even if it was only a minute chance, he had no intentions of testing fate. Besides, what's so special about swimming with overgrown fish?
A dolphin swam up to Ji Won and poked her in the cheek. She smiled and stroked its head. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? This is like the cutest thing. Can't you see its face?" she kissed it then swam under to stroke its belly.
When she swam up, she noticed that Shin was sitting down looking bored. She was very grateful for the role he'd played in helping her get back to her normal self and wanted him to have as much fun as she was. Even if he didn't swim with the dolphins, he could still enjoy the cool water.
She waved at the British couple who were laughing and watching their friends swim. "Hello? Hello?!" she yelled in an attempt to catch their attention.
Almost everyone looked at her but after gesturing enough times, the couple figured out that she was talking to them. "Excuse me?" the wife said.
She smiled and pointed at Shin. "Push!"
Shin stood up and walked towards the edge of the lagoon. "What are you doing?"
She ignored him and kept yelling at the couple to push him in till they understood what she meant and did just that.
***
"Wow, you really look quite gorgeous," Shin commented as they walked towards the elevators.
"And so do you."
He'd suggested that they visit an upscale club a friend of his had recommended so she'd slipped into a black spaghetti-strapped slip dress that hugged her in all the right places and didn't in the wrong. She'd dubbed it her 'Eff-Me Dress' when she'd seen it in the store, purchasing it solely to drive Joon Young crazy. But since he'd readily passed up on the opportunity, she didn't see a reason to let it go to waste. She'd left her hair to fall freely on her back and had expertly applied her make up to emphasize her eyes and softly highlight her lips. She felt and looked good and was planning on having the time of her life. It was her last day in Aruba and she was going to end her vacation with a bang.
Shin, for his part, also looked pretty great as well. He was wearing black slacks, a baby blue shirt and a black sports jacket. He'd pulled his hair in a ponytail, emphasizing his cheekbones and even she had to admit that he cleaned up pretty well.
"We're probably going to be the best looking couple there," she joked as they waited for the elevators to arrive.
"I'm quite sure we will," he replied, trying his best not to look at her ass. How come she hadn't looked that good a few days ago?
***
"I want to do that," Ji Won said, watching a few Salsa dancers teach some of the guests some steps.
He shook his head. "No, let's leave the experts to that."
"How can we come to a Salsa bar and not dance? It makes no sense."
They'd just left the restaurant section having spent almost two hours eating and were now at a table nursing some drinks. It had been a pleasant evening and even though they still hadn't shared much about their personal lives, there hadn't been an awkward moment.
"That guy has a cute butt, doesn't he?" she asked, looking at the lead dancer's ass. It was round and pert and she wondered what would happen if she threw a quarter at it.
Shin didn't bother looking. "I wouldn't know."
She rolled her eyes. "You mean to say that just because you're a guy, you can't tell when another guy's butt is cute?"
He raised his brow. "Where are you going with this?"
She laughed. "Don't mind me," she said as she watched the dancer's cheeks move with every step he made.
Shin observed her as she smiled, noticing the slight dimple that appeared whenever she made half smiles. Was it wrong that he now kind of liked her? Would it be wrong to want to keep in touch with her after their vacation ended? "So what are we doing tomorrow?"
Ji Won darted her eyes to him then quickly looked back at the dance floor. "Whatever the group is doing, I suppose." She still hadn't told him that it was her last night.
"We've already been hang gliding, snorkeling, even sailing. Maybe we should do our own thing tomorrow."
"Okay. Hey," she said, standing up. She grabbed his hand and tugged it. "Let's go and dance."
***
"Left, left, right right," Ji Won murmured, trying to remember the steps.
"Actually, I think it's: Left, left, left, right right." He did the steps to the beat.
The dance lessons had ended and now, everyone was just trying to dance to the music. They were holding hands and doing their best to move like the dancers they'd watched only a few minutes earlier.
"This sucks," Ji Won said, resting her legs. "How come I can't remember anything? You saw me doing it with the teacher, didn't you? I was getting it, wasn't I?"
Shin nodded. He was far too amused at how frustrated she was getting. "Forget about the steps. How about we just do whatever?"
"Yeah," she said, dropping his hand. It wasn't like she had any other choices, anyway. Then she put both of her palms on his chest and beat it repeatedly. "Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhythm!" she chanted.
Shin grabbed her hands to stop them then looked at her incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?"
She pushed her head back and laughed boisterously. "Don't mind me. It's from a movie. Pase doble!" she yelled before stomping her foot. Then she laughed some more. "Okay, okay, let me be a bit more serious here." She stepped back and swayed her hips. "What do you think? Does it look authentic?" She put one arm up and rotated her hand in a salsa stance.
He nodded. "Looks good enough to me." Her pose only served to emphasize her curves more.
"Good." She put one hand on his shoulder and whined her waist to the beat of the song. Shin moved in step and they spent the next few hours drinking, dancing and laughing at each other's dance moves.
***
"Oh my God I had such a good time!" Ji Won exclaimed as they walked to her room. She held up the bottle of wine they'd won as the 'Most Improved Couple' and smiled at him. "Feel like a glass?"
Even though it was pretty late as they'd stayed at the bar till closing, he really wasn't ready to leave her yet. "Just a little glass."
She nodded and opened her hotel room door.
Ten minutes later, they were sitting in her room having their second glasses of wine.
Ji Won put her half empty glass on the nightstand and ran her hand through her hair. "Aruba is great. I have to come back again sometime. I feel there's still a lot of stuff left for me to see."
He laughed at how alive and content she looked. "You've certainly changed. You look nothing like you did the first time I saw you having breakfast alone."
She shook her head as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. "Yes, it was awful but let's not talk about it, aye?"
He chuckled. "I wont," he said as he sipped some wine. She really looked damn cute when she wasn't trying to.
Ten minutes later, the bottle was empty and it was time for him to leave. Ji Won walked him to the door and when he reached over for the door handle, she stretched her arm out to give him a half-hug. "Thanks for today. I had such a great time." She was feeling refreshed and ready to return to her life.
"Me too," he said, returning the hug and holding her lightly as she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.
When they were done, with the imprint of the minor skin contact still on his mind, he reached down and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Good night."
She smiled and after about five seconds of staring into his eyes, reached up and gave him another kiss on the cheek. "Sweet dreams."
Then their eyes met and after reading what the other was thinking, so did their lips.
Before either even knew what was happening, Ji Won's arms were around his neck with Shin fingers in her hair and the other hand lightly running down her spine as they kissed with increasing urgency. Kissing him was nice but strange. He didn't appear to have Joon Young's fetish for her lower lip so it had been so long since she'd really kissed anyone without feeling little bites. He kissed her deeper and she returned in kind, pressing her lips against his as her tongue rolled over his.
As they moved further into the room, her hands traveled to his body and relieved him of his coat. Then her fingers went to work on his buttons, opening his shirt so that she could run her fingers over his bare chest. He liked the feel of her soft fingers on his skin so he took his hands off her for a brief moment to rid himself completely of his shirt. Then almost as quickly, his hands were back on her, exploring the small of her back through the sheer fabric.
They walked and kissed hard, barely stopping to breathe and as his tongue swirled in her mouth, they collapsed on the bed with his body on hers.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, breaking away for a second.
Without bothering to respond, Ji Won reached up and kissed him again. Who had time to talk? She was enjoying herself far too much. She reached behind him, her nails digging into his flesh till she found the waist of his pants. They kissed again for a few more minutes, their bodies pressed firmly together till he broke from her lips and let his tongue and lips travel down her face to her chin then from her chin to her neck. Her neck was one of her sensitive spots so she let out a soft moan as he teased it. Pleased with her response, he tasted and kissed her skin, journeying from her neck and inching down her shoulder, pushing down her dress strap in the process.
***
Shin had been fast asleep till he was awoken by strange voices.
"Sir. Sir."
He opened his eyes to see two cleaning ladies looking down at him. They were looking at him strangely and when he looked down and saw that the white sheet on him was barely doing its job, he quickly figured out why. He reached down, strategically placed the sheet on himself then turned back to them. "May I help you?"
"It's time for us to clean," the younger one said impatiently.
Granted, they hadn't put out a 'Do Not Disturb' sign but couldn't these women clearly see that they weren't supposed to be disturbed? He smiled as the events of the previous night slowly came to him but when his eyes swept the room, not only was it clear that Ji Won wasn't lying next to him, the open suitcase he'd seen the previous night was no longer by the desk chair nor was her denim jacket still hanging in closet. After taking a careful look around the room, he saw nothing that looked like it wasn't owned by the hotel.
"Where's she? Where's Alex?" he asked the maids stupidly. He felt his anger rise as the situation became clear.
"Sir, this room has already been checked out and because it's already past noon, we have to clean it for the next guest. If you're not paying for an extra night, you need to leave now."
"Feeling better?" Shin asked. They hadn't spoken for a while but he could already sense a change in her.
She nodded. "Yes, thank you. This was a good idea." She shut her eyes and breathed in the cool air.
"So what's your story?" He sat up and looked down at her. "I know the whole chef tale is bogus."
"You do?" she replied, still lying down and looking into the exceptionally clear sky. She wouldn't have minded dying if that view was the last thing she got to see.
"Yes. It's pretty obvious you're lying. So what's the deal? Why are you here alone?"
She sighed. "I guess I came to find myself."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that I came to find myself." After a moment of silence she said, "How old are you?"
"Talk about changing the topic." He laid back down beside her. "Why do you ask?"
"I'm just curious. How old are you?"
"Thirty-one."
She tossed the figure around in her mind. She'd not been too far off although she'd expected him to be a few years younger. "And why are you here alone?"
"I just worked on two projects back to back and apparently, I needed a well deserved break. I'll be starting on a new one the second I return to Seoul." He ran his fingers through some wisps of grass. "In fact, I'd planned this as a working holiday so I should have started by now."
She looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Really?" A working holiday? "What do you do?"
He cleared his throat. "Aren't you a little too curious for someone who refuses to share anything about herself?"
"Okay." She rolled to her side to reach for her packet of chips. "Be like that," she said as she rolled back on her back. "If you don't want to tell me, then I don't have to know." A cool breeze passed, blowing her hair onto her face. "But I must say that it was a good idea coming here – it is exactly what I needed."
"I figured. It's something I've been doing for almost all my life."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. We didn't have a lot of money growing up so when I was hungry, I used to go up to a little hill not too far from our house and just lie and breathe in the fresh air. Lying there, listening to all the sounds of nature, I'd come up with all these little stories about why the wind was blowing the tree in this direction or what the queen ant was thinking as she walked home and in the end, I'd get so involved in my fantasies that I'd forget about my hunger."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But it's funny because one day, I just walked a little further than I normally did and came across some wild berries so I guess that was another reason to go up there when I was hungry." He chuckled, vaguely remembering how happy he'd been to find them. "But now, even though I have some money, I still love hiking up hills to clear my mind. I guess it still gets all my juices flowing."
Ji Won felt a little sad listening to his tale. Then she scrunched her nose. "Hey, are you making stuff up again? Hiking to forget hunger?" she scoffed.
Shin smiled but didn't say anything.
***
"Yah! What are you scared of?" Ji Won yelled from the lagoon. After snorkeling, the group had changed venue and were now swimming with dolphins. Almost everyone but a British couple and Shin were in the water. It was barely a full day since their hike and now that she no longer cared about having a fling, she was having a great time. Even though she sometimes found her mind wandering over to her dashed wedding plans, she'd look around and after drinking in the beauty that was Aruba, she'd quickly shake it out of her mind. "Can't you see those kids in the water?" she said, pointing at another group at their location. "If primary school students can get in, why not you?"
Logically, he realized that dolphins were peaceful, loving animals but what if one of them decided to go nuts and attack everyone? Even if it was only a minute chance, he had no intentions of testing fate. Besides, what's so special about swimming with overgrown fish?
A dolphin swam up to Ji Won and poked her in the cheek. She smiled and stroked its head. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? This is like the cutest thing. Can't you see its face?" she kissed it then swam under to stroke its belly.
When she swam up, she noticed that Shin was sitting down looking bored. She was very grateful for the role he'd played in helping her get back to her normal self and wanted him to have as much fun as she was. Even if he didn't swim with the dolphins, he could still enjoy the cool water.
She waved at the British couple who were laughing and watching their friends swim. "Hello? Hello?!" she yelled in an attempt to catch their attention.
Almost everyone looked at her but after gesturing enough times, the couple figured out that she was talking to them. "Excuse me?" the wife said.
She smiled and pointed at Shin. "Push!"
Shin stood up and walked towards the edge of the lagoon. "What are you doing?"
She ignored him and kept yelling at the couple to push him in till they understood what she meant and did just that.
***
"Wow, you really look quite gorgeous," Shin commented as they walked towards the elevators.
"And so do you."
He'd suggested that they visit an upscale club a friend of his had recommended so she'd slipped into a black spaghetti-strapped slip dress that hugged her in all the right places and didn't in the wrong. She'd dubbed it her 'Eff-Me Dress' when she'd seen it in the store, purchasing it solely to drive Joon Young crazy. But since he'd readily passed up on the opportunity, she didn't see a reason to let it go to waste. She'd left her hair to fall freely on her back and had expertly applied her make up to emphasize her eyes and softly highlight her lips. She felt and looked good and was planning on having the time of her life. It was her last day in Aruba and she was going to end her vacation with a bang.
Shin, for his part, also looked pretty great as well. He was wearing black slacks, a baby blue shirt and a black sports jacket. He'd pulled his hair in a ponytail, emphasizing his cheekbones and even she had to admit that he cleaned up pretty well.
"We're probably going to be the best looking couple there," she joked as they waited for the elevators to arrive.
"I'm quite sure we will," he replied, trying his best not to look at her ass. How come she hadn't looked that good a few days ago?
***
"I want to do that," Ji Won said, watching a few Salsa dancers teach some of the guests some steps.
He shook his head. "No, let's leave the experts to that."
"How can we come to a Salsa bar and not dance? It makes no sense."
They'd just left the restaurant section having spent almost two hours eating and were now at a table nursing some drinks. It had been a pleasant evening and even though they still hadn't shared much about their personal lives, there hadn't been an awkward moment.
"That guy has a cute butt, doesn't he?" she asked, looking at the lead dancer's ass. It was round and pert and she wondered what would happen if she threw a quarter at it.
Shin didn't bother looking. "I wouldn't know."
She rolled her eyes. "You mean to say that just because you're a guy, you can't tell when another guy's butt is cute?"
He raised his brow. "Where are you going with this?"
She laughed. "Don't mind me," she said as she watched the dancer's cheeks move with every step he made.
Shin observed her as she smiled, noticing the slight dimple that appeared whenever she made half smiles. Was it wrong that he now kind of liked her? Would it be wrong to want to keep in touch with her after their vacation ended? "So what are we doing tomorrow?"
Ji Won darted her eyes to him then quickly looked back at the dance floor. "Whatever the group is doing, I suppose." She still hadn't told him that it was her last night.
"We've already been hang gliding, snorkeling, even sailing. Maybe we should do our own thing tomorrow."
"Okay. Hey," she said, standing up. She grabbed his hand and tugged it. "Let's go and dance."
***
"Left, left, right right," Ji Won murmured, trying to remember the steps.
"Actually, I think it's: Left, left, left, right right." He did the steps to the beat.
The dance lessons had ended and now, everyone was just trying to dance to the music. They were holding hands and doing their best to move like the dancers they'd watched only a few minutes earlier.
"This sucks," Ji Won said, resting her legs. "How come I can't remember anything? You saw me doing it with the teacher, didn't you? I was getting it, wasn't I?"
Shin nodded. He was far too amused at how frustrated she was getting. "Forget about the steps. How about we just do whatever?"
"Yeah," she said, dropping his hand. It wasn't like she had any other choices, anyway. Then she put both of her palms on his chest and beat it repeatedly. "Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhythm!" she chanted.
Shin grabbed her hands to stop them then looked at her incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?"
She pushed her head back and laughed boisterously. "Don't mind me. It's from a movie. Pase doble!" she yelled before stomping her foot. Then she laughed some more. "Okay, okay, let me be a bit more serious here." She stepped back and swayed her hips. "What do you think? Does it look authentic?" She put one arm up and rotated her hand in a salsa stance.
He nodded. "Looks good enough to me." Her pose only served to emphasize her curves more.
"Good." She put one hand on his shoulder and whined her waist to the beat of the song. Shin moved in step and they spent the next few hours drinking, dancing and laughing at each other's dance moves.
