The Honeymoon

Update

2011-01-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

As of November 9, 2010, this fic is complete. YIPPIE!

Chapter 1

2010-12-31T09:37:00.000-08:00

"Okay, I'm ready," Ji Won said, taking off her robe. A few months earlier, she'd have been shy about walking around in her bra and panties but after three months of intense dieting and exercising, she wouldn't admit it publicly, but she wished she had more opportunities to show off her abs.

"I never get why brides always get their make-up done before wearing their gowns," her best friend, Eun Hee, wondered as she took out the hanger from the ivory satin spaghetti strapped gown. It had an asymmetrical beaded bodice that fell onto a full chiffon skirt and according to the dressmaker, was a one-of-a-kind. "Shouldn't they wear their dress before the make-up?"

"No," the mother of the bride said. "Because you don't want to mistakenly stain the dress. Which bride wants to walk down the aisle with a huge glob of foundation on her chest?"

"Plus wearing the gown has to be the last thing. How will you ooh and aah soon after the bride wears the dress if her face still looks like crap?" the bride's sister asked. "You need the full effect," she said dramatically.

"I'm still ready," Ji Won reminded them. She was just dying to wear her dress. "And Eun Hee has a point. What if my dress gets stained by all this make-up?" She pointed at her face. The artist had done a great job and she didn't want to undo it by mistakenly wiping her face with her dress.

Her mother sighed audibly. "Am I the only person with a brain here? Lightly place this towel," she said, handing over one of the hotel's hand towels, "on your face, stretch your hands out and we'll try to get this on you as quickly as possible."

After a few minutes of very careful tugging and stretching, Ji Won stood still as her mother zipped her up.

"Aww," the chorus began. She wasn't the first girl in their gang to get married but every bride was Miss Universe on her big day. "You look so beautiful!"

She laughed when she saw the tears in her mother's eyes then turned around and looked at her reflection in the mirror. At 5'8, she was quite tall by her family's standards and even though she argued that her figure fit frame, she was also normally a bit large in comparison to her sister and her mother. But not anymore, she thought, twirling around and laughing as the huge shirt created a breeze around her. She'd managed to drop one size to become a size 2/4 and was loving every bit of it.

"You're going to get dizzy!" her mother warned, grabbing her shoulder to stop her. She dragged her and put her in her dressing chair. "Let M-m…," she stammered, glancing at the make-up artist as she tried to remember her name. It wasn't that she didn't care to learn it but her brain was already brimming with the emotions created from seeing her first daughter getting ready to leave her. "Let her touch up your make-up so that we can head out to the church. We don't want to keep the groom waiting."

***

As the hairstylist teased her curls, Ji Won stared at herself in the mirror. After 4 years of dating and 1 year of wedding planning, she was about to get married to the man of her dreams.

She looked at her huge square cut diamond ring and smirked. Man of her dreams? More like the man of every woman's dreams. And she wasn't just saying that, after all, he'd been named one of Seoul's eligible bachelors by a publication. Granted, it was her college alumni's newsletter but it still counted. At 6'1, lean, handsome and generous, he was pretty much the type of guy romance novels were written about – and he knew it too. When they fought, she found his arrogance annoying but other times, she was proud of his self-confidence. He was smart, thorough and unyielding about his needs, which was why he was one of the rising stars at his investment bank and why Ji Won had worn her hair in curls for almost five years now.

"Ouch," she yelped as the tip of the curling iron touched her scalp. "I thought you were already done with my hair!"

"I'm just doing the finishing touches," the unsympathetic hairstylist said. The client's hair was much longer than she's expected so it had taken an unusually long time to do.

Ji Won turned her attention back to her reflection. She'd always been regarded as pretty and now that she'd lost some weight, her cheekbones had become more pronounced. She was a balanced combination of her parents – taking her mother's bright brown eyes and pert nose and her father's very distinct heart shaped but thin lips. Before meeting Joon Young, she'd always tried to create the illusion of fuller lips with her lip liner and lipstick but she stopped after he insisted that he loved her just the way she'd been created. How cute was that?

She readjusted her butt on the chair and sighed dreamily. He wasn't the man she'd have picked out for herself but apparently, God had much greater plans.

Their initial meeting had been one of those magical moments. She'd only just started working as a copy editor at her company, had stopped at Starbucks for a coffee and been delayed by the long line. As she ran down the street in an attempt to get to work before her demanding boss, she'd bumped into him and spilled her tall caramel macchiato down his crisp, white shirt.

Being the gentleman that he was, instead of becoming irate, he'd given her his card and been very gracious about letting her pay for his dry cleaning. The next day, when she'd dropped by his office to pick up his stained shirt, he'd insisted on taking her out to lunch and the rest, as they said, was history.

Her mother bent over and placed her head over her daughter's shoulder. "Ready?" she asked her daughter's reflection.

She nodded. "Yes, I'm ready."

As her mother stood up, Ji Won reflected on what she'd just said. After all the stress and aggravation that had come with planning the wedding, she'd found the perfect dress, perfect hall, perfect cake, perfect centerpieces, perfect flowers and they'd all complemented the perfect man.

She suddenly jumped off her chair. Hell yeah, she was ready. "I'M GETTING MARRIED!" she yelled before all the women in the room gathered around and hugged her.

***

"You're so beautiful," Kyung Ho said, covering his mouth with his hands as he started at her in awe. She'd just walked out of the hotel and was about to get into the waiting limo.

She reached over and hugged him. "Thank you, boo." She shook her head and laughed when she noticed the tears developing in his eyes. She'd always thought of him as her gay best friend even though he only dated women. Aside from that minor detail, he cried at movies, loved to go shopping, was always the first with the latest gossip, advised her on men, always agreed to pretend to be cultured at museums and art galleries and was always there to lend his shoulder when she needed it. Some people liked to call him a girl with a penis but Ji Won didn't quite agree with that description. Nonetheless, she knew that his assistance with planning the wedding had been invaluable and regretted that she couldn't have made him a bridesmaid - not that he would have agreed.

"Ready to take the deepest plunge of your life?" he teased.

She took a deep breath. "Ready as I'll ever be."

He took her hand and with the help of Eun Hee, got her and her yards and yards of chiffon inside the car. He shut the door and waved. "See you at the church!"

***

"What time is it?" Kyung Ho asked.

"Add five minutes to what I said last time," Ji Won's sister snapped.

It had been two hours since she'd arrived at the church and Ji Won's make-up had already begun to bleed. She looked at the cell phone Joon Young had given her a few months earlier and wondered if she should pick it up. She'd already called him at least fifteen times in the last hour and wasn't ready to hear his voicemail yet again. His parents were also bewildered by his absence and the groomsmen said that everything had been fine when they left him earlier in the day. So why weren't he or his best man answering their phones?

Ji Won drummed her fingers on the table as she tried to rack her brain for an explanation. She'd initially chuckled at the idea that he'd picked the worst time to prove to the rest of the world that he too could be tardy. But two hours? That was just plain ridiculous. Had they gotten into an accident? She'd suggested calling all the local hospitals but everyone had told her to wait a little longer. But if nothing was wrong, why wasn't he calling her?

The door creaked open and Ji Won's mother stuck her head in. She gave her daughter the thumbs up. "Hang in there, Honey," she encouraged, her shaky voice betraying her true feelings. "With the rain, the traffic must be hell now."

Ji Won nodded. "I'm sure you're right, Umma." It had rained shortly after she arrived at the church but it hadn't lasted for more than fifteen minutes.

"Of course I'm right." Her mother grinned. "Be patient. I'll just go out there and keep Joon Young's parents company."

As soon as she shut the door, the room once again fell into silence.

"What time is it?" Kyung Ho asked about two minutes later.

What time was it? Ji Won glanced at her watch. It was getting closer and closer to the time dread would begin to set in.

Chapter 2

2010-12-30T09:38:00.000-08:00

About two and a half hours into waiting for the groom, there was a knock on the door. Ji Won glanced at the rest of the room's occupants then told the person to enter.

The door slowly opened as Michael, Joon Young's best man and best friend since college walked into the room. Ji Won had never liked him much and had been cordial to him simply because of his relationship with her fiancé but at that moment, she'd never been so glad to see anyone.

She jumped out of her chair and ran to him, holding onto her gown to keep from tripping over the train. "What's going on?

He took a deep breath and tried to avoid her eyes. He'd just come back from trying to convince Joon Young to go through with the wedding and he knew he didn't have the energy to watch Ji Won's heart break. He just couldn't understand why his friend had to wait till the worst possible time to decide he wasn't ready. Michael couldn't help but blame himself for his friend's change of heart – maybe he shouldn't have gone drinking with him the previous night and teased him about losing his freedom. Maybe if he had shut his mouth about all the girls Joon Young would never get to sleep with and how he no longer was in complete control of his life, they'd have been at the reception by now. But instead, he was trying to keep himself from shaking like a leaf in a tornado so that he could articulately relay the awful news to her.

"So where is he?" she asked anxiously. "Is he okay? Why haven't you been answering your phones? What's going on?" she asked, shaking him, trying to get him to speak. "Why didn't he come with you? Is he sick? What's going on?!!?"

As she shook and badgered him, watching his eyes dart around as his lips quivered, realization finally set in. Why else would Michael look at her with embarrassed eyes as he struggled to come up with words?

***

"No, I'll do it," Kyung Ho said, blocking her path. "Why should you go in there and say this? How does that make sense?" he yelled. "Let me do it!"

It wasn't the time for him to finally get all macho on her and Ji Won just wasn't having it. She pushed him away and walked through the door. Hello, it wasn't like it was any bride's dream to go in front of a church in her full regalia and tell all her friends and family, those who'd flown in from far and wide, some she'd never even met, that she'd been jilted at the altar.

Jilted.

Jilted.

As in abandoned. Discarded. Thrown out. Ditched. Dissed. No, not just dissed but diss-missed.

In a million years she wouldn't have imagined this. Kang Ji Won? The girl who'd never been dumped by a guy? The one who still received letters from her second boyfriend?

But why? What had she done? Joon Young had been as interested in the wedding as she was, always suggesting things, nixing ideas, making sure that everything was up to his standards, not worrying about the monetary burden because it was supposed to be their day. Their special day. The most important and happiest day of their lives. But he'd fu.cked it all up.

Her mother tried to stop her from walking into the church but she ignored her. Was she going to be less embarrassed if someone else relayed the news? Told them that they'd wasted their time getting dressed that morning? That they shouldn't have bothered RSVPing? That they shouldn't have thought about their gifts? Gifts. Sh.it. Now she'd have to return all their cash and gifts. Fu.ck.

She pushed open the double doors and as she walked in, the organist started playing Here Comes The Bride.

Okay, was he retarded? What kind of bride walked down the aisle alone? She wanted to scream at the old man for playing that disgusting song but instead, she raised her hand and hoped he understood the message.

And luckily he did.

The bored and tired audience suddenly awoke as she walked down the aisle towards a bare altar. It wasn't exactly a surprise to most of them and they'd only remained in their seats out of courtesy. Of course the wedding wasn't on. Most had long since been hungry as they'd skipped lunch in anticipation of the reception. Word had gotten around that Ji Won's family had hired one of Seoul's premiere chefs and they were all hoping that he lived up to the hype. But now they'd have to make do with drive-thru fastfood.

Ji Won picked up the microphone. Yes, she could do it. It wasn't impossible - it could be done. And had been done by other women before her. She'd just have to dig deep and find her inner strength. She inhaled then turned around to face the crowd. She planted a smile of her face and waved at them. "Hello everyone," she began in what she hoped was a very steady voice. "Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy lives to celebrate my wedding today. Unfortunately, the groom can't be here so the wedding is canceled. I really apologize for the inconvenience but hey, I look great, don't you think?" she asked, twirling around to showcase the gown. Her heart was beating like mad but she ignored it.

The crowd responded by clapping.

"Since there won't be a wedding, how about a celebration of life? My life, your life, everyone's life?"

The crowd cheered again. They could see she was trying to make the best of the situation and they just wanted to make her feel better. Most felt nothing but pity for her and suddenly all their little troubles seemed to pale in comparison. At least, they hadn't been abandoned at the altar.

"Chef Lee is going to be so upset if all his food goes to waste so why don't we just go to the reception and have a big party? After spending so long planning this thing, I need you all to see my decorations and taste the raspberry cake my mother chose. Let's all head there now. The address is on your programs."

***

"I'm so sorry," Kyung Ho said as he hugged her. His girlfriend did the same then they both stood in front of her, alternating their weight from foot to foot, both reluctant to leave. On a different day, Ji Won would have laughed at them because if they were underwater, they'd have looked like synchronized swimmers.

"You guys can go. I'll be okay."

"But I don't want to leave you in this hotel room all by yourself. Why don't you just go home?" he begged.

"We already paid for the room so why should it go to waste?" Besides, she needed some peace and quiet. She'd spent the whole day being fawned over and now she just needed them to leave. She was bone tired and needed to sleep.

She gently shoved him towards the door. "You guys should go. I'm really okay so don't worry. I honestly believe it's for the best." She paused and looked at the bed. "Or do you want to help me get rid of them?" she half-joked, pointing at her sister, Mi Na, and best friend, Eun Hee.

The guests had been great and almost all had shown up for the reception. They'd eaten and danced and tried their best to put her hearts and souls into the so-called celebration of life. And Ji Won might had succeeded if soon after Mina and Eun Hee had helped hand out the cake and goodie bags, they hadn't come up to her room and let out all their frustration.

The crying had been going on for over ten minutes and Ji Won was sure that they'd managed to give themselves headaches.

"You guys need to go. Now," she pressed.

Mina and Eun Hee got off the bed and hugged her, not caring that their tear stained faces were wetting her cheeks.

"What a fu.cking bastard!" Eun Hee muttered. "He'd better not show up or I'll kill him."

Mina disentangled herself from the hug. "As soon as I leave here, I'm going to stake his apartment. If he dares show up, he's dead!" she said with determination her sister had never seen.

Ji Won sighed. "If we weren't meant to be, isn't it better that we didn't get married? If he's not sure that he wants to marry me, then it's better this way."

"But how can't he be sure? You're awesome!" Eun Hee cried before letting out a fresh batch of tears.

After some more coaxing, they finally left Ji Won to her solitude.

She locked the door then walked into the bathroom and washed her face. She stared at her reflection and now that she was all alone, she no longer had to pretend to be unaffected. She stared at her brown eyes. Was that really the face of a rejected woman?

She walked back into the room and jumped on the soft king size bed then turned on the television. She kept flicking channels till the actor, Lee Dong Wook's face appeared on screen. She'd always liked him since 'My Girl' so she checked the details of the movie.

Great.

Was she honestly about to watch a movie called 'Best Couple'?

Frustrated, she threw the remote control at the television, but unluckily, missed it by an inch. But come on. Best Couple? She and Joon Young were supposed to be the best couple. It had been Ji Won and Joon Young for so many years. They'd been the couple all their friends admired and envied. They were the couple everyone else aspired to be. They laughed and played together, supported each other. Loved each other. But there she was on her wedding night, wearing last night's clothes and watching some screechy-voiced woman stab Dong Wook with a stick.

Why?

Fu.ck!

Had he really ditched her?

Without a word?

Not even a phone call?

He'd disappeared. Just like that. Couldn't even care less about informing her of his change of plans.

Poof!

Into thin air.

Bastard.

She picked up her pillow and threw it against the wall. But she still felt like shi.t. And he was still an as.s. He'd even made her mother cry. She reached down for her shoe and threw it at the bathroom door. He'd embarrassed her entire family. She grabbed the hotel brochure and threw it on the floor. Then she kept throwing every single thing she could get her hands on. Till there was nothing left. Then she stopped and the tears flowed. And flowed. All night long.

Chapter 3

2010-12-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

Thank you," Mrs. Kang told the concierge as he opened the door. After knocking at the door and calling for Ji Won continuously for ten minutes with no response, she'd gone down to the front desk to ask them to let her in. Initially, they had refused, citing guest privacy, but after hearing about what had happened the previous day, they'd agreed.

She hadn't been pleased with Ji Won's decision to stay at the hotel so as soon as she got up after a sleepless night, she made sure she prepared her daughter's favorite dishes to help cheer her up. Then she was bringing her home with her. Enough was enough. She'd already promised herself that she wouldn't let Ji Won go back to her apartment and spend her nights reliving the times they spent together. Regardless of how much she insisted she could handle it, it wasn't the time for her daughter to be alone. She was coming back home and that was that.

But five minutes into knocking the door and calling her cell phone, the older woman had begun to panic. Ji Won wasn't the type to do anything drastic but then again, these weren't normal circumstances.

Pushing the door open, she absentmindedly handed the concierge a bill from her purse, not even bothering to see what it was then tentatively stepped into the room.

Her heart settled and she let out a sigh of relief when she saw her daughter's gently heaving chest lying across the bed then looked around the room.

She tried her best to stop the tears as she looked at the mess. Her poor daughter. From time to time, she wondered what kind of job she'd done training her daughters and if she'd done the right thing but not providing a father figure for them.

She'd been thirty-two with two young children when her husband had died and even though over the years, there'd been other men who'd shown an interest in her, she'd refused to date. It wasn't that she believed that widowed women shouldn't date but just that her husband, Hee Chul, had been it for her. He'd been the love of her life for ten years and she'd chosen to cherish those years instead of marring them by introducing another man to their lives.

She bent down and picked up the mini bottles of vodka and other alcoholic drinks. A tear dropped down her cheek as she imagined the pain her daughter must have experienced the night before and hoped that what looked like the entire contents of the mini bar had at least helped dull the pain a little. Maybe it was her fault, she thought as she threw the bottles in the trash and went about cleaning up the room. Maybe if they'd had a man around, Joon Young wouldn't have been able to charm him with his looks and smarts and he'd have been able to see him for the snake he really was.

***

"Wake up, Honey. Wake up."

Ji Won was awoken by the gentle shakes of her mother. As it had been a few years since she'd lived at home, she was about to ask her what she was doing in her room till her headache hit and all the memories flooded her.

"Umma, what do you want?" she asked before she turned around to back her. The previous night had been bad enough and the last thing she wanted to do was spend the day watching everyone giving her sympathetic looks and using sickening clichés to make her feel better. She just wanted to lie in bed, order room service and pretend that nothing had happened.

She'd spent the past few weeks packing for the move to the house she and Ji Won had rented and she wasn't in the mood to go back and start unpacking. A few days in denial were all she needed, she thought as she pulled the comforter over her head.

"Ji Won ah, get up. If you go and take a shower, I'll give you what I brought," her mother said in the baby voice she hadn't used with her since she was five years old.

"Umma, just leave me alone," she said, her voice muffled by the pillow.

Her mother shook her gently again. After cleaning up the room, she'd sat and watched her sleeping daughter and tried to find the courage to put up a brave front but every time she thought she was ready, a few tears had escaped her eyes so it had taken her about thirty minutes to get to her current state.

"Ji Won ah…."

"Please leave me alone. I just need to sleep a little."

"It's already past 3 o'clock," her mother pointed out.

"I slept late last night. Please leave me alone," she begged.

Her mother reached across to brush her hair with her fingers but Ji Won pushed her hand off. Didn't her mother realize that sympathizing with her only made her feel worse? Didn't she understand that she would only feel worse from seeing her mother pretend to be optimistic?"

"You should at least eat something."

"I will."

"Is there a microwave oven in here? Maybe I can ask the hotel employees to warm some food up for you."

"Don't worry about it. Leave the food here and I'll do it myself."

"Will you at least take a shower?"

"I will, Umma."

"Now?"

"Umma!" she said, suddenly turning over and sitting up. "Umma, I'll do everything."

On seeing her face for the first time, her mother tried her best to keep her cool but she couldn't stop herself after seeing her daughter's bloodshot and puffy eyes. What had that young man done to her? "I'll leave as soon as you take a shower, okay? I won't make you come home with me but please get out of bed for a while. Just take a shower, eat something and let me leave here knowing that you're okay. Please."

***

The phone rang as Ji Won walked out of the room. She groaned and put on her robe. She loved that everyone wanted to reach out to her and offer their support but wished they understood that she wasn't ready.

Her mother turned to her. "Are you expecting a call?"

"No," she started to say before she got an idea. "Umma, can you do me a favor?" she whispered.

"What?" her mother asked curiously, automatically lowering the pitch of her voice to match hers.

"Can you find out who that is and tell them I'm not here?"

Her mother looked at her sadly. "Ji Won ah, they're only calling because they love you—"

"I know," she interrupted, "but I am not in the mood to talk to anyone. So please tell whoever it is that I'll call them later."

Her mother gave her once last look then reached for the phone. "Hello?" After a moment, she put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked up at Ji Won. "Did you order a taxi?"

She shook her head. "No."

Her mother shrugged. "Maybe it's a mistake." She took her hand off and spoke into the phone. "Hello, I think you might—"

"Wait!" Ji Won interrupted, suddenly noticing the neatly packed pair of suitcases filled with brand new clothes next to the air conditioner. "It's my cab to the airport."

Her mother's face colored for a moment before she moved the phone closer to her mouth. "Can you please apologize to the cabdriver? Our plans have changed and we won't be needing their services any longer," she said before hanging up.

Her mother stared at her for a few moments before planting her fake smile on her face. It was sad because she remembered going shopping with Ji Won for her vacation clothes and how much she'd looked forward to visiting Aruba.

Her mother watched Ji Won as a barrage of emotions shot through her face till just she suddenly jumped across and picked up the phone. She dialed 0 and waited for the line to be answered. "Hello? This is room 1245. I think you just called me. Yes. Yes. Please tell the cab driver to wait for me. I'll be down there in about ten minutes. Thanks!"

A/N: Thanks for reading, as previously mentioned, it'll be difficult for me to update till the 24th (I had to squeeze this in). I know there are probably some typos so please forgive me. Take care!

Chapter 4

2010-12-28T21:36:00.000-08:00

Ji Won handed her passport to the airline employee behind the check-in counter. "It's an electronic ticket," she informed the heavily lipsticked lady.

The lady took it from her then typed the information in as Ji Won placed her luggage on the scale to be weighed. The lady read the information on the screen and looked up at her. "It looks like you've already chosen your seats. Is that your companion?" she asked, pointing at the next person in line.

She turned to look before she realized who her supposed companion was. She took a deep breath in and said, "No."

"Na Joon Young. Will he be checking in shortly?" the lady asked, oblivious of the expression on her customer's face.

"No. I'm traveling alone."

"Oh, I see," the lady said, before typing some more on her computer. "I see you bought a flexible ticket. Do you want to change the other ticket's date so you don't lose the first half of it? We can only refund tickets if you make changes before the confirmed flight date. Let me see," she said, hitting the keys with zeal. She'd always been very careful with money and loved helping passengers use the system to avoid getting taken advantage of by her greedy employer. "I can just switch it to another day. Let me—"

Was this woman kidding her? she wondered as she balled her hand into a fist. Couldn't she take a damn hint? "It's fine. Just check me—"

"Yes!" the lady exclaimed with pride. "I can move it to next weekend but you have to be sure to call the airline before then to switch it to your preferred date. I'll print—"

"Miss!" Ji Won yelled. "Just check me in, okay?" She pointed at herself. "I already told you that I am traveling alone so just check me in so I can go to the gate and not miss my flight!"

"Yes, Ma'am." The lady maintained a smile on her face even though she was boiling on the inside. So much for kindness. A childhood friend had hooked her up with the job, telling her that working there would be a piece of cake but day after day, she had to deal with irate passengers. What was so wrong with what she had done? She picked up the baggage tag from the printer and placed it on the bag then hit the button for the conveyor belt. "Fu.ck this place," she said under her breath. Maybe it was time to get back to waitressing.