***
"Oh my God I had such a good time!" Ji Won exclaimed as they walked to her room. She held up the bottle of wine they'd won as the 'Most Improved Couple' and smiled at him. "Feel like a glass?"
Even though it was pretty late as they'd stayed at the bar till closing, he really wasn't ready to leave her yet. "Just a little glass."
She nodded and opened her hotel room door.
Ten minutes later, they were sitting in her room having their second glasses of wine.
Ji Won put her half empty glass on the nightstand and ran her hand through her hair. "Aruba is great. I have to come back again sometime. I feel there's still a lot of stuff left for me to see."
He laughed at how alive and content she looked. "You've certainly changed. You look nothing like you did the first time I saw you having breakfast alone."
She shook her head as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. "Yes, it was awful but let's not talk about it, aye?"
He chuckled. "I wont," he said as he sipped some wine. She really looked damn cute when she wasn't trying to.
Ten minutes later, the bottle was empty and it was time for him to leave. Ji Won walked him to the door and when he reached over for the door handle, she stretched her arm out to give him a half-hug. "Thanks for today. I had such a great time." She was feeling refreshed and ready to return to her life.
"Me too," he said, returning the hug and holding her lightly as she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.
When they were done, with the imprint of the minor skin contact still on his mind, he reached down and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Good night."
She smiled and after about five seconds of staring into his eyes, reached up and gave him another kiss on the cheek. "Sweet dreams."
Then their eyes met and after reading what the other was thinking, so did their lips.
Before either even knew what was happening, Ji Won's arms were around his neck with Shin fingers in her hair and the other hand lightly running down her spine as they kissed with increasing urgency. Kissing him was nice but strange. He didn't appear to have Joon Young's fetish for her lower lip so it had been so long since she'd really kissed anyone without feeling little bites. He kissed her deeper and she returned in kind, pressing her lips against his as her tongue rolled over his.
As they moved further into the room, her hands traveled to his body and relieved him of his coat. Then her fingers went to work on his buttons, opening his shirt so that she could run her fingers over his bare chest. He liked the feel of her soft fingers on his skin so he took his hands off her for a brief moment to rid himself completely of his shirt. Then almost as quickly, his hands were back on her, exploring the small of her back through the sheer fabric.
They walked and kissed hard, barely stopping to breathe and as his tongue swirled in her mouth, they collapsed on the bed with his body on hers.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, breaking away for a second.
Without bothering to respond, Ji Won reached up and kissed him again. Who had time to talk? She was enjoying herself far too much. She reached behind him, her nails digging into his flesh till she found the waist of his pants. They kissed again for a few more minutes, their bodies pressed firmly together till he broke from her lips and let his tongue and lips travel down her face to her chin then from her chin to her neck. Her neck was one of her sensitive spots so she let out a soft moan as he teased it. Pleased with her response, he tasted and kissed her skin, journeying from her neck and inching down her shoulder, pushing down her dress strap in the process.
***
Shin had been fast asleep till he was awoken by strange voices.
"Sir. Sir."
He opened his eyes to see two cleaning ladies looking down at him. They were looking at him strangely and when he looked down and saw that the white sheet on him was barely doing its job, he quickly figured out why. He reached down, strategically placed the sheet on himself then turned back to them. "May I help you?"
"It's time for us to clean," the younger one said impatiently.
Granted, they hadn't put out a 'Do Not Disturb' sign but couldn't these women clearly see that they weren't supposed to be disturbed? He smiled as the events of the previous night slowly came to him but when his eyes swept the room, not only was it clear that Ji Won wasn't lying next to him, the open suitcase he'd seen the previous night was no longer by the desk chair nor was her denim jacket still hanging in closet. After taking a careful look around the room, he saw nothing that looked like it wasn't owned by the hotel.
"Where's she? Where's Alex?" he asked the maids stupidly. He felt his anger rise as the situation became clear.
"Sir, this room has already been checked out and because it's already past noon, we have to clean it for the next guest. If you're not paying for an extra night, you need to leave now."
Chapter 9
Welcome home," the Customs Officer said as he stamped Ji Won's passport.
"Thank you," she replied, grinning as she retrieved it from him then stepped out of the line. It had been a wild week but she could honestly say that she'd returned a different woman. It was just sex and he was just a guy but still it was something she'd never have done in Seoul. She already knew that it was a secret she was going to carry to her grave and it felt nice to have done something no one would ever expect. And if she ever got back with Joon Young, it was something she'd never admit to. Maybe she'd consider it her own private revenge for what he'd done to her.
She felt a twinge of guilt as she joined the line of people lugging their luggage and heading out of the airport. She'd contemplated leaving a note for Shin before leaving her hotel room but had decided against it because it made her feel a little cheap. Given that the sex was their first together, after getting over the awkwardness of trying to find a natural rhythm together, it had been nice enough. It wasn't like it was sex that she wouldn't write home about, but it wouldn't be the longest, most glowing letter ever.
She walked through the door into the arrivals section and thirty seconds later, she heard someone call her name. She followed the direction of the sound then grinned widely when she saw her family and friends waving at her. From the way they were screaming and jumping, she was sure at least one passerby would mistake her for a celebrity. She lifted her bag and ran towards them. Then she dropped her bag and reached across the barricade between her and her mother. "Umma! I've missed you so much!" she said, hugging her tightly.
Her mother hugged her back and sighed in relief. Even though she didn't show it, it had been the worst week of her life. She'd tried to convince herself not to worry because she trusted her oldest daughter to take care of herself but maternal instincts prevailed and she barely had a good night's sleep. "You are looking so well, my dear daughter," she said, tightening her hold on her.
Ji Won separated from her then smiled at her. Unless she was seeing things, it appeared that her mother had aged since she last saw her. Had she really caused her that much stress? She hugged her one more time then went along to hug everyone else.
"Do you plan to come over to this side at some point?" Kyung Ho asked, pointing at the barricade. "If we don't leave soon, I think they might tow my car."
"Stop trying to act so tough. I'm sure you've been crying because of how much you missed me."
Ji Won didn't get to hear his response because he was interrupted by the sound of someone else calling her name.
***
Ji Won, along with the rest of her family turned in the direction of the voice. It was a no-brainer that he'd know when her flight was arriving, after all, she hadn't changed the itinerary. But she still hadn't expected to see him so soon.
"Hey…," he said as his voice trailed off. He knew he'd done a cruel thing so he braced himself for some unpleasantness. So he sighed in relief when all she did was hiss, turn around and walk away. If it didn't get any worse than that, he knew he'd get her back in no time.
Joon Young dashed through the throng of people to catch up with her. Yes, he'd been silly and even though they'd been together for so long, he'd known that he wasn't ready to get married and that that had no bearing on how he felt about her. He was still in love with her.
After being together for three years, she'd begun to hint about their future together and when he couldn't come up with any real reason why they shouldn't get married, he'd proposed. He didn't want to make any excuses but the truth was he'd succumbed to the pressure. If she wasn't hinting about it, his parents were asking him directly, warning that they didn't want any of their grandchildren born out of wedlock or even less than nine months after their parents' wedding.
Throughout their engagement, he'd tried to be enthused about the wedding, attempting to psyche himself out of his fear but at the last minute, when push came to shove, he couldn't go through with it. He should never have proposed and he regretted that he hadn't been smart enough to do something before it got too late.
He'd spent the past week hating himself, wishing that he were a different man but what could he really do? It wasn't like he could undo the past. All he needed to do was remind her that they were still in love so that she wouldn't leave him. She'd had her fun in Aruba and now it was time for them to get back together.
"I should have called you," he said, catching up with her and grabbing onto her hand. "I'm so sorry. I should have called you."
Ji Won looked at his hand like it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. "Take that off me!" For some reason, seeing him apologizing the way he normally did made her blood boil. Surely, this required more than a freaking 'sorry,' didn't it?
"Ji Won ah, please, don't do this. I still love you. Please listen to me. I love you."
She knew that she couldn't care what he said but she did anyway. She folded her arms and turned to him. "Really?"
"Get the fu.ck out of here!" Kyung Ho, one of her bestfriends said from behind her.
Ji Won looked around and saw her family looking back at them. Her heart was beating in anticipation and her head was spinning with a thousand emotions so for a split second, she'd forgotten that they weren't alone.
"Ji W—"
"Are you fu.cking deaf?" Kyung Ho snarled. "Get the hell out of here. No one wants to see you."
Ji Won turned to him and shook her head. She was touched by his reaction to the scene unfolding but she really wanted to hear what Joon Young had to say. "Let him speak."
Encouraged, Joon Young took her hand. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake the warmth that came with experiencing the familiarity of his skin on hers. "What?" She wanted to be dramatic and shake his hand off but she just didn't have it in her. The truth was that she still loved him.
"I'm sorry."
She stared at him, waiting for him to say something more but he didn't. Instead, he just looked apologetically at her. Disgusted that he wasn't putting more of an effort into his apology, she slapped his hand of hers. How could he believe that was all it took to tame her anger? "Is that all you have to say?" she asked, not bothering to hide her venom.
He shook his head vehemently. "Of course not. Let's go somewhere else. What can I say with your entire family glaring at me?"
"You care about that? You surely didn't think of the hundreds of eyes that would stare at me after you left me at the altar! If you have anything else to say, say it now or just forget about it!"
He sighed and looked down. How could he convince her with her cheerleaders listening to every word? He fell to his knees and bowed his head. "Please forgive me. I love you and I miss you. This past week has been hell. Please forgive me."
Ji Won felt some of the ice she had in her heart melt slowly. "What do you want me to forgive you for?"
"For being so thoughtless. For being so cruel. I just felt so overwhelmed that all I could do was run. I still love you, Ji Won ah. I will always love you. You know you own my heart, right? There's no one else for me. You're it, Babe."
She smiled despite herself. "But you don't want to marry me?"
"Of course I do," he said, hoping that if they did get married in the future, he'd be ready by then. And even if he wasn't, he'd get married anyway. He couldn't repeat this mistake. He didn't want to lose her. "Let's plan another wedding. Maybe something a lot smaller. Just you and me and some of our family."
"I won't be there," her sister interjected. It annoyed her to see her older sister yield so easily to that ass.hole. What the hell? Couldn't she tell that he was a manipulative jerk using sweet words to con his way out of facing the consequences of his actions?
"Neither would I," Kyung Ho said. Then pretty much the rest of cheerleading squad relayed similar sentiments. Ji Won looked over at her mother and all the older lady did was smile grimly back at her.
She turned back to Joon Young. "Let me just go home now. We can talk again later."
***
Ji Won walked into her apartment, slammed the door behind her, dropped her luggage by the door then threw her keys into the key drawer. It sure felt nice to be back. It was obvious that had mother had been to her place because all the stuff she'd left in the hotel room was placed neatly by the dinning table. She was about to bend down to pick up one of the bags when she noticed her engagement ring on the dinning table. She picked it up and played with it with the tips of fingers. The ring mark hadn't yet faded but seeing the ring made her remember the fateful day he'd placed it on her finger. Then she put it on and admired her hand. She sighed. Why did it have to make her hand look so pretty?
The light on her answering machine was blinking out of control so she decided it was as good a time as any to listen to her numerous messages. She hit the button and as the messages played, walked over to her refrigerator to find something to drink. After a few nervous calls from friends expressing their sympathy and extending their wishes, she heard Joon Young's voice come on.
"Hey, Baby. Where are you? I went to the hotel to find you but they said you'd checked out. Where are you?"
The next one from him came two messages later.
"Honey, I called your mom and she said that you're not there. Are you at home? I'm at the door but you're not opening. Where are you? Sh.it," she heard him swear. "Why the fu.ck did I lose my key? Open the door."
The next one went, "I'm so sorry. Please. I'm so sorry. You can hit me all you want. You can scream at me all you want and I won't say anything. You have the right to do whatever you want with me. But you need to open the door to be able to do this. So open the door."
Even though she'd poured herself a glass of soda, she'd yet to take a sip. She felt her heart melting despite herself. She sighed. He really did sound sorry.
After a few more messages from him, with her heart shaking uncontrollably, wondering if she really could give him a second chance, another message from him came on.
"What the fu.ck is your problem? I'm apologizing here. Can't you hear me? Open the fu.cking door!"
The next one went like, "Okay, you don't want to talk to me. Fine. I don't need you. I can't believe how selfish you're being. How long do you want me to spend out here waiting for you? It started raining and you didn't even come out to get me. When did you become so heartless? Okay, forget about it. It's a good thing we didn't get married. I don't even know who you are! Just return my ring! You don't deserve it. It's a family heirloom and there's no reason for you to keep it. So just send it in the mail!" he said before hanging up.
Ji Won hissed and shook her head. And to think that she'd even thought of forgiving him. Was he insane? Why did he feel entitled to her forgiveness? She pulled the ring off her hand and put it back where her mother had left it. Yeah, it was her fault. If she'd never made it clear to him that she loved him so much that she was willing to forgive him anything, he would have thought twice before leaving such a nasty message. And to top it off, he'd lied! Because as far as she knew, he bought that Tiffany ring during a business trip. She still loved him, after all, love didn't have an off switch one could use whenever they needed it but she was certain that she'd never be with him again.
So a few messages later, when Joon Young called to apologize, stating that her mother had informed him that she'd gone on their honeymoon, she didn't give a sh.it. As far as she cared, they were ancient history.
***
Seven months later…
"I'm so happy you still have time to hang out with an old man like myself," Joon Young's father said to Ji Won as they walked into a store.
"Abonim, I will always have time for an old man like you," she replied, grinning at him.
"Oh, you're calling me an old man?" He frowned, pretending to be annoyed.
She laughed then linked her arm with his. "Yes, but I like old men like you."
Most girls usually buttered up to their prospective mothers-in-law but it was different for her. For some reason, she always got along really well with guys and apparently, that extended to fathers as well. Shortly after Joon Young had introduced her to his parents, she and his father realized that they worked a few blocks apart and somehow fell into having lunch or hanging out together.
He enjoyed talking to her because she'd never been intimated by him and always spoke freely, and something about how she treated him made him feel young again. For her part, Ji Won had initially befriending him to kiss his a.ss but it didn't take long for her to like him independent of his relationship to her boyfriend. She enjoyed that he loved to gossip and always treated her like an equal. His so-called fatherly advice was kept to a minimum and for that she was truly grateful.
"So what do you think of that?" he asked, pointing at a diamond tennis bracelet. They were meeting to pick out a gift for his wife.
She sighed. "Thirty years of marriage. Wow, I can't even imagine that," she said as she bent over the counter to take a closer look. "Agashi," she said to the salesgirl, "can you bring that one out so that we can look at it closely?"
Joon Young's father watched as she waited for the lady to unlock the case. He was still yet to get over the fiasco with her botched marriage. His son had always been very calculating and thorough when it came to making big decisions so he'd been very shocked when he just hadn't shown up for the wedding.
Even though he understood that Ji Won couldn't forgive him, he held onto the hope that one day, she'd come around. Even though he really liked her as a friend, he really wanted her as a daughter-in-law. From all the girls he'd met in his life, he'd never met anyone else that suited his son so well. They were a perfect match and it always amazed him at how easily young people destroyed valuable things.
"Here you are, Ajusshi," the shop lady said, handing it to him.
They held onto the bracelet and watched it gleam in the light. "It's pretty shiny, don't you think?" he asked. "Does it look like something Joon Young's mother will like? Oh, speaking of which, have you given that foolish boy his ring back, yet? I still can't believe that he tried to pretend that it was a family heirloom. Whose family? Stupid boy."
"No, Abonim," she said, shaking her head. "He calls occasionally and no matter what we talk about, he ends up trying to get it back. Sometimes, I just want to give it back to him so he can leave me alone but other times, I feel that he doesn't deserve it."
"I understand," he said, nodding. And from what he could see, the ring was the only thing left that linked them together. "Keep holding onto it and never give it back." And maybe one day, there'd be no need to.
***
My great-grandmother and her friends were the only people I saw in my first few years on earth so it wasn't till years later that I realized that she must have been quite old. She had increasingly graying hair that she loved to hide in a bun. Her face was heavily lined and her nose round and often red. She walked slowly, constantly complaining that she was old and that I was sending her to an early grave but I always knew she was joking because whenever her friends came around, she'd straighten her back and walk twice as fast as I did. She was small, nimble and I still haven't met any woman so beautiful.
Our daily routine was quite simple. When she woke up, I'd join her for our daily prayers and shortly after, while she was boiling her medicine, I'd go around back for my bath. After my bath, I'd join her in making breakfast and after eating, we'd go to her plot and try to get some work done.
So this morning began like every other, but instead of getting dressed to go out to work on her land, she threw a pencil and writing pad in front of me. "Take them."
"Halmoni, what is this?" I asked. I'd never been one of those children who'd spent their time doodling all over their exercise books especially as my great-grandmother had made it clear that all her paper was reserved for the precious letters she wrote every week. At least a hundred sheets of paper for me? I couldn't believe it.
"Pil Suh," she said, roughening my hair before sitting next to me. "I cannot pretend to be an educated woman, but take them. From today on, I will teach you everything I know."
And that was how my reading lessons began.
Ji Won looked up from the manuscript in her hand. This was going to be an interesting project. A well known author of goth-detective novels was writing a memoir and she'd gotten the chance to work as the first editor. In some ways, it was a step down for her because she normally edited alone. In addtion, first editors generally did most of the work while receiving little credit. But because he was supposedly famous, she realized that this wasn't an opportunity to let slip through her fingers. If she did a good job, it would undoubtedly open doors for her to work in a different side of book publishing. Besides, it was a nice change from her usual self-help projects.
Another exciting aspect of this was that the novelist was a well known recluse who refused to make public appearances despite his success, so it was quite exciting to work on what sometimes felt like an undercover job. She'd picked up one of his bestselling novels to get a better sense of his writing and personality and although it was well written, she hadn't been able to read it through. She just wasn't a goth type of girl. But on the other hand, although she'd only received one chapter of his memoir, she could already tell that it was going to be a fascinating story.
She glanced at her watch and saw that it was about time Yoon Pil Suh joined her and when she saw one of the hostesses leading two men of varying heights and builds towards her, she sat up in her seat. The shorter man looked older and quite round and even though she couldn't see the taller man's face, she could already tell that he was younger. They were both dressed in suits with no ties but the taller man's black suit was cut in a way that accentuated his toned build. He had the trendy, short haircut that young actors were sporting these days and there was something undeniably sexy about him. It was quite unethical for an editor to get involved with her writer but judging from the looks of her last few writers, she was pretty much sure that he was the agent she'd barely see while the shorter man was the one she'd spend hundreds of hours with. Which suited her fine. After all, she wasn't quite ready to date any men yet.
As they got closer to her table, she stood up to greet them. She took one quick glance at her folder to read their names: Yoon Pil Suh and his agent, Jo Jin Mo. She giggled to herself. His name really was Pil Suh, wasn't it? she thought. Poor guy. Then she kept the smile on her face and looked up at them.
"Ma'am, your party has arrived," the hostess said before turning back around.
"Thank you." She beamed at the two men and stretched her hand out. "Hello, I'm Na Ji Won and I'll be the first editor on this project." She shook the shorter man's hand then stretched her hand out to the taller man. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. Even though I've only read one chapter, I already anticipate enjoying working with you. I must admit that I think this will be a fruitful project for all of us."
The guy took her hand but instead of shaking it, just held it.
Confused by his action, Ji Won looked up into his eyes.
"Hello Alex. Nice to meet you again," he said icily. "It's been a while."
Her eyes widened as recognition hit. "Shin?"
"Thank you," she replied, grinning as she retrieved it from him then stepped out of the line. It had been a wild week but she could honestly say that she'd returned a different woman. It was just sex and he was just a guy but still it was something she'd never have done in Seoul. She already knew that it was a secret she was going to carry to her grave and it felt nice to have done something no one would ever expect. And if she ever got back with Joon Young, it was something she'd never admit to. Maybe she'd consider it her own private revenge for what he'd done to her.
She felt a twinge of guilt as she joined the line of people lugging their luggage and heading out of the airport. She'd contemplated leaving a note for Shin before leaving her hotel room but had decided against it because it made her feel a little cheap. Given that the sex was their first together, after getting over the awkwardness of trying to find a natural rhythm together, it had been nice enough. It wasn't like it was sex that she wouldn't write home about, but it wouldn't be the longest, most glowing letter ever.
She walked through the door into the arrivals section and thirty seconds later, she heard someone call her name. She followed the direction of the sound then grinned widely when she saw her family and friends waving at her. From the way they were screaming and jumping, she was sure at least one passerby would mistake her for a celebrity. She lifted her bag and ran towards them. Then she dropped her bag and reached across the barricade between her and her mother. "Umma! I've missed you so much!" she said, hugging her tightly.
Her mother hugged her back and sighed in relief. Even though she didn't show it, it had been the worst week of her life. She'd tried to convince herself not to worry because she trusted her oldest daughter to take care of herself but maternal instincts prevailed and she barely had a good night's sleep. "You are looking so well, my dear daughter," she said, tightening her hold on her.
Ji Won separated from her then smiled at her. Unless she was seeing things, it appeared that her mother had aged since she last saw her. Had she really caused her that much stress? She hugged her one more time then went along to hug everyone else.
"Do you plan to come over to this side at some point?" Kyung Ho asked, pointing at the barricade. "If we don't leave soon, I think they might tow my car."
"Stop trying to act so tough. I'm sure you've been crying because of how much you missed me."
Ji Won didn't get to hear his response because he was interrupted by the sound of someone else calling her name.
***
Ji Won, along with the rest of her family turned in the direction of the voice. It was a no-brainer that he'd know when her flight was arriving, after all, she hadn't changed the itinerary. But she still hadn't expected to see him so soon.
"Hey…," he said as his voice trailed off. He knew he'd done a cruel thing so he braced himself for some unpleasantness. So he sighed in relief when all she did was hiss, turn around and walk away. If it didn't get any worse than that, he knew he'd get her back in no time.
Joon Young dashed through the throng of people to catch up with her. Yes, he'd been silly and even though they'd been together for so long, he'd known that he wasn't ready to get married and that that had no bearing on how he felt about her. He was still in love with her.
After being together for three years, she'd begun to hint about their future together and when he couldn't come up with any real reason why they shouldn't get married, he'd proposed. He didn't want to make any excuses but the truth was he'd succumbed to the pressure. If she wasn't hinting about it, his parents were asking him directly, warning that they didn't want any of their grandchildren born out of wedlock or even less than nine months after their parents' wedding.
Throughout their engagement, he'd tried to be enthused about the wedding, attempting to psyche himself out of his fear but at the last minute, when push came to shove, he couldn't go through with it. He should never have proposed and he regretted that he hadn't been smart enough to do something before it got too late.
He'd spent the past week hating himself, wishing that he were a different man but what could he really do? It wasn't like he could undo the past. All he needed to do was remind her that they were still in love so that she wouldn't leave him. She'd had her fun in Aruba and now it was time for them to get back together.
"I should have called you," he said, catching up with her and grabbing onto her hand. "I'm so sorry. I should have called you."
Ji Won looked at his hand like it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. "Take that off me!" For some reason, seeing him apologizing the way he normally did made her blood boil. Surely, this required more than a freaking 'sorry,' didn't it?
"Ji Won ah, please, don't do this. I still love you. Please listen to me. I love you."
She knew that she couldn't care what he said but she did anyway. She folded her arms and turned to him. "Really?"
"Get the fu.ck out of here!" Kyung Ho, one of her bestfriends said from behind her.
Ji Won looked around and saw her family looking back at them. Her heart was beating in anticipation and her head was spinning with a thousand emotions so for a split second, she'd forgotten that they weren't alone.
"Ji W—"
"Are you fu.cking deaf?" Kyung Ho snarled. "Get the hell out of here. No one wants to see you."
Ji Won turned to him and shook her head. She was touched by his reaction to the scene unfolding but she really wanted to hear what Joon Young had to say. "Let him speak."
Encouraged, Joon Young took her hand. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake the warmth that came with experiencing the familiarity of his skin on hers. "What?" She wanted to be dramatic and shake his hand off but she just didn't have it in her. The truth was that she still loved him.
"I'm sorry."
She stared at him, waiting for him to say something more but he didn't. Instead, he just looked apologetically at her. Disgusted that he wasn't putting more of an effort into his apology, she slapped his hand of hers. How could he believe that was all it took to tame her anger? "Is that all you have to say?" she asked, not bothering to hide her venom.
He shook his head vehemently. "Of course not. Let's go somewhere else. What can I say with your entire family glaring at me?"
"You care about that? You surely didn't think of the hundreds of eyes that would stare at me after you left me at the altar! If you have anything else to say, say it now or just forget about it!"
He sighed and looked down. How could he convince her with her cheerleaders listening to every word? He fell to his knees and bowed his head. "Please forgive me. I love you and I miss you. This past week has been hell. Please forgive me."
Ji Won felt some of the ice she had in her heart melt slowly. "What do you want me to forgive you for?"
"For being so thoughtless. For being so cruel. I just felt so overwhelmed that all I could do was run. I still love you, Ji Won ah. I will always love you. You know you own my heart, right? There's no one else for me. You're it, Babe."
She smiled despite herself. "But you don't want to marry me?"
"Of course I do," he said, hoping that if they did get married in the future, he'd be ready by then. And even if he wasn't, he'd get married anyway. He couldn't repeat this mistake. He didn't want to lose her. "Let's plan another wedding. Maybe something a lot smaller. Just you and me and some of our family."
"I won't be there," her sister interjected. It annoyed her to see her older sister yield so easily to that ass.hole. What the hell? Couldn't she tell that he was a manipulative jerk using sweet words to con his way out of facing the consequences of his actions?
"Neither would I," Kyung Ho said. Then pretty much the rest of cheerleading squad relayed similar sentiments. Ji Won looked over at her mother and all the older lady did was smile grimly back at her.
She turned back to Joon Young. "Let me just go home now. We can talk again later."
***
Ji Won walked into her apartment, slammed the door behind her, dropped her luggage by the door then threw her keys into the key drawer. It sure felt nice to be back. It was obvious that had mother had been to her place because all the stuff she'd left in the hotel room was placed neatly by the dinning table. She was about to bend down to pick up one of the bags when she noticed her engagement ring on the dinning table. She picked it up and played with it with the tips of fingers. The ring mark hadn't yet faded but seeing the ring made her remember the fateful day he'd placed it on her finger. Then she put it on and admired her hand. She sighed. Why did it have to make her hand look so pretty?
The light on her answering machine was blinking out of control so she decided it was as good a time as any to listen to her numerous messages. She hit the button and as the messages played, walked over to her refrigerator to find something to drink. After a few nervous calls from friends expressing their sympathy and extending their wishes, she heard Joon Young's voice come on.
"Hey, Baby. Where are you? I went to the hotel to find you but they said you'd checked out. Where are you?"
The next one from him came two messages later.
"Honey, I called your mom and she said that you're not there. Are you at home? I'm at the door but you're not opening. Where are you? Sh.it," she heard him swear. "Why the fu.ck did I lose my key? Open the door."
The next one went, "I'm so sorry. Please. I'm so sorry. You can hit me all you want. You can scream at me all you want and I won't say anything. You have the right to do whatever you want with me. But you need to open the door to be able to do this. So open the door."
Even though she'd poured herself a glass of soda, she'd yet to take a sip. She felt her heart melting despite herself. She sighed. He really did sound sorry.
After a few more messages from him, with her heart shaking uncontrollably, wondering if she really could give him a second chance, another message from him came on.
"What the fu.ck is your problem? I'm apologizing here. Can't you hear me? Open the fu.cking door!"
The next one went like, "Okay, you don't want to talk to me. Fine. I don't need you. I can't believe how selfish you're being. How long do you want me to spend out here waiting for you? It started raining and you didn't even come out to get me. When did you become so heartless? Okay, forget about it. It's a good thing we didn't get married. I don't even know who you are! Just return my ring! You don't deserve it. It's a family heirloom and there's no reason for you to keep it. So just send it in the mail!" he said before hanging up.
Ji Won hissed and shook her head. And to think that she'd even thought of forgiving him. Was he insane? Why did he feel entitled to her forgiveness? She pulled the ring off her hand and put it back where her mother had left it. Yeah, it was her fault. If she'd never made it clear to him that she loved him so much that she was willing to forgive him anything, he would have thought twice before leaving such a nasty message. And to top it off, he'd lied! Because as far as she knew, he bought that Tiffany ring during a business trip. She still loved him, after all, love didn't have an off switch one could use whenever they needed it but she was certain that she'd never be with him again.
So a few messages later, when Joon Young called to apologize, stating that her mother had informed him that she'd gone on their honeymoon, she didn't give a sh.it. As far as she cared, they were ancient history.
***
Seven months later…
"I'm so happy you still have time to hang out with an old man like myself," Joon Young's father said to Ji Won as they walked into a store.
"Abonim, I will always have time for an old man like you," she replied, grinning at him.
"Oh, you're calling me an old man?" He frowned, pretending to be annoyed.
She laughed then linked her arm with his. "Yes, but I like old men like you."
Most girls usually buttered up to their prospective mothers-in-law but it was different for her. For some reason, she always got along really well with guys and apparently, that extended to fathers as well. Shortly after Joon Young had introduced her to his parents, she and his father realized that they worked a few blocks apart and somehow fell into having lunch or hanging out together.
He enjoyed talking to her because she'd never been intimated by him and always spoke freely, and something about how she treated him made him feel young again. For her part, Ji Won had initially befriending him to kiss his a.ss but it didn't take long for her to like him independent of his relationship to her boyfriend. She enjoyed that he loved to gossip and always treated her like an equal. His so-called fatherly advice was kept to a minimum and for that she was truly grateful.
"So what do you think of that?" he asked, pointing at a diamond tennis bracelet. They were meeting to pick out a gift for his wife.
She sighed. "Thirty years of marriage. Wow, I can't even imagine that," she said as she bent over the counter to take a closer look. "Agashi," she said to the salesgirl, "can you bring that one out so that we can look at it closely?"
Joon Young's father watched as she waited for the lady to unlock the case. He was still yet to get over the fiasco with her botched marriage. His son had always been very calculating and thorough when it came to making big decisions so he'd been very shocked when he just hadn't shown up for the wedding.
Even though he understood that Ji Won couldn't forgive him, he held onto the hope that one day, she'd come around. Even though he really liked her as a friend, he really wanted her as a daughter-in-law. From all the girls he'd met in his life, he'd never met anyone else that suited his son so well. They were a perfect match and it always amazed him at how easily young people destroyed valuable things.
"Here you are, Ajusshi," the shop lady said, handing it to him.
They held onto the bracelet and watched it gleam in the light. "It's pretty shiny, don't you think?" he asked. "Does it look like something Joon Young's mother will like? Oh, speaking of which, have you given that foolish boy his ring back, yet? I still can't believe that he tried to pretend that it was a family heirloom. Whose family? Stupid boy."
"No, Abonim," she said, shaking her head. "He calls occasionally and no matter what we talk about, he ends up trying to get it back. Sometimes, I just want to give it back to him so he can leave me alone but other times, I feel that he doesn't deserve it."
"I understand," he said, nodding. And from what he could see, the ring was the only thing left that linked them together. "Keep holding onto it and never give it back." And maybe one day, there'd be no need to.
***
My great-grandmother and her friends were the only people I saw in my first few years on earth so it wasn't till years later that I realized that she must have been quite old. She had increasingly graying hair that she loved to hide in a bun. Her face was heavily lined and her nose round and often red. She walked slowly, constantly complaining that she was old and that I was sending her to an early grave but I always knew she was joking because whenever her friends came around, she'd straighten her back and walk twice as fast as I did. She was small, nimble and I still haven't met any woman so beautiful.
Our daily routine was quite simple. When she woke up, I'd join her for our daily prayers and shortly after, while she was boiling her medicine, I'd go around back for my bath. After my bath, I'd join her in making breakfast and after eating, we'd go to her plot and try to get some work done.
So this morning began like every other, but instead of getting dressed to go out to work on her land, she threw a pencil and writing pad in front of me. "Take them."
"Halmoni, what is this?" I asked. I'd never been one of those children who'd spent their time doodling all over their exercise books especially as my great-grandmother had made it clear that all her paper was reserved for the precious letters she wrote every week. At least a hundred sheets of paper for me? I couldn't believe it.
"Pil Suh," she said, roughening my hair before sitting next to me. "I cannot pretend to be an educated woman, but take them. From today on, I will teach you everything I know."
And that was how my reading lessons began.
Ji Won looked up from the manuscript in her hand. This was going to be an interesting project. A well known author of goth-detective novels was writing a memoir and she'd gotten the chance to work as the first editor. In some ways, it was a step down for her because she normally edited alone. In addtion, first editors generally did most of the work while receiving little credit. But because he was supposedly famous, she realized that this wasn't an opportunity to let slip through her fingers. If she did a good job, it would undoubtedly open doors for her to work in a different side of book publishing. Besides, it was a nice change from her usual self-help projects.