***

"Enjoy your meal," the air stewardess said after handing Ji Won a tray of food. Since she was flying business class, she got to use real silverware and drink from a real glass so as she looked at her plate of lasagna, she hoped it tasted half as good as the salmon looked sitting on the plate a few seats from her. She turned back to look at the browned cheese on her plate and promised herself to take a better look at the menu on her return flight.

She'd planned on enjoying her flight but it had been quite bumpy so far and the 'fasten seat belt' sign was permanently on. Plus it certainly didn't help that the empty seat next to hers was a constant reminder that she really was all alone in the world. Like really.

The trip had been a wedding present from his family and Joon Young had taken charge of planning it. He'd found a honeymoon package that he'd promised would be the most romantic trip of their lives.

She picked up her fork and grazed the top of her dinner. Maybe she should have listened to her mother and not come on the trip, she thought. She'd left the pleading woman to clean up the mess she'd left behind which included sending Joon Young's bag back to him and getting rid of the wedding gifts that had managed to find their way there. And for what? To spend six days by herself in a foreign country? But what the hell? she thought as she forked a piece of lasagna into her mouth. She deserved the break after all the months of planning that had gone into the wedding. Plus she'd already taken the week off so what else could she do? Walk into work on Monday and pretend that nothing had happened?

"Hmm." The lasagna was better than she expected. Business class passengers really did get better service. For the second time since she'd gotten on the plane, she felt guilty about not giving Joon Young's parents the chance to get a refund on their gift. His father, especially, had always been good to her so she bore no ill will towards him, after all, it wasn't his fault that his son was a jackass. But if she and her family had to lose the money they'd spent on the wedding, so did his, she decided as she cut a huge chunk off her lasagna.

***

"Does it taste good?" the man sitting about two seats away, asked. He was a handsome man in his thirties and from his crisp white shirt and pants, Ji Won decided that he was a business traveler. They were seated on the same row although Ji Won was on the right side by the window while the gentleman was in the middle section. They'd exchanged a few words since the flight had taken off but nothing of real significance.

He was talking to her because he was bored and so was she, so there was no harm in talking to a stranger, she mused. She smiled at him to confirm that she was welcome to some conversation then glanced at her plate and nodded. She covered her mouth as she quickly chewed the food left then took a sip of white wine to clean her teeth. She coughed and beat her chest. "Yes, it's not bad."

"Are you okay?" he asked, stretching his hand out in aid.

She nodded then pointed at her plate. "It's pretty good."

"Good. I had it the last time I took this flight so I wanted to try something different today."

"And was that a good decision?" she asked, glancing at his half-eaten fish.

He nodded. "Yeah. And next time, you can also try the chicken -it's good too." He cut off a piece and held it out to her. "Why don't you taste it?"

Was the guy crazy? She'd seen people offer strangers food in American movies but did it actually happen in real life? He wanted to feed her off his fork? She certainly didn't know where that mouth had been! She laughed. "No, thanks. You said you've been on this flight before – do you travel to Aruba often?" she asked, changing the subject so as to prevent him from insisting on sharing his food.

He shrugged. "Here and there. Is this your first time?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I hear it's a beautiful place."

"It is. But are you visiting by yourself?"

She nodded again but this time with much less enthusiasm. And once again, she wondered if she'd made a mistake about the trip. Would she have to spend the entire time fielding questions about her solo vacation?

"Do you know anyone there?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

She shook her head. "Not really. But the package we- er… I got is pretty great. I think we get to snorkel, do some horseback riding, gamble and a whole bunch of other things."

"Well, there's nothing to worry about anyway," he said cheerfully. "And now you know someone." He pointed to himself and laughed and for some reason, she laughed too.

***

"You were right," the man said, taking his headphones off. "This movie is boring."

He'd since switched seats and was sitting next to Ji Won. She laughed in response and tilted her screen towards him. "You should try this one – it's much better."

As the man searched for the movie, she studied him closely. It had been such a long time since she'd flirted with a man. Joon Young was incredibly jealous so she'd been banned from engaging in harmless flirtations with any members of the other sex. Heck, if Joon Young was around, she couldn't even smile too broadly at another man without him blowing up. Kyung Ho was the only exception because Joon Young really was convinced that he was gay.

But there she was on a plane to Aruba with a handsome, charming man sitting in Joon Young's seat and having a great time. Not the throw-your-bra-at-the-stage kind of fun, but it was pleasant and the first time she'd really laughed in the past two days. She enjoyed listening to his funny anecdotes of his different travels and it helped her forget her troubles from time to time.

She and Joon Young were over – that was a given. She was not insane and she was determined not to be the type of girl who pined away for a man who didn't deserve her.

Although she still loved him. Yes, she definitely still loved the bast.ard. Hating him didn't make it easier to forget how she felt at their happiest moments. Or how it felt to feel his lips graze her neck. Or the things his fingers could do to her. And it annoyed her to no end that love wasn't the kind of emotion you could switch off in a split second. Her head had accepted that she could never be with him again but all she had to do was wait for her heart to get its act together. But in the mean time, maybe this dashing guy sitting in her ex-fiance's seat could help her ease the pain; help her forget about him. It had been a while since she'd even thought of being attracted to another man but she could see it happening with him even though the two men looked nothing alike.

She shut her eyes and let her mind wander to the most fabulous holiday she could ever envision. She saw herself in a sundress and straw hat, sitting in the passenger side of drop-top as they rode along the sides of some tall hills. He'd smile and his pearly white teeth would gleam in the sun and mesmerized by the sparkle, she wouldn't realize that her scarf had unwound from her neck till it was floating in the air. But because it was new one he'd only just bought at the Fendi store across the street from the hotel, they'd stop to chase after it.

Then they'd run and run against the wind, chasing the red, silk scarf till they were spent then he'd turn her around and kiss her so thoroughly she'd forget how to spell Joon Young's name.

***

Ji Won dragged her luggage as she walked alongside the man from the plane. They'd just gone through Customs and were heading towards the arrivals pick up area.

"We've spent so many hours together and I still don't know your name," he said, smiling and titling his head in such a way that she could still see the profile of his nose.

If the myth about men and their noses was true, Ji Won could already guess what he'd look like with his pants off. It wasn't her style to zero in on guys just to seduce them but weren't people expected to have sex on their honeymoons? And after what she'd been through, she needed a fling. No, she deserved one.

Sex with Joon Young had been great on their good days but now she was determined to have the best sex of her life. In fact, she'd already planned on getting online the first chance she had so could get ideas then try the most ridiculous positions with this gentleman standing next to her.

Then when she eventually returned to Seoul, she'd be a different Kang Ji Won and Joon Young wouldn't be the last person she'd slept with. The best way to get over an ex-man was to get a new one and the man standing next to her looked like he was willing and able.

"My name's Alex," she said seductively. As they walked, she began to formulate her story. She was Alex from Seoul. Her mother was Korean but her father was American. She was a top chef and the trip was a gift from the other employees at her restaurant.

She was about to ask him what his name was when she heard someone yell, "Daddy."

The man ran over and scooped the little girl up and twirled her around. Ji Won's chest tightened as she saw a beautiful local woman laughing as she stood back and waited for her turn to hug the man that was most probably her husband.

Ji Won's eyes moistened as she watched the scene she and Joon Young had planned to re-enact a few years later. They would be the J&J team and whenever he went on a business trip, she'd wait for him with their son or daughter and when he showed up, they'd hug and kiss like their time apart couldn't have been more painful.

She shook her head in disgust and looked away. Instead of starting her own family, there she was, pathetic and alone on her honeymoon, fantasizing about another woman's husband. What an idiot.

Chapter 5

2010-12-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

Ji Won looked at her reflection in the mirror and looked away in disgust - she looked like mini cooper. The left side of her hair was plastered against head while the other side was scattered in every direction. One strap of her silk night gown had snapped off and was hanging down her chest but luckily, the 12 hour slumber she’d just awoken from had kept the eye bags at bay. Disappointed in herself, with her nightwear still on, she walked into the shower and turn on the tap.

The previous day, shortly after reviving from the shock of seeing her airplane fantasy man in the arms of another woman, she'd decided to act her age and shake it off. Why should a woman who’d just survived from getting jilted by the love of her life lose faith because she lost a man that was never hers? How dumb was that? Besides, she was sure that the island was crawling with numerous single men who would take great pleasure in making her stay memorable. And as if to prove her point, she noticed a male passerby sending her appreciative glances. With the new spring in her step, she’d left the airport and boarded the hotel courtesy bus along with other guests.

She sat next to the window and as they drove past the green palm trees and odd-looking architecture, she assessed every man she saw, trying to figure out if they had the right look and possibly the right package to be the one and only fling of her life. By the time they arrived at the hotel, she was feeling pretty good because by her count, there were at least 30 men, include the hotel bus driver, who just might be The One.

She was still pleased as she checked in, walked into the elevator and tipped the bell man. But the minute she opened the door to the huge hotel suite and saw red rose petals strewn across the bed with champagne chilling nearby in an ice bucket, she dropped her purse, fell to her knees and lost it. Joon Young must have secretly arranged the surprise but apparently, he didn’t care enough to see it through.

She moved her head forward so that the water from the shower could cover it completely. Last night, after shaking the still soft petals off the plush king-sized bed and drinking all of the champagne, she opened her suitcase to unpack. That in and of itself was a bad move because half of the clothes she’d brought had been new lingerie she knew Joon Young would enjoy peeling off her. Thirty minutes later, after releasing her frustration on the room, she’d sat at the balcony watching the sunbathing guests till she felt sleepy and want to bed.

Ji Won pulled off her soaking nightgown and stood up straight. What the hell was wrong with her? The plan was to come to Aruba and have the time of her life. How did sitting in her room feeling for herself fit? She bet Joon Young was having the time of his life. As the cool water dripped down her body, she decided that third time was a charm. She’d already wasted one day she didn't have any more to waste. Twenty minutes later, she put on some clothes and went down for breakfast.

***

Shin looked at the pretty, long haired girl sitting alone and picking at her croissant. From what he gathered from the whispers from another table, she’d checked in alone into one of the honeymoon suites and this was the first time anyone had seen her since then. He watched as she poured milk into her coffee and stirred it.

Because of his job, he couldn’t help but study people so even though she was trying to act cool, he could still read the sadness on her face. It was almost like she wished she were somewhere else but at that particular time of the year, they were exactly where everyone else wished they could be. Intrigued, he wondered if he could find out more about her.

As the thought shot throw his mind, he shuddered. What the hell was wrong with him? Even if she had sad eyes and a somber aura, under normal circumstances, it still wasn’t enough to inspire him to reach out to a stranger. It wasn’t that he was a selfish guy but one thing he’d learned in his 30-odd years on the planet was he couldn’t depend on anyone but himself. And that reaching out to people only gave them the opportunity to take advantage of you. Yet, instead of just studying her like he did everyone else, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know more and perhaps help in any way he could. What was wrong with him? He looked at his half-empty mug of coffee and wondered if it was high time he did as his doctor suggested and gave up caffeine because apparently, it had begun to play games with his mind.

***

“I’m fine,” Ji Won said into the room phone.

“What have you done so far?” her mother asked from the other end.

“Done, as in…?” she kicked off her slippers and lay on her bed. The hotel had done a good job with breakfast – laying out the usual continental breakfast along with eggs, sausages and some local dishes. She wasn’t quite sure if it was a good or bad thing that she still hadn’t regained her appetite and had been unable to really sample any of the good stuff.

“Have you gone out yet? Seen the sights? You know, that kind of thing,” her mother asked worriedly.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen the sights.”

“Really? Where?” she replied skeptically.

Ji Won sat up in the bed. ”Umma, why are you grilling me?”

“I’m not grilling you. I just hope you’re not holed up in the room doing nothing. I didn’t want you to go there alone but since you did, try to make the best of it. Please, go out. Please.”

She looked down and played with the phone cord. It sometimes scared her how well her mother knew her. Ji Won hardly thought of herself as predictable but oftentimes, her mother knew what she would do even before she knew it herself. “Umma, I’ll try.”

There was a long pause at the other end before her mother spoke up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you or not but… Joon Young came by yesterday. He said that he’s been looking everywhere for you. He’s been calling your phone and he claims that he spent most of yesterday waiting for you at your apartment and when he didn’t see you, came here.”

Ji Won was ashamed at how high her ears had perked up on hearing that name. “What did he want?”

“He didn’t say but I think he wanted to apologize. And explain things to you. But I can’t be too sure. I wasn’t too impressed myself because if he really wanted our forgiveness, he would have brought his parents and made a formal apology.”

Ji Won was about to ask something else when she decided to ask about it. If she found out more, she'd only end up fixating on it and she wasn’t going to let her stay get ruined by wasting precious time wondering about that man. “Forget about him.”

Her mother coughed before saying, “I still wish he’d told me what he wanted. Anyway, he wasn’t happy to hear you’d gone to Aruba alone. I think he was worried. Ji Won, I think he still loves you.”

No. She didn’t want to listen to any more of this. “That’s his problem. Umma, stop talking about this.”

“Ji Won ah, I don’t even know what to say. I am not the best person to advice you on this because I’ve only been able to love one man in my life and if I could do anything to have him back, I would.”

“Umma—”

“Let me finish. But on the other hand, I can’t advice you to take Joon Young back because he’s behaved so badly. I don’t know what I would have done if your father had done this to me.”

”Umma, why are you still talking about this? Don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not? Some things are forgivable but is this one of them? I trust you so I know you will do what’s best for yourself. I won’t pressure you, Sweetie. Whatever you choose, just know that your sister and I will support you.”

“Thank you.”

“But try to have some fun, okay? Don’t think about anything and just have a great time because I want to see lots of pictures. And always be careful, Sweetie.”

***

Ji Won showed the hotel employee the receipt she received at check-in. “Is there a group going water skiing today?” she asked in Korean. It was a long shot but who knew? Maybe the lady would understand her.

The manager looked at her uncertainly. Since she was already fluent in English and French, she’d only been required to learn conversational French, Japanese and Chinese for the job. If the guest had been speaking in a language like German or Russian, another staff member who would have communicated with her. But what was she to do in this case? She pasted a bright smile on her face and in Dutch said, “How may I help you?”

Ji Won looked away from her. She certainly didn’t understand Dutch or the other local language so she tried another approach. “Ski. Water,” she said in English. She pointed at a group of people waiting in the lobby. “Them. Are going water ski? Or no?”

The woman smiled. Broken English would do just fine. “Yes, they are waiting for the bus. Are you signed up for that package? What’s your name?”

Ji Won handed over her receipt and waited for her to look it over and confirm it on her computer.

“I see you’re signed up for the all inclusive honeymoon package.” She’d been in the business long enough to not flinch at a supposed honeymooner vacationing alone. She printed a ticket out and handed it to her. “You will need to show this to the driver.”

Ji Won took it from her and put it in her purse. “Thank you. What after water ski?”

“There will be water skiing, jet skiing and hand gliding. We usually only go to one location a day then you can spend the rest of the day doing whatever you please. Most people like to go into town and sightsee but some others prefer to spend their time at the pool. So depending on what you want, the bus can either drop you off in town or back at the hotel. But if you choose to go into town, when you’re done, just call us and someone will pick you up.”

Ji Won had tried her best to follow what the lady was saying but she’d only been able to pick out a few words. “Sorry. Please say again?”

“She says that there’ll also be hand gliding and if you want, you can go into town afterwards,” a voice said from behind in Korean.

Both grateful and intrigued by the interruption, she spun around to face the owner of that deep, gruff voice.

“Thank you,” she said, bowing slightly to him.

“It was nothing. And I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just waiting to speak to the manager.”

“There’s no need to apologize. Thanks for your assistance.” She pointed at the waiting group. “I’d better go ahead and join them.”

About a minute later, Ji Won felt the presence of someone standing behind her. She readjusted her weight on the couch’s arm and looked back.

“I’ll be going with you guys,” the Korean-speaking stranger said, smiling with a smirk she could already tell was permanent. She looked at her reflection in the glare of his sunglasses then turned around and observed the rest of their group. Other than the both of them, the rest of the waiting people were coupled off.

She turned back to him. “You’re coming alone?” It would have been the coincidences to end all coincidences if he too had been left at the altar but from the length of his hair and creases in his clothes, he didn’t look like someone who even had a steady girlfriend.

He nodded. “Why?”

“No reason,” she said, quickly looking away. Why did that answer suddenly make him look so much more attractive? She hid a smile then stole another glance from him. They were on vacation so he had an excuse for the flip flops, khaki shorts and t-shirt. But what was up with the long hair and earring in his ear? Did he think he was a pirate? Even if she hadn’t been with Joon Young for so long, he wouldn’t have been the kind of man she’d have looked at once. He did appear to have some good height on him and even though she couldn’t see much else, his legs looked long and lithe. But on the other hand, he looked like the sort of man who would be satisfied with living in a shack if it meant he got to spend all day on the beach picking sea shells when he wasn’t surfing. The kind of man with no real ambition. The kind of man who wouldn’t know the difference between a Manet and a Monet. He was just kind of man that was so very wrong for her. But exactly the kind of man she needed.

She looked over at his hands to make sure he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring and when she was satisfied with what she saw, she stood up straight and stretched her hand out to him. “Hi, I’m Alex.” The girl you will be sleeping with tonight.

Chapter 6

2010-12-26T21:49:00.000-08:00

"So have you been here before?" the better looking half of one of the American couples asked.

They'd been on the bus for about five minutes and according to the driver, it was a fifteen minute ride. There were about 7 couples on the minibus so although it was quite full, there was still enough space for Shin and Ji Won to sit separately.

Noticing that the girl was waiting for a response, Ji Won smiled and nodded. She hadn't quite understood what the lady had said in her strong New Yorkern accent so nodding was a safe bet. She quickly looked away so as not to encourage her to continue the conversation but the chubby, curly haired girl didn't take the hint. It was her first time outside of New York and she was so excited to talk to anyone who'd listen.

"Oh really?" she tapped her husband's knee. "Honey, she's been here before!"

"Really?" he asked, suddenly interested in the conversation. In the years they'd been married, he'd learned to tune his wife out whenever she went poking her nose where it didn't belong. But this time, it looked like it had actually done some good. "Where do you recommend we go? After today, we want to quit the tourist bullsh.it and live like the real locals. We want to see what the real Aruba is like. I tried talking to the concierge but he wasn't much help. Do you know any bars that are only frequented by locals? We want to eat their food, drink their homegrown brews and listen to their music. So where can we go for that?"

When Shin saw Ji Won nod again, he laughed. Poor thing. With all that nodding, he hoped she didn't end up selling herself to someone.

"Alex ssi, have you been to Aruba before?" he yelled in Korean.

She turned back to look at him sitting two rows back. "No. Why?"

He pointed at the couple she'd been talking to. "You just told them that you've been here before and now they are asking you to recommend places to them."

"Oh," she said, turning back to look at the expectant couple. Her face had already begun to turn crimson and she wished she could just shrink into the seat. "Sorry." She waved, incorporating sign language. "First time here," she said, pointing downwards. "Sorry."

"Oh, it's your first time? Where do you live? And what are you doing here? Is that your husband?" the wife asked, pointing at Shin.

Ji Won sighed. What was wrong with the dumb girl? Couldn't she tell that she barely understood a word she was speaking? Before she could nod one more time, Shin jumped out of his seat and sat next to her.

"Why don't I interpret?" He turned to the woman. "I'm Shin and she's Alex and no, we aren't married. You?"

"I'm Nancy and he's Tim," she said, holding her husband's hand before proceeding to tell their story. Apparently, they got married three years ago in Vegas and after Tim had gotten a great bonus the previous year, they could finally afford to go on their honeymoon. "What about you? What's your story?"

Ji Won shared her story about being a chef, substituting the American father with a Chinese one and changing her location from Seoul to Shanghai. When she was done, Shin shared his.

He looked away and sighed dramatically. "My long term girlfriend and I had planned this vacation for months but two weeks ago, she called me from her parents' house to tell me that she didn't love me anymore and that she was getting married the next day. To my cousin! To cut a long story short, I tried to get a refund but I couldn't. So here I am," he said sadly.

Tim's and Nancy's mouths fell open and when they finally recovered from what they'd just heard, they offered cliché words of comfort. From them, Shin learned that his ex was no good and that the right one would come along shortly.

When the couple turned around to face forward, Ji Won asked him what he'd told them. After Shin recounted the story, her face froze. "I'm so sorry," was all she could come up with.

He laughed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen eyes grow so big. Gosh, why were people so gullible? Did they think his life was a silly MBC drama? "You can relax your face– I made it all up."

"What?" she asked, still in a trance.

"I didn't get dumped by my ex. It's not a true story."

As soon as that sunk in, Ji Won heaved a sigh of relief. "So what's the real story?" Now, she really wanted to know why he was vacationing alone.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," he said dismissively. "It'll only put you to sleep."

***

"Interpreter," she yelled, calling Shin to her side. "What is he saying?"

Three couples had already gone hang gliding and it was finally her turn. She'd been a little scared at first but after the looks of elation on the others' faces shortly after landing, she knew she just had to get up there.

Shin repeated the safety instructions in Korean.

"Ask him what I should do if I feel like I'm falling."

He shook his head as he watched the guide clasp the life jacket around her. "You're completely safe – this is not even real hang gliding. Heck, it's not even paragliding."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, you're completely safe. Look," he said, taking hold of the straps connecting her to the speed boat. "This is what will really propel you into the air and bring you down. They are in complete control the whole time so you don't have to worry about a thing."

Ji Won frowned and looked away from him. Why was she already getting the friend vibe from this guy? If he was supposed to be her fling, he had to long for her and think of her in sexual terms. She'd yet to catch him staring at her boobs. What could she do?

He tapped her in encouragement. "You'll do fine," he said, stepping away.

"Wait!" She suddenly got an idea. She held onto his arm and tried to look as scared as possible. "What if I fall?" Yes, it was time to play the damsel in distress. To get his loins roaring, she had to make him feel like he could protect her. After all, how many men were attracted to female body builders who could kick their asses?

Shin raised his brow. Was this woman bipolar? Just a few minutes earlier, she'd begged the French couple to give up their space on the queue so that she could go next but suddenly, she was scared.

"You won't fall."

"But what if I do?" she whispered, grabbing his shirt tighter. Shin looked down and saw that she was holding onto him so tightly that the veins on her hands were threatening to pop.

"You'll be fine," he said as he attempted to pry her hands away. But whenever he managed to get one hand off, she held on tighter with the other one.

"Shin ssi, please will you come up with me? I'll feel so much safer with you. I need a strong man like you to make me feel safe." Ji Won blinked rapidly and swallowed hard to keep the bile from rushing up her throat. Had she really said that?

The guide looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to concede to her. Even though the young man didn't understand a word they were speaking, anyone within a ½ mile radius could probably correctly assess what was going on.

"Okay, put the life jacket on me too," Shin told him. They were holding things up and he could already tell that the others were anxious to get up there as well.

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her body. As they took off, Ji Won moved her hands up and laid them on his. They felt strong and solid and as they glided in the air, with the wind blowing through her hair, she imagined what those arms would feel like as both of their bodies passionately rocked together.

***

"Who knew hang gliding could be so scary?" she commented as they walked towards one of the benches occupied by other members of their group. "Now I can't wait to go jet skiing. My adrenaline is pumping!"