Another exciting aspect of this was that the novelist was a well known recluse who refused to make public appearances despite his success, so it was quite exciting to work on what sometimes felt like an undercover job. She'd picked up one of his bestselling novels to get a better sense of his writing and personality and although it was well written, she hadn't been able to read it through. She just wasn't a goth type of girl. But on the other hand, although she'd only received one chapter of his memoir, she could already tell that it was going to be a fascinating story.
She glanced at her watch and saw that it was about time Yoon Pil Suh joined her and when she saw one of the hostesses leading two men of varying heights and builds towards her, she sat up in her seat. The shorter man looked older and quite round and even though she couldn't see the taller man's face, she could already tell that he was younger. They were both dressed in suits with no ties but the taller man's black suit was cut in a way that accentuated his toned build. He had the trendy, short haircut that young actors were sporting these days and there was something undeniably sexy about him. It was quite unethical for an editor to get involved with her writer but judging from the looks of her last few writers, she was pretty much sure that he was the agent she'd barely see while the shorter man was the one she'd spend hundreds of hours with. Which suited her fine. After all, she wasn't quite ready to date any men yet.
As they got closer to her table, she stood up to greet them. She took one quick glance at her folder to read their names: Yoon Pil Suh and his agent, Jo Jin Mo. She giggled to herself. His name really was Pil Suh, wasn't it? she thought. Poor guy. Then she kept the smile on her face and looked up at them.
"Ma'am, your party has arrived," the hostess said before turning back around.
"Thank you." She beamed at the two men and stretched her hand out. "Hello, I'm Na Ji Won and I'll be the first editor on this project." She shook the shorter man's hand then stretched her hand out to the taller man. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. Even though I've only read one chapter, I already anticipate enjoying working with you. I must admit that I think this will be a fruitful project for all of us."
The guy took her hand but instead of shaking it, just held it.
Confused by his action, Ji Won looked up into his eyes.
"Hello Alex. Nice to meet you again," he said icily. "It's been a while."
Her eyes widened as recognition hit. "Shin?"
Chapter 10
"S-s-hin?" Ji Won repeated, before averting her eyes. He was looking at her so intently that she felt the heat rise within her. She quickly took her hand back and looked at both men. How the hell did this happen?
Jin Mo couldn't help but notice the tension between them. "Shin ah, you already know her?"
Ji Won took another glance at her folder and then back at them again. "Y-your name is Shin?" She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Why was she stammering like an idiot? "Were you brought to the right table? I'm supposed to be meeting Yoon Pil Suh and Jo Jin Mo."
"That's us!" Jin Mo said cheerfully.
Shin was irritated by the look of despair on her face. Wasn't she the one who'd bailed on him? Why did she look like a trapped animal trying to find the closest escape route?
"Why don't we sit?" Jin Mo suggested. The poor woman looked like she barely had any energy left to keep standing. He glanced at Shin and saw that he too was in a state of shock. It was one of those rare moments he regretted being unable to read minds.
"Yes, let's sit," Ji Won said before doing just that. She gulped down the cold glass of water hoping that the temperature would awaken her from this nightmare but when she put down the empty glass, she still found both men looking at her.
"You're Yoon Pil Suh, right?" she asked —no, begged—the shorter man. If there was any justice in this world, he just had to be. Of all the women in the world who had one night stands and flings with strange men, why would she have to be the one forced to work with him? Didn't she deserve a break?
Jin Mo started to shake his head when Shin said, "Yes. He's Pil Suh and I'm Jin Mo."
The older man's eyes darted to him then to Ji Won who was looking visibly relieved.
She smiled then pointed at the chairs, urging the men to sit then did the same. She took a deep breath then pasted her 'editor smile' back on her face. Yes, she had to remember why she was meeting them in the first place. She drummed her fingers over the folder on the table. "I'm still working on the first chapter but I already love your story," she said, leaning forward and smiling.
Shin looked away in disgust. Anyone looking at those lightly lined bright eyes wouldn't know that behind them lay a cold, heartless bit.ch. Someone who could easily sleep with a man and ditch him like he was yesterday's newspaper. Someone who wasn't even decent enough to leave a note so that the poor hapless man wouldn't be caught naked by strange women or make him wander around the hotel and later around Aruba, searching for her, sure that he hadn't imagined their connection and that she really hadn't only thought of him as a hit-and-run.
But there she was, her hair falling carelessly against her face, a slight dimple threatening to develop on her left cheek, smiling and talking to Jin Mo, looking sexy in dark jeans and a white shirt. Bit.ch.
"So this must be quite a project for you," he said, interrupting her mid-sentence.
She turned to him like it was a huge feat. She'd been trying to find a way of ignoring him while looking professional and in the last minute or so, she'd thought she'd found it. Not because she had anything against him and simply because she was embarrassed. Because the whole time she was talking to Jin Mo, she'd been reliving moments of sitting on a stranger, crying, with a condom wrapper in her hand. Looking at him brought back memories she'd long since buried. "Yes, it's a privilege working with Mr. Yoon," she said, glancing warmly at the other man.
"I'm surprised you were picked for this, though. Are you related to your boss?"
Ji Won blinked rapidly and Shin almost laughed out loud. Was he getting to her?
"What do you mean?"
Jin Mo shot him a warning look but he ignored it. "I'm just saying," he began moving his hands for emphasis, "that it's a bit surprising that someone with your level of experience was given the chance to work on a project of this caliber. You must be aware of Mr. Yoon's stature in the writing world."
Ji Won felt her chest tightening but she took a deep breath to calm herself down. She wasn't going to let him piss her off. What happened to the nice guy she'd met in Aruba? The guy who'd made her last days memorable? The guy who hadn't judged her even at her lowest point? Was he a completely fabrication? Just like his stupid name? "As you might be aware, some of my previous works have become bestsellers."
He nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Two cookbooks, one travel guide and one self-help book. It's hardly the same thing."
Ji Won sat there speechlessly and would probably have remained so for the rest of the night if the real Jin Mo hadn't suddenly decided that he needed to give them a few minutes to duke it out and announced that he was leaving for the restroom.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Shin gave her a very obvious once-over and said, "I see you're looking healthy. The food in Seoul must be so much better than in Shanghai. Alex, much did you gain? Five pounds? Six pounds?"
"Fu.ck you."
He nodded. "Yeah, you certainly did that, didn't you? You found a sucker, had a lot of fun and disappeared."
"Fun?" she repeated spitefully. "Just because I clenched my vagina and screamed doesn't mean I actually had any fun. So don't flatter yourself."
Shin would probably have fired back if it hadn't stung so much. And it lasted for the whole night with him not saying much and letting Jin Mo dominate the conversation and agree to terms 'Pil Suh' would have to work under.
***
"Shin ah, when you see a pretty woman, you're supposed to turn her on and not off," Jin Mo said wearily as they walked to their cars.
"And that's what I'll do when I see one," he snapped back. He was still angry and getting angrier with every passing moment.
The older man burst out laughing. "But what exactly is going on? First you're rude then you stop talking entirely. Where did you guys meet?
"Forget about it. It's a long, boring story that isn't worth re-telling," he replied, fishing his car keys from his pocket.
"Hmm… okay. But since you've decided to pretend to be me, I hope you're not expecting me to work on the edits myself. I hope you don't really expect me to spend the whole of tomorrow afternoon moving words around and arguing about which sentences I need to expand on and all that bulls.hit."
Shin laughed. "And to think that you started off as a writer. Working with editors is part of the package."
"A part I detest, which probably explains why my one and only novel has sold a grand total of 100 copies in the last 10 years."
"99 of which I bought as punishment for losing a bet," he teased.
Jin Mo slapped his back and laughed. They'd been together ever since Shin's second release and had developed an honest and mutually respectful relationship in the process. "So what are we going to do about Miss. Na? How will you fix this? And do you think you'll be able to work with her? "
Shin nodded. "Don't worry. I'll figure something out."
***
"Are you always so punctual?"
The deep voice permeated Ji Won's daydream and shook her out of it rather violently.
"Ah," Shin said, making an exaggerated nervous face. "You scare easily too," he commented, pulling the chair across from hers then sitting in it.
She dropped the pen in her hand and groaned. "What are you doing here?" Didn't prayers work?
"I should be asking you the same thing." He made a show of looking at his watch. "You're fifteen minutes early."
"Early for what? We didn't have plans."
"3pm at the Starbucks across from the Galleria?"
"I didn't make those plans with you. Is your name Yoon Pil Suh?" she flung at him.
Yes. "So you were ditched on your wedding day?" It was time to change subjects, anyway.
Ji Won was so shocked by the question that her mouth remained open for a few seconds. "Wh-wh-w…?"
He leaned forward, rested his elbows on the table and put his hands together. "I did some digging on you." He shrugged. "You must have known that I'd do that. So was that your honeymoon? You were on your honeymoon alone?" Even though he wasn't showing it, discovering that had made her appear far less vile and a little courageous both of which made her quite intriguing. Now, he really wanted to hear her sob story and why she'd felt the need to go on a trip that would probably only serve to make her more miserable. He leaned in closer. "Come on, tell me about it."
Ji Won stood up abruptly, the loud sound of the chair scraping against the hard floor attracted attention from the other patrons. "Where's your client?"
Shin leaned back and looked away from her. "Sit down."
She slung her handbag over her shoulder and moved two steps closer to him. She'd already had her fill of this guy. "Tell your client to call me when he's ready to see me." She took a glance at the folder on the table and decided to leave it there. If their work relationship was about to end, he might as well keep his client's manuscript.
Just as she was about to walk away, he said, "He's not coming."
"How professional of him. If he doesn't want to work with me, he should just understand –"
Shin stood up and noticed that her forehead wasn't at his eye-level and quickly glanced at her feet. Oh. She wasn't wearing heels. Even without the added height, she was still tall for a woman but being almost able to see the top of her head suddenly made him feel like he had twice as much testosterone… till he remembered her comment about clenching and returned back to earth.
"Miss Na, please sit down. Let me explain."
She wanted to leave but as a professional, even if her writer's agent was an arrogant sonofabit.ch, she still had to work with him. She placed her purse on the table and went back to her seat. "Is something wrong with your client?"
Shin tried to figure out which look would work best – the emotional, apologetic agent or the stonehearted agent who only saw his clients as Won bills. He was still pondering this when Ji Won repeated her question.
"He's in rehab."
For the second time in less than ten minutes, she was stunned. "What did you just say?"
"I said that he's in rehab."
"Rehab as in some cool, new writers' workshop where he's giving a lecture on transitions and word choice?" she asked hopefully.
"No. Rehab as in the place where drug addicts, drunks and a whole bunch of other abusers go to try to build a better life… or escape a jail sentence."
Ji Won looked down and shook her head. She just couldn't get her head around it. There was no way that sweet, talented, good-natured man was an addict. She looked up at Shin. Yeah, she'd have no problems believing that he was some kind of substance abuser, but Pil Suh? "Sex addict, perhaps?"
Shin couldn't help but burst into laughter. She was just too cute in her disbelief. She was acting like a young girl who was trying to figure out if she's really overheard that the Tooth Fairy didn't exist.
She frowned then glared at him. "What's so funny?"
He looked away and tried to get himself together. But her unnecessarily serious face wasn't helping matters. He bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face. "He's in rehab because he has a drug problem – he's had it for years. He's had it tough, you know."
She nodded. From the little of his memoir she'd read, she could imagine that he was right. "What happened? Is he going to be alright?"
She looked so worried that he felt a little guilty about lying to her. "It's only for 30 days and it wasn't a court-order so you shouldn't worry about him having any legal troubles. He just slipped up a little and wants to get it all out of his system. He's really trying hard to kick his habit and so far he's been doing pretty well."
"I wish him luck," she said, nodding. "But the book… what do we do about it? Is it getting delayed? My boss can probably find something else for me to do in the meantime so yeah, don't worry about me – I am not inconvenienced. Right now, the main priority is for him to get well. Please send him my wishes."
Shin was touched by her reaction, surprised that she was so willing to accommodate someone she barely even knew. He looked away and went into the second half of his plan. "Well, the thing is the publisher has refused to move the deadline because the wheels have already been put in motion with publicity and they've already started talking to the printers. It's hilarious because the story hasn't been written but they already have a release date. But I'm sure you know that's standard practice."
Ji Won nodded. "So where does that leave us?"
"Luckily, writing has always been part of Pil Suh's…," he paused and tried his best not to make a face. To him, there was nothing more pretentious than talking about one's self in third person. "Pil Suh definitely wants to keep writing," he continued, "and we've spoken to his doctors and agreed that I should act as a liaison between you guys. I'm pretty much the only person allowed to see him because they understand that it's strictly business and they are familiar with me so he'll write the chapters and I'll bring them to you. And then you can give me the rewrites and I'll send them back to him." He stretched his hand out. "I believe you have some edits for me."
She took the folder off the table and held it close to her body.
Shin tried his best not to notice that the brown folder was now rubbing against a part of her anatomy that he'd once pushed lace off and nibbled. He sucked in some air and looked away. Okay, so maybe he was about to play a dangerous game he wasn't quite ready for. There was no reason he should be having sexual thoughts about a woman who'd discarded him so carelessly – never mind her reasons.
Before learning of her abortive wedding, he'd spent the night tossing and turning, trying not to relive his last few days in Aruba. He'd simply gone there to unwind and relax before writing his next book. Instead, he'd met an obviously troubled woman he'd grown to care about in a short while. Even though he knew she'd been lying to him, he'd thought that they'd clicked and had intended to propose that they remained in touch – even if it was only as friends. But waking up to the sight of two strange women frowning at him, and finally accepting what she'd done to him had made him question his judgment and ability to read people. And that scared him because he thought he was long past trusting people who only used him for their own selfish gain.
But maybe meeting her again was a chance to right this wrong. Maybe he'd been given the opportunity to give their story an alternate ending. One where he'd do the leaving and she'd be the idiot. And if he could get some work done in the process, why not? He was still lost in thought when he looked across and saw her pink, full lips pursed at him questioningly.
"What?" he asked, his voice far too shaky for any human who hoped to be referred to as a man.
"Did you suddenly drift off to another planet?"
He sat up. "What are you talking about?" He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her.
She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know."
"Yeah, obviously," he snapped back.
"Okay," she said, standing up. "I guess it's time for me to leave."
As she began to walk off, he quickly caught her hand. A hand with fingers that had once dug into his.... What is wrong with me? He immediately took his hand off and looked away. Why am I acting like a girl?
Ji Won raised her brow. What was wrong with him?
"I need the edits," he said simply.
She sighed and took a step back so that she could see his face clearly. "I don't think this arrangement is going to work for me." The thought of seeing him so often didn't bode too well with her. Yeah, he looked sexy in the gray shirt that had three buttons sleazily undone, thankfully without a gold chain hanging down, but he was still an ass.hole. "I can just email the edits to him."
"But last night, didn't you say that you preferred to work with hardcopies?"
She hadn't even realized that he'd been paying attention. "Yeah, but we obviously have to make adjustments here and I am willing to do that."
"He's not allowed email access in rehab."
"How about sending it by courier service?"
Luckily, he'd expected to hear that suggestion. "No one is allowed to receive packages there. What if someone tries to slip contraband in with what appears to be a manuscript? What if someone sends a letter bomb or something just as dangerous?"
She rolled her eyes. Letter bomb? she scoffed to herself. How dramatic.
"As I already explained, I am the only one allowed contact with him because they trust me, so you're going to have to work through me."
She dropped the folder in front of him and sat back down. So was she really stuck in this impossible situation? Or maybe she could talk to her boss about dropping the project.
"We probably should come up with a schedule to make it easier for all of us." He pulled out his Blackberry. "What days are good for you?"
Jin Mo couldn't help but notice the tension between them. "Shin ah, you already know her?"
Ji Won took another glance at her folder and then back at them again. "Y-your name is Shin?" She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Why was she stammering like an idiot? "Were you brought to the right table? I'm supposed to be meeting Yoon Pil Suh and Jo Jin Mo."
"That's us!" Jin Mo said cheerfully.
Shin was irritated by the look of despair on her face. Wasn't she the one who'd bailed on him? Why did she look like a trapped animal trying to find the closest escape route?
"Why don't we sit?" Jin Mo suggested. The poor woman looked like she barely had any energy left to keep standing. He glanced at Shin and saw that he too was in a state of shock. It was one of those rare moments he regretted being unable to read minds.
"Yes, let's sit," Ji Won said before doing just that. She gulped down the cold glass of water hoping that the temperature would awaken her from this nightmare but when she put down the empty glass, she still found both men looking at her.
"You're Yoon Pil Suh, right?" she asked —no, begged—the shorter man. If there was any justice in this world, he just had to be. Of all the women in the world who had one night stands and flings with strange men, why would she have to be the one forced to work with him? Didn't she deserve a break?
Jin Mo started to shake his head when Shin said, "Yes. He's Pil Suh and I'm Jin Mo."
The older man's eyes darted to him then to Ji Won who was looking visibly relieved.
She smiled then pointed at the chairs, urging the men to sit then did the same. She took a deep breath then pasted her 'editor smile' back on her face. Yes, she had to remember why she was meeting them in the first place. She drummed her fingers over the folder on the table. "I'm still working on the first chapter but I already love your story," she said, leaning forward and smiling.
Shin looked away in disgust. Anyone looking at those lightly lined bright eyes wouldn't know that behind them lay a cold, heartless bit.ch. Someone who could easily sleep with a man and ditch him like he was yesterday's newspaper. Someone who wasn't even decent enough to leave a note so that the poor hapless man wouldn't be caught naked by strange women or make him wander around the hotel and later around Aruba, searching for her, sure that he hadn't imagined their connection and that she really hadn't only thought of him as a hit-and-run.
But there she was, her hair falling carelessly against her face, a slight dimple threatening to develop on her left cheek, smiling and talking to Jin Mo, looking sexy in dark jeans and a white shirt. Bit.ch.
"So this must be quite a project for you," he said, interrupting her mid-sentence.
She turned to him like it was a huge feat. She'd been trying to find a way of ignoring him while looking professional and in the last minute or so, she'd thought she'd found it. Not because she had anything against him and simply because she was embarrassed. Because the whole time she was talking to Jin Mo, she'd been reliving moments of sitting on a stranger, crying, with a condom wrapper in her hand. Looking at him brought back memories she'd long since buried. "Yes, it's a privilege working with Mr. Yoon," she said, glancing warmly at the other man.
"I'm surprised you were picked for this, though. Are you related to your boss?"
Ji Won blinked rapidly and Shin almost laughed out loud. Was he getting to her?
"What do you mean?"
Jin Mo shot him a warning look but he ignored it. "I'm just saying," he began moving his hands for emphasis, "that it's a bit surprising that someone with your level of experience was given the chance to work on a project of this caliber. You must be aware of Mr. Yoon's stature in the writing world."
Ji Won felt her chest tightening but she took a deep breath to calm herself down. She wasn't going to let him piss her off. What happened to the nice guy she'd met in Aruba? The guy who'd made her last days memorable? The guy who hadn't judged her even at her lowest point? Was he a completely fabrication? Just like his stupid name? "As you might be aware, some of my previous works have become bestsellers."
He nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Two cookbooks, one travel guide and one self-help book. It's hardly the same thing."
Ji Won sat there speechlessly and would probably have remained so for the rest of the night if the real Jin Mo hadn't suddenly decided that he needed to give them a few minutes to duke it out and announced that he was leaving for the restroom.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Shin gave her a very obvious once-over and said, "I see you're looking healthy. The food in Seoul must be so much better than in Shanghai. Alex, much did you gain? Five pounds? Six pounds?"
"Fu.ck you."
He nodded. "Yeah, you certainly did that, didn't you? You found a sucker, had a lot of fun and disappeared."
"Fun?" she repeated spitefully. "Just because I clenched my vagina and screamed doesn't mean I actually had any fun. So don't flatter yourself."
Shin would probably have fired back if it hadn't stung so much. And it lasted for the whole night with him not saying much and letting Jin Mo dominate the conversation and agree to terms 'Pil Suh' would have to work under.
***
"Shin ah, when you see a pretty woman, you're supposed to turn her on and not off," Jin Mo said wearily as they walked to their cars.
"And that's what I'll do when I see one," he snapped back. He was still angry and getting angrier with every passing moment.
The older man burst out laughing. "But what exactly is going on? First you're rude then you stop talking entirely. Where did you guys meet?
"Forget about it. It's a long, boring story that isn't worth re-telling," he replied, fishing his car keys from his pocket.
"Hmm… okay. But since you've decided to pretend to be me, I hope you're not expecting me to work on the edits myself. I hope you don't really expect me to spend the whole of tomorrow afternoon moving words around and arguing about which sentences I need to expand on and all that bulls.hit."
Shin laughed. "And to think that you started off as a writer. Working with editors is part of the package."
"A part I detest, which probably explains why my one and only novel has sold a grand total of 100 copies in the last 10 years."
"99 of which I bought as punishment for losing a bet," he teased.
Jin Mo slapped his back and laughed. They'd been together ever since Shin's second release and had developed an honest and mutually respectful relationship in the process. "So what are we going to do about Miss. Na? How will you fix this? And do you think you'll be able to work with her? "
Shin nodded. "Don't worry. I'll figure something out."
***
"Are you always so punctual?"
The deep voice permeated Ji Won's daydream and shook her out of it rather violently.
"Ah," Shin said, making an exaggerated nervous face. "You scare easily too," he commented, pulling the chair across from hers then sitting in it.
She dropped the pen in her hand and groaned. "What are you doing here?" Didn't prayers work?
"I should be asking you the same thing." He made a show of looking at his watch. "You're fifteen minutes early."
"Early for what? We didn't have plans."
"3pm at the Starbucks across from the Galleria?"
"I didn't make those plans with you. Is your name Yoon Pil Suh?" she flung at him.
Yes. "So you were ditched on your wedding day?" It was time to change subjects, anyway.
Ji Won was so shocked by the question that her mouth remained open for a few seconds. "Wh-wh-w…?"
He leaned forward, rested his elbows on the table and put his hands together. "I did some digging on you." He shrugged. "You must have known that I'd do that. So was that your honeymoon? You were on your honeymoon alone?" Even though he wasn't showing it, discovering that had made her appear far less vile and a little courageous both of which made her quite intriguing. Now, he really wanted to hear her sob story and why she'd felt the need to go on a trip that would probably only serve to make her more miserable. He leaned in closer. "Come on, tell me about it."
Ji Won stood up abruptly, the loud sound of the chair scraping against the hard floor attracted attention from the other patrons. "Where's your client?"
Shin leaned back and looked away from her. "Sit down."
She slung her handbag over her shoulder and moved two steps closer to him. She'd already had her fill of this guy. "Tell your client to call me when he's ready to see me." She took a glance at the folder on the table and decided to leave it there. If their work relationship was about to end, he might as well keep his client's manuscript.
Just as she was about to walk away, he said, "He's not coming."
"How professional of him. If he doesn't want to work with me, he should just understand –"
Shin stood up and noticed that her forehead wasn't at his eye-level and quickly glanced at her feet. Oh. She wasn't wearing heels. Even without the added height, she was still tall for a woman but being almost able to see the top of her head suddenly made him feel like he had twice as much testosterone… till he remembered her comment about clenching and returned back to earth.
"Miss Na, please sit down. Let me explain."
She wanted to leave but as a professional, even if her writer's agent was an arrogant sonofabit.ch, she still had to work with him. She placed her purse on the table and went back to her seat. "Is something wrong with your client?"
Shin tried to figure out which look would work best – the emotional, apologetic agent or the stonehearted agent who only saw his clients as Won bills. He was still pondering this when Ji Won repeated her question.
"He's in rehab."
For the second time in less than ten minutes, she was stunned. "What did you just say?"
"I said that he's in rehab."
"Rehab as in some cool, new writers' workshop where he's giving a lecture on transitions and word choice?" she asked hopefully.
"No. Rehab as in the place where drug addicts, drunks and a whole bunch of other abusers go to try to build a better life… or escape a jail sentence."
Ji Won looked down and shook her head. She just couldn't get her head around it. There was no way that sweet, talented, good-natured man was an addict. She looked up at Shin. Yeah, she'd have no problems believing that he was some kind of substance abuser, but Pil Suh? "Sex addict, perhaps?"
Shin couldn't help but burst into laughter. She was just too cute in her disbelief. She was acting like a young girl who was trying to figure out if she's really overheard that the Tooth Fairy didn't exist.
She frowned then glared at him. "What's so funny?"
He looked away and tried to get himself together. But her unnecessarily serious face wasn't helping matters. He bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face. "He's in rehab because he has a drug problem – he's had it for years. He's had it tough, you know."
She nodded. From the little of his memoir she'd read, she could imagine that he was right. "What happened? Is he going to be alright?"
She looked so worried that he felt a little guilty about lying to her. "It's only for 30 days and it wasn't a court-order so you shouldn't worry about him having any legal troubles. He just slipped up a little and wants to get it all out of his system. He's really trying hard to kick his habit and so far he's been doing pretty well."
"I wish him luck," she said, nodding. "But the book… what do we do about it? Is it getting delayed? My boss can probably find something else for me to do in the meantime so yeah, don't worry about me – I am not inconvenienced. Right now, the main priority is for him to get well. Please send him my wishes."
Shin was touched by her reaction, surprised that she was so willing to accommodate someone she barely even knew. He looked away and went into the second half of his plan. "Well, the thing is the publisher has refused to move the deadline because the wheels have already been put in motion with publicity and they've already started talking to the printers. It's hilarious because the story hasn't been written but they already have a release date. But I'm sure you know that's standard practice."
Ji Won nodded. "So where does that leave us?"
"Luckily, writing has always been part of Pil Suh's…," he paused and tried his best not to make a face. To him, there was nothing more pretentious than talking about one's self in third person. "Pil Suh definitely wants to keep writing," he continued, "and we've spoken to his doctors and agreed that I should act as a liaison between you guys. I'm pretty much the only person allowed to see him because they understand that it's strictly business and they are familiar with me so he'll write the chapters and I'll bring them to you. And then you can give me the rewrites and I'll send them back to him." He stretched his hand out. "I believe you have some edits for me."
She took the folder off the table and held it close to her body.
Shin tried his best not to notice that the brown folder was now rubbing against a part of her anatomy that he'd once pushed lace off and nibbled. He sucked in some air and looked away. Okay, so maybe he was about to play a dangerous game he wasn't quite ready for. There was no reason he should be having sexual thoughts about a woman who'd discarded him so carelessly – never mind her reasons.
Before learning of her abortive wedding, he'd spent the night tossing and turning, trying not to relive his last few days in Aruba. He'd simply gone there to unwind and relax before writing his next book. Instead, he'd met an obviously troubled woman he'd grown to care about in a short while. Even though he knew she'd been lying to him, he'd thought that they'd clicked and had intended to propose that they remained in touch – even if it was only as friends. But waking up to the sight of two strange women frowning at him, and finally accepting what she'd done to him had made him question his judgment and ability to read people. And that scared him because he thought he was long past trusting people who only used him for their own selfish gain.
But maybe meeting her again was a chance to right this wrong. Maybe he'd been given the opportunity to give their story an alternate ending. One where he'd do the leaving and she'd be the idiot. And if he could get some work done in the process, why not? He was still lost in thought when he looked across and saw her pink, full lips pursed at him questioningly.
"What?" he asked, his voice far too shaky for any human who hoped to be referred to as a man.
"Did you suddenly drift off to another planet?"
He sat up. "What are you talking about?" He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her.
She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know."
"Yeah, obviously," he snapped back.
"Okay," she said, standing up. "I guess it's time for me to leave."
As she began to walk off, he quickly caught her hand. A hand with fingers that had once dug into his.... What is wrong with me? He immediately took his hand off and looked away. Why am I acting like a girl?
Ji Won raised her brow. What was wrong with him?
"I need the edits," he said simply.
She sighed and took a step back so that she could see his face clearly. "I don't think this arrangement is going to work for me." The thought of seeing him so often didn't bode too well with her. Yeah, he looked sexy in the gray shirt that had three buttons sleazily undone, thankfully without a gold chain hanging down, but he was still an ass.hole. "I can just email the edits to him."
"But last night, didn't you say that you preferred to work with hardcopies?"
She hadn't even realized that he'd been paying attention. "Yeah, but we obviously have to make adjustments here and I am willing to do that."
"He's not allowed email access in rehab."
"How about sending it by courier service?"
Luckily, he'd expected to hear that suggestion. "No one is allowed to receive packages there. What if someone tries to slip contraband in with what appears to be a manuscript? What if someone sends a letter bomb or something just as dangerous?"
She rolled her eyes. Letter bomb? she scoffed to herself. How dramatic.
"As I already explained, I am the only one allowed contact with him because they trust me, so you're going to have to work through me."
She dropped the folder in front of him and sat back down. So was she really stuck in this impossible situation? Or maybe she could talk to her boss about dropping the project.
"We probably should come up with a schedule to make it easier for all of us." He pulled out his Blackberry. "What days are good for you?"
Chapter 11
"… Now it looks like I have to work with this guy," Ji Won finished in exasperation. It was only a few hours since meeting with Shin and as per usual, she was hanging out in a tent bar with her friend, Kyung Ho, and sister, Mi Na. "I just wish I never had to see him again."
"Is that so?" Mi Na asked, raising her left eyebrow. "Exactly how cute is he?"
She rolled her eyes. What did cute have to do with this? Hadn't she been listening to her? "I don't know," she said dismissively.
"You don't know if he's good-looking?" Kyung Ho asked, immediately picking up on her tone. From the way she'd gone on and on about him earlier, he'd suspected that something was up, but now, he was certain. Ji Won was one to speak her mind and if he'd been the least bit unattractive, she wouldn't have hesitated to mention it. And if she felt an attraction to a new man, he was more than pleased… as far as he wasn't another bubble gum. In fact, he had half a mind to do a background check on any man she chose to see in the future. He just could deal with seeing her in pain again. "How hard is it to tell if someone is attractive?" he pressed. "All you have to do is open your eyes and look...?"
She hissed and shook her head. "Whatever."
"Anyway, from all that you've told us, I think he's attracted to you. Don't you think so, Oppa?" Mi Na asked, looking to Kyung Ho for confirmation.
Ji Won scoffed. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Jo Jin Mo definitely wasn't interested in her. As far as she could tell, she'd bruised his humongous male ego by leaving him that last night so even if he'd liked her at one point, he certainly didn't any longer. But since they didn't know the full story, it only made sense that they'd come up with an illogical explanation.
"If you're attracted to him," Kyung Ho said, narrowing his eyes and looking directly at her, "go out with him. No one is saying you should start having babies but there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and getting your feet wet again."
Ji Won sighed. "What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Where did that come from? You guys are getting the wrong idea here. I'm talking about some guy I have to work with and you're talking about dating him? Gosh," she said, folding her arms and turning away from them. Then she turned back and looked at them in disgust before turning back around and filling her glass with some more soju.
Mi Na laughed as she watched her sister fidget then cleared her throat. "Well," she said, sitting up, "the next time you see him, take a look at his face and find out if he's attractive. If he is, can you hook me up?"
Ji Won looked at her from the corner of her eye. Hook who up? So that he can move from one sister to the next? "Dream on."
Mi Na pouted. "You suck. If you don't want him, why not give him to me? Oh, by the way, Umma said I should bring you home for dinner tonight."
She sighed then gulped down the glass of soju. As the strong liquor slid down her throat, she made a face then glanced back at her sister. "Count me out. I don't think I am in the mood to look at that woman struggle to keep herself from asking me about my non-existent love life. And that goes to you two, too," she warned, wagging her finger at them. "I'll start dating when it's time but till then, keep your mouths shut!"
***
I watched as my great-grandmother read the first story I'd ever written. Our classes had been going well and our routine was to slip in an hour of studying before going out to the fields then an hour later, after filling out bellies with dinner.
After reading what, now that I think about it, was probably about a hundred words, she looked up at me and said, "Did you write this yourself?"
I nodded.
She pursed her lips sideways. "Are you sure you didn't copy it from a book?"
I nodded fervently. She was my only source of literature so even if I'd wanted to copy anything, I was sure she'd recognize the source instantly. Hence, the thought had never even occurred to me.
She nodded once as she folded the sheet in half. As she handed it to me, she said, "Not bad."
My heart sank as I heard those words. It had been almost a year since she'd begun her lessons and months since she commented that I was a very fast learner. Ever since I understood the basics, I'd tried to read everything I could get my hands on. I still had a lot to learn, particularly with understanding the more complex words but I was getting pretty good especially as one of her friends had lent us a dictionary. I'd discovered my love for words and on some days, spent endless hours reading through the dictionary and discovering new words.