He laughed. He barely knew her but had already begun to notice little things about her. Like the way the edges of her eyes crinkled when she was thrilled. When they were in the air, he'd been worried by her screaming till he realized that she was loving every single minute of it. "And to think you were so scared a minute ago. What would you have done if you were facing real death?"

"I'd have held on to you tighter," she said, leering at him.

Shin looked away, pretending he hadn't seen it. "It reminds me of the third time I went hang gliding. And I mean the real one – so I wasn't attached to a boat like this one. It was just me, my glider and the wind."

"Wow!" Men loved their egos stroked so Ji Won made sure she looked very impressed. "I don't think I can do that. I wouldn't even go if there was an expert glider with me. I'd be too scared!"

He nodded in agreement. "And if I had been as smart as you, I wouldn't have nearly died."

"What?"

He leaned towards her. "Yes, I almost died. The ride went on longer than I'd planned and since the winds were really strong that day, even though I was trying to navigate myself down, I just kept gliding and gliding. So I decided to give up and just roll with it. I figured that I'd eventually get down."

"Impressive. I would have died of a panic attack."

"Well, I got so comfortable that I actually fell asleep. When I woke up, I found myself quickly heading towards a large rock," he said dramatically.

"Oh my god!"

"So I started hitting the hand navigator," he said animatedly, mimicking the actions, "trying my best to swerve away from the huge, brown rock but it didn't seem to be working. I pressed it and pressed it and pressed it and…"

"And?"

"Boom," he said, slamming his hand on the table for effect. "For a second, I thought I was dead but when I opened my eyes, I noticed that I was falling. I don't even remember pulling my parachute cord but according to the doctors, that's what saved me."

"Wow. You were lucky."

"Very lucky. This is the only thing I have to show for it," he said, showing her a small scar on his knee. "And the funny thing is that the doctors said that I actually died for a few seconds."

"Really?" she asked in disbelief. If he only got that baby scar, how bad could it really have been?

"Yes, I remember it. Even when you're unconscious, you still have some level of consciousness and I think that at the moment I died, everything went very still. And silent. Dark. Still. Silent. It was surreal."

"Dark and silent?" she hissed. "Is that what we all have to look forward to? I need something more dramatic. It needs to end with a bang. At least a bright light or something. Or maybe you didn't see it because you were going to hell," she teased.

He laughed. "And to think that I didn't want to mention the bright light because I was trying to avoid cliché."

"Cliché? What do you mean cliché?" She eyed him suspiciously. "Did you just make the whole thing up?"

He nodded. "I sure did."

***

Ji Won had always loved seafood so she was already anticipating enjoying her meal at the restaurant the bellman had suggested. After returning from the beach, they decided to have dinner together.

"Alex, have you decided yet?" Shin asked as he watched her peruse the menu.

She shook her head. She was debating between the Shrimps Creole, which was Shrimps with some kind of Creole sauce or the grilled shark. Or maybe she could try the pan-friend barracuda. The restaurant was packed and lively and if she happened to die from barracuda poison she was sure that one of the numerous tourists was a doctor. So would it be barracuda or shark?

Since she could easily find shark in Korea, deciding on barracuda, she was about to shut the menu when Shin said, "If you're having difficulty deciding on what to eat, you can try the 'Keshi Yena.' I had it at another restaurant and it was really good."

Ji Won looked down to read the dish's description: a soupy brew that combines Gouda cheese, spices, and the meat of your choice in a thick brown sauce.

Great, she thought sardonically. It was something she could probably whip up herself.

She shut the menu and handed it back to the waitress. "Keshi Yena." Damn. Stupid men and their egos. She really didn't want to eat any damn thick sauce but since she needed them to end the night on nothing but pleasant terms, it was a sacrifice she was going to have to make.

After the waitress left, he said, "So what's your favorite dish to make?"

She looked up at him. Huh? She caught his eye and remembered her supposed profession. "Yeah, I love to make lasagna," she said quickly.

"Oh. Is it an Italian restaurant?"

"Yeah." She focused all her attention on the wine menu. "I'm think—"

"Which one?" he interrupted. "Maybe I've been there before."

"I doubt it," she said, still keeping her head down. "Have you been to Shanghai before?"

"Yes, whenever I have to meet my p--," he started to say till he caught himself. "Yeah, I've been there a few times."

"Really? That's great, but I don't really want to talk about work right now. I'm on vacation to forget it all. Let's change the subject," she said, smiling. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet," he replied, agreeing to let it go. Besides, from what he could see, she probably needed a lot more time to work on her lies.

***

Shin switched his computer on and waited for Windows to load. For the first time in a long time, he'd spent a day without logging on and was surprisingly okay with it. He was shocked that he hadn't begun to get jittery like a heroine addict looking for a fix. Instead, he was calm and even refreshed. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for him after all. Not that he'd ever admit it to his agent, Jin Mo, because if he did, he'd most likely have to deal with at least a full year of gloating.

He sat at the desk and waited for his computer to connect to the hotel Wi-Fi. Just as the icon popped up to inform him that his wait was over, he heard two loud knocks at his door.

According to his table clock, it was 10:23pm and he certainly wasn't expecting anyone. Curious, he walked over to the door and opened it.

Ji Won smiled and didn't let the look of shock on his face discourage her. She'd taken a shower to make sure she was clean in all the right places and had applied a fresh coat of make up to make sure she looked just right. All she'd done with her hair was towel dry it because if the media was to be believed, there was nothing sexier than water dripping down a woman.

She held out the bottle of white wine to him. "I felt like a drink but didn't want to have it alone. I hope you don't mind. Have you got some glasses?" she asked, walking into his room thereby making it impossible for him to reject her.

Even though she was still wearing the t-shirt and jeans she'd been wearing earlier in the day, Shin caught a whiff of lavender shower gel as she walked past him. Plus her hair was wet. So it was either that she'd planned on going to bed before deciding to drink or something was up. He watched her as she sat at his desk and placed the bottle on table.

"Let's drink this now – I don't want it to get too warm. It's the cheap stuff so you know it's better chilled." She unscrewed the top of the bottle. "See? It doesn't even need a corkscrew. Can you get some glasses?"

He raised his brow. What was the rush? His air conditioner was on full blast so it wasn't like the wine was in danger of boiling.

He turned around and walked towards the mini bar. There really was something off about this woman. During the day, she'd been detached but friendly – saying a lot without really revealing much about herself but suddenly, at night, she was sitting in his room with a bottle of alcohol in her hand. But on the other hand, if he really thought about it, there'd been some moments he wondered if she'd been flirting with him. He knew when a woman was interested in him but this one was just weird. She was giving far too many conflicting signals.

The sudden sound of the chair scraping against the floor interrupted his thoughts and when he reacted by turning around, he caught her standing up and taking off her blouse.

His eyes widened in surprise. Okay, that was one hell of a clear signal.

He was still in shock, his feet rooted to the ground when she threw her top on the plush, brown carpet and walked towards him. Then she reached behind and unhooked her bra. As the black lace fell to the floor, revealing her breasts, she said, "Let's have sex."

Chapter 7

2010-12-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

Let's have sex? Had he heard right? he wondered. But considering that she was now in the process of unbuttoning her jeans, maybe he had. In his life, he'd had his share of pushy, horny or gold-digging women but even they weren't this shameless. What was her deal? If he were married or in a relationship, he might have thought that it was a set up or some kind of test his wife had concocted to reassure herself of his faithfulness. But what was this?

He watched her pull down her pants and sucked his breath in. With a body like that, there was no way she was underage so he doubted it was some kind of blackmail scheme. What was wrong with her? She was obviously depressed so had she just discovered that she had AIDS and was trying to seek revenge against the world by taking as many people with her? No matter what the true scenario was, he wanted no part of it.

She was reaching for her panties when he stepped back, grabbed the shirt that had been hanging over his chair and threw it at her. "Cover yourself up," he ordered, looking away from her.

What the hell am I doing? Ji Won asked herself. It was like a scene from a really bad porn flick and she couldn't believe she'd actually stooped so low. But it will be all worth it in the end - she just had to push harder. She let his shirt fall to the ground then moved closer to him. "Don't you find me attractive?" she purred. She licked her lips seductively and smiled at him making sure he could see the twinkle in her eye.

He looked from her full breasts to her flat stomach down to the thong that was the only piece of clothing she still had on. If only he'd been made of steel. In a different time and place, he wouldn't have minded having those slim legs wrapped around him. But not today. Not like this. "No. I don't find you attractive. Just put your clothes back on and leave."

"Really?" she smirked. "I think you do find me attractive," she said, training her eyes on the rapidly increasing bulge in his pants. She took two steps closer and reached for the top of his pants. Before he could push her hands off, she was on her knees.

***

Ji Won struggled to keep the bile from rising up. She'd never been so disgusted with herself. Men were easy creatures and it wasn't difficult to get Shin to change his mind but now that they were about to have sex, she wanted to throw up.

She didn't even know what was wrong with him. Since they were strangers, why was he wasting time with all the foreplay? They'd been lying on the bed for about ten minutes and he was still trailing kisses all over her body. Couldn't he tell that every time she felt his spit on her body, she wanted to hurl? She should have been turned on, she should have been excited to finally be able to have the fling she'd been dreaming off. After all, underneath those clothes, he did have an impressive body --and she wasn't just talking about his abs-- so why couldn't she be more excited about this?

She already knew it was going to be the worst sexual experience of her life because even though they said that sex was half mental, her body wasn't even complying with the other half. She wasn't aroused, moist, wasn't turned on in any way but regardless, she was still going to do it. She had to.

He moved up and kissed her neck while caressing her thighs. Then he moved up even higher to kiss her mouth.

"Can you just get on with it?" she whispered. As soon as the words escaped her lips, a tear escaped her eye.

***

Crying? She was crying? Shin rolled off her and onto the other half of the bed. "Why are you crying? Wasn't this your idea?"

Panicked, Ji Won quickly wiped her cheek and climbed on top of him. "No. I'm fine. Where's the condom? Let's do this," she said, her voice getting shakier with every passing word. She found the pack of condoms on the nightstand and took one. She was going to do this even if it killed her.

Unwrapping condoms was something that she could do in her sleep but for some reason, the more she tried to tear the condom wrapper open, the more her hand shook. Every time she caught hold of the corner, it would slip out of her hand. She even tried to tear it open with her teeth but with no luck. What kind of adhesive had they used on it, anyway?

Shin felt an overwhelming sadness as he watched her struggling with the wrapper. He'd never seen anyone look so clumsy. Why was she acting like this? Was she an old virgin determined to finally lose her virginity? Is that what it was all about? He reached across and covered her hands with his. "Stop this, Alex."

She looked up at him with teary eyes. "What do you mean? I'm almost there. I'll soon open it."

He gently pushed her off him. "Let's forget it. We can do this another time."

"No. Let's do it now," she said, not bothering to hide her desperation.

He moved his legs off the bed and sat on the edge. "No. How about another time?"

"Please." She could barely see him as her eyes had become cloudy with moisture. "Please."

He looked over at her and watched her collapse onto the bed in sobs.

***

"Gone?" she asked the lady, pointing at the empty lobby.

"Yes, Miss. They've already left for the day but if you'd like to go into town, I'll gladly get a driver for you."

Ji Won only understood the first sentence but wasn't interested in what else the lady had to say. She thanked her and turned around. It only made sense that she'd miss the bus after all, the day had started off shitty. After waking up in a strange bed to find a slightly less strange man, sleeping next to her, she slowly remembered the happenings of the previous night and like a jet, flew back to her room.

After sleeping a bit longer, she woke up to discover that she'd missed breakfast and that room service wasn't included in her package. She grabbed three apples from the fruit bowl at the lobby and walked towards the elevators.

Her stomach growled with hunger so she wiped one of the apples against her shorts then bit into it. Her mind was intent on traveling to what had happened the previous night but she was fighting it because she knew that if she really thought about it, it meant that she'd never again be able to look at herself in the mirror.

She was still waiting for the elevator when she heard footsteps. She turned to look and her body stiffened when she saw who it was. Oh shi.t.

"You missed breakfast too?" Shin asked.

"Hmm," she said, not looking at him. Her body was on the verge of turning bright red and she hit the elevator call button repeatedly, hoping that would somehow make one arrive quicker.

In all his life, Shin had never seen a woman fidget so much. At least, not one that he'd seen naked. Not that last night had been one of his shining moments. It wasn't like he thought he was a super stud in bed but he'd never had any complaints. It was his policy to try to pleasure the woman as much as he could, while pleasuring himself. But with her…. He'd never in his life been with someone so unresponsive yet so desperate. He'd perfected the skill in touching women in certain places that he was sure would make them moan but apparently, she was immune to his skills. It had almost been like trying to make love to a block of wood and it was such a turn off that he'd constant struggled to retain his hardness. But seeing that tear drop from her eye was like poking a balloon with a needle – he'd never deflated so quickly.

But yet, as he saw her wringing her hands in nervousness, he couldn't help but feel pity for her. His brain was telling him to run as far away as possible yet his lips said, "This lift is a taking a long time to arrive, don't you think?"

As she stood there, trying to ignore his presence, she'd been silently praying for the ground to swallow her up. But now he was talking to her? She took a deep breath and said, "Yes."

"Maybe there's something wrong with it."

"Hmm."

After a few more excruciatingly awkward seconds, the elevator finally arrived. They both walked in and hit the buttons for their respective floors and waited for the door to close.

"You missed today's outing too?"

She nodded.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked just as the elevator doors shut.

Her heart sank the moment the lift started to move up. Not only was he still talking to her, he just had to refer to their previous night. More embarrassed than she'd ever imagined, she waited for a few beats then said, "About last night… I'm sorry. I don't know--"

"Forget about," he interrupted, smiling at her. He didn't exactly want to spend time thinking about it, either. "What are you doing today?"

"Ehm, sorry?"

"Since you couldn't go out with the group. Are you going into town?"

She shook her head and kept her eyes trained at the elevator doors.

"It looks like we are at my floor," he said as the elevator halted to a stop. As soon as the doors parted open, he put his foot out to act as a barricade then turned to her. "Since we've been left alone, we can hang out together. Meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes and," he said, looking at her feet, "change your shoes."

Ji Won was still in shock as he walked out of the elevator and towards his room.

***

Ji Won held onto Shin as he helped her up the last rock. She'd initially decided against meeting him but ten minutes after their scheduled time, curiosity got the best of her so she went to the lobby and found him waiting for her. She really didn't know why he was still being nice to her but she chucked it up to him being just as lonely as she was and not wanting to be alone. Besides, why think about it so much? It was just a vacation and they'd be parting ways soon enough.

Over an hour later, she was on top of a mountain. Throughout their ride, he'd been friendly and personable and that, coupled with what had happened the previous night, she was sure he couldn't possibly have any sexual interest in her, which was good because she was sweating and probably looked like a pig.

She wiped off some sweat with the back of her hand then turned to him. "What is this again?"

"You might have seen the sign when were driving here. It's Arikok National park. I didn't pick any of the tourist locations so we should be alone."

He put down his backpack and sat on a smooth rock. Then she staggered forward and did the same. "If I'd known that you were taking me hiking, I'd have stayed in my room."

He unzipped his back pack, pulled out two plastic bottles of apple juice and handed one to her. "It's good exercise. I usually like to go hiking when I have a lot on my mind or I just need to think. Something about the serenity, crisp air and coolness has a way of clearing your mind. "

"I see."

"I hope it works for you too," he said, sending her a knowing look.

Ji Won took a swig of the now warm apple juice and stood up. She walked over to the grassy area and towards a steep edge. "What's the name of the ocean?" she asked, pointing to a water body a few hundred feet below.

He stood up and walked up to her. "I don't think it's an ocean – I believe it's a river."

"Okay, what's the name of the river?"

"It's called Intotok. Local lure claims that hundreds of years ago, when a native girl called Intotok came to take her bath on the banks of the river, she met a lost sea god. She was very beautiful with her eyes, body, hair, you know how it goes."

"Sure."

"Anyway, before long, they fell in love and the sea god no longer had any interest in returning to his homeland. On the day he planned to propose to her, he waited and waited and waited for her to show up but she never did. It turned out that she'd been forced into a marriage with the village chief. The sea god, as you can imagine, was devastated. The story is that on very stormy nights, you can hear the wind whistling, "Intotok, Intotok," as the sea god searches for his long lost love. In fact, sometimes, when the waves crash against the banks of the river, you can still hear him calling her name," he said dramatically.

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"The water crashes and makes a 'tok-tok" sound? Not like a 'whoosh-whoosh' sound?"

He thought about it. "You think Inwooshwoosh would sound more believable?"

"Yeah," she said, watching as a wave crashed against the side of the rock.

He nodded. "Cool. I'll use that one next time."

She gave him a sidelong glance. "Next time? You made it up again?" She shook her head. "Are you like some kind of pathological liar?"

He immediately adopted an innocent look. "If I say no, will you believe me?"

For some reason, that made her burst out laughing.

Chaper 8

2010-12-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

Ji Won took the binoculars from Shin and watched as a bird sped up to catch up with its school. They'd been lying on the grass for about thirty minutes and she'd loved every single minute of it. Shin had been right – there was something about standing on top of the world that made everything look so insignificant. She'd been dumped – so what? Life still went on. The grass still grew, the winds still blew and even the little birds flying above her still went about their business. So why not her? She felt a weird sensation on her leg and when she investigated it, saw an ant crawling on her. She chuckled. Heck, even the ant was doing its thing, not caring about her problems, she thought as she flicked it off her.

"Feeling better?" Shin asked. They hadn't spoken for a while but he could already sense a change in her.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you. This was a good idea." She shut her eyes and breathed in the cool air.

"So what's your story?" He sat up and looked down at her. "I know the whole chef tale is bogus."

"You do?" she replied, still lying down and looking into the exceptionally clear sky. She wouldn't have minded dying if that view was the last thing she got to see.

"Yes. It's pretty obvious you're lying. So what's the deal? Why are you here alone?"

She sighed. "I guess I came to find myself."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I came to find myself." After a moment of silence she said, "How old are you?"

"Talk about changing the topic." He laid back down beside her. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious. How old are you?"

"Thirty-one."

She tossed the figure around in her mind. She'd not been too far off although she'd expected him to be a few years younger. "And why are you here alone?"

"I just worked on two projects back to back and apparently, I needed a well deserved break. I'll be starting on a new one the second I return to Seoul." He ran his fingers through some wisps of grass. "In fact, I'd planned this as a working holiday so I should have started by now."

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Really?" A working holiday? "What do you do?"

He cleared his throat. "Aren't you a little too curious for someone who refuses to share anything about herself?"

"Okay." She rolled to her side to reach for her packet of chips. "Be like that," she said as she rolled back on her back. "If you don't want to tell me, then I don't have to know." A cool breeze passed, blowing her hair onto her face. "But I must say that it was a good idea coming here – it is exactly what I needed."

"I figured. It's something I've been doing for almost all my life."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We didn't have a lot of money growing up so when I was hungry, I used to go up to a little hill not too far from our house and just lie and breathe in the fresh air. Lying there, listening to all the sounds of nature, I'd come up with all these little stories about why the wind was blowing the tree in this direction or what the queen ant was thinking as she walked home and in the end, I'd get so involved in my fantasies that I'd forget about my hunger."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But it's funny because one day, I just walked a little further than I normally did and came across some wild berries so I guess that was another reason to go up there when I was hungry." He chuckled, vaguely remembering how happy he'd been to find them. "But now, even though I have some money, I still love hiking up hills to clear my mind. I guess it still gets all my juices flowing."

Ji Won felt a little sad listening to his tale. Then she scrunched her nose. "Hey, are you making stuff up again? Hiking to forget hunger?" she scoffed.

Shin smiled but didn't say anything.

***

"Yah! What are you scared of?" Ji Won yelled from the lagoon. After snorkeling, the group had changed venue and were now swimming with dolphins. Almost everyone but a British couple and Shin were in the water. It was barely a full day since their hike and now that she no longer cared about having a fling, she was having a great time. Even though she sometimes found her mind wandering over to her dashed wedding plans, she'd look around and after drinking in the beauty that was Aruba, she'd quickly shake it out of her mind. "Can't you see those kids in the water?" she said, pointing at another group at their location. "If primary school students can get in, why not you?"

Logically, he realized that dolphins were peaceful, loving animals but what if one of them decided to go nuts and attack everyone? Even if it was only a minute chance, he had no intentions of testing fate. Besides, what's so special about swimming with overgrown fish?

A dolphin swam up to Ji Won and poked her in the cheek. She smiled and stroked its head. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? This is like the cutest thing. Can't you see its face?" she kissed it then swam under to stroke its belly.

When she swam up, she noticed that Shin was sitting down looking bored. She was very grateful for the role he'd played in helping her get back to her normal self and wanted him to have as much fun as she was. Even if he didn't swim with the dolphins, he could still enjoy the cool water.

She waved at the British couple who were laughing and watching their friends swim. "Hello? Hello?!" she yelled in an attempt to catch their attention.

Almost everyone looked at her but after gesturing enough times, the couple figured out that she was talking to them. "Excuse me?" the wife said.

She smiled and pointed at Shin. "Push!"

Shin stood up and walked towards the edge of the lagoon. "What are you doing?"

She ignored him and kept yelling at the couple to push him in till they understood what she meant and did just that.

***

"Wow, you really look quite gorgeous," Shin commented as they walked towards the elevators.

"And so do you."

He'd suggested that they visit an upscale club a friend of his had recommended so she'd slipped into a black spaghetti-strapped slip dress that hugged her in all the right places and didn't in the wrong. She'd dubbed it her 'Eff-Me Dress' when she'd seen it in the store, purchasing it solely to drive Joon Young crazy. But since he'd readily passed up on the opportunity, she didn't see a reason to let it go to waste. She'd left her hair to fall freely on her back and had expertly applied her make up to emphasize her eyes and softly highlight her lips. She felt and looked good and was planning on having the time of her life. It was her last day in Aruba and she was going to end her vacation with a bang.

Shin, for his part, also looked pretty great as well. He was wearing black slacks, a baby blue shirt and a black sports jacket. He'd pulled his hair in a ponytail, emphasizing his cheekbones and even she had to admit that he cleaned up pretty well.

"We're probably going to be the best looking couple there," she joked as they waited for the elevators to arrive.

"I'm quite sure we will," he replied, trying his best not to look at her ass. How come she hadn't looked that good a few days ago?

***

"I want to do that," Ji Won said, watching a few Salsa dancers teach some of the guests some steps.

He shook his head. "No, let's leave the experts to that."

"How can we come to a Salsa bar and not dance? It makes no sense."

They'd just left the restaurant section having spent almost two hours eating and were now at a table nursing some drinks. It had been a pleasant evening and even though they still hadn't shared much about their personal lives, there hadn't been an awkward moment.

"That guy has a cute butt, doesn't he?" she asked, looking at the lead dancer's ass. It was round and pert and she wondered what would happen if she threw a quarter at it.

Shin didn't bother looking. "I wouldn't know."

She rolled her eyes. "You mean to say that just because you're a guy, you can't tell when another guy's butt is cute?"

He raised his brow. "Where are you going with this?"

She laughed. "Don't mind me," she said as she watched the dancer's cheeks move with every step he made.

Shin observed her as she smiled, noticing the slight dimple that appeared whenever she made half smiles. Was it wrong that he now kind of liked her? Would it be wrong to want to keep in touch with her after their vacation ended? "So what are we doing tomorrow?"

Ji Won darted her eyes to him then quickly looked back at the dance floor. "Whatever the group is doing, I suppose." She still hadn't told him that it was her last night.