Dejected, I picked up my notebook and stood up. Having spent so long writing and rewriting that story till I'd thought it was perfect, I'd expected a far more favorable response from her.
As I turned around to leave, she also stood up and called my name.
"Yes?" I mumbled.
To my surprise, she quickly grabbed me and pulled me to her. As she hugged me, she said, "Pil Suh yah, that story was wonderful. I was only teasing you." She chuckled then patted me on the head. "And I really like that the first story you've written is about a little boy and his grandmother, so of course I loved it!" she said, rubbing my shoulders. "Can't you tell when your halmoni is teasing?"
Still unsure, looking up, I muttered, "Really?"
"Really!" She playfully roughed up my hair and said, "You're getting so good at this. Before I know it, you'll be writing better than I." She pinched my cheek. "Just work on your tenses and the next story will be even better. Okay?"
Relieved that she'd liked my work, I gave her a quick hug and promised that I would.
After disentangling from me, she said, "I'm going to my room to rest for a bit. Wake me up in thirty minutes so that we can go to the farm. Okay? With the way the weather has been lately, I'm sure we'll need to take our hose with us."
"Yes, Halmoni," I said, grabbing my notebook and sitting back down so that I could start working on the next story. I picked up our only textbook to reread the section on tenses.
For years later, I often regretted not savoring those moments more, maybe talking to her as she retreated to the bedroom or even following her so that we could nap together, because, as bad luck would have it, it would be the last time that I ever see her alive.
***
"Will you like anything else?" the waitress asked, refilling Ji Won's glass with water. The last time she'd seen Shin, they'd agreed to meet every other day to exchange their work so she was waiting to see him. She'd been under the impression that it would only be a quick meeting where they'd say their hellos, exchange folders and then their goodbyes, but the previous day, he'd called saying that he wanted to discuss some of Pil Suh's comments about her edits.
She had braced herself for that. Writers –especially successful ones- were very stubborn when it came to criticism about their work but it was her job to make sure that every book she edited adhered to the highest of standards. And if that meant cajoling the author a little, twisting his arm as she fed him honey, she was more than willing to do it. But with Pil Suh… how exactly did one go about cajoling an author through a middleman?
She looked up at the waitress and shook her head. "Nothing. Thanks."
The waitress frowned. "If you don't want anything else, why don't you just leave? You're taking up space in my section and I'm sure there are paying customers who'd love to sit here," she said before rolling her eyes and leaving.
Normally, such rudeness would have met with a cutting reply or a complaint to the manager but instead, Ji Won was embarrassed. All the lady wanted to do was earn some money yet she'd been occupying a four-person table for almost an hour and to top it off, she'd only drunk water. She'd picked the large table so that she and Shin would have enough room to pore over the manuscript but since she'd obviously overstayed her welcome, she decided that it was time to leave. Less than thirty seconds later, she dropped a 10,000 Won bill on the table and left. As soon as she was standing on the street, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, she flipped open her phone and dialed a number.
***
"Stop calling!" Shin yelled as he covered his ears with his pillow. After seeing how the so-called editor had massacred his work, making more crosses on it than a tic-tac-toe game, he'd ended up staying up much later than he normally did.
He was certainly no novice, having written steadily for more than half his life and not to toot he's own horn, he was still very much one of the celebrated young writers of his genre, with his books translated in several languages and a series on Taiwanese television. And not only did he have millions of books in print, his unique literary style had won him both awards and critical praise so how dare she have so many 'corrections'? Granted, he was writing his memoir in a completely different style but there was no way he sucked so much!
With that in mind, he'd angrily gone to his computer and written and written till he barely had enough energy to walk over to his bed and sleep. At that moment, he couldn't believe that he'd been asleep for long so if the stupid caller could only get the hint and stop calling, he'd be able to sleep a bit longer!
When the ringing stopped, he pushed the pillow off and readjusted his body to a more comfortable position. But just as he was about to nod off, the phone chirped again.
Grumbling, with his eyes still shut, he reached for the phone and after what felt like an eternity, he finally felt it. The moment he put it against his ear, it chirped loudly. Grunting in frustration, he pushed the button to answer the call. "What?" he yelled.
"What?" Ji Won replied in exasperation. "Did you just 'what' me? Have you forgotten that we were supposed to meet today? The first time the wrong person showed up and now, no one showed up at all! If this is a joke, I am not finding it funny. If you can't take this seriously or you don't want to work with me, please say it instead of wasting my time like this. I am sure you can find another editor and I can find a more professional writer!"
Shin wiped his eyes and turned over. "You're shouting. Can you lower you voice?" he said, groggily.
"For God's sake don't tell me you are sleeping!"
The tone in her voice woke him further. As he opened his eyes, his brain began to function better and as if he'd been struck by a bolt of lightning, he remembered the meeting he'd set up. He wiped his eyes again then looked over to his alarm clock. On seeing the time, he cursed under his breath.
"Are you cursing at me? Mr. Jo, if this is how you conduct business—"
Now alert, Shin sat up in his bed. "Just give me twenty minutes – no, fifteen minutes and I'll be there."
"There? I just got kicked out of the restaurant so I know you don't expect me to go and wait for you somewhere else! Let's just postpone this to another day."
He jumped off his bed, peeled off his pajama bottoms and threw them on the bed. Since he normally slept shirtless, he was naked except for the boxers he still had on.
"I'm so sorry, Miss Na," he said, walking over to the bathroom. "I promise to make it up to you but let's not delay this any further. Plus Pil Suh has been very creative lately. He already has five new chapters."
"Five new chapters?"
Shin smiled when he heard the curiosity in her voice. "Yes, five new chapters. He had a sudden burst of inspiration and kept writing all night."
"Okay. But I don't want to sit and wait any longer. Besides, it looks like it's about to rain. Where's your office? Maybe I can quickly pick it up and leave. What's the address?"
He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on to let it run and heat up. "I'm not at the office," he said, testing the water with his fingers.
"Then where are you?" she asked in exasperation.
"Hey, chill. I'm around but just not in an office. I live pretty close to the restaurant so if you don't mind, you can come here instead. Do you have a pen on hand? Let me give you the address."
***
The door opened just as Ji Won raised her hand to knock at it.
"I'm so sorry about this," Shin said as he opened the door wider to let her in. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans and it was obvious to Ji Won that he'd dressed hurriedly because some parts of his t-shirt clung to the moisture on his chest. Plus he was drying his hair with his towel. "Welcome to my home," he joked as he took the towel off his head and slung it over his shoulder. "Why don't I get you those chapters?" he said, turning around and retreating hurriedly to his room.
Ji Won walked in further and looked around his place. It was exactly as she'd expected – clean and angular, with Ikea-style furniture she suspected cost far more than the entire contents of her mother's house. The walls were painted in a beige hue and he had the standard unnecessarily huge plasma television in the living room, polished wooden floors in addition to what appeared to be a real Persian silk rug. His home was understated and somewhat sparse but still had a lot of character. There was a glass shelf behind one of the couches that was filled with what appeared to be differently-sized vases from all four corners of the earth. She was surprised to see that because she'd never pegged him as a collector of anything.
She sat down on the loveseat, surprised by how soft the firm-looking sofa really was. On the mahogany coffee table lay a multitude of remote controls and after looking at them, she curiously picked a small black one that only had two buttons.
"I wonder what this does," she said to herself right before pressing one of the buttons. When she looked around the room and saw no changes, she pressed the other one and watched as a stool almost noiselessly pulled out from underneath the coffee table. She laughed and pressed the first button to push it back in. Just as she was about to pick up another remote control to see what it did, she heard Shin's footsteps.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said.
Embarrassed that she'd been caught playing with his things, she quickly got up then turned around to face him. She sucked in her breath as she took in the sight of him. Okay, what was it about guys with wet hair that weakened her knees so? She ignored her quickening heartbeats and swallowed. Standing there, watching him walk over was the first time she realized that back in Aruba, while they were with the dolphins, when he'd emerged from the water --his hair stuck to his face, his eyes blinking widely and his lips turned up in a reluctant grin-- was when she decided that she wanted to sleep with him. Not because she wanted a fling to dull the pain from being dumped, but for herself. Not as revenge against Joon Young but because she'd been attracted to him and wanted him. Every inch of him. With that in mind, she looked away to hide what she was sure was a face that was now crimson.
"Is that so?" Mi Na asked, raising her left eyebrow. "Exactly how cute is he?"
She rolled her eyes. What did cute have to do with this? Hadn't she been listening to her? "I don't know," she said dismissively.
"You don't know if he's good-looking?" Kyung Ho asked, immediately picking up on her tone. From the way she'd gone on and on about him earlier, he'd suspected that something was up, but now, he was certain. Ji Won was one to speak her mind and if he'd been the least bit unattractive, she wouldn't have hesitated to mention it. And if she felt an attraction to a new man, he was more than pleased… as far as he wasn't another bubble gum. In fact, he had half a mind to do a background check on any man she chose to see in the future. He just could deal with seeing her in pain again. "How hard is it to tell if someone is attractive?" he pressed. "All you have to do is open your eyes and look...?"
She hissed and shook her head. "Whatever."
"Anyway, from all that you've told us, I think he's attracted to you. Don't you think so, Oppa?" Mi Na asked, looking to Kyung Ho for confirmation.
Ji Won scoffed. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Jo Jin Mo definitely wasn't interested in her. As far as she could tell, she'd bruised his humongous male ego by leaving him that last night so even if he'd liked her at one point, he certainly didn't any longer. But since they didn't know the full story, it only made sense that they'd come up with an illogical explanation.
"If you're attracted to him," Kyung Ho said, narrowing his eyes and looking directly at her, "go out with him. No one is saying you should start having babies but there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and getting your feet wet again."
Ji Won sighed. "What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Where did that come from? You guys are getting the wrong idea here. I'm talking about some guy I have to work with and you're talking about dating him? Gosh," she said, folding her arms and turning away from them. Then she turned back and looked at them in disgust before turning back around and filling her glass with some more soju.
Mi Na laughed as she watched her sister fidget then cleared her throat. "Well," she said, sitting up, "the next time you see him, take a look at his face and find out if he's attractive. If he is, can you hook me up?"
Ji Won looked at her from the corner of her eye. Hook who up? So that he can move from one sister to the next? "Dream on."
Mi Na pouted. "You suck. If you don't want him, why not give him to me? Oh, by the way, Umma said I should bring you home for dinner tonight."
She sighed then gulped down the glass of soju. As the strong liquor slid down her throat, she made a face then glanced back at her sister. "Count me out. I don't think I am in the mood to look at that woman struggle to keep herself from asking me about my non-existent love life. And that goes to you two, too," she warned, wagging her finger at them. "I'll start dating when it's time but till then, keep your mouths shut!"
***
I watched as my great-grandmother read the first story I'd ever written. Our classes had been going well and our routine was to slip in an hour of studying before going out to the fields then an hour later, after filling out bellies with dinner.
After reading what, now that I think about it, was probably about a hundred words, she looked up at me and said, "Did you write this yourself?"
I nodded.
She pursed her lips sideways. "Are you sure you didn't copy it from a book?"
I nodded fervently. She was my only source of literature so even if I'd wanted to copy anything, I was sure she'd recognize the source instantly. Hence, the thought had never even occurred to me.
She nodded once as she folded the sheet in half. As she handed it to me, she said, "Not bad."
My heart sank as I heard those words. It had been almost a year since she'd begun her lessons and months since she commented that I was a very fast learner. Ever since I understood the basics, I'd tried to read everything I could get my hands on. I still had a lot to learn, particularly with understanding the more complex words but I was getting pretty good especially as one of her friends had lent us a dictionary. I'd discovered my love for words and on some days, spent endless hours reading through the dictionary and discovering new words.
Dejected, I picked up my notebook and stood up. Having spent so long writing and rewriting that story till I'd thought it was perfect, I'd expected a far more favorable response from her.
As I turned around to leave, she also stood up and called my name.
"Yes?" I mumbled.
To my surprise, she quickly grabbed me and pulled me to her. As she hugged me, she said, "Pil Suh yah, that story was wonderful. I was only teasing you." She chuckled then patted me on the head. "And I really like that the first story you've written is about a little boy and his grandmother, so of course I loved it!" she said, rubbing my shoulders. "Can't you tell when your halmoni is teasing?"
Still unsure, looking up, I muttered, "Really?"
"Really!" She playfully roughed up my hair and said, "You're getting so good at this. Before I know it, you'll be writing better than I." She pinched my cheek. "Just work on your tenses and the next story will be even better. Okay?"
Relieved that she'd liked my work, I gave her a quick hug and promised that I would.
After disentangling from me, she said, "I'm going to my room to rest for a bit. Wake me up in thirty minutes so that we can go to the farm. Okay? With the way the weather has been lately, I'm sure we'll need to take our hose with us."
"Yes, Halmoni," I said, grabbing my notebook and sitting back down so that I could start working on the next story. I picked up our only textbook to reread the section on tenses.
For years later, I often regretted not savoring those moments more, maybe talking to her as she retreated to the bedroom or even following her so that we could nap together, because, as bad luck would have it, it would be the last time that I ever see her alive.
***
"Will you like anything else?" the waitress asked, refilling Ji Won's glass with water. The last time she'd seen Shin, they'd agreed to meet every other day to exchange their work so she was waiting to see him. She'd been under the impression that it would only be a quick meeting where they'd say their hellos, exchange folders and then their goodbyes, but the previous day, he'd called saying that he wanted to discuss some of Pil Suh's comments about her edits.
She had braced herself for that. Writers –especially successful ones- were very stubborn when it came to criticism about their work but it was her job to make sure that every book she edited adhered to the highest of standards. And if that meant cajoling the author a little, twisting his arm as she fed him honey, she was more than willing to do it. But with Pil Suh… how exactly did one go about cajoling an author through a middleman?
She looked up at the waitress and shook her head. "Nothing. Thanks."
The waitress frowned. "If you don't want anything else, why don't you just leave? You're taking up space in my section and I'm sure there are paying customers who'd love to sit here," she said before rolling her eyes and leaving.
Normally, such rudeness would have met with a cutting reply or a complaint to the manager but instead, Ji Won was embarrassed. All the lady wanted to do was earn some money yet she'd been occupying a four-person table for almost an hour and to top it off, she'd only drunk water. She'd picked the large table so that she and Shin would have enough room to pore over the manuscript but since she'd obviously overstayed her welcome, she decided that it was time to leave. Less than thirty seconds later, she dropped a 10,000 Won bill on the table and left. As soon as she was standing on the street, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, she flipped open her phone and dialed a number.
***
"Stop calling!" Shin yelled as he covered his ears with his pillow. After seeing how the so-called editor had massacred his work, making more crosses on it than a tic-tac-toe game, he'd ended up staying up much later than he normally did.
He was certainly no novice, having written steadily for more than half his life and not to toot he's own horn, he was still very much one of the celebrated young writers of his genre, with his books translated in several languages and a series on Taiwanese television. And not only did he have millions of books in print, his unique literary style had won him both awards and critical praise so how dare she have so many 'corrections'? Granted, he was writing his memoir in a completely different style but there was no way he sucked so much!
With that in mind, he'd angrily gone to his computer and written and written till he barely had enough energy to walk over to his bed and sleep. At that moment, he couldn't believe that he'd been asleep for long so if the stupid caller could only get the hint and stop calling, he'd be able to sleep a bit longer!
When the ringing stopped, he pushed the pillow off and readjusted his body to a more comfortable position. But just as he was about to nod off, the phone chirped again.
Grumbling, with his eyes still shut, he reached for the phone and after what felt like an eternity, he finally felt it. The moment he put it against his ear, it chirped loudly. Grunting in frustration, he pushed the button to answer the call. "What?" he yelled.
"What?" Ji Won replied in exasperation. "Did you just 'what' me? Have you forgotten that we were supposed to meet today? The first time the wrong person showed up and now, no one showed up at all! If this is a joke, I am not finding it funny. If you can't take this seriously or you don't want to work with me, please say it instead of wasting my time like this. I am sure you can find another editor and I can find a more professional writer!"
Shin wiped his eyes and turned over. "You're shouting. Can you lower you voice?" he said, groggily.
"For God's sake don't tell me you are sleeping!"
The tone in her voice woke him further. As he opened his eyes, his brain began to function better and as if he'd been struck by a bolt of lightning, he remembered the meeting he'd set up. He wiped his eyes again then looked over to his alarm clock. On seeing the time, he cursed under his breath.
"Are you cursing at me? Mr. Jo, if this is how you conduct business—"
Now alert, Shin sat up in his bed. "Just give me twenty minutes – no, fifteen minutes and I'll be there."
"There? I just got kicked out of the restaurant so I know you don't expect me to go and wait for you somewhere else! Let's just postpone this to another day."
He jumped off his bed, peeled off his pajama bottoms and threw them on the bed. Since he normally slept shirtless, he was naked except for the boxers he still had on.
"I'm so sorry, Miss Na," he said, walking over to the bathroom. "I promise to make it up to you but let's not delay this any further. Plus Pil Suh has been very creative lately. He already has five new chapters."
"Five new chapters?"
Shin smiled when he heard the curiosity in her voice. "Yes, five new chapters. He had a sudden burst of inspiration and kept writing all night."
"Okay. But I don't want to sit and wait any longer. Besides, it looks like it's about to rain. Where's your office? Maybe I can quickly pick it up and leave. What's the address?"
He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on to let it run and heat up. "I'm not at the office," he said, testing the water with his fingers.
"Then where are you?" she asked in exasperation.
"Hey, chill. I'm around but just not in an office. I live pretty close to the restaurant so if you don't mind, you can come here instead. Do you have a pen on hand? Let me give you the address."
***
The door opened just as Ji Won raised her hand to knock at it.
"I'm so sorry about this," Shin said as he opened the door wider to let her in. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans and it was obvious to Ji Won that he'd dressed hurriedly because some parts of his t-shirt clung to the moisture on his chest. Plus he was drying his hair with his towel. "Welcome to my home," he joked as he took the towel off his head and slung it over his shoulder. "Why don't I get you those chapters?" he said, turning around and retreating hurriedly to his room.
Ji Won walked in further and looked around his place. It was exactly as she'd expected – clean and angular, with Ikea-style furniture she suspected cost far more than the entire contents of her mother's house. The walls were painted in a beige hue and he had the standard unnecessarily huge plasma television in the living room, polished wooden floors in addition to what appeared to be a real Persian silk rug. His home was understated and somewhat sparse but still had a lot of character. There was a glass shelf behind one of the couches that was filled with what appeared to be differently-sized vases from all four corners of the earth. She was surprised to see that because she'd never pegged him as a collector of anything.
She sat down on the loveseat, surprised by how soft the firm-looking sofa really was. On the mahogany coffee table lay a multitude of remote controls and after looking at them, she curiously picked a small black one that only had two buttons.
"I wonder what this does," she said to herself right before pressing one of the buttons. When she looked around the room and saw no changes, she pressed the other one and watched as a stool almost noiselessly pulled out from underneath the coffee table. She laughed and pressed the first button to push it back in. Just as she was about to pick up another remote control to see what it did, she heard Shin's footsteps.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said.
Embarrassed that she'd been caught playing with his things, she quickly got up then turned around to face him. She sucked in her breath as she took in the sight of him. Okay, what was it about guys with wet hair that weakened her knees so? She ignored her quickening heartbeats and swallowed. Standing there, watching him walk over was the first time she realized that back in Aruba, while they were with the dolphins, when he'd emerged from the water --his hair stuck to his face, his eyes blinking widely and his lips turned up in a reluctant grin-- was when she decided that she wanted to sleep with him. Not because she wanted a fling to dull the pain from being dumped, but for herself. Not as revenge against Joon Young but because she'd been attracted to him and wanted him. Every inch of him. With that in mind, she looked away to hide what she was sure was a face that was now crimson.
Chapter 12
"What is this?" Ji Won roared, holding up her edited first chapter. The thoughts of Aruba and the way he'd kissed her passionately while inside of her had disappeared the second she saw all the red comments Pil Suh had made beside her edits in blue.
After receiving the chapters from Shin, she'd already been on her way out when she took a peek at the contents of the envelope and recognized the first page. She'd pulled it out and there it was -edits of her edits. She turned around to face Shin who'd been walking her to the door.
He jerked back to avoid her hand and raised both of his brows. "What does it look like?" Depending on her reaction, it might prove to be hard to pretend he hadn't written those responses himself but he felt he was up to the challenge.
"He isn't expected to start editing till he's finished the entire book. He was only meant to incorporate my suggestions into future chapters."
Shin crossed his arms and shrugged. "So what? He didn't like them."
At the moment she opened her mouth the reply, they heard the roar of thunder and shortly after, the sound of heavy rain falling.
Ji Won sighed and scratched her head furiously. "Can this day get any worse?" And as if in response, her Shinhwa ringtone blared from her bag. "Excuse me," she said as she pulled out her phone. After reading the caller id, she frowned and muttered, "I guess this day can get worse."
She dropped the phone back into her bag and looked back at the manuscript in her hand but of course, the phone kept ringing.
"Aren't you going to answer it?" Shin asked curiously. Her disorientation was reminiscent of how she'd been the first day they'd met and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. "You can always turn it off if you don't want to answer it."
She smiled at him wearily but didn't do anything. She would have loved to turn it off but since it was technically still work hours, she couldn't so as to make sure she was reachable by her work colleagues. "I'm sure he'll soon give up."
But unfortunately, he didn't.
So after the phone began to ring for the second round, she grabbed it, dropped her bag and the manuscript on the nearest surface then excused herself and walked a few feet away from Shin and next to the window. She flipped it open. "Yes?"
"Hey," Joon Young replied. "You haven't returned my call for over a week. So I decided to give try my luck again. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Do you need something?"
"Nothing much. I just want to call. You know I miss hearing your voice."
Ji Won sighed. Sometimes, she wondered if she was crazy for not blocking his number. There was a month that she'd spent almost every waking hour battling this ssue. She must have blocked and unblocked his number a hundred times but yet in the end, she'd decided to keep taking his calls.
He'd been a huge part of her life for so long and even though on most days, she felt that she was completely over him, there were those random moments, while she was driving or maybe even taking out the trash she'd suddenly feel a sharp pain in her chest and realize that she missed him.
"Ji Won ah," he said, breezily, "let's get back together. This girl I'm seeing… she's beautiful and sweet but it's not the same thing, you know? So let's stop wasting time and get married. I'll show up this time," he joked.
She groaned. Why did he insist on saying things he knew would annoy her? She was about to make a cutting remark when she glanced back and caught Shin looked at her curiously. She look a deep breath in and said, "Look, I'm with a client. Please don't call me unless you have something reasonable to say. Don't make me block your number. Bye." Without waiting for a response, she hung up and turned around.
She apologized again to Shin then glanced at the window. "Since the rain doesn't look like it's letting out, would you mind if I sat here and took a quick look at your client's comments?"
***
Ji Won rubbed her temples and groaned. "Does your client really expect me to do double work? This is ridiculous," she said, reading some of the comments on the sheet. Some of them were valid but most had been rudely phrased. She could understand him being upset by her critiques but he certainly didn't have to be so rude about it. She fell back into her chair and hung her head back in resignation. "I really don't even understand writers and their egos. Doesn't he understand that I'm trying to help him?"
"He does," Shin said watching her closely, "but you also have to remember that you're not editing a cookbook. Maybe you should approach things from a more realistic angle."
Ji Won ignored his comment and flipped over to the next page. "If you don't mind, I'll like to look over this carefully and hand it back to you today. I really don't want to take this back with me. And I hope your client understands I won't be editing each draft twice."
Shin wanted to mention that if she edited each draft properly the first time, there wouldn't be a need for her redo it but all he said was, "Okay."
"Uhm, if you don't mind, I'll like to take a look at this now," she reminded him.
Taking that as his cue to leave, after offering her a drink she refused, he walked over to the living room and switched on the television. As he lay sprawled on the couch, she stayed sitting at the table, and for the next ten or so minutes, the only sounds they heard came from the television and the rain beating against the windows.
After she left, Shin picked up the manuscript she'd returned to him and read the note she'd scribbled at the bottom of the last page:
Mr. Yoon,
How are you doing? I hope all is well and I wish you a speedy recovery.
I read your comments and since we can't speak, I'll respond here.
For starters, I love your work and think that your story is interesting. I'm quite a thorough editor so please, don't mistake my suggestions for insults.
So far, I've noticed a few things about your writing. Since it's a first person POV narration, as you can see, a lot of my comments relate to wanting to 'feel' a bit more of your personality. By rearranging some words and suggesting you expand or contract on some parts, all I'm trying to do is make your writing sparkle.
I don't expect you to start editing till you've finished with your first draft but I only made those suggestions so that you can keep them in mind as you write.
I respect your immense talent so please don't take my comments as a slight or judgment against your writing. The simple fact is that I want us to come up with the best work we've both done so far. Isn't that what every author wants to achieve with every new book? Your name will be on the cover of this book and I just want to help you make it the best it can be. I am more than willing to explain my reasoning and you definitely don't have to incorporate all my suggestions in your rewrite but please be open-minded and flexible and maybe you'll see that some of my comments make sense.
Please, let's both be courteous to each other so that we can have a pleasurable and memorable working experience together.
Take care,
Ji Won.
Shin re-read the note and shook his head. Then he laughed. She sure did know how to be diplomatic about calling him out on his tantrum. Even though he'd been angered by her edits, he did have to grudgingly admit that some of what she's suggested had made a lot of sense. Even though he'd yet to write any new chapters, he picked up a piece of paper and scribbled his reply to her:
Miss Na (may I call you Ji Won)?
You sure know how to put a man in his place. After reading your note, I guess I'd better shut up and take it like a man, huh?
Please excuse my childishness. My ego was bruised by your very busy blue pen. I hope you didn't get carpal tunnel from all that slashing. Please understand that my writing ability gets exalted by everyone (except disgruntled readers on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and every other online bookstore) and your comments reminded me so much of my first hate mail. Okay, my first 100 hate mails. I really don't want to get into it right now but let's just say that it wasn't pretty. But yes, let's work together. How are you, by the way?
Pil Suh.
When Ji Won received the next chapter from Shin, she hadn't been expecting to receive a reply from him and as she was still a few chapters behind, had only seen it by chance. On the next chapter she returned, she scribbled:
Mr. Yoon,
I'm glad we're on the same page. How am I, you asked? Well, I woke up this morning with a huge headache but when I remembered that I had millions of your chapters to edit, I took enough painkillers to last me till the next millennium. Not that I don't love reading your work but don't you rest? Maybe take a break from all that writing and maybe paint. Or do some woodwork. Heck, needlework if you're so inclined. smile.gif I hope you're taking things easy. The only people who call me Miss Na are bill collectors so yes, call me Ji Won.
Ji Won.
Miss Na Ji Won,
First of all, stop calling me "Mr. Yoon." I know I am old but you don't have to keep pointing it out. Pil Suh is fine or Suh if you're feeling lazy. Or just P if you're really, really lazy or need a break after all that editing. So I shall call you Ji Won. It's such a cute name and if you don't mind my saying, fits the owner to a T.
Pil Suh.
P… oh gosh, I'm too tired to write your full name out wink.gif,
If I said "Pil Suh" fit its owner to a T, would that be considered an insult? Hahaha. Just kidding. I apologize for not editing the chapters at the rate you write but I must confess that I do not have super-strength. I just read the chapter about your mother leaving you with your great-grandma's friends after her death and I must admit that I got quite teary. And what made it worse was that you didn't even know she was your mother at the time. From your tone, I suspect that you've since forgiven her. How did you manage to do that? How long did it take? And while you were angry at her, did you still love her? And at one point, did you think that you'd never forgive her? I'm sorry for asking so many questions and if you think I'm being too nosy, please don't answer them and forgiven me.
Ji Won.
Ji Won,
I must say that I've never really held any grudge against my biological mother because by the time I realized who she was, I already knew why she'd left me with my grandmother and in a few chapters, you'll know it too. Well, that's not completely true. I did resent her for a while but I got over it. How? By realizing that my anger couldn't erase the past. Once that sunk in, I moved on. It probably helped that I was also very young, and as you know, everything is far less complicated when you're a child. I won't ask why you're curious because I'm sure it's too personal for you to share.
Now, for something more lighthearted, what is, "please… forgiven me?" You call yourself an editor and you're making more literary blunders than I (or is it, 'than me' Madam Editor, or is it Editoress?) I urge you to read, reread and read again every single word you write to me. I will not accept such sloppiness!
Pil Suh.
Pil Suh,
I apologize, your highness. Madan Editoress apologizes for such a huge blunder. I would explain it all to you, something about a dog and my homework but I suspect you're not interested in hearing how that 'n' snuck in there.
Moving on. Something I've always wondered…
After Shin read the rest of her note, he sat back in his computer chair and stared at the ceiling. In the past few days, receiving more notes from her had been his sole motivation for completing new chapters. What exactly was happening? And was it even normal to be so excited by a few scribbles at the bottom of an 8 by 11 sheet of paper?
***
"I take it that Pil Suh is your type?" Shin asked as he walked alongside Ji Won.
Ji Won was far too interested in reading the contents of the brown envelope he'd just given to her to pay attention to his question.
By now, they'd been exchanging notes for more than two weeks and it had gotten so bad that she usually read them before even looking at his chapters. They'd graduated from short paragraphs to pages and pages of letters and it had been a while any of those additional notes had referred to anything remotely related to writing. She still enjoyed reading and editing his work but those little notes were like caramel on top of her sundae – very sweet and it made her feel all gooey on the inside.
She understood that she was slowly falling for the guy but didn't think that anything would come out of it, not really. After all, he was a huge star, and even though he wasn't conventionally handsome, he could probably still get any woman he wanted.
Besides, it wasn't her style to mix business with pleasure, even though, so far, they'd somehow managed to find a mix that worked. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact it was entirely in text form so it was a somewhat fantastical flirtation – one where they didn't meet or speak. One where she was at home and he was stuck in rehab. She didn't see how it could turn into something real but she was determined to enjoy it for as long as possible.
"So is he your type?" Shin repeated.
Her relationship with Shin almost didn't exist these days because there rarely met for longer than a few minutes as they simply just exchanged envelopes and parted. She found it a little humorous that now she was into reading his client's letters, her attraction to him seemed to wane.
Ji Won looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about?"
Shin looked away. Okay, ever since they'd begun to exchange letters, all those fantasies about trying to avenge his pride had pretty much disappeared. Now, the only thing that could get his mind off wanting to kiss her senselessly, was writing like a demon. But unfortunately (or fortunately?), more writing meant he got to see her often which meant constantly fighting the urge to grab and kiss her till her lips swelled up.
On one hand, he wanted to reveal his true identity so they could stop the World War I-style correspondence and really get to know each other properly. But on the other hand, he had this nagging feeling that she probably only liked "Pil Suh the writer" because she barely acknowledged "Shin" whenever they met. All she cared about was receiving the new chapter and opening up to the last few pages to make sure Pil Suh had sent a new letter.
"Are you going to answer me today?" she asked impatiently, her eyes darting from his face to the chapter in her hand.
Shin ran a nervous hand through the back of his hair and with the other, pointed at the envelope. "I just figured," he said shrugging, "that maybe you liked him a little?"
"How's that any of your business? And why are you reading my stuff?" she asked, immediately holding the envelope to her stomach protectively. "This is private, you know. Please don't read it."
Shin tried to ignore her dismissive tone. "It's not a big deal. I was just curious about the type of guys you like. I guess you like the older, more mature type?"
"Older type? What are you talking—" Her word were cut short by the sight of Joon Young's father. "Abonim," she said, breaking into a smile. She excused herself from Shin, walked over and hugged him.
"Daughter-in-law, how are you?" he teased, hugging her. He'd been out for lunch when he spotted her talking to a tall man in front of a coffee shop. Since he still hoped she'd get back with his son, he'd decided to investigate her relationship with this man. He looked at Shin curiously. "And who might this be?"
"Oh, he's my writer's agent," she said, flinging her empty hand and not looking at him. After both men exchanged pleasantries, she said, "How have you been doing, Abonim? How was your trip?"
"It was lovely," he said, relieved that she was still single. He glanced at Shin who was now frowning then turned back to her. "We all need to go to the country every now and then to remember what it feels like to breathe fresh air. Oh, by the way," he said, pulling her aside, "my stupid son says you guys have been talking again."
Ji Won frowned. "About what?" She glanced at Shin and waved. "Hey, I guess I'll see you later. Call me when Pil Suh's got a new chapter," she said before walking off with Joon Young's father.
***
"What's so funny?" Kyung Ho asked Ji Won.