"We've already been hang gliding, snorkeling, even sailing. Maybe we should do our own thing tomorrow."

"Okay. Hey," she said, standing up. She grabbed his hand and tugged it. "Let's go and dance."

***

"Left, left, right right," Ji Won murmured, trying to remember the steps.

"Actually, I think it's: Left, left, left, right right." He did the steps to the beat.

The dance lessons had ended and now, everyone was just trying to dance to the music. They were holding hands and doing their best to move like the dancers they'd watched only a few minutes earlier.

"This sucks," Ji Won said, resting her legs. "How come I can't remember anything? You saw me doing it with the teacher, didn't you? I was getting it, wasn't I?"

Shin nodded. He was far too amused at how frustrated she was getting. "Forget about the steps. How about we just do whatever?"

"Yeah," she said, dropping his hand. It wasn't like she had any other choices, anyway. Then she put both of her palms on his chest and beat it repeatedly. "Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhythm!" she chanted.

Shin grabbed her hands to stop them then looked at her incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?"

She pushed her head back and laughed boisterously. "Don't mind me. It's from a movie. Pase doble!" she yelled before stomping her foot. Then she laughed some more. "Okay, okay, let me be a bit more serious here." She stepped back and swayed her hips. "What do you think? Does it look authentic?" She put one arm up and rotated her hand in a salsa stance.

He nodded. "Looks good enough to me." Her pose only served to emphasize her curves more.

"Good." She put one hand on his shoulder and whined her waist to the beat of the song. Shin moved in step and they spent the next few hours drinking, dancing and laughing at each other's dance moves.

***

"Oh my God I had such a good time!" Ji Won exclaimed as they walked to her room. She held up the bottle of wine they'd won as the 'Most Improved Couple' and smiled at him. "Feel like a glass?"

Even though it was pretty late as they'd stayed at the bar till closing, he really wasn't ready to leave her yet. "Just a little glass."

She nodded and opened her hotel room door.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting in her room having their second glasses of wine.

Ji Won put her half empty glass on the nightstand and ran her hand through her hair. "Aruba is great. I have to come back again sometime. I feel there's still a lot of stuff left for me to see."

He laughed at how alive and content she looked. "You've certainly changed. You look nothing like you did the first time I saw you having breakfast alone."

She shook her head as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. "Yes, it was awful but let's not talk about it, aye?"

He chuckled. "I wont," he said as he sipped some wine. She really looked damn cute when she wasn't trying to.

Ten minutes later, the bottle was empty and it was time for him to leave. Ji Won walked him to the door and when he reached over for the door handle, she stretched her arm out to give him a half-hug. "Thanks for today. I had such a great time." She was feeling refreshed and ready to return to her life.

"Me too," he said, returning the hug and holding her lightly as she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

When they were done, with the imprint of the minor skin contact still on his mind, he reached down and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Good night."

She smiled and after about five seconds of staring into his eyes, reached up and gave him another kiss on the cheek. "Sweet dreams."

Then their eyes met and after reading what the other was thinking, so did their lips.

Before either even knew what was happening, Ji Won's arms were around his neck with Shin fingers in her hair and the other hand lightly running down her spine as they kissed with increasing urgency. Kissing him was nice but strange. He didn't appear to have Joon Young's fetish for her lower lip so it had been so long since she'd really kissed anyone without feeling little bites. He kissed her deeper and she returned in kind, pressing her lips against his as her tongue rolled over his.

As they moved further into the room, her hands traveled to his body and relieved him of his coat. Then her fingers went to work on his buttons, opening his shirt so that she could run her fingers over his bare chest. He liked the feel of her soft fingers on his skin so he took his hands off her for a brief moment to rid himself completely of his shirt. Then almost as quickly, his hands were back on her, exploring the small of her back through the sheer fabric.

They walked and kissed hard, barely stopping to breathe and as his tongue swirled in her mouth, they collapsed on the bed with his body on hers.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, breaking away for a second.

Without bothering to respond, Ji Won reached up and kissed him again. Who had time to talk? She was enjoying herself far too much. She reached behind him, her nails digging into his flesh till she found the waist of his pants. They kissed again for a few more minutes, their bodies pressed firmly together till he broke from her lips and let his tongue and lips travel down her face to her chin then from her chin to her neck. Her neck was one of her sensitive spots so she let out a soft moan as he teased it. Pleased with her response, he tasted and kissed her skin, journeying from her neck and inching down her shoulder, pushing down her dress strap in the process.

***

Shin had been fast asleep till he was awoken by strange voices.

"Sir. Sir."

He opened his eyes to see two cleaning ladies looking down at him. They were looking at him strangely and when he looked down and saw that the white sheet on him was barely doing its job, he quickly figured out why. He reached down, strategically placed the sheet on himself then turned back to them. "May I help you?"

"It's time for us to clean," the younger one said impatiently.

Granted, they hadn't put out a 'Do Not Disturb' sign but couldn't these women clearly see that they weren't supposed to be disturbed? He smiled as the events of the previous night slowly came to him but when his eyes swept the room, not only was it clear that Ji Won wasn't lying next to him, the open suitcase he'd seen the previous night was no longer by the desk chair nor was her denim jacket still hanging in closet. After taking a careful look around the room, he saw nothing that looked like it wasn't owned by the hotel.

"Where's she? Where's Alex?" he asked the maids stupidly. He felt his anger rise as the situation became clear.

"Sir, this room has already been checked out and because it's already past noon, we have to clean it for the next guest. If you're not paying for an extra night, you need to leave now."

Chapter 9

2010-12-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

Welcome home," the Customs Officer said as he stamped Ji Won's passport.

"Thank you," she replied, grinning as she retrieved it from him then stepped out of the line. It had been a wild week but she could honestly say that she'd returned a different woman. It was just sex and he was just a guy but still it was something she'd never have done in Seoul. She already knew that it was a secret she was going to carry to her grave and it felt nice to have done something no one would ever expect. And if she ever got back with Joon Young, it was something she'd never admit to. Maybe she'd consider it her own private revenge for what he'd done to her.

She felt a twinge of guilt as she joined the line of people lugging their luggage and heading out of the airport. She'd contemplated leaving a note for Shin before leaving her hotel room but had decided against it because it made her feel a little cheap. Given that the sex was their first together, after getting over the awkwardness of trying to find a natural rhythm together, it had been nice enough. It wasn't like it was sex that she wouldn't write home about, but it wouldn't be the longest, most glowing letter ever.

She walked through the door into the arrivals section and thirty seconds later, she heard someone call her name. She followed the direction of the sound then grinned widely when she saw her family and friends waving at her. From the way they were screaming and jumping, she was sure at least one passerby would mistake her for a celebrity. She lifted her bag and ran towards them. Then she dropped her bag and reached across the barricade between her and her mother. "Umma! I've missed you so much!" she said, hugging her tightly.

Her mother hugged her back and sighed in relief. Even though she didn't show it, it had been the worst week of her life. She'd tried to convince herself not to worry because she trusted her oldest daughter to take care of herself but maternal instincts prevailed and she barely had a good night's sleep. "You are looking so well, my dear daughter," she said, tightening her hold on her.

Ji Won separated from her then smiled at her. Unless she was seeing things, it appeared that her mother had aged since she last saw her. Had she really caused her that much stress? She hugged her one more time then went along to hug everyone else.

"Do you plan to come over to this side at some point?" Kyung Ho asked, pointing at the barricade. "If we don't leave soon, I think they might tow my car."

"Stop trying to act so tough. I'm sure you've been crying because of how much you missed me."

Ji Won didn't get to hear his response because he was interrupted by the sound of someone else calling her name.

***

Ji Won, along with the rest of her family turned in the direction of the voice. It was a no-brainer that he'd know when her flight was arriving, after all, she hadn't changed the itinerary. But she still hadn't expected to see him so soon.

"Hey…," he said as his voice trailed off. He knew he'd done a cruel thing so he braced himself for some unpleasantness. So he sighed in relief when all she did was hiss, turn around and walk away. If it didn't get any worse than that, he knew he'd get her back in no time.

Joon Young dashed through the throng of people to catch up with her. Yes, he'd been silly and even though they'd been together for so long, he'd known that he wasn't ready to get married and that that had no bearing on how he felt about her. He was still in love with her.

After being together for three years, she'd begun to hint about their future together and when he couldn't come up with any real reason why they shouldn't get married, he'd proposed. He didn't want to make any excuses but the truth was he'd succumbed to the pressure. If she wasn't hinting about it, his parents were asking him directly, warning that they didn't want any of their grandchildren born out of wedlock or even less than nine months after their parents' wedding.

Throughout their engagement, he'd tried to be enthused about the wedding, attempting to psyche himself out of his fear but at the last minute, when push came to shove, he couldn't go through with it. He should never have proposed and he regretted that he hadn't been smart enough to do something before it got too late.

He'd spent the past week hating himself, wishing that he were a different man but what could he really do? It wasn't like he could undo the past. All he needed to do was remind her that they were still in love so that she wouldn't leave him. She'd had her fun in Aruba and now it was time for them to get back together.

"I should have called you," he said, catching up with her and grabbing onto her hand. "I'm so sorry. I should have called you."

Ji Won looked at his hand like it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. "Take that off me!" For some reason, seeing him apologizing the way he normally did made her blood boil. Surely, this required more than a freaking 'sorry,' didn't it?

"Ji Won ah, please, don't do this. I still love you. Please listen to me. I love you."

She knew that she couldn't care what he said but she did anyway. She folded her arms and turned to him. "Really?"

"Get the fu.ck out of here!" Kyung Ho, one of her bestfriends said from behind her.

Ji Won looked around and saw her family looking back at them. Her heart was beating in anticipation and her head was spinning with a thousand emotions so for a split second, she'd forgotten that they weren't alone.

"Ji W—"

"Are you fu.cking deaf?" Kyung Ho snarled. "Get the hell out of here. No one wants to see you."

Ji Won turned to him and shook her head. She was touched by his reaction to the scene unfolding but she really wanted to hear what Joon Young had to say. "Let him speak."

Encouraged, Joon Young took her hand. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake the warmth that came with experiencing the familiarity of his skin on hers. "What?" She wanted to be dramatic and shake his hand off but she just didn't have it in her. The truth was that she still loved him.

"I'm sorry."

She stared at him, waiting for him to say something more but he didn't. Instead, he just looked apologetically at her. Disgusted that he wasn't putting more of an effort into his apology, she slapped his hand of hers. How could he believe that was all it took to tame her anger? "Is that all you have to say?" she asked, not bothering to hide her venom.

He shook his head vehemently. "Of course not. Let's go somewhere else. What can I say with your entire family glaring at me?"

"You care about that? You surely didn't think of the hundreds of eyes that would stare at me after you left me at the altar! If you have anything else to say, say it now or just forget about it!"

He sighed and looked down. How could he convince her with her cheerleaders listening to every word? He fell to his knees and bowed his head. "Please forgive me. I love you and I miss you. This past week has been hell. Please forgive me."

Ji Won felt some of the ice she had in her heart melt slowly. "What do you want me to forgive you for?"

"For being so thoughtless. For being so cruel. I just felt so overwhelmed that all I could do was run. I still love you, Ji Won ah. I will always love you. You know you own my heart, right? There's no one else for me. You're it, Babe."

She smiled despite herself. "But you don't want to marry me?"

"Of course I do," he said, hoping that if they did get married in the future, he'd be ready by then. And even if he wasn't, he'd get married anyway. He couldn't repeat this mistake. He didn't want to lose her. "Let's plan another wedding. Maybe something a lot smaller. Just you and me and some of our family."

"I won't be there," her sister interjected. It annoyed her to see her older sister yield so easily to that ass.hole. What the hell? Couldn't she tell that he was a manipulative jerk using sweet words to con his way out of facing the consequences of his actions?

"Neither would I," Kyung Ho said. Then pretty much the rest of cheerleading squad relayed similar sentiments. Ji Won looked over at her mother and all the older lady did was smile grimly back at her.

She turned back to Joon Young. "Let me just go home now. We can talk again later."

***

Ji Won walked into her apartment, slammed the door behind her, dropped her luggage by the door then threw her keys into the key drawer. It sure felt nice to be back. It was obvious that had mother had been to her place because all the stuff she'd left in the hotel room was placed neatly by the dinning table. She was about to bend down to pick up one of the bags when she noticed her engagement ring on the dinning table. She picked it up and played with it with the tips of fingers. The ring mark hadn't yet faded but seeing the ring made her remember the fateful day he'd placed it on her finger. Then she put it on and admired her hand. She sighed. Why did it have to make her hand look so pretty?

The light on her answering machine was blinking out of control so she decided it was as good a time as any to listen to her numerous messages. She hit the button and as the messages played, walked over to her refrigerator to find something to drink. After a few nervous calls from friends expressing their sympathy and extending their wishes, she heard Joon Young's voice come on.

"Hey, Baby. Where are you? I went to the hotel to find you but they said you'd checked out. Where are you?"

The next one from him came two messages later.

"Honey, I called your mom and she said that you're not there. Are you at home? I'm at the door but you're not opening. Where are you? Sh.it," she heard him swear. "Why the fu.ck did I lose my key? Open the door."

The next one went, "I'm so sorry. Please. I'm so sorry. You can hit me all you want. You can scream at me all you want and I won't say anything. You have the right to do whatever you want with me. But you need to open the door to be able to do this. So open the door."

Even though she'd poured herself a glass of soda, she'd yet to take a sip. She felt her heart melting despite herself. She sighed. He really did sound sorry.

After a few more messages from him, with her heart shaking uncontrollably, wondering if she really could give him a second chance, another message from him came on.

"What the fu.ck is your problem? I'm apologizing here. Can't you hear me? Open the fu.cking door!"

The next one went like, "Okay, you don't want to talk to me. Fine. I don't need you. I can't believe how selfish you're being. How long do you want me to spend out here waiting for you? It started raining and you didn't even come out to get me. When did you become so heartless? Okay, forget about it. It's a good thing we didn't get married. I don't even know who you are! Just return my ring! You don't deserve it. It's a family heirloom and there's no reason for you to keep it. So just send it in the mail!" he said before hanging up.

Ji Won hissed and shook her head. And to think that she'd even thought of forgiving him. Was he insane? Why did he feel entitled to her forgiveness? She pulled the ring off her hand and put it back where her mother had left it. Yeah, it was her fault. If she'd never made it clear to him that she loved him so much that she was willing to forgive him anything, he would have thought twice before leaving such a nasty message. And to top it off, he'd lied! Because as far as she knew, he bought that Tiffany ring during a business trip. She still loved him, after all, love didn't have an off switch one could use whenever they needed it but she was certain that she'd never be with him again.

So a few messages later, when Joon Young called to apologize, stating that her mother had informed him that she'd gone on their honeymoon, she didn't give a sh.it. As far as she cared, they were ancient history.

***

Seven months later…

"I'm so happy you still have time to hang out with an old man like myself," Joon Young's father said to Ji Won as they walked into a store.

"Abonim, I will always have time for an old man like you," she replied, grinning at him.

"Oh, you're calling me an old man?" He frowned, pretending to be annoyed.

She laughed then linked her arm with his. "Yes, but I like old men like you."

Most girls usually buttered up to their prospective mothers-in-law but it was different for her. For some reason, she always got along really well with guys and apparently, that extended to fathers as well. Shortly after Joon Young had introduced her to his parents, she and his father realized that they worked a few blocks apart and somehow fell into having lunch or hanging out together.

He enjoyed talking to her because she'd never been intimated by him and always spoke freely, and something about how she treated him made him feel young again. For her part, Ji Won had initially befriending him to kiss his a.ss but it didn't take long for her to like him independent of his relationship to her boyfriend. She enjoyed that he loved to gossip and always treated her like an equal. His so-called fatherly advice was kept to a minimum and for that she was truly grateful.

"So what do you think of that?" he asked, pointing at a diamond tennis bracelet. They were meeting to pick out a gift for his wife.

She sighed. "Thirty years of marriage. Wow, I can't even imagine that," she said as she bent over the counter to take a closer look. "Agashi," she said to the salesgirl, "can you bring that one out so that we can look at it closely?"

Joon Young's father watched as she waited for the lady to unlock the case. He was still yet to get over the fiasco with her botched marriage. His son had always been very calculating and thorough when it came to making big decisions so he'd been very shocked when he just hadn't shown up for the wedding.

Even though he understood that Ji Won couldn't forgive him, he held onto the hope that one day, she'd come around. Even though he really liked her as a friend, he really wanted her as a daughter-in-law. From all the girls he'd met in his life, he'd never met anyone else that suited his son so well. They were a perfect match and it always amazed him at how easily young people destroyed valuable things.

"Here you are, Ajusshi," the shop lady said, handing it to him.

They held onto the bracelet and watched it gleam in the light. "It's pretty shiny, don't you think?" he asked. "Does it look like something Joon Young's mother will like? Oh, speaking of which, have you given that foolish boy his ring back, yet? I still can't believe that he tried to pretend that it was a family heirloom. Whose family? Stupid boy."

"No, Abonim," she said, shaking her head. "He calls occasionally and no matter what we talk about, he ends up trying to get it back. Sometimes, I just want to give it back to him so he can leave me alone but other times, I feel that he doesn't deserve it."

"I understand," he said, nodding. And from what he could see, the ring was the only thing left that linked them together. "Keep holding onto it and never give it back." And maybe one day, there'd be no need to.

***

My great-grandmother and her friends were the only people I saw in my first few years on earth so it wasn't till years later that I realized that she must have been quite old. She had increasingly graying hair that she loved to hide in a bun. Her face was heavily lined and her nose round and often red. She walked slowly, constantly complaining that she was old and that I was sending her to an early grave but I always knew she was joking because whenever her friends came around, she'd straighten her back and walk twice as fast as I did. She was small, nimble and I still haven't met any woman so beautiful.

Our daily routine was quite simple. When she woke up, I'd join her for our daily prayers and shortly after, while she was boiling her medicine, I'd go around back for my bath. After my bath, I'd join her in making breakfast and after eating, we'd go to her plot and try to get some work done.

So this morning began like every other, but instead of getting dressed to go out to work on her land, she threw a pencil and writing pad in front of me. "Take them."

"Halmoni, what is this?" I asked. I'd never been one of those children who'd spent their time doodling all over their exercise books especially as my great-grandmother had made it clear that all her paper was reserved for the precious letters she wrote every week. At least a hundred sheets of paper for me? I couldn't believe it.

"Pil Suh," she said, roughening my hair before sitting next to me. "I cannot pretend to be an educated woman, but take them. From today on, I will teach you everything I know."

And that was how my reading lessons began.

Ji Won looked up from the manuscript in her hand. This was going to be an interesting project. A well known author of goth-detective novels was writing a memoir and she'd gotten the chance to work as the first editor. In some ways, it was a step down for her because she normally edited alone. In addtion, first editors generally did most of the work while receiving little credit. But because he was supposedly famous, she realized that this wasn't an opportunity to let slip through her fingers. If she did a good job, it would undoubtedly open doors for her to work in a different side of book publishing. Besides, it was a nice change from her usual self-help projects.

Another exciting aspect of this was that the novelist was a well known recluse who refused to make public appearances despite his success, so it was quite exciting to work on what sometimes felt like an undercover job. She'd picked up one of his bestselling novels to get a better sense of his writing and personality and although it was well written, she hadn't been able to read it through. She just wasn't a goth type of girl. But on the other hand, although she'd only received one chapter of his memoir, she could already tell that it was going to be a fascinating story.

She glanced at her watch and saw that it was about time Yoon Pil Suh joined her and when she saw one of the hostesses leading two men of varying heights and builds towards her, she sat up in her seat. The shorter man looked older and quite round and even though she couldn't see the taller man's face, she could already tell that he was younger. They were both dressed in suits with no ties but the taller man's black suit was cut in a way that accentuated his toned build. He had the trendy, short haircut that young actors were sporting these days and there was something undeniably sexy about him. It was quite unethical for an editor to get involved with her writer but judging from the looks of her last few writers, she was pretty much sure that he was the agent she'd barely see while the shorter man was the one she'd spend hundreds of hours with. Which suited her fine. After all, she wasn't quite ready to date any men yet.

As they got closer to her table, she stood up to greet them. She took one quick glance at her folder to read their names: Yoon Pil Suh and his agent, Jo Jin Mo. She giggled to herself. His name really was Pil Suh, wasn't it? she thought. Poor guy. Then she kept the smile on her face and looked up at them.

"Ma'am, your party has arrived," the hostess said before turning back around.

"Thank you." She beamed at the two men and stretched her hand out. "Hello, I'm Na Ji Won and I'll be the first editor on this project." She shook the shorter man's hand then stretched her hand out to the taller man. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. Even though I've only read one chapter, I already anticipate enjoying working with you. I must admit that I think this will be a fruitful project for all of us."

The guy took her hand but instead of shaking it, just held it.

Confused by his action, Ji Won looked up into his eyes.

"Hello Alex. Nice to meet you again," he said icily. "It's been a while."

Her eyes widened as recognition hit. "Shin?"

Chapter 10

2010-12-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

"S-s-hin?" Ji Won repeated, before averting her eyes. He was looking at her so intently that she felt the heat rise within her. She quickly took her hand back and looked at both men. How the hell did this happen?

Jin Mo couldn't help but notice the tension between them. "Shin ah, you already know her?"

Ji Won took another glance at her folder and then back at them again. "Y-your name is Shin?" She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Why was she stammering like an idiot? "Were you brought to the right table? I'm supposed to be meeting Yoon Pil Suh and Jo Jin Mo."

"That's us!" Jin Mo said cheerfully.

Shin was irritated by the look of despair on her face. Wasn't she the one who'd bailed on him? Why did she look like a trapped animal trying to find the closest escape route?

"Why don't we sit?" Jin Mo suggested. The poor woman looked like she barely had any energy left to keep standing. He glanced at Shin and saw that he too was in a state of shock. It was one of those rare moments he regretted being unable to read minds.

"Yes, let's sit," Ji Won said before doing just that. She gulped down the cold glass of water hoping that the temperature would awaken her from this nightmare but when she put down the empty glass, she still found both men looking at her.

"You're Yoon Pil Suh, right?" she asked —no, begged—the shorter man. If there was any justice in this world, he just had to be. Of all the women in the world who had one night stands and flings with strange men, why would she have to be the one forced to work with him? Didn't she deserve a break?

Jin Mo started to shake his head when Shin said, "Yes. He's Pil Suh and I'm Jin Mo."

The older man's eyes darted to him then to Ji Won who was looking visibly relieved.

She smiled then pointed at the chairs, urging the men to sit then did the same. She took a deep breath then pasted her 'editor smile' back on her face. Yes, she had to remember why she was meeting them in the first place. She drummed her fingers over the folder on the table. "I'm still working on the first chapter but I already love your story," she said, leaning forward and smiling.

Shin looked away in disgust. Anyone looking at those lightly lined bright eyes wouldn't know that behind them lay a cold, heartless bit.ch. Someone who could easily sleep with a man and ditch him like he was yesterday's newspaper. Someone who wasn't even decent enough to leave a note so that the poor hapless man wouldn't be caught naked by strange women or make him wander around the hotel and later around Aruba, searching for her, sure that he hadn't imagined their connection and that she really hadn't only thought of him as a hit-and-run.

But there she was, her hair falling carelessly against her face, a slight dimple threatening to develop on her left cheek, smiling and talking to Jin Mo, looking sexy in dark jeans and a white shirt. Bit.ch.

"So this must be quite a project for you," he said, interrupting her mid-sentence.

She turned to him like it was a huge feat. She'd been trying to find a way of ignoring him while looking professional and in the last minute or so, she'd thought she'd found it. Not because she had anything against him and simply because she was embarrassed. Because the whole time she was talking to Jin Mo, she'd been reliving moments of sitting on a stranger, crying, with a condom wrapper in her hand. Looking at him brought back memories she'd long since buried. "Yes, it's a privilege working with Mr. Yoon," she said, glancing warmly at the other man.

"I'm surprised you were picked for this, though. Are you related to your boss?"

Ji Won blinked rapidly and Shin almost laughed out loud. Was he getting to her?

"What do you mean?"

Jin Mo shot him a warning look but he ignored it. "I'm just saying," he began moving his hands for emphasis, "that it's a bit surprising that someone with your level of experience was given the chance to work on a project of this caliber. You must be aware of Mr. Yoon's stature in the writing world."

Ji Won felt her chest tightening but she took a deep breath to calm herself down. She wasn't going to let him piss her off. What happened to the nice guy she'd met in Aruba? The guy who'd made her last days memorable? The guy who hadn't judged her even at her lowest point? Was he a completely fabrication? Just like his stupid name? "As you might be aware, some of my previous works have become bestsellers."

He nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Two cookbooks, one travel guide and one self-help book. It's hardly the same thing."

Ji Won sat there speechlessly and would probably have remained so for the rest of the night if the real Jin Mo hadn't suddenly decided that he needed to give them a few minutes to duke it out and announced that he was leaving for the restroom.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Shin gave her a very obvious once-over and said, "I see you're looking healthy. The food in Seoul must be so much better than in Shanghai. Alex, much did you gain? Five pounds? Six pounds?"

"Fu.ck you."

He nodded. "Yeah, you certainly did that, didn't you? You found a sucker, had a lot of fun and disappeared."

"Fun?" she repeated spitefully. "Just because I clenched my vagina and screamed doesn't mean I actually had any fun. So don't flatter yourself."

Shin would probably have fired back if it hadn't stung so much. And it lasted for the whole night with him not saying much and letting Jin Mo dominate the conversation and agree to terms 'Pil Suh' would have to work under.

***

"Shin ah, when you see a pretty woman, you're supposed to turn her on and not off," Jin Mo said wearily as they walked to their cars.

"And that's what I'll do when I see one," he snapped back. He was still angry and getting angrier with every passing moment.

The older man burst out laughing. "But what exactly is going on? First you're rude then you stop talking entirely. Where did you guys meet?

"Forget about it. It's a long, boring story that isn't worth re-telling," he replied, fishing his car keys from his pocket.

"Hmm… okay. But since you've decided to pretend to be me, I hope you're not expecting me to work on the edits myself. I hope you don't really expect me to spend the whole of tomorrow afternoon moving words around and arguing about which sentences I need to expand on and all that bulls.hit."

Shin laughed. "And to think that you started off as a writer. Working with editors is part of the package."

"A part I detest, which probably explains why my one and only novel has sold a grand total of 100 copies in the last 10 years."

"99 of which I bought as punishment for losing a bet," he teased.

Jin Mo slapped his back and laughed. They'd been together ever since Shin's second release and had developed an honest and mutually respectful relationship in the process. "So what are we going to do about Miss. Na? How will you fix this? And do you think you'll be able to work with her? "

Shin nodded. "Don't worry. I'll figure something out."

***

"Are you always so punctual?"

The deep voice permeated Ji Won's daydream and shook her out of it rather violently.

"Ah," Shin said, making an exaggerated nervous face. "You scare easily too," he commented, pulling the chair across from hers then sitting in it.

She dropped the pen in her hand and groaned. "What are you doing here?" Didn't prayers work?

"I should be asking you the same thing." He made a show of looking at his watch. "You're fifteen minutes early."

"Early for what? We didn't have plans."

"3pm at the Starbucks across from the Galleria?"

"I didn't make those plans with you. Is your name Yoon Pil Suh?" she flung at him.

Yes. "So you were ditched on your wedding day?" It was time to change subjects, anyway.

Ji Won was so shocked by the question that her mouth remained open for a few seconds. "Wh-wh-w…?"

He leaned forward, rested his elbows on the table and put his hands together. "I did some digging on you." He shrugged. "You must have known that I'd do that. So was that your honeymoon? You were on your honeymoon alone?" Even though he wasn't showing it, discovering that had made her appear far less vile and a little courageous both of which made her quite intriguing. Now, he really wanted to hear her sob story and why she'd felt the need to go on a trip that would probably only serve to make her more miserable. He leaned in closer. "Come on, tell me about it."

Ji Won stood up abruptly, the loud sound of the chair scraping against the hard floor attracted attention from the other patrons. "Where's your client?"

Shin leaned back and looked away from her. "Sit down."

She slung her handbag over her shoulder and moved two steps closer to him. She'd already had her fill of this guy. "Tell your client to call me when he's ready to see me." She took a glance at the folder on the table and decided to leave it there. If their work relationship was about to end, he might as well keep his client's manuscript.

Just as she was about to walk away, he said, "He's not coming."

"How professional of him. If he doesn't want to work with me, he should just understand –"

Shin stood up and noticed that her forehead wasn't at his eye-level and quickly glanced at her feet. Oh. She wasn't wearing heels. Even without the added height, she was still tall for a woman but being almost able to see the top of her head suddenly made him feel like he had twice as much testosterone… till he remembered her comment about clenching and returned back to earth.

"Miss Na, please sit down. Let me explain."

She wanted to leave but as a professional, even if her writer's agent was an arrogant sonofabit.ch, she still had to work with him. She placed her purse on the table and went back to her seat. "Is something wrong with your client?"

Shin tried to figure out which look would work best – the emotional, apologetic agent or the stonehearted agent who only saw his clients as Won bills. He was still pondering this when Ji Won repeated her question.

"He's in rehab."

For the second time in less than ten minutes, she was stunned. "What did you just say?"

"I said that he's in rehab."

"Rehab as in some cool, new writers' workshop where he's giving a lecture on transitions and word choice?" she asked hopefully.

"No. Rehab as in the place where drug addicts, drunks and a whole bunch of other abusers go to try to build a better life… or escape a jail sentence."

Ji Won looked down and shook her head. She just couldn't get her head around it. There was no way that sweet, talented, good-natured man was an addict. She looked up at Shin. Yeah, she'd have no problems believing that he was some kind of substance abuser, but Pil Suh? "Sex addict, perhaps?"

Shin couldn't help but burst into laughter. She was just too cute in her disbelief. She was acting like a young girl who was trying to figure out if she's really overheard that the Tooth Fairy didn't exist.

She frowned then glared at him. "What's so funny?"

He looked away and tried to get himself together. But her unnecessarily serious face wasn't helping matters. He bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face. "He's in rehab because he has a drug problem – he's had it for years. He's had it tough, you know."

She nodded. From the little of his memoir she'd read, she could imagine that he was right. "What happened? Is he going to be alright?"

She looked so worried that he felt a little guilty about lying to her. "It's only for 30 days and it wasn't a court-order so you shouldn't worry about him having any legal troubles. He just slipped up a little and wants to get it all out of his system. He's really trying hard to kick his habit and so far he's been doing pretty well."

"I wish him luck," she said, nodding. "But the book… what do we do about it? Is it getting delayed? My boss can probably find something else for me to do in the meantime so yeah, don't worry about me – I am not inconvenienced. Right now, the main priority is for him to get well. Please send him my wishes."

Shin was touched by her reaction, surprised that she was so willing to accommodate someone she barely even knew. He looked away and went into the second half of his plan. "Well, the thing is the publisher has refused to move the deadline because the wheels have already been put in motion with publicity and they've already started talking to the printers. It's hilarious because the story hasn't been written but they already have a release date. But I'm sure you know that's standard practice."

Ji Won nodded. "So where does that leave us?"

"Luckily, writing has always been part of Pil Suh's…," he paused and tried his best not to make a face. To him, there was nothing more pretentious than talking about one's self in third person. "Pil Suh definitely wants to keep writing," he continued, "and we've spoken to his doctors and agreed that I should act as a liaison between you guys. I'm pretty much the only person allowed to see him because they understand that it's strictly business and they are familiar with me so he'll write the chapters and I'll bring them to you. And then you can give me the rewrites and I'll send them back to him." He stretched his hand out. "I believe you have some edits for me."

She took the folder off the table and held it close to her body.

Shin tried his best not to notice that the brown folder was now rubbing against a part of her anatomy that he'd once pushed lace off and nibbled. He sucked in some air and looked away. Okay, so maybe he was about to play a dangerous game he wasn't quite ready for. There was no reason he should be having sexual thoughts about a woman who'd discarded him so carelessly – never mind her reasons.

Before learning of her abortive wedding, he'd spent the night tossing and turning, trying not to relive his last few days in Aruba. He'd simply gone there to unwind and relax before writing his next book. Instead, he'd met an obviously troubled woman he'd grown to care about in a short while. Even though he knew she'd been lying to him, he'd thought that they'd clicked and had intended to propose that they remained in touch – even if it was only as friends. But waking up to the sight of two strange women frowning at him, and finally accepting what she'd done to him had made him question his judgment and ability to read people. And that scared him because he thought he was long past trusting people who only used him for their own selfish gain.

But maybe meeting her again was a chance to right this wrong. Maybe he'd been given the opportunity to give their story an alternate ending. One where he'd do the leaving and she'd be the idiot. And if he could get some work done in the process, why not? He was still lost in thought when he looked across and saw her pink, full lips pursed at him questioningly.

"What?" he asked, his voice far too shaky for any human who hoped to be referred to as a man.

"Did you suddenly drift off to another planet?"

He sat up. "What are you talking about?" He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her.

She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know."

"Yeah, obviously," he snapped back.

"Okay," she said, standing up. "I guess it's time for me to leave."

As she began to walk off, he quickly caught her hand. A hand with fingers that had once dug into his.... What is wrong with me? He immediately took his hand off and looked away. Why am I acting like a girl?

Ji Won raised her brow. What was wrong with him?

"I need the edits," he said simply.

She sighed and took a step back so that she could see his face clearly. "I don't think this arrangement is going to work for me." The thought of seeing him so often didn't bode too well with her. Yeah, he looked sexy in the gray shirt that had three buttons sleazily undone, thankfully without a gold chain hanging down, but he was still an ass.hole. "I can just email the edits to him."

"But last night, didn't you say that you preferred to work with hardcopies?"

She hadn't even realized that he'd been paying attention. "Yeah, but we obviously have to make adjustments here and I am willing to do that."

"He's not allowed email access in rehab."

"How about sending it by courier service?"

Luckily, he'd expected to hear that suggestion. "No one is allowed to receive packages there. What if someone tries to slip contraband in with what appears to be a manuscript? What if someone sends a letter bomb or something just as dangerous?"

She rolled her eyes. Letter bomb? she scoffed to herself. How dramatic.

"As I already explained, I am the only one allowed contact with him because they trust me, so you're going to have to work through me."

She dropped the folder in front of him and sat back down. So was she really stuck in this impossible situation? Or maybe she could talk to her boss about dropping the project.

"We probably should come up with a schedule to make it easier for all of us." He pulled out his Blackberry. "What days are good for you?"

Chapter 11

2010-12-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

"… Now it looks like I have to work with this guy," Ji Won finished in exasperation. It was only a few hours since meeting with Shin and as per usual, she was hanging out in a tent bar with her friend, Kyung Ho, and sister, Mi Na. "I just wish I never had to see him again."

"Is that so?" Mi Na asked, raising her left eyebrow. "Exactly how cute is he?"

She rolled her eyes. What did cute have to do with this? Hadn't she been listening to her? "I don't know," she said dismissively.

"You don't know if he's good-looking?" Kyung Ho asked, immediately picking up on her tone. From the way she'd gone on and on about him earlier, he'd suspected that something was up, but now, he was certain. Ji Won was one to speak her mind and if he'd been the least bit unattractive, she wouldn't have hesitated to mention it. And if she felt an attraction to a new man, he was more than pleased… as far as he wasn't another bubble gum. In fact, he had half a mind to do a background check on any man she chose to see in the future. He just could deal with seeing her in pain again. "How hard is it to tell if someone is attractive?" he pressed. "All you have to do is open your eyes and look...?"

She hissed and shook her head. "Whatever."

"Anyway, from all that you've told us, I think he's attracted to you. Don't you think so, Oppa?" Mi Na asked, looking to Kyung Ho for confirmation.

Ji Won scoffed. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Jo Jin Mo definitely wasn't interested in her. As far as she could tell, she'd bruised his humongous male ego by leaving him that last night so even if he'd liked her at one point, he certainly didn't any longer. But since they didn't know the full story, it only made sense that they'd come up with an illogical explanation.

"If you're attracted to him," Kyung Ho said, narrowing his eyes and looking directly at her, "go out with him. No one is saying you should start having babies but there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and getting your feet wet again."

Ji Won sighed. "What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Where did that come from? You guys are getting the wrong idea here. I'm talking about some guy I have to work with and you're talking about dating him? Gosh," she said, folding her arms and turning away from them. Then she turned back and looked at them in disgust before turning back around and filling her glass with some more soju.

Mi Na laughed as she watched her sister fidget then cleared her throat. "Well," she said, sitting up, "the next time you see him, take a look at his face and find out if he's attractive. If he is, can you hook me up?"

Ji Won looked at her from the corner of her eye. Hook who up? So that he can move from one sister to the next? "Dream on."

Mi Na pouted. "You suck. If you don't want him, why not give him to me? Oh, by the way, Umma said I should bring you home for dinner tonight."

She sighed then gulped down the glass of soju. As the strong liquor slid down her throat, she made a face then glanced back at her sister. "Count me out. I don't think I am in the mood to look at that woman struggle to keep herself from asking me about my non-existent love life. And that goes to you two, too," she warned, wagging her finger at them. "I'll start dating when it's time but till then, keep your mouths shut!"

***

I watched as my great-grandmother read the first story I'd ever written. Our classes had been going well and our routine was to slip in an hour of studying before going out to the fields then an hour later, after filling out bellies with dinner.

After reading what, now that I think about it, was probably about a hundred words, she looked up at me and said, "Did you write this yourself?"

I nodded.

She pursed her lips sideways. "Are you sure you didn't copy it from a book?"

I nodded fervently. She was my only source of literature so even if I'd wanted to copy anything, I was sure she'd recognize the source instantly. Hence, the thought had never even occurred to me.

She nodded once as she folded the sheet in half. As she handed it to me, she said, "Not bad."

My heart sank as I heard those words. It had been almost a year since she'd begun her lessons and months since she commented that I was a very fast learner. Ever since I understood the basics, I'd tried to read everything I could get my hands on. I still had a lot to learn, particularly with understanding the more complex words but I was getting pretty good especially as one of her friends had lent us a dictionary. I'd discovered my love for words and on some days, spent endless hours reading through the dictionary and discovering new words.

Dejected, I picked up my notebook and stood up. Having spent so long writing and rewriting that story till I'd thought it was perfect, I'd expected a far more favorable response from her.

As I turned around to leave, she also stood up and called my name.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

To my surprise, she quickly grabbed me and pulled me to her. As she hugged me, she said, "Pil Suh yah, that story was wonderful. I was only teasing you." She chuckled then patted me on the head. "And I really like that the first story you've written is about a little boy and his grandmother, so of course I loved it!" she said, rubbing my shoulders. "Can't you tell when your halmoni is teasing?"

Still unsure, looking up, I muttered, "Really?"

"Really!" She playfully roughed up my hair and said, "You're getting so good at this. Before I know it, you'll be writing better than I." She pinched my cheek. "Just work on your tenses and the next story will be even better. Okay?"

Relieved that she'd liked my work, I gave her a quick hug and promised that I would.

After disentangling from me, she said, "I'm going to my room to rest for a bit. Wake me up in thirty minutes so that we can go to the farm. Okay? With the way the weather has been lately, I'm sure we'll need to take our hose with us."

"Yes, Halmoni," I said, grabbing my notebook and sitting back down so that I could start working on the next story. I picked up our only textbook to reread the section on tenses.

For years later, I often regretted not savoring those moments more, maybe talking to her as she retreated to the bedroom or even following her so that we could nap together, because, as bad luck would have it, it would be the last time that I ever see her alive.

***

"Will you like anything else?" the waitress asked, refilling Ji Won's glass with water. The last time she'd seen Shin, they'd agreed to meet every other day to exchange their work so she was waiting to see him. She'd been under the impression that it would only be a quick meeting where they'd say their hellos, exchange folders and then their goodbyes, but the previous day, he'd called saying that he wanted to discuss some of Pil Suh's comments about her edits.

She had braced herself for that. Writers –especially successful ones- were very stubborn when it came to criticism about their work but it was her job to make sure that every book she edited adhered to the highest of standards. And if that meant cajoling the author a little, twisting his arm as she fed him honey, she was more than willing to do it. But with Pil Suh… how exactly did one go about cajoling an author through a middleman?

She looked up at the waitress and shook her head. "Nothing. Thanks."

The waitress frowned. "If you don't want anything else, why don't you just leave? You're taking up space in my section and I'm sure there are paying customers who'd love to sit here," she said before rolling her eyes and leaving.

Normally, such rudeness would have met with a cutting reply or a complaint to the manager but instead, Ji Won was embarrassed. All the lady wanted to do was earn some money yet she'd been occupying a four-person table for almost an hour and to top it off, she'd only drunk water. She'd picked the large table so that she and Shin would have enough room to pore over the manuscript but since she'd obviously overstayed her welcome, she decided that it was time to leave. Less than thirty seconds later, she dropped a 10,000 Won bill on the table and left. As soon as she was standing on the street, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, she flipped open her phone and dialed a number.

***

"Stop calling!" Shin yelled as he covered his ears with his pillow. After seeing how the so-called editor had massacred his work, making more crosses on it than a tic-tac-toe game, he'd ended up staying up much later than he normally did.

He was certainly no novice, having written steadily for more than half his life and not to toot he's own horn, he was still very much one of the celebrated young writers of his genre, with his books translated in several languages and a series on Taiwanese television. And not only did he have millions of books in print, his unique literary style had won him both awards and critical praise so how dare she have so many 'corrections'? Granted, he was writing his memoir in a completely different style but there was no way he sucked so much!

With that in mind, he'd angrily gone to his computer and written and written till he barely had enough energy to walk over to his bed and sleep. At that moment, he couldn't believe that he'd been asleep for long so if the stupid caller could only get the hint and stop calling, he'd be able to sleep a bit longer!

When the ringing stopped, he pushed the pillow off and readjusted his body to a more comfortable position. But just as he was about to nod off, the phone chirped again.

Grumbling, with his eyes still shut, he reached for the phone and after what felt like an eternity, he finally felt it. The moment he put it against his ear, it chirped loudly. Grunting in frustration, he pushed the button to answer the call. "What?" he yelled.

"What?" Ji Won replied in exasperation. "Did you just 'what' me? Have you forgotten that we were supposed to meet today? The first time the wrong person showed up and now, no one showed up at all! If this is a joke, I am not finding it funny. If you can't take this seriously or you don't want to work with me, please say it instead of wasting my time like this. I am sure you can find another editor and I can find a more professional writer!"

Shin wiped his eyes and turned over. "You're shouting. Can you lower you voice?" he said, groggily.

"For God's sake don't tell me you are sleeping!"

The tone in her voice woke him further. As he opened his eyes, his brain began to function better and as if he'd been struck by a bolt of lightning, he remembered the meeting he'd set up. He wiped his eyes again then looked over to his alarm clock. On seeing the time, he cursed under his breath.

"Are you cursing at me? Mr. Jo, if this is how you conduct business—"

Now alert, Shin sat up in his bed. "Just give me twenty minutes – no, fifteen minutes and I'll be there."

"There? I just got kicked out of the restaurant so I know you don't expect me to go and wait for you somewhere else! Let's just postpone this to another day."

He jumped off his bed, peeled off his pajama bottoms and threw them on the bed. Since he normally slept shirtless, he was naked except for the boxers he still had on.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Na," he said, walking over to the bathroom. "I promise to make it up to you but let's not delay this any further. Plus Pil Suh has been very creative lately. He already has five new chapters."

"Five new chapters?"

Shin smiled when he heard the curiosity in her voice. "Yes, five new chapters. He had a sudden burst of inspiration and kept writing all night."

"Okay. But I don't want to sit and wait any longer. Besides, it looks like it's about to rain. Where's your office? Maybe I can quickly pick it up and leave. What's the address?"

He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on to let it run and heat up. "I'm not at the office," he said, testing the water with his fingers.

"Then where are you?" she asked in exasperation.

"Hey, chill. I'm around but just not in an office. I live pretty close to the restaurant so if you don't mind, you can come here instead. Do you have a pen on hand? Let me give you the address."

***

The door opened just as Ji Won raised her hand to knock at it.

"I'm so sorry about this," Shin said as he opened the door wider to let her in. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans and it was obvious to Ji Won that he'd dressed hurriedly because some parts of his t-shirt clung to the moisture on his chest. Plus he was drying his hair with his towel. "Welcome to my home," he joked as he took the towel off his head and slung it over his shoulder. "Why don't I get you those chapters?" he said, turning around and retreating hurriedly to his room.

Ji Won walked in further and looked around his place. It was exactly as she'd expected – clean and angular, with Ikea-style furniture she suspected cost far more than the entire contents of her mother's house. The walls were painted in a beige hue and he had the standard unnecessarily huge plasma television in the living room, polished wooden floors in addition to what appeared to be a real Persian silk rug. His home was understated and somewhat sparse but still had a lot of character. There was a glass shelf behind one of the couches that was filled with what appeared to be differently-sized vases from all four corners of the earth. She was surprised to see that because she'd never pegged him as a collector of anything.

She sat down on the loveseat, surprised by how soft the firm-looking sofa really was. On the mahogany coffee table lay a multitude of remote controls and after looking at them, she curiously picked a small black one that only had two buttons.

"I wonder what this does," she said to herself right before pressing one of the buttons. When she looked around the room and saw no changes, she pressed the other one and watched as a stool almost noiselessly pulled out from underneath the coffee table. She laughed and pressed the first button to push it back in. Just as she was about to pick up another remote control to see what it did, she heard Shin's footsteps.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said.

Embarrassed that she'd been caught playing with his things, she quickly got up then turned around to face him. She sucked in her breath as she took in the sight of him. Okay, what was it about guys with wet hair that weakened her knees so? She ignored her quickening heartbeats and swallowed. Standing there, watching him walk over was the first time she realized that back in Aruba, while they were with the dolphins, when he'd emerged from the water --his hair stuck to his face, his eyes blinking widely and his lips turned up in a reluctant grin-- was when she decided that she wanted to sleep with him. Not because she wanted a fling to dull the pain from being dumped, but for herself. Not as revenge against Joon Young but because she'd been attracted to him and wanted him. Every inch of him. With that in mind, she looked away to hide what she was sure was a face that was now crimson.

Chapter 12

2010-12-20T23:01:00.000-08:00

"What is this?" Ji Won roared, holding up her edited first chapter. The thoughts of Aruba and the way he'd kissed her passionately while inside of her had disappeared the second she saw all the red comments Pil Suh had made beside her edits in blue.

After receiving the chapters from Shin, she'd already been on her way out when she took a peek at the contents of the envelope and recognized the first page. She'd pulled it out and there it was -edits of her edits. She turned around to face Shin who'd been walking her to the door.

He jerked back to avoid her hand and raised both of his brows. "What does it look like?" Depending on her reaction, it might prove to be hard to pretend he hadn't written those responses himself but he felt he was up to the challenge.

"He isn't expected to start editing till he's finished the entire book. He was only meant to incorporate my suggestions into future chapters."

Shin crossed his arms and shrugged. "So what? He didn't like them."

At the moment she opened her mouth the reply, they heard the roar of thunder and shortly after, the sound of heavy rain falling.

Ji Won sighed and scratched her head furiously. "Can this day get any worse?" And as if in response, her Shinhwa ringtone blared from her bag. "Excuse me," she said as she pulled out her phone. After reading the caller id, she frowned and muttered, "I guess this day can get worse."

She dropped the phone back into her bag and looked back at the manuscript in her hand but of course, the phone kept ringing.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Shin asked curiously. Her disorientation was reminiscent of how she'd been the first day they'd met and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. "You can always turn it off if you don't want to answer it."

She smiled at him wearily but didn't do anything. She would have loved to turn it off but since it was technically still work hours, she couldn't so as to make sure she was reachable by her work colleagues. "I'm sure he'll soon give up."

But unfortunately, he didn't.

So after the phone began to ring for the second round, she grabbed it, dropped her bag and the manuscript on the nearest surface then excused herself and walked a few feet away from Shin and next to the window. She flipped it open. "Yes?"

"Hey," Joon Young replied. "You haven't returned my call for over a week. So I decided to give try my luck again. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Do you need something?"

"Nothing much. I just want to call. You know I miss hearing your voice."

Ji Won sighed. Sometimes, she wondered if she was crazy for not blocking his number. There was a month that she'd spent almost every waking hour battling this ssue. She must have blocked and unblocked his number a hundred times but yet in the end, she'd decided to keep taking his calls.

He'd been a huge part of her life for so long and even though on most days, she felt that she was completely over him, there were those random moments, while she was driving or maybe even taking out the trash she'd suddenly feel a sharp pain in her chest and realize that she missed him.

"Ji Won ah," he said, breezily, "let's get back together. This girl I'm seeing… she's beautiful and sweet but it's not the same thing, you know? So let's stop wasting time and get married. I'll show up this time," he joked.

She groaned. Why did he insist on saying things he knew would annoy her? She was about to make a cutting remark when she glanced back and caught Shin looked at her curiously. She look a deep breath in and said, "Look, I'm with a client. Please don't call me unless you have something reasonable to say. Don't make me block your number. Bye." Without waiting for a response, she hung up and turned around.

She apologized again to Shin then glanced at the window. "Since the rain doesn't look like it's letting out, would you mind if I sat here and took a quick look at your client's comments?"

***

Ji Won rubbed her temples and groaned. "Does your client really expect me to do double work? This is ridiculous," she said, reading some of the comments on the sheet. Some of them were valid but most had been rudely phrased. She could understand him being upset by her critiques but he certainly didn't have to be so rude about it. She fell back into her chair and hung her head back in resignation. "I really don't even understand writers and their egos. Doesn't he understand that I'm trying to help him?"

"He does," Shin said watching her closely, "but you also have to remember that you're not editing a cookbook. Maybe you should approach things from a more realistic angle."

Ji Won ignored his comment and flipped over to the next page. "If you don't mind, I'll like to look over this carefully and hand it back to you today. I really don't want to take this back with me. And I hope your client understands I won't be editing each draft twice."

Shin wanted to mention that if she edited each draft properly the first time, there wouldn't be a need for her redo it but all he said was, "Okay."

"Uhm, if you don't mind, I'll like to take a look at this now," she reminded him.

Taking that as his cue to leave, after offering her a drink she refused, he walked over to the living room and switched on the television. As he lay sprawled on the couch, she stayed sitting at the table, and for the next ten or so minutes, the only sounds they heard came from the television and the rain beating against the windows.

After she left, Shin picked up the manuscript she'd returned to him and read the note she'd scribbled at the bottom of the last page:

Mr. Yoon,

How are you doing? I hope all is well and I wish you a speedy recovery.

I read your comments and since we can't speak, I'll respond here.

For starters, I love your work and think that your story is interesting. I'm quite a thorough editor so please, don't mistake my suggestions for insults.

So far, I've noticed a few things about your writing. Since it's a first person POV narration, as you can see, a lot of my comments relate to wanting to 'feel' a bit more of your personality. By rearranging some words and suggesting you expand or contract on some parts, all I'm trying to do is make your writing sparkle.

I don't expect you to start editing till you've finished with your first draft but I only made those suggestions so that you can keep them in mind as you write.

I respect your immense talent so please don't take my comments as a slight or judgment against your writing. The simple fact is that I want us to come up with the best work we've both done so far. Isn't that what every author wants to achieve with every new book? Your name will be on the cover of this book and I just want to help you make it the best it can be. I am more than willing to explain my reasoning and you definitely don't have to incorporate all my suggestions in your rewrite but please be open-minded and flexible and maybe you'll see that some of my comments make sense.

Please, let's both be courteous to each other so that we can have a pleasurable and memorable working experience together.

Take care,

Ji Won.

Shin re-read the note and shook his head. Then he laughed. She sure did know how to be diplomatic about calling him out on his tantrum. Even though he'd been angered by her edits, he did have to grudgingly admit that some of what she's suggested had made a lot of sense. Even though he'd yet to write any new chapters, he picked up a piece of paper and scribbled his reply to her:

Miss Na (may I call you Ji Won)?

You sure know how to put a man in his place. After reading your note, I guess I'd better shut up and take it like a man, huh?

Please excuse my childishness. My ego was bruised by your very busy blue pen. I hope you didn't get carpal tunnel from all that slashing. Please understand that my writing ability gets exalted by everyone (except disgruntled readers on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and every other online bookstore) and your comments reminded me so much of my first hate mail. Okay, my first 100 hate mails. I really don't want to get into it right now but let's just say that it wasn't pretty. But yes, let's work together. How are you, by the way?

Pil Suh.

When Ji Won received the next chapter from Shin, she hadn't been expecting to receive a reply from him and as she was still a few chapters behind, had only seen it by chance. On the next chapter she returned, she scribbled:

Mr. Yoon,

I'm glad we're on the same page. How am I, you asked? Well, I woke up this morning with a huge headache but when I remembered that I had millions of your chapters to edit, I took enough painkillers to last me till the next millennium. Not that I don't love reading your work but don't you rest? Maybe take a break from all that writing and maybe paint. Or do some woodwork. Heck, needlework if you're so inclined. smile.gif I hope you're taking things easy. The only people who call me Miss Na are bill collectors so yes, call me Ji Won.

Ji Won.

Miss Na Ji Won,

First of all, stop calling me "Mr. Yoon." I know I am old but you don't have to keep pointing it out. Pil Suh is fine or Suh if you're feeling lazy. Or just P if you're really, really lazy or need a break after all that editing. So I shall call you Ji Won. It's such a cute name and if you don't mind my saying, fits the owner to a T.

Pil Suh.

P… oh gosh, I'm too tired to write your full name out wink.gif,

If I said "Pil Suh" fit its owner to a T, would that be considered an insult? Hahaha. Just kidding. I apologize for not editing the chapters at the rate you write but I must confess that I do not have super-strength. I just read the chapter about your mother leaving you with your great-grandma's friends after her death and I must admit that I got quite teary. And what made it worse was that you didn't even know she was your mother at the time. From your tone, I suspect that you've since forgiven her. How did you manage to do that? How long did it take? And while you were angry at her, did you still love her? And at one point, did you think that you'd never forgive her? I'm sorry for asking so many questions and if you think I'm being too nosy, please don't answer them and forgiven me.

Ji Won.

Ji Won,

I must say that I've never really held any grudge against my biological mother because by the time I realized who she was, I already knew why she'd left me with my grandmother and in a few chapters, you'll know it too. Well, that's not completely true. I did resent her for a while but I got over it. How? By realizing that my anger couldn't erase the past. Once that sunk in, I moved on. It probably helped that I was also very young, and as you know, everything is far less complicated when you're a child. I won't ask why you're curious because I'm sure it's too personal for you to share.

Now, for something more lighthearted, what is, "please… forgiven me?" You call yourself an editor and you're making more literary blunders than I (or is it, 'than me' Madam Editor, or is it Editoress?) I urge you to read, reread and read again every single word you write to me. I will not accept such sloppiness!

Pil Suh.

Pil Suh,

I apologize, your highness. Madan Editoress apologizes for such a huge blunder. I would explain it all to you, something about a dog and my homework but I suspect you're not interested in hearing how that 'n' snuck in there.

Moving on. Something I've always wondered…

After Shin read the rest of her note, he sat back in his computer chair and stared at the ceiling. In the past few days, receiving more notes from her had been his sole motivation for completing new chapters. What exactly was happening? And was it even normal to be so excited by a few scribbles at the bottom of an 8 by 11 sheet of paper?

***

"I take it that Pil Suh is your type?" Shin asked as he walked alongside Ji Won.

Ji Won was far too interested in reading the contents of the brown envelope he'd just given to her to pay attention to his question.

By now, they'd been exchanging notes for more than two weeks and it had gotten so bad that she usually read them before even looking at his chapters. They'd graduated from short paragraphs to pages and pages of letters and it had been a while any of those additional notes had referred to anything remotely related to writing. She still enjoyed reading and editing his work but those little notes were like caramel on top of her sundae – very sweet and it made her feel all gooey on the inside.

She understood that she was slowly falling for the guy but didn't think that anything would come out of it, not really. After all, he was a huge star, and even though he wasn't conventionally handsome, he could probably still get any woman he wanted.

Besides, it wasn't her style to mix business with pleasure, even though, so far, they'd somehow managed to find a mix that worked. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact it was entirely in text form so it was a somewhat fantastical flirtation – one where they didn't meet or speak. One where she was at home and he was stuck in rehab. She didn't see how it could turn into something real but she was determined to enjoy it for as long as possible.

"So is he your type?" Shin repeated.

Her relationship with Shin almost didn't exist these days because there rarely met for longer than a few minutes as they simply just exchanged envelopes and parted. She found it a little humorous that now she was into reading his client's letters, her attraction to him seemed to wane.

Ji Won looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about?"

Shin looked away. Okay, ever since they'd begun to exchange letters, all those fantasies about trying to avenge his pride had pretty much disappeared. Now, the only thing that could get his mind off wanting to kiss her senselessly, was writing like a demon. But unfortunately (or fortunately?), more writing meant he got to see her often which meant constantly fighting the urge to grab and kiss her till her lips swelled up.

On one hand, he wanted to reveal his true identity so they could stop the World War I-style correspondence and really get to know each other properly. But on the other hand, he had this nagging feeling that she probably only liked "Pil Suh the writer" because she barely acknowledged "Shin" whenever they met. All she cared about was receiving the new chapter and opening up to the last few pages to make sure Pil Suh had sent a new letter.

"Are you going to answer me today?" she asked impatiently, her eyes darting from his face to the chapter in her hand.

Shin ran a nervous hand through the back of his hair and with the other, pointed at the envelope. "I just figured," he said shrugging, "that maybe you liked him a little?"

"How's that any of your business? And why are you reading my stuff?" she asked, immediately holding the envelope to her stomach protectively. "This is private, you know. Please don't read it."

Shin tried to ignore her dismissive tone. "It's not a big deal. I was just curious about the type of guys you like. I guess you like the older, more mature type?"

"Older type? What are you talking—" Her word were cut short by the sight of Joon Young's father. "Abonim," she said, breaking into a smile. She excused herself from Shin, walked over and hugged him.

"Daughter-in-law, how are you?" he teased, hugging her. He'd been out for lunch when he spotted her talking to a tall man in front of a coffee shop. Since he still hoped she'd get back with his son, he'd decided to investigate her relationship with this man. He looked at Shin curiously. "And who might this be?"

"Oh, he's my writer's agent," she said, flinging her empty hand and not looking at him. After both men exchanged pleasantries, she said, "How have you been doing, Abonim? How was your trip?"

"It was lovely," he said, relieved that she was still single. He glanced at Shin who was now frowning then turned back to her. "We all need to go to the country every now and then to remember what it feels like to breathe fresh air. Oh, by the way," he said, pulling her aside, "my stupid son says you guys have been talking again."

Ji Won frowned. "About what?" She glanced at Shin and waved. "Hey, I guess I'll see you later. Call me when Pil Suh's got a new chapter," she said before walking off with Joon Young's father.

***

"What's so funny?" Kyung Ho asked Ji Won.

She looked up from the sheet of Pil Suh's latest letter and smiled. "Nothing. It's just that Suh was telling me a funny story about something that happened to him on a flight to Amsterdam." She leaned forward to him. "So what happened—"

Kyung Ho raised his hand. "Dude, I'm not interested in hearing it. Honestly, I am not interested in hearing any of his stories. As fun as you think they might be, trust me, they aren't. It's probably why Mi Na isn't here yet – she's trying to avoid hearing you recount some boring ass story about…"

Ji Won raised her hand to stop him from talking then shook her head and laughed. "Gosh, you're just jealous."

"Yes, I'm jealous that I am not in a letter-writing relationship with a drug addict? Yeah, you got me," he said, hissing.

All traces of humor left her. "He's not a drug addict. He used to be. Jin Mo told me that he didn't really lapse. Just that he got stressed about working with a new editor and as a result, had very strong craving. He knew he was in danger so he checked himself into the clinic."

Kyung Ho rolled his eyes. "You sure know how to pick 'em. I can't believe you're trying to justify drug abuse."

"How am I justifying anything? And what's your problem? You never had a negative word to say about Joon Young the whole time we were dating so what's this crap about how I know how to pick them? And what's wrong with Suh? You've never even met him and you've already judged him," she said, getting more incensed with every passing moment. And it didn't help that Kyung Ho's sarcastic, bored expression didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon.

"This guy has been honest from the beginning and I think he's sweet," she continued. "What's the big deal? I'm sure nothing will ever come out of it but can I at least have a little fun without you judging me? He's short, chubby, older than I'd like, but he's a successful man who's trying to take responsibility for his life! Why in the world does he deserve your derision? Why?"

Kyung Ho watched her temper rise with increasing interest. He didn't say anything and instead just stared at her.

Ji Won for her part, glared back at him till her face softened as she realized that she'd just let out a mini-tirade.

Kyung Ho remained silent for a few moments before chuckling and saying, "Do you really like him this much?"

Ji Won sighed and hung her head in shame. Did she really like a man she'd only met once? "Yes," she replied sheepishily.

Chapter 13

2010-12-19T01:04:00.000-08:00

"I don't know," Ji Won said, shrugging. "I don't know what it is about them but I read his letters and smile. Isn't that crazy?" She took a deep breath in and thought back to what he'd written in one of his letters about writing allowing him to explore sides of himself he never knew existed. She'd written back asking him what side of him made it easy to write horror but he'd written back and quipped that since she'd never completed any of his novels, she really didn't know much about what he wrote. She smiled then looked at her friends. "This is just too crazy."

Mi Na, who'd arrived a few minutes earlier, nodded. "It's crazy. But what's even crazier is that I haven't seen you smile this much in quite sometime." She giggled. "I wonder what Eun Hee Unnie is going to say when she gets back. She thinks you've been hiding your depression for a while but looking at you now…. You're not that good of an actress."

Ji Won laughed and shook her head.

Eun Hee was another of Ji Won's friends who was away on business.

"Unnie," Mi Na continued, reaching across and taking her sister's hand "I think you should go for it."

She took her hand back and blushed. "Go for what? There's nothing to go for. And even if there was, is it even ethical?"

Kyung Ho groaned. "Ethical? Aren't you both adults? And don't try to act all coy when you know you've been having dreams about the old, fat man—"

"He's not old and fat! He's may be in his late 30s or at worst, early 40s. And he's not fat. Yeah, maybe he has a little weight around his belly," she said, holding her hands a few inches away from her body, "and whatever, he just has a little bit of extra weight but it's not unattractive. You're judging someone you've never met."

Kyung Ho shook his head in irritation. "I'm only going by your description. And so what if he writes nice letters? Big deal. Have you forgotten that he's… yeah, what's it called? A WRITER?"

Mi Na sent him a warning look. If her sister found someone she liked, meaning that she'd truly moved on from Joon Young, she was 100% behind it, regardless of who he was. "Unnie, ignore him. For one, it's not unethical because it's not like a doctor-patient relationship. Secondly, yes, he's a writer but you said yourself that you didn't really like his novels."

She nodded. "But I only read one. Maybe the others are better?"

Mi Na tsked. "Don't let him," she said, raising the corner of her lip and pointing at Kyung Ho, "talk you out of it. Let's not forget that he's currently with a girl he absolutely loves on some days and loathes on others. This isn't someone that should be giving relationship advice."

"Says the girl who hasn't been on a date in this millennium," he countered.

"Was that supposed to sting? Because if it was, try harder. I'm single by choice – it's not like I don't have offers. But I'll stop being single when I meet someone I like which is what Unnie should be doing," she said, turning to her sister and smiling. "If you like him, then go for it. Don't listen to what this guy says. I don't know what his problem is."

Kyung Ho rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Gosh," he said, rolling his eyes, "if she likes him then she should date him." He turned to Ji Won. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again. That's all it is," he said softly.

"But does that mean she should die alone or what?" Mi Na wasn't going to let him off so easily.

"No," he said, blinking rapidly. "I just think that we don't really know anything about this guy. If it was someone you actually saw one-on-one, I'd be all for it. But sending letters? She knows nothing about him."

"Hello, she's editing his memoir," Mi Na pointed out.

He hissed. "You guys know what I mean. Ji Won ah, you only know what he wants you to know. Let me do some background checking on him first."

Kyung Ho worked at a federal agency so they knew he wasn't suggesting it lightly and from past experiences, they were sure he could uncover even the most hidden secrets.

"How romantic," Mi Na muttered under her breath.

Ji Won sighed and looked away. Kyung Ho sure knew how to rain on a person's parade. She'd never suspected Suh to be anything other than he'd presented himself as but he just had to jump in and kill it.

Mi Na turned to him. "And when you're satisfied that he's not a psycho killer, will you stop making thinly veiled barbs and support your best friend 100%?"

He nodded. "Yes. And if later on, they realize that he needs Viagra, I can tell him where my father buys it in bulk."

***

"Ajusshi, are you leaving now?" Jin Mo's little daughter whined, holding on to Shin's leg. "Don't go."

Shin laughed and rubbed her head. "I have to go now but I'll be back soon, okay?"

He had accepted an invitation to dine with Jin Mo's family to catch up with him and discuss the progress of the memoir. After spending almost three hours there, he was on his way out.

"Sweetie," Jin Mo cajoled, pulling his daughter away from Shin. "Let him go. He'll be back soon."

A few minutes later, he shut the door behind them and followed Shin to his car. "I didn't want to talk about this in there but have you figured out what you're going to do about Miss Na?"

Shin shrugged. "Like what?"

"Like what's going to happen after you or I or whomever returns from rehab?"

Shin took a deep breath in and turned around. "Yeah, there's something I want to talk to you about."

Jin Mo groaned. "Now what?" Shin's little multiple personality game seemed to worsen every time they spoke. He put his hands behind his head and walked towards the small patch of grass in front of his house. He'd come out in slippers so he walked carefully so as not to get his feet wet.

Shin scratched the back of his head then unlocked his car. He leaned against it and warned, "You might want to sit down for this."

A few minutes later, after Shin filled him in on all the details, both men were leaning against Shin's car.

"I used to think you were so smart," Jin Mo said after a few moments of silence.

"Hyung, come on."

"No, I'm serious. How did you let it get this far? Right from that first day you pretended you were me, what kind of outcome were you expecting? What exactly were you hoping to achieve? I was amused before but now it's crossed the line. How unprofessional of you, Yoon Shin! And as if it wasn't bad enough, you've started writing love letters to her! What's that about? You start off being mad at her now you're exchanging love letters?"

"They aren't love letters," Shin protested.

"I don't care what they are!" Jin Mo got off the car and started to pace in front of it. "You need to fix this."

Shin cleared his throat. "Yes, I know that. That's why I need your help."

"How?" Jin Mo asked without looking at him.

"Well, you're supposed to return from rehab in about a week so I think that when you meet her again, you should be very professional. Maybe a little cold. Then she'll realize there's nothing between you and it can all end."

"Except you like her. From what I can see, there is something going on."

Shin wanted to lie but he decided that it was pointless. "But it doesn't matter because she doesn't like me. It's not about me. It's about you or him or whoever she thinks she's writing to. And trust me; she definitely doesn't think she's writing to me. If she did, we wouldn't be in this mess because she's not interested in me at all," he said putting his hand on his chest.

Jin Mo's heart was softened by the hurt he heard in his friend's voice but it disappeared a second later when he remembered that it was all of his doing. "So you want me to pretend to be you. But what happens after that first meeting? Am I expected to pretend to be you till you finish the book? Do you think I have that much time? Are you my only client? Then what happens when it's published and you have a press conference? Am I still expected to pretend to be you just so she never discovers Yoon Pil Suh's true identity? Can you see how ridiculous this all sounds? At some point, this charade has to end so don't drag it any longer. End it now."

***

"Hello," Shin said the moment he arrived at the table. "You're always early for everything, aren't you?" He pulled out a chair and sat across from her. It was amazing how just seeing her could mess with his senses. He looked away so that she wouldn't think he was staring at her.

"Yeah, I can't help myself. For a few years I was always late so now I think I'm overcompensating," she said through stilted laughter. She wringed her hands under the table and tried to rub away the sudden nervousness. "I'm sorry I called at such short notice. I hope it didn't interfere with any of your other plans."

Shin shook his head. "No, I was free. And intrigued by the invitation."

On his drive home from Jin Mo's place, she'd called to set up a meeting. When he told her that he didn't have any new chapters ready, she confessed that the meeting wasn't business-related. Even though he tried not to, he'd spent the entire day thinking about it. The thought of spending time with her talking about something other than his memoir both scared and excited him. He didn't want to read much into it, but the invitation had been so out of the blue. Just before he got to the restaurant, he hoped he'd misread all the signs and that somehow, she really did like him -the Shin she'd met so many months earlier.

Ji Won looked down and hid her eyes behind mascara-thickened lashes. "I'm glad you came."

They made small talk and after their entrees arrived, chewed their food in silence for a few minutes.

"I hope you like your meal," Ji Won said. "I wasn't sure what kind of food you liked."

Shin put his fork down and looked at her. "You say that like we've never spent any time together. And I'm not just talking about the time we've spent working on this project." As per usual, he observed that she was looking lovely and although her hair and make-up were in place, in her black pants and red top, she looked rather dressed down. So was it a date or not?

Ji Won, too, put down her cutlery and looked at him uncertainly. She could already feel the blood rushing to her face but decided to pretend not to notice it. "That's why I asked you out today."

"Oh?" Shin's eyebrow shot up.

She picked up the napkin on her lap and played with it to keep her hands steady. "I don't think I've ever really explained what happened in Aruba and I think we should clear the air."

He laughed. "There's air to clear? Isn't it already ancient history?"

"No. I'm sure you've figured it out but let me explain, okay?"

"Go ahead."

"As you know, I was engaged before I met you in Aruba. We'd been together for about 5 years. I thought he was the man of my dreams and from the day I met him, till our wedding day, I adored him. So when he didn't show up to marry me, I was devastated. I probably wasn't thinking rationally when I decided to go on our honeymoon anyway, but I did. And that was when I met you. It was only supposed to be a fling, you know. No strings attached. It wasn't meant to be real, you know? I don't think either of us had any expectations, after all, I pretended to be Alex and you pretended to be Shin."

"I am Shin," he interjected. "That's my name. I never gave you a fake name."

Her mouth formed into an O. "Really? But how come…?" She furrowed her brows then shook her head. "That's not important now. Now, I want to apologize for not saying goodbye properly. Fling or no fling, you deserved better. I was a coward - I didn't want it to be awkward or weird so I tried to avoid that. It wasn't personal. I had a nice time, you know?"

"I do? You said you faked it."

She burst out laughing but when she looked up and saw that his face was straight and devoid of any humor, she stopped. "You still remember that? Forget what I said and let's forget about it all and try to be friends."

He narrowed his eyes. He couldn't help but notice that she was acting exactly as she had when they'd first met in Aruba; when she had an agenda. "You want to be friends with me?"

She nodded. "Sure, why not?" She picked up her fork and knife and cut into her steak. "Let's eat before our food gets cold."

After their plates had been cleared and they were waiting for their dessert, Ji Won cleared her throat. "So about Pil Suh…."

"About Pil Suh?" he repeated. "Was anyone talking about him?"

"No. But I want to talk about him now," she said smiling.

Shin frowned. "You said this wasn't a business meeting."

She nodded. "It's not."

He folded his arms and sat back into his chair. "So the real reason you called me was to pick my brain about Pil Suh? Is that what this is about?"

"No!" For the second time at dinner, blood rushed to her face. "I'm just curious. He gets out of rehab next week and I'm just curious about him," she spat. The way he was looking at her, like he was trying to pierce through her skin with his eyes made her feel uncomfortable. "You don't have to answer them if you don't want to." She picked up her glass and sipped some wine.

Shin lifted his glass and took a sip of his drink. "So what do you want to know?"

After a moment of silence she asked, "Is he married?"

"No."

"Divorced? Does he have any kids?"

He dropped his glass and looked away. "Not divorced. No kids," he said carelessly. Then he looked back at her, daring her to ask more questions.

Encouraged by the responses she'd received, she said, "Is he seeing anyone or is he single?"

"He's not seeing anyone."

Her heart did a few somersaults. "Really?"

Shin didn't know if he should be pleased or disgusted by how his reply had brightened her entire demeanor. Her face now held an expression that was a combination of both relief and delight. Regardless of what she said, it was now clear that asking him out to dinner really had nothing to do with him. It was all about Pil Suh, Pil Suh, Pil Suh! He'd never liked that name but right now, he wished he could brutally murder and cremate it. Looking at her smiling to herself cleared any confusion he'd had about how her reaction to Pil Suh's single status had affected him. Right then, all he felt was disgust. Most of the disgust was directed at himself because if he hadn't selfishly written those letters to her, they wouldn't be in such a crazy situation.

"So he's single, huh?"

Shin nodded.

She grinned then leaned towards him in a conspiratory fashion. "If he weren't single, what kind of girl would he be dating? What's his type?"

"Obese, ugly, dumb girls with bad breath," he snapped. "Why are you badgering me with all these questions? How do you expect me to know? Am I his personal secretary?"

"Sorry." Ji Won couldn't quite figure out what had triggered such a reaction but one thing she did know was that it was time to drop the subject.

They spent the next few minutes in silence and after eating their dessert, went their separate ways.

Ji Won went home pleased that Pil Suh was single while Shin went home determined to come up with a solution to the problem. From what he could see, there was no way that he, Shin, could ever be with Ji Won. But on the other hand, since that meant that Pil Suh couldn't be with her either, he had to figure out how he could make that happen without hurting her feelings. There was nothing he could do about his heart but hers? He had to come up with a solution before everything went spiraling out of control.

***

Ji Won pulled the comforter over her head and turned to her side to find a more comfortable spot on her bed. Then she tossed in the opposite direction. When she still wasn't comfortable, she turned to her back and looked up at the ceiling. She'd taken a shower and jumped into bed almost twenty minutes earlier but it appeared that sleep was taking its sweet time.

She was embarrassed by how excited she was to learn that Pil Suh was single but also nervous about what that meant. Even though she continuously tried to talk herself out of her feelings for him, she couldn't help herself. As far as she knew, there was still a good chance that the feelings were one-sided but from her side, she really felt that she'd connected with him on an intellectual level. Plus it was quite refreshing to get to know a man without sex, in any of its various forms, interfering.

Even though it had been a while, she'd always enjoyed the euphoria of a new relationship but now, it was time to find out if it was real or imagined. Suddenly empowered, she switched on her lamp, jumped off her bed, ripped out a sheet of paper from her notebook and grabbed a pen.

Pil Suh,

How are you? I hope all is well. How's the writing coming along? It looks like you've slowed down a bit and I think that's great. It's good to take a break every now and then. This might be the last letter you receive from me before you're treatment ends so I think this might be the best time for me to write this to you. As you may or may not know, I was engaged up till about 8 months ago.

She went into details about her relationship with Joon Young and how it ended.

This is even harder to talk about but while I was on the honeymoon, I met your agent, Jo Jin Mo. We spent some time together and I guess you can say that I got to know him a bit. I'm not ashamed of anything I did over there and as time passes, I feel less and less embarrassed about it. I'm not going to make any excuses for my actions but I felt that you ought to know about it since you're close to him.

What is this all about? I don't know. Or maybe I think I know but I'm not sure? I'll just like you to know that I've really enjoyed writing to you these past weeks. Your letters have been a joy to receive and I'm not quite sure what it all means but I was wondering if we could meet in the next week or so? Nothing fancy but just you and I meeting to talk. But not about your book. So it won't be during work hours.

Feel free to respond in any way and understand that I'll respect it regardless. So don't feel pressured to accept my invitation.

I look forward to hearing from you. And as always, stay healthy.

Take care,

Ji Won.

***

The next day, Ji Won was at work talking to a colleague when her phone rang. She excused herself and answered it.

"Kyung Ho ah, what's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to confirm something. This Pil Suh guy…"

Ji Won's heart flipped. "Yes?" she asked with trepidation. What had he found?

"You said he's in his 40s?"

"Or late 30s."

"Hmm… and how tall?"

"Like, maybe my height?" Ji Won tried to remember the shoes she'd worn when she met him. "He could be slightly shorter."

"So did this guy lie on his driver's license?" he mused. "It says he's taller. And maybe it's an old photo because he looks quite trim. And he isn't in his late 30s – he's 32."

Ji Won almost choked on air. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm dead serious. Unless it's the wrong Yoon Pil Suh but I think I have the right one. Where did you say you met him?"

"At a restaurant. He came to see me with his agent."

"Who's his agent?"

"Jo Jin Mo." Ji Won tried to remember what his face looked like. "I guess it's possible that he's thirty-two. Maybe he's just one of those guys who looks older than their age."

"Yeah," Kyung Ho replied, unconvinced. "Well, so far, he doesn't have a criminal record but then again, no record of a drug problem. But those are usually confidential unless the treatment is court-ordered. Anyway, I'll keep digging."

"Or maybe you can stop digging and give your friend some support?" She told him about the letter she'd written and how she was going to ask Shin to give it to him the next time they met. "So do I have your support?"

"We'll see," he said after a long pause.

Chapter 14

2010-12-18T23:14:00.000-08:00

What I remember most about the drive to Seoul was that I watched the day break.

It was almost a year after my grandmother's death and my caretakers and her best friends, Uncle Bong Chol and Aunt Oo Ra, could no longer take care of me. They explained that they needed to move to nearby Ulsan to stay with their son because Aunt Oo Ra's health was increasingly failing and that they needed superior healthcare to what was available in our village.

The news of her illness hadn't come as a surprise to me ["to me" isn't necessary] because in the few months prior to the announcement, she'd been bedridden for most hours of the day, with her only getting up in the mornings and evenings to help with the cooking and I could tell that even that was taking a toll on her. [expand on her ailment here. If you now know what she suffered from, you can mention it]. Back then, I unofficially took on the role as assistant chef and because Uncle was the only one working, food was less abundant. So I normally rationed my meals and when I could, would try to find other sources of food. I'm quite surprised I never fell sick from sampling every single wild berry native to my village!

Over the course of the year, we'd grown pretty close and formed a kind a family unit so when I'd been informed of their departure, I'd been devastated. [rephrase this sentence]

Aunt Oo Ra cried when she explained that she couldn't take me with her because her son's place wasn't big enough and that she and her husband would probably be spending most of their time at the hospital and that they didn't want to leave me with their divorced son. [Break things up a bit here. It's nice but you need to show more. Let's have some dialogue. A flashback would probably do the trick].

But when the stranger driving me to Seoul arrived many hours too late, she'd broken into loud sobs, sad that she'd never see me again and scared that she was allowing me to follow a stranger into the dark night.

Uncle Bong Chol, always strong and wise, tried to keep his cool for both of us, but when I climbed onto the dirty fruit truck, I noticed his lips quiver and a tear fall from his right eye.

The image of my uncle holding onto his shaking wife as the tall, thin man turned the engine on, remains with me up till today.

[The transition feels a bit abrupt. Maybe you can add a line before this? Maybe expand a little more about why that image stays with you.]As frightened and unsure as they were letting me go, I was ten times more afraid of where I was going. They'd explained that I was going to stay with my mother but who was she? The only mother I'd ever known had died and it really didn't matter that I was going to be with my 'real' mother because she was who she'd been my entire life; a stranger.

Shin looked up from the manuscript in his hand. It had been a while since he'd felt as unsure as he did the day he arrived in Seoul. He'd been lost, confused and angry at the world for being so unfair and taking away every person he'd ever loved. But right there, sitting at his computer, he felt like he'd been transported to that day except instead of being angry at the world, he was angry at himself.

Was it love? He didn't know. He'd been in love before and had vowed never to do something so silly ever again but yet, this felt different. What was it? What he did know was that somehow, in some weird way, he'd pulled Na Ji Won further and further inside his head. Or was it his heart? Other than what had occurred in Aruba, she'd never made a move towards him, never tried to get her proverbial claws into him, so he knew that what he was feeling was entirely of his own doing. He'd never been the kind of guy to want what he couldn't have but he wondered if that was what was coming into play now.

He shook his head and flung the manuscript on the desk.

No. That wasn't it. He didn't merely see her as a challenge.

He knew that it wasn't simply attraction because even though she was beautiful, she wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. And while she had a nice personality, it wasn't like she was the most engaging and exciting person he'd ever met. Yet, somehow, he couldn't get her out of his mind. Why?

He was still pondering this when his phone rang. He picked it up and when he saw who was calling, dropped it back down.

A second later, when he realized what he'd just done, how childishly he'd acted, he slapped his forehead and picked it up again. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jin Mo ssi. It's Ji Won. How are you?"

From the added sounds come from the receiver, he could tell that she was driving. "I'm fine. I don't have a new chapter yet. I'll have one tomorrow."

"Oh, that's cool. So you haven't seen Pil Suh yet?"

He grunted. "No. I'll see him tomorrow."

"Oh, that's good. We can meet tomorrow but I also have something I'll like to give to him. I'm on my way to your office. Are you still there?"

"My office?" he said, jumping off his chair. "N-no, I'm not there."

"Okay, not a problem. I'll leave it with the receptionist and you can pick it up tomorrow."

"NO!" he yelled.

Leaving a package for Jo Jin Mo at his agency wasn't a problem, after all, a man called Jo Jin Mo really did work there. The first problem was that there was a chance she might run into him. However, that problem could be easily solved with one quick call from Shin instructing Jin Mo to stay in his office and asking him to instruct the receptionist to take the package on his behalf.

The real problem was that the agency's walls were covered with numerous photos of its employees with various famous authors and entertainers. Since Shin treasured his privacy, none of his photos were up, however, Jin Mo's were everywhere. Again, if Ji Won walked in and saw his photos everywhere, she probably wouldn't think much of it since she knew that Pil Suh was a client, however, reading the captions and seeing that the man in the photos was Jin Mo and not Pil Suh would be a huge problem.

Shin paced his bedroom and rubbed his temples as a headache threatened to form. If she were ever to find out, he had to be the one to tell her. He couldn't let her discover the truth about his identity on her own. He didn't even know what he'd do if that were to happen. "You can't go there."

"Why not?"

"Ehm…." He racked his brain for something that didn't sound too ridiculous. "We had a half day so there's no one there."

"Oh," she said, not bothering to hide her disappointment. "Why do you have a half day anyway? What's today?"

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing important. Why don't I come over and pick it up? I was planning to come your way, anyway."

***

Ji Won looked out of the window. "Where are we?"

"You know I love you, right?" Kyung Ho said as he pulled over and parked his car.

She turned to him. "You made me leave work early and brought me here just to say that?"

"Of course not." After researching Jin Mo on a hunch and seeing that he fit Pil Suh's description, he'd uncovered the truth. And when he'd gone over to pick Ji Won up and met the so-called Jin Mo in person, he was now certain that they'd been playing a very sick game with his friend's heart. It had taken a lot for him not to punch him there and then but he'd decided that he really didn't want to risk a lawsuit. Especially if he'd have to explain why he'd been using office resources for personal reasons.

"So why are we here?"

He glanced at his watch. "You'll see in a moment."

All it took to figure out when Jin Mo would be returning home was a simple call to the receptionist asking how late he normally stayed at the office. After doing the math, by his count, providing Jin Mo didn't stop over to run some errands, he should be arriving in about ten minutes.

About twenty-five minutes later, Kyung Ho sat up when he saw a car fitting the description of the one he was expecting pull into Jin Mo's driveway.

"Hey," he said, tapping Ji Won's shoulder. "He's here."

Ji Won put down the book she was reading. "Why do I feel like I'm on an episode of Law and Order?" Even though her friend was being very cryptic, she wasn't too bothered. She couldn't see how whatever it was wasn't related to his girlfriend and knew that he was probably just overreacting to something. Her eyes followed the direction of Kyung Ho's finger and fell onto a somewhat familiar figure.

Since she'd only met Pil Suh once, she had a very specific image of him in her mind but when she saw that it was indeed him underneath that dark coat holding onto a little girl, her heart stopped. "W-what's going on? Is Pil Suh out?"

Kyung Ho reached behind and picked up a folder off the backseat and handed it to her. "That's not Pil Suh."

"T-t-then who is it?" She took the folder from him, her hands fighting to hold it steady and opened it. The first sheet of paper was a blown up copy of driver's license with Pil Suh's face staring back at her. However, the name read: Jo Jin Mo.

She glanced up at Kyung Ho and saw the upset look on his face.

Her chest began to heave and her breathing became audible. What was going on? If he wasn't Pil Suh…. "Then, who's Pil Suh?" she asked shakily. And just as the words escaped her lips, she flipped the first sheet over and saw Shin's face staring back at her.

***

"Are you going to be okay?" Kyung Ho asked as she stepped out of his car.

She nodded but didn't say a thing. At first, she'd been angry at him. What kind of friend was he? Why didn't he just give her the photocopies of their driver's licenses instead of taking her there?

Seeing how angry she was, he had given a flimsy excuse about wanting to confirm his suspicions before saying anything but she knew it was bulls.hit. Lee Kyung Ho had taken her there for one simple reason; to be dramatic. And dramatic, it surely was. Seeing a man that she'd been fantasizing about walk into his house with a child that was obviously his, was dramatic. Dramatic and heart shattering.

Cold air blasted against her face as she walked over to her car but she barely felt it. All she could do was recount the last few weeks from meeting those two bastards at the restaurant till that very moment. Had she been some kind of bet? Some game pathetic, juvenile men played for kicks?

Her feet stopped moving as the implication set in– she wasn't meant to love. Was this what Karma felt like? Punishment for the hearts she might have broken when she was younger? Because nothing else made sense. The first man she'd truly and completely fallen for, the man she'd planned to spend the rest of her days with hadn't even bothered to show up for the wedding. And then the minute she began to toy with the idea of finding love again, just as she was preparing to put her heart out there again, the man she'd dreamed about had turned out to be a fraud.

Love was not meant for her. She was not meant to love. It was just not in the cards for her. And she was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.

"Agashi, are you lost?" a male voice asked from behind her.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks," she said without looking back. She hadn't even realized that she'd been shaking before the man woke her from her daze. Even though she tried to briskly walk to her car, her body refused to comply. Apparently, the pain from her heart had begun to spread throughout her body. It was hard coming to terms with the fact that their relationship, her feelings, his feelings never really existed. But what hurt most was that those 'men' made a complete fool of her. They'd lifted her up just to make the fall that much greater. If they'd thrown rotten eggs at her face, it would have been far less humiliating.

***

Ji Won followed the hostess to their table. "Can I get a Long Island Iced Tea without the Iced Tea? Just don't add whatever it is that makes it taste like iced tea."

The lady nodded. "It'll be here shortly," she said before turning to leave.

Shin stood up to greet her. "Hey. You're twenty-five minutes late. I thought you were never late."

"Stranger things have happened," she said in a monotone. She sat across from him at the side of the table facing the exit.

Ji Won looked at him, sitting and smiling like he wasn't a conniving bastard. After stewing over it all the previous night, she'd reached a conclusion: she hated him. She still couldn't get over how she hadn't seen through his ruse. All the times he smiled at her, she'd thought that he was simply doing it to be friendly but now she could see that he'd been simply taking pleasure in making a fool out of her. She didn't know if she was being a naive, but for some reason, she wasn't really upset with the real Jin Mo because after careful analysis, all fingers pointed to Shin. He was the one she'd wronged. He was the one who'd claimed to be Jin Mo right from the start. The other guy was just caught in the crossfire. She knew that he just had to be the mastermind. The real monster. An as.shole with toned pecs hiding a black heart.

She reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope. "Here are the latest edits," she said, handing it to him.

He took it from her at the moment a waiter dropped off her drink. After thanking him, she took a sip of it, and sat up as the hard liquor mix burned down her throat.

"Here's the new chapter." He gave it to her then lifted the envelope she'd just given him. "And thanks for this."

"You're welcome," she said, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the table. "But why don't you read it now?"

Shin's body stiffened. What was up with her tone? He slowly looked up at her. "Excuse me?"

A slight smile crept onto her face. "Why don't you read it now? Isn't that what you're going to do when you get home? Before you scribble a reply on your next chapter, Mr. Yoon Pil Suh? Oh, I guess I should call you Pil Suh like you suggested."

For a few seconds, Shin felt like time stood still. He looked into her eyes and saw a hard, foreign bitterness inside of them. She barely looked like herself.

"Ji Won—" He wanted to explain everything to her but he didn't even know what to say. Even with all the time that had passed, he hadn't expected her to uncover the truth so soon. After reading her last letter, he'd felt sick, disgusted about how honest and pure her feelings for Pil Suh seemed to be, annoyed that he'd put them in such a tight corner but for all his alleged creativity, he still couldn't come up with a viable solution. He looked into her darkened eyes. It was now too late.

She gulped down half of her drink, ignoring the pain caused by drinking it so quickly. She put the glass down and looked up at him. Then she shook her head and hissed. Why the hell did he look so surprised? "How long were you going to keep this up? Till we finished the book?"

He shook his head. "No," he said plainly.

"Till I proposed marriage?"

"No."

"You wanted to play with my feelings like I'd unknowingly played with yours? I get it. But, come on. What kind of man gets upset about a fu.cking one night stand?" She looked up in an attempt to keep the threatening tears at bay. There was no way she was going to cry in front of him. She didn't think she was going to get so emotional at the confrontation but she couldn't help thinking of all the time she'd spent with him in every capacity. And how it had all been a prank. All just for revenge.

"That's not it," he said softly, reaching out to take her hand.

"Don't touch me." She took her hands off the table and placed them on her lap. "I'm not mad, you know. I get it. I hurt you, so you're hurting me back. I did wrong, so I'm facing the consequences. For every action, there's a reaction. What goes up must come down. Tit for tat. Do unto others as you want them to do onto you. Look before…"

Shin knitted his brows together in worry as he listened to her rattle off every single proverb that applied. If she'd completely lost it, he had no one but himself to blame.

"But it's just a shame that everyone else gets away with doing dirt but not me. I just have to pay for my sins. Lucky me."

"You're wrong. I wasn't trying to make you pay for anything."

She scoffed. "No? Then what was it? What exactly were you trying to accomplish with this charade? If you weren't trying to make me look like an idiot, what were you trying to do?" she asked, her voice getting louder with every word. Her plan to stay cool really wasn't working. She wanted to hide her emotions so that he wouldn't see that he'd gotten to her but now that she was in the moment, she couldn't help it. She no longer cared if he saw her upset. "What were you trying to achieve?"

Shin parted his lips to speak but no words came out. Yes, at first, he'd tried to hurt her but that had barely lasted a day. But sitting across from her, watching her anger rise, he knew exactly why he'd let it go on for so long – he hadn't wanted to face the possibility of never seeing her again. But how could he tell her that now?

"You can't say anything, huh?" she sneered. "Why are you so silent?" She looked away because she could no longer stand the sight of his face. Why didn't he have anything to say? Any explanation for why he'd treated her like dirt? Or at least a victory dance? Why wasn't he gloating? Instead, his face was as blank as brand new chalkboard.

Annoyed, she gulped down the rest of her drink and picked up her bag. "I must say that you're one heck of an actor, though. To act like one person when we met then be a different person afterwards is truly award-worthy. But then again, as Kyung Ho said, you're a writer. A writer observes and learns about people. That's how they are able to create the most fascinating characters. You observed me and knew exactly what to write to get to me. I hope you feel satisfied that all that work paid off."

As she stood up, Shin did the same. She slung her bag across her shoulder. "I guess this is the end of our working relationship Mr. Yoon Pil Suh Shin or whatever the fu.ck you call yourself." When she raised her head to send him one last hateful look, she saw a couple walking towards them from behind him. "Shi.t," she said before plunking back on the chair.

***

Confused, Shin followed her eyes, turned his head around and saw a man and a barely dressed woman walking towards them.

He turned back and from the look of dread that had already overtaken Ji Won's face, he immediately put two and two together. Without thinking, he got off his chair and sat next to her.

With a question in her eyes, she turned to him but all she got was a smile back.

Averting her gaze, she looked ahead and watched Joon Young and a big breasted woman in a tube top and tight pants walking towards them. When he'd first mentioned that he was seeing someone new, even though she refused to admit it, she'd been jealous. But now….

She hissed and shook her head at the ridiculousness of the situation. So that was why he'd left their relationship? Apparently, it had nothing to do with her because he obviously wanted to be with someone whose brains were lodged entirely in her breasts. In a million years, she'd never have guessed that he was so shallow. Yes, there were specific aesthetic things he'd wanted her to do like curl her hair and make her lips look fuller but she'd never expected him to date someone that looked like an aspiring porn star. Watching him walk hand-in-hand with the human replica of a blow up doll made her realize one thing; she was completely and totally over him.

"Ji Won ah," Joon Young said once he was at their table. "What are you doing here?"

She rolled her eyes. "What does it look like?"

Shin's head spun around to her. With all that had happened between them, he'd never heard her sound so cold.

"And who might this be?" Joon Young asked, sizing Shin up. And from the look on his face, it was quite clear he didn't like what he saw.

Shin took this as his cue to speak up. He slung his arm across Ji Won's chair, ignoring her reaction, and said, "You must be the idiot that let her get away."

Joon Young blinked rapidly a few times. "Excuse me?"

"You're her stupid ex, aren't you? The irrelevant as.s?"

Joon Young disentangled himself from his girlfriend then pointed at Shin. "Won-Won, why is he talking to me like that?"

"'Won-Won'? I thought I told you never to call me that?"

Ignoring her comment, he said, "Who is he?" His eyes darted furiously from her to Shin. "Are you dating someone?" he asked with absolute incredulity. Like it was the last thing in the world he'd expected. And it was. Because, he sincerely felt that she'd never love anyone like she'd loved him. That he was the love of her life. And even though he'd made a mistake, she'd eventually forgive him then they'd get married and live happily just as they'd always planned. She wasn't supposed to be seeing some other guy. Especially one that didn't look like a loser. He pointed at Shin. "Who's that?"

Ji Won hid a smile. She'd never seen Joon Young so jealous and she was enjoying it a bit too much. She no longer wanted him but she definitely liked to see him squirm. "How is it your business? Do you see me asking you about her?"

"That's different," he said dismissively. "You still have my ring!"

"Oppa…," the girl started to say but he ignored her.

"Who's this guy?" he repeated.

Shin moved his chair closer to Ji Won's and sat so that their shoulders were almost touching then wrapped his arm around her. She turned her head and looked at him but didn't say anything. He turned to smile at Joon Young. "Don't worry about it. Just know that I'll keep her happy."

When he saw that Joon Young had begun to fume and his face had taken on the color of a cherry, he chuckled. "Yes, I'm going to make her happy. Aren't you happy, Sweetie?"

Ji Won, who'd also begun to laugh, nodded. She turned to Shin. "Yes, very happy, Babe."

Shin, still laughing, looked back at her and their eyes met. They were giggling at each other when Shin realized that something about being so close to her, and hearing her laughter so close to his ear had begun to make his heart lift. There were in the final act. Any moment, Joon Young would storm out and the play would be over. They'd get back to reality and never again would they be so close.

He looked into her brown eyes, devoid of any make up, yet looking the loveliest he'd ever seen, then moved his face close to hers and before she could react, kissed her full on the lips.

***

Ji Won was still fuming as she watched Joon Young storm out of the restaurant. They both has something in common because the kiss has been more than either of them could take.

It had been quick with him kissing her and her body freezing from shock. He let his lips linger on hers for a bit but when he realized that she wasn't responding, he'd taken them off. But they had stayed long enough for her to feel his breath against her face, feel his skin against hers and to feel the force of his lips. And she was livid! How dare he? How could he possibly think that just because she was playing along with him, he had the right to kiss her like that?

She held her breath to keep from exploding but the second Joon Young walked out, she exhaled and pushed Shin's chair away from her. Even though he slipped, he didn't fall off it. He'd expected it so he'd tried his best to retain his balance.

She grabbed her bag and stood up, pushing the table in the process and scraping its leg against the floor thus attracting attention from some of the people around them. She glanced at them then turned her full attention to Shin. "How dare you?"

Shin wanted to say that he was sorry but he couldn't. Even though she hadn't kissed him back, even though her body had turned cold, her lips had still been very warm. And he'd liked the way they'd felt. So no, he wasn't sorry.

"Why are you just staring at me like a fool? Say something, you as.shole!"

Angered by his lack of response and remorse, she wanted to do something to hurt him. She wanted to slap him but after what had just happened, really didn't want her skin to touch his again. So she looked around and reached for her glass but saw that it was empty. Then she moved her hands a few inches, grabbed his martini glass and threw its contents at his face. "Fu.ck you," she said, walking by him and towards the exit. She almost looked back to see his reaction but didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Besides, it had felt pretty good to throw the drink at him. It was her first time of doing it and if it always felt this great, she planned to do it more often.

Chapter 15

2010-12-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

Ji Won slammed the door shut behind her, threw her keys inside her bag and dumped it underneath the coat rack. Then she kicked her shoes off and ran into her bedroom. The drive from the restaurant had taken half the time it normally would have and it was a surprise that she wasn't pulled over by the cops.

How dare he kiss her? After all that had happened, how could he possibly think that he could kiss her? What an assh.ole. Fu.cking successful men and their fu.cking sense of fu.cking entitlement. Did he think that she was some kind of toy he could play with for his amusement? She fell on her bed and hid her face. Boy was she stupid. As mad as she was at him, she couldn't ignore her role in the whole shenanigans. The idiot obviously had a penchant for pretense so if she hadn't enjoyed watching Joon Young squirm, things wouldn't have escalated as they had. If she hadn't let him put his arm around her, there was no way he would have thought that it was okay to kiss her. But no more – it would never happen again. It wasn't her birthday but she felt many years wiser and with this new found wisdom, she was even stronger in her resolve to end everything with him.

She sat up and looked at all his chapters scattered over her desk. Then she got up, walked over, picked them up and stacked them in her hand. She sighed as she read one line off his manuscript. Was it sad that she still wanted to read the rest of his story?

She certainly still enjoyed reading his words and when it came down to the work itself, he'd been her most consistent writer by far. He was prolific and talented so she'd never had to babysit him. And there was no question that working on his memoir was a huge step in her career. But was that all worth working with someone she loathed for a few more weeks?

She bent over, opened the left desk drawer and pulled out a large brown envelope. No, it's not, she thought as she stuffed the chapters in the envelope.

***

Ji Won looked at the envelope and after pasting close to twenty stamps on it, she knew she'd definitely gone overboard on the postage but she wanted to make sure there would be absolutely no problem delivering the package. She opened the cold mail box and exhaled. The minute she dropped it in the tin box was the minute her working relationship with Yoon Pil Suh ended. In the note she'd included, she'd written a few words thanking him for the opportunity to work with him after expressing regret about her inability to continue the relationship. She looked at the thick package one last time then dropped it inside the box. She heard it hit the bottom then sighed. It was all over. It was obviously going to take some time to forget it all but at least she'd taken the first step to putting it behind her.

She was turning around when she heard a car screech. Then someone call her name. She spun around to see her friends waving at her from Kyung Ho's car.

***

"It's a scientifically proven fact that men are stupid," Eun Hee said. She was the tallest and thinnest in their group and only returned to the country three hours earlier. After Kyung Ho filled her in on all that had happened, she'd insisted that Ji Won needed comforting. So on their way to her place, they'd stopped by the liquor store, amongst other places, and bought four 6-packs of beer – one for each of them.

"Hear! Hear!" Mi Na said before gulping down some more beer. She was the resident fish in their group and even though she constantly ingested copious amounts of alcohol, no one had ever seen her truly drunk.

"I think it has something to do with having their genitals outside of their bodies," Eun Hee said, putting her hand over her pelvic area. "There's no way that having to look at their penises everyday doesn't screw up their brains."

Ji Won smiled. They'd been over for over ten minutes and even though she knew why they'd stopped by, was glad to have them around. It also helped that they'd also brought by some groceries that would save her at least one trip to the store.

Kyung Ho put down his beer then raised his hand. "There's a flaw in your argument, Eun Hee yah. Not that I agree that men are stupid but aren't women's breasts outside of their bodies?"

"Like it's the same thing," Mi Na said, rolling her eyes. "When was the last time you heard of a woman cumming from someone touching her boobies?"

"I have!" Eun Hee said with her mouth full of pizza.

"Yeah, right," Ji Won countered.

"No, wait. Let me finish what's in my mouth." After she'd chewed and swallowed, she said, "You know when you're sixteen and everything is so hot and erotic? And all a guy has to do is touch your face and suddenly, your belly is doing flip flops, your heart starts beating rapidly, your breathing becomes heavier and you start feeling all sexy and wet just because a guy's dirty finger grazed your skin?"

They all burst out laughing.

Kyung Ho announced that he knew nothing about that.

"Well, I think I came one time just from something brushing up against my breast. But," she said, tapping her upper lip, "now that I think about it, was it just static electricity?"

Kyung Ho groaned. "You've started with your stories again. You don't know the difference between static electricity and an orgasm?"

"Hello? I was only sixteen and I felt a jolt so I must have thought, "Oh, so this is what an orgasm is."

They laughed again.

"Eun Hee, get a life."

"Whatever," she said, getting off the loveseat she was on, walking over to Ji Won, sitting next to her, then hugging her. "Hun, I'm so sorry you had to go through this."

"Yes, it just stinks," Mi Na said solemnly.

Ji Won didn't say anything but hugged her back. Her spirits really were lifting.

When they were done, Eun Hee reached over to the bowl of chips and picked one. "I think you should sue, though."

"It actually doesn't sound like a bad idea," Kyung Ho piped in, "because this whole thing doesn't make any sense at all. Why would they even do this? They didn't even know you and just decided to pull a prank on you. Why?"

"Because they are deranged –that's why. Unnie," Mi Na said, "you don't have to accept this. I am sure there is some kind of professional misconduct here. It's just so ridiculous."

"Yes, talk to your lawyer about this. There has to be something you can do," Eun Hee said.

"And if that doesn't work, we can rough him up – I know some people."

"Kyung Ho, this isn't the time for jokes."

Ji Won listened to her friends being so supportive from offering to help with the lawyer's fees to starting internet rumors to destroy his reputation that she couldn't help but feel a little bad. Even though she was disgusted with Shin, she still felt guilty about keeping the full story from them. If they could come to her aid like this, they deserved to know the truth. She took a deep breath in and said, "I slept with him."

Kyung Ho narrowed his eyes then scratched his head in confusion. "Can you repeat that? I think I misheard you."

"Yeah, I totally misheard her too," Mi Na said.

"Yeah, me too," Eun Hee said.

Ji Won frowned. What was wrong with them? "I said that I slept with him."

The room fell into silence other than the sounds coming from the television.

Eun Hee was first to recover from the shock. "I don't get it. The whole time you thought you were in love with the writer, you were sleeping with the person you thought was the agent?"

"No." It was funny how she'd been hiding the secret from her friends but now that she was telling them, it really didn't seem like such a big deal. "I met him before. In Aruba."

"Unnie, now I'm confused. If you already met him, why didn't you know who he was?"

Ji Won turned to her sister. "I met him in Aruba. I was Alex and he was Shin. We had a one night stand. The end."

The room fell into silence for the second time but this time, it was Kyung Ho's turn to recover first.

"Hmm… Ji Won ah," he said, moving his finger in an anti-clockwise fashion, "back it up a few hundred miles and start from the beginning. But this time, don't leave out any details."

***

The first thing Ji Won did when she walked into work the next morning was check her messages and just like she'd expected, she found one from Jin Mo – the real one – asking her to return his call. The second thing she did was walk into her boss's office.

Ms. Jung was a former model who'd turned to publishing after her modeling career ended. She'd studied biology in college but had slept with enough powerful men so when she turned twenty-seven and discovered that she could no longer land sizeable contracts, had managed to turn one of those trysts into a job in the publicity department of a major publishing house.

But not long into the job, she'd been transferred to the non-fiction department and it became quite obvious that she had the ability to find gems in the company's slush pile. And not just the well written work but also the badly written ones that could earn the company millions.

She'd climbed the ranks in the ten years and even though she was not nearly as thin as she'd been in her modeling days, she was still very attractive. And intimidating.

As Ji Won waited for Ms. Jung's secretary to let her in, she practiced everything she was going to stay to her. She knew it wouldn't be easy but she didn't have a choice. A few minutes later, she was standing in her boss's office.

"Hello, Ji Won," she said, smiling brightly at her. "How are you doing? Why don't you sit down?" As Ji Won did, she asked, "How's the Yoon memoir coming along?"

Ji Won cleared her throat. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Ms. Jung dropped the pen in her hand. "What about it?" She'd always been good at reading people so she already knew what she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear.

Ji Won inhaled and tried to look confident. "I don't think I'll be able to work on it any longer."

"Excuse me?" She smiled even though it was clear that her eyes were far from pleasant. In the past month alone, she'd already had two editors quit in the middle of major revisions and didn't have the patience to accommodate a third.

Ji Won looked directly into her eyes. "I've tried but I don't think I'm a good fit for this project. I think someone else should take it over from me."

"You're only the first editor so someone else will work on it after you're done."

"I know."

"You're saying that you can't even finish this much?"

Ji Won nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Why not? And if you're having problems, why am I only hearing about it now? You must at least be halfway through it by now. Am I correct?"

Ji Won nodded again. "I'm sorry but please give it to someone else. I don't think I can work on it any longer."

She smirked. "Is this some kind of joke? Weren't you the one who begged me for this opportunity? How many meetings did you have with me because we wanted to try something different? And after going out on a limb for you, even though you have no experience with this, after giving you a high profile project, you've decided to fu.ck it all up?"

Ji Won looked away. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head in irritation and hissed. "Go and apologize to someone who gives a sh.it. Are you out of your mind? You know you're not working with a newbie writer, right? If we have problems with this project, there's a good chance it will get leaked to the press."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear that again! I don't give a fu.ck about your apology." Her voice softened. "What's the problem?"

Ji Won looked down and didn't say anything. It's not like she could tell her boss the real reason.

"Miss Na, your career is on the line here. If you want me to take you seriously, you're going to have to give me a good reason for dropping this project. I read the synopsis and this book has the potential to top the bestseller lists for months. Give me an explanation that makes sense!"

Ms. Jung was still waiting for Ji Won's response when her secretary buzzed and informed her that Shin was on the line for her.

Intrigued by the coincidence, she glanced at Ji Won then picked up the phone.

"Hello, Mr. Yoon, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while."

"I'm fine Ms. Jung. I just called to touch base with you about the book and heap praise on your editor, Miss Na," he replied cheerfully.

"Oh really?" She raised her brow then studied Ji Won who'd adopted a poker face. "Coincidently, Miss Na is in my office right now. May I put you on speaker?"

"Please do." When he was on speaker and Shin and Ji Won had exchanged forced pleasantries, he said, "A few minutes ago, I was reading some of the comments I've received from Miss Na and I must say that they are very insightful. One gets used to writing a certain way and it's certainly great to see one's work from a different perspective. I think that my writing will be the better for it." He paused. "I think this just might be my best book yet and it's all because of Miss Na. I'm already thinking of the follow-up book and I'd love her to work on that too."

After praising her some more, and having some small talk with Ms. Jung, the call ended.

Ms. Jung turned to Ji Won. "That was interesting." She'd been studying her employee throughout the call and from the way her body had tensed up when she heard his voice, she could bet a few thousand Won that sex was somehow involved in this whole mess.

She cleared her throat. "Is he hitting on you? Sexually harassing you?"

Ji Won looked up and shook her head. She knew that if she dared accuse him of that, her letters to him would come back and bite her in the as.s. Talk less of Aruba. "That's not it."

"Well," her boss said in frustration, "if you're not going to give me a reasonable explanation, I'm going to assume that you're someone I cannot trust. The client loves your work yet you don't think it's a good fit for you. I'll give you some time to think about it. Come back on Monday and give me your final decision."

***

Two days later, Ji Won got home and found a package lying in front of her door. It looked like it had been messengered over and received by one of her neighbors. She picked it up, walked into her apartment, shut the door and ripped it open. Just as she'd suspected, she found the chapters she'd previously mailed to Shin. She pulled them out and checked to see if he'd included a note but there was nothing. It wasn't like she wanted an apology but if he seriously wanted to keep working with her, didn't it make a little sense to apologize? Instead, he sent back the package as she'd sent it - including the note she'd attached - essentially refusing her rejection.

She dumped the package on her dinning table and sat down on a chair. What was she going to do? Should she send the package back and make it clear that there was no way she could work with him? She bent her head over. It was all so tiring. She reached for the package and tapped her fingers on it. Could she really risk her career over this B.S.?

Chapter 16

2010-12-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

"Pil Suh yah," I heard a voice say as I was awoken from my sleep. On arriving in Seoul, the truck driver had dropped me off at the given address and left. No, he wasn't a cruel man who thought it was right to leave a little boy alone in a strange city but after ringing the doorbell and waiting for over an hour, he had to leave in order to make his other appointments.

I stood in front of the building, the cold seeping through my shoes and freezing my toes, watching people enter and exit the building without giving me a second look.

The man told me that my mother would be picking me up but since, at the time, I was still vague on what she looked like, I smiled at every woman who passed by and each time, they looked through me.

Finally, when I no longer had much energy to remain standing, I placed my bag at the foot to the door, sat on it, bent my head over and went to sleep.

"Wake up, Pil Suh," the woman said, shaking me some more.

As I opened my eyes and looked at her, I realized that my face was slightly frozen and every single muscle twitch I made was met with a crack and subsequent pain.

She placed her hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry for being late. I couldn't get away sooner. Get up. Let's go in." She waited for me to pick up my bag then opened the door to the building.

As I followed her up the narrow stairs, I lied that I liked the dingy, cold place. The wooden stairs were filthy and creaked with every single step. The railings looked so old and dirty that one would have thought that they led to a coal mine.

"That's good."

"Do you live here alone?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I don't live here."

"Where do you live?" I asked, exhaling. My mood brightened at the thought of living elsewhere.

"With my husband and children. My friend lives here," she said, "and you'll be staying with him for a while. Halmoni taught you how to clean a house, right?" She glanced back at me.

I nodded.

"Good."

Ji Won put down the manuscript in her hand. How was it possible that while editing a cookbook called, "Real Men Are Vegan," she was thinking of Shin's story? After some deep reflection, and thoughts of unemployment, she decided that she was a professional and could work with him for a few more weeks. All she'd have to do was mail him the edited chapters and he'd simply mail her his work. It was simple and efficient and the way many relationships between editors and writers worked.

All would have been good if it wasn't already fours weeks since she'd sent him his last edited chapter and the last 'contact' she'd had with him. Even though he hadn't returned her edits to her, he hadn't sent any new chapters either. And ever since that fateful day she'd spoken to her boss, the woman had taken it upon herself to keep abreast of 'The Yoon Memoir' and Ji Won had run out of explanations for why, lately, she seemed to be working on all projects by his.

She picked up her phone and went through her guestbook. Was it odd that not only had she not deleted his number, she still had it listed under 'Jo Jin Mo?' She called the number and the second it was answered, said, "Hello?"

"Yes?"

"Ehm… this is Miss Na… Ji Won. Na Ji Won. Your editor?" She contorted her face in self-disgust. Why did she sound so stupid?

"Yes, I can tell from my caller-id." He sounded bored. "How may I help you?"

Considering the last thing he'd done was kiss her, he sounded way too formal and Ji Won was taken aback by his tone. "Er… Mr. uhm…." What should I call him? "Mr. Yoon?"

"Yes?"

She took a deep breath in and sat up straight. She was a professional for goodness sake and contacting a lazy writer was part of her job. "I haven't heard from you for a while and I just wanted to catch up."

"Okay."

"So how's the writing coming?"

Shin hesitated before saying, "It's not."

"What do you mean?"

"Writer's block."

"Writer's block?" Even though the condition was real, it was also an excuse many writers fell back on when they were dragging their feet on their work. It was usually her job to tell the difference. "How can you have writer's block? Aren't you just writing from memory?"

"So?"

"So what are you having problems with?"

He sighed. "Don't worry about it, okay? The second I write something, I'll send it to you."

"Which would be when? In the next week or so? We were doing so well before. I don't want us to get behind on our schedule."

"I don't know. But when I do, you'll know about it, okay? Bye—"

"Hold up." What was wrong with the guy? He sounded strange and not the least bit like the person, or persons, she'd known. "Are you rushing me off the phone?"

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. But it sounded like you were." And why were his responses so curt and cold? Wasn't she the one who'd been wronged? She was the one supposed to be giving all the attitude and not him. Over a month earlier, she'd promised not to attach any emotions to all her dealings with him yet it looked like he was determined to piss her off. "Don't rush me off the phone."

"Okay." After a moment of silence, he said, "If that's all—"

Ji Won groaned. They were so not getting anywhere – she still didn't know when to expect his next chapter. "Let's meet."

"Sorry?"

"Let's meet up and talk."

"Why? About what?"

"Let's just meet up and talk, okay? Let's talk about the problems you're having. When are you free? Name the time and place and I'll be there. Whenever and wherever you want."

After a few seconds, he said, "Meet me in front of the Museum of Fine Arts at 2pm."

"When? Today?" She hadn't expected to meet him so soon.

"Yes. Will that be a problem?"

"No. See you there."

***

"Why am I not surprised you're here at 1:40?"

He was smiling. From his demeanor on the phone, it was the last thing she expected. She noticed he'd gotten a haircut and another thing she noticed was that those feelings of attraction had somehow returned. Could a guy become incredibly hot over the course of a few weeks? She didn't know how or why but there was something about his smiling brown eyes and chiseled jaw that made her eyes fall onto his lips. She sucked in her breath and looked away but not before she stole a quick glance at his body.

Casually dressed in jeans and a light jacket, his body looked as trim and toned as ever, and she suddenly felt the need to run her fingers over his bare chest. She turned around and took a deep breath in. Was she ovulating? What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she acting like a horny school girl? Time had passed so she was no longer as mad as she'd initially been but it didn't mean that she'd forgiven him for what he'd done to her. No, there was no way she could be attracted to a vengeful guy who'd toyed with her feelings like she was an arcade game. With those thoughts in mind, she stole another glance at him and unfortunately, the attraction was still there. She just had to work on getting rid of that.

He stepped in front of her and handed her a ticket. "The exhibition is this way," he said, leading her to a short queue a few meters ahead.

They didn't say much to each other as they waited in line, but when they were standing in front of the first painting, Shin said, "I've always liked Mr. Schmidt's work and when I heard the exhibition would be in Seoul, I just had to come. Today's the first day. It'll be running for about 6 weeks."

Ji Won nodded but kept her lips together. As she looked at all the other people around, she wondered what she was doing there and what it had to do with his memoir. "About your writer's block…," she began to say.

Shin shook his head. "Can we hold off on that conversation? I want to look at these paintings first. It helps me."

Art was never really Ji Won's thing and she was one of those people who needed abstract art explained to her. But she did like Schmidt's work – at least he painted things she could easily recognize. A painting of a bowl with two apples next to it she could get. A canvas with eight colors splashed against one another, she couldn't.

She followed Shin as they navigated through the rooms till she spotted a painting and laughed. "Now I see why you like his work." She smirked. "A woman in her bra and no panties. Yep. This is art."

He laughed. "No. If you look over there, you'll see some still life paintings," he said, pointing at another wall in the next room. Her call had been unexpected. He'd understood that it was pointless having any fantasies about being with her so he'd spent some time trying to come to terms with the love that could never be. He hadn't been completely honest about having writer's block because he definitely had new chapters to send to her but every time he tried to stuff one in an envelope, he stopped himself. Something about sending them off felt so final. Almost like he'd finally accepted that the only relationship they could have was as a very impersonal editor and writer. So as in every aspect of his life but writing, he'd procrastinated.

She looked over at the still life paintings then tut-tutted. "Yet, we are in the section featuring pseudo-nudes."

He laughed again. "Not really. The lady in that painting," he said, pointing at one on the adjacent wall, "is full clothed."

He walked over to it and she followed. He stared at it for a few seconds before saying, "What I really like about Schmidt's work is that they are so alive. He somehow manages to capture so much emotion and life in his work that just by looking at this, I feel like I know everything about this woman."

"Really? Like what?" She studied the painting and tried to see if she shared his feelings.

"Well, she's sitting by the window, staring outside. You can see the other buildings and from the people in those windows, you know that this is obviously an urban setting. She looks around late twenties/early thirty and from the ring on her finger, you can see that she's married. But not a newlywed. There's a certain sadness about her that only a woman married for a few years can possess."

She laughed. Silly guy. "Go on."

"I think that's a baby sock on her bed so we can guess that she's a young mother. She's way too relaxed in the chair so she's not looking out, searching for someone. It looks like she's bored, just trying to kill time so she's people-watching from her bedroom window. She's a housewife but she's bored