She looked up from the sheet of Pil Suh's latest letter and smiled. "Nothing. It's just that Suh was telling me a funny story about something that happened to him on a flight to Amsterdam." She leaned forward to him. "So what happened—"
Kyung Ho raised his hand. "Dude, I'm not interested in hearing it. Honestly, I am not interested in hearing any of his stories. As fun as you think they might be, trust me, they aren't. It's probably why Mi Na isn't here yet – she's trying to avoid hearing you recount some boring ass story about…"
Ji Won raised her hand to stop him from talking then shook her head and laughed. "Gosh, you're just jealous."
"Yes, I'm jealous that I am not in a letter-writing relationship with a drug addict? Yeah, you got me," he said, hissing.
All traces of humor left her. "He's not a drug addict. He used to be. Jin Mo told me that he didn't really lapse. Just that he got stressed about working with a new editor and as a result, had very strong craving. He knew he was in danger so he checked himself into the clinic."
Kyung Ho rolled his eyes. "You sure know how to pick 'em. I can't believe you're trying to justify drug abuse."
"How am I justifying anything? And what's your problem? You never had a negative word to say about Joon Young the whole time we were dating so what's this crap about how I know how to pick them? And what's wrong with Suh? You've never even met him and you've already judged him," she said, getting more incensed with every passing moment. And it didn't help that Kyung Ho's sarcastic, bored expression didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon.
"This guy has been honest from the beginning and I think he's sweet," she continued. "What's the big deal? I'm sure nothing will ever come out of it but can I at least have a little fun without you judging me? He's short, chubby, older than I'd like, but he's a successful man who's trying to take responsibility for his life! Why in the world does he deserve your derision? Why?"
Kyung Ho watched her temper rise with increasing interest. He didn't say anything and instead just stared at her.
Ji Won for her part, glared back at him till her face softened as she realized that she'd just let out a mini-tirade.
Kyung Ho remained silent for a few moments before chuckling and saying, "Do you really like him this much?"
Ji Won sighed and hung her head in shame. Did she really like a man she'd only met once? "Yes," she replied sheepishily.
After receiving the chapters from Shin, she'd already been on her way out when she took a peek at the contents of the envelope and recognized the first page. She'd pulled it out and there it was -edits of her edits. She turned around to face Shin who'd been walking her to the door.
He jerked back to avoid her hand and raised both of his brows. "What does it look like?" Depending on her reaction, it might prove to be hard to pretend he hadn't written those responses himself but he felt he was up to the challenge.
"He isn't expected to start editing till he's finished the entire book. He was only meant to incorporate my suggestions into future chapters."
Shin crossed his arms and shrugged. "So what? He didn't like them."
At the moment she opened her mouth the reply, they heard the roar of thunder and shortly after, the sound of heavy rain falling.
Ji Won sighed and scratched her head furiously. "Can this day get any worse?" And as if in response, her Shinhwa ringtone blared from her bag. "Excuse me," she said as she pulled out her phone. After reading the caller id, she frowned and muttered, "I guess this day can get worse."
She dropped the phone back into her bag and looked back at the manuscript in her hand but of course, the phone kept ringing.
"Aren't you going to answer it?" Shin asked curiously. Her disorientation was reminiscent of how she'd been the first day they'd met and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. "You can always turn it off if you don't want to answer it."
She smiled at him wearily but didn't do anything. She would have loved to turn it off but since it was technically still work hours, she couldn't so as to make sure she was reachable by her work colleagues. "I'm sure he'll soon give up."
But unfortunately, he didn't.
So after the phone began to ring for the second round, she grabbed it, dropped her bag and the manuscript on the nearest surface then excused herself and walked a few feet away from Shin and next to the window. She flipped it open. "Yes?"
"Hey," Joon Young replied. "You haven't returned my call for over a week. So I decided to give try my luck again. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Do you need something?"
"Nothing much. I just want to call. You know I miss hearing your voice."
Ji Won sighed. Sometimes, she wondered if she was crazy for not blocking his number. There was a month that she'd spent almost every waking hour battling this ssue. She must have blocked and unblocked his number a hundred times but yet in the end, she'd decided to keep taking his calls.
He'd been a huge part of her life for so long and even though on most days, she felt that she was completely over him, there were those random moments, while she was driving or maybe even taking out the trash she'd suddenly feel a sharp pain in her chest and realize that she missed him.
"Ji Won ah," he said, breezily, "let's get back together. This girl I'm seeing… she's beautiful and sweet but it's not the same thing, you know? So let's stop wasting time and get married. I'll show up this time," he joked.
She groaned. Why did he insist on saying things he knew would annoy her? She was about to make a cutting remark when she glanced back and caught Shin looked at her curiously. She look a deep breath in and said, "Look, I'm with a client. Please don't call me unless you have something reasonable to say. Don't make me block your number. Bye." Without waiting for a response, she hung up and turned around.
She apologized again to Shin then glanced at the window. "Since the rain doesn't look like it's letting out, would you mind if I sat here and took a quick look at your client's comments?"
***
Ji Won rubbed her temples and groaned. "Does your client really expect me to do double work? This is ridiculous," she said, reading some of the comments on the sheet. Some of them were valid but most had been rudely phrased. She could understand him being upset by her critiques but he certainly didn't have to be so rude about it. She fell back into her chair and hung her head back in resignation. "I really don't even understand writers and their egos. Doesn't he understand that I'm trying to help him?"
"He does," Shin said watching her closely, "but you also have to remember that you're not editing a cookbook. Maybe you should approach things from a more realistic angle."
Ji Won ignored his comment and flipped over to the next page. "If you don't mind, I'll like to look over this carefully and hand it back to you today. I really don't want to take this back with me. And I hope your client understands I won't be editing each draft twice."
Shin wanted to mention that if she edited each draft properly the first time, there wouldn't be a need for her redo it but all he said was, "Okay."
"Uhm, if you don't mind, I'll like to take a look at this now," she reminded him.
Taking that as his cue to leave, after offering her a drink she refused, he walked over to the living room and switched on the television. As he lay sprawled on the couch, she stayed sitting at the table, and for the next ten or so minutes, the only sounds they heard came from the television and the rain beating against the windows.
After she left, Shin picked up the manuscript she'd returned to him and read the note she'd scribbled at the bottom of the last page:
Mr. Yoon,
How are you doing? I hope all is well and I wish you a speedy recovery.
I read your comments and since we can't speak, I'll respond here.
For starters, I love your work and think that your story is interesting. I'm quite a thorough editor so please, don't mistake my suggestions for insults.
So far, I've noticed a few things about your writing. Since it's a first person POV narration, as you can see, a lot of my comments relate to wanting to 'feel' a bit more of your personality. By rearranging some words and suggesting you expand or contract on some parts, all I'm trying to do is make your writing sparkle.
I don't expect you to start editing till you've finished with your first draft but I only made those suggestions so that you can keep them in mind as you write.
I respect your immense talent so please don't take my comments as a slight or judgment against your writing. The simple fact is that I want us to come up with the best work we've both done so far. Isn't that what every author wants to achieve with every new book? Your name will be on the cover of this book and I just want to help you make it the best it can be. I am more than willing to explain my reasoning and you definitely don't have to incorporate all my suggestions in your rewrite but please be open-minded and flexible and maybe you'll see that some of my comments make sense.
Please, let's both be courteous to each other so that we can have a pleasurable and memorable working experience together.
Take care,
Ji Won.
Shin re-read the note and shook his head. Then he laughed. She sure did know how to be diplomatic about calling him out on his tantrum. Even though he'd been angered by her edits, he did have to grudgingly admit that some of what she's suggested had made a lot of sense. Even though he'd yet to write any new chapters, he picked up a piece of paper and scribbled his reply to her:
Miss Na (may I call you Ji Won)?
You sure know how to put a man in his place. After reading your note, I guess I'd better shut up and take it like a man, huh?
Please excuse my childishness. My ego was bruised by your very busy blue pen. I hope you didn't get carpal tunnel from all that slashing. Please understand that my writing ability gets exalted by everyone (except disgruntled readers on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and every other online bookstore) and your comments reminded me so much of my first hate mail. Okay, my first 100 hate mails. I really don't want to get into it right now but let's just say that it wasn't pretty. But yes, let's work together. How are you, by the way?
Pil Suh.
When Ji Won received the next chapter from Shin, she hadn't been expecting to receive a reply from him and as she was still a few chapters behind, had only seen it by chance. On the next chapter she returned, she scribbled:
Mr. Yoon,
I'm glad we're on the same page. How am I, you asked? Well, I woke up this morning with a huge headache but when I remembered that I had millions of your chapters to edit, I took enough painkillers to last me till the next millennium. Not that I don't love reading your work but don't you rest? Maybe take a break from all that writing and maybe paint. Or do some woodwork. Heck, needlework if you're so inclined. smile.gif I hope you're taking things easy. The only people who call me Miss Na are bill collectors so yes, call me Ji Won.
Ji Won.
Miss Na Ji Won,
First of all, stop calling me "Mr. Yoon." I know I am old but you don't have to keep pointing it out. Pil Suh is fine or Suh if you're feeling lazy. Or just P if you're really, really lazy or need a break after all that editing. So I shall call you Ji Won. It's such a cute name and if you don't mind my saying, fits the owner to a T.
Pil Suh.
P… oh gosh, I'm too tired to write your full name out wink.gif,
If I said "Pil Suh" fit its owner to a T, would that be considered an insult? Hahaha. Just kidding. I apologize for not editing the chapters at the rate you write but I must confess that I do not have super-strength. I just read the chapter about your mother leaving you with your great-grandma's friends after her death and I must admit that I got quite teary. And what made it worse was that you didn't even know she was your mother at the time. From your tone, I suspect that you've since forgiven her. How did you manage to do that? How long did it take? And while you were angry at her, did you still love her? And at one point, did you think that you'd never forgive her? I'm sorry for asking so many questions and if you think I'm being too nosy, please don't answer them and forgiven me.
Ji Won.
Ji Won,
I must say that I've never really held any grudge against my biological mother because by the time I realized who she was, I already knew why she'd left me with my grandmother and in a few chapters, you'll know it too. Well, that's not completely true. I did resent her for a while but I got over it. How? By realizing that my anger couldn't erase the past. Once that sunk in, I moved on. It probably helped that I was also very young, and as you know, everything is far less complicated when you're a child. I won't ask why you're curious because I'm sure it's too personal for you to share.
Now, for something more lighthearted, what is, "please… forgiven me?" You call yourself an editor and you're making more literary blunders than I (or is it, 'than me' Madam Editor, or is it Editoress?) I urge you to read, reread and read again every single word you write to me. I will not accept such sloppiness!
Pil Suh.
Pil Suh,
I apologize, your highness. Madan Editoress apologizes for such a huge blunder. I would explain it all to you, something about a dog and my homework but I suspect you're not interested in hearing how that 'n' snuck in there.
Moving on. Something I've always wondered…
After Shin read the rest of her note, he sat back in his computer chair and stared at the ceiling. In the past few days, receiving more notes from her had been his sole motivation for completing new chapters. What exactly was happening? And was it even normal to be so excited by a few scribbles at the bottom of an 8 by 11 sheet of paper?
***
"I take it that Pil Suh is your type?" Shin asked as he walked alongside Ji Won.
Ji Won was far too interested in reading the contents of the brown envelope he'd just given to her to pay attention to his question.
By now, they'd been exchanging notes for more than two weeks and it had gotten so bad that she usually read them before even looking at his chapters. They'd graduated from short paragraphs to pages and pages of letters and it had been a while any of those additional notes had referred to anything remotely related to writing. She still enjoyed reading and editing his work but those little notes were like caramel on top of her sundae – very sweet and it made her feel all gooey on the inside.
She understood that she was slowly falling for the guy but didn't think that anything would come out of it, not really. After all, he was a huge star, and even though he wasn't conventionally handsome, he could probably still get any woman he wanted.
Besides, it wasn't her style to mix business with pleasure, even though, so far, they'd somehow managed to find a mix that worked. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact it was entirely in text form so it was a somewhat fantastical flirtation – one where they didn't meet or speak. One where she was at home and he was stuck in rehab. She didn't see how it could turn into something real but she was determined to enjoy it for as long as possible.
"So is he your type?" Shin repeated.
Her relationship with Shin almost didn't exist these days because there rarely met for longer than a few minutes as they simply just exchanged envelopes and parted. She found it a little humorous that now she was into reading his client's letters, her attraction to him seemed to wane.
Ji Won looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about?"
Shin looked away. Okay, ever since they'd begun to exchange letters, all those fantasies about trying to avenge his pride had pretty much disappeared. Now, the only thing that could get his mind off wanting to kiss her senselessly, was writing like a demon. But unfortunately (or fortunately?), more writing meant he got to see her often which meant constantly fighting the urge to grab and kiss her till her lips swelled up.
On one hand, he wanted to reveal his true identity so they could stop the World War I-style correspondence and really get to know each other properly. But on the other hand, he had this nagging feeling that she probably only liked "Pil Suh the writer" because she barely acknowledged "Shin" whenever they met. All she cared about was receiving the new chapter and opening up to the last few pages to make sure Pil Suh had sent a new letter.
"Are you going to answer me today?" she asked impatiently, her eyes darting from his face to the chapter in her hand.
Shin ran a nervous hand through the back of his hair and with the other, pointed at the envelope. "I just figured," he said shrugging, "that maybe you liked him a little?"
"How's that any of your business? And why are you reading my stuff?" she asked, immediately holding the envelope to her stomach protectively. "This is private, you know. Please don't read it."
Shin tried to ignore her dismissive tone. "It's not a big deal. I was just curious about the type of guys you like. I guess you like the older, more mature type?"
"Older type? What are you talking—" Her word were cut short by the sight of Joon Young's father. "Abonim," she said, breaking into a smile. She excused herself from Shin, walked over and hugged him.
"Daughter-in-law, how are you?" he teased, hugging her. He'd been out for lunch when he spotted her talking to a tall man in front of a coffee shop. Since he still hoped she'd get back with his son, he'd decided to investigate her relationship with this man. He looked at Shin curiously. "And who might this be?"
"Oh, he's my writer's agent," she said, flinging her empty hand and not looking at him. After both men exchanged pleasantries, she said, "How have you been doing, Abonim? How was your trip?"
"It was lovely," he said, relieved that she was still single. He glanced at Shin who was now frowning then turned back to her. "We all need to go to the country every now and then to remember what it feels like to breathe fresh air. Oh, by the way," he said, pulling her aside, "my stupid son says you guys have been talking again."
Ji Won frowned. "About what?" She glanced at Shin and waved. "Hey, I guess I'll see you later. Call me when Pil Suh's got a new chapter," she said before walking off with Joon Young's father.
***
"What's so funny?" Kyung Ho asked Ji Won.
She looked up from the sheet of Pil Suh's latest letter and smiled. "Nothing. It's just that Suh was telling me a funny story about something that happened to him on a flight to Amsterdam." She leaned forward to him. "So what happened—"
Kyung Ho raised his hand. "Dude, I'm not interested in hearing it. Honestly, I am not interested in hearing any of his stories. As fun as you think they might be, trust me, they aren't. It's probably why Mi Na isn't here yet – she's trying to avoid hearing you recount some boring ass story about…"
Ji Won raised her hand to stop him from talking then shook her head and laughed. "Gosh, you're just jealous."
"Yes, I'm jealous that I am not in a letter-writing relationship with a drug addict? Yeah, you got me," he said, hissing.
All traces of humor left her. "He's not a drug addict. He used to be. Jin Mo told me that he didn't really lapse. Just that he got stressed about working with a new editor and as a result, had very strong craving. He knew he was in danger so he checked himself into the clinic."
Kyung Ho rolled his eyes. "You sure know how to pick 'em. I can't believe you're trying to justify drug abuse."
"How am I justifying anything? And what's your problem? You never had a negative word to say about Joon Young the whole time we were dating so what's this crap about how I know how to pick them? And what's wrong with Suh? You've never even met him and you've already judged him," she said, getting more incensed with every passing moment. And it didn't help that Kyung Ho's sarcastic, bored expression didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon.
"This guy has been honest from the beginning and I think he's sweet," she continued. "What's the big deal? I'm sure nothing will ever come out of it but can I at least have a little fun without you judging me? He's short, chubby, older than I'd like, but he's a successful man who's trying to take responsibility for his life! Why in the world does he deserve your derision? Why?"
Kyung Ho watched her temper rise with increasing interest. He didn't say anything and instead just stared at her.
Ji Won for her part, glared back at him till her face softened as she realized that she'd just let out a mini-tirade.
Kyung Ho remained silent for a few moments before chuckling and saying, "Do you really like him this much?"
Ji Won sighed and hung her head in shame. Did she really like a man she'd only met once? "Yes," she replied sheepishily.
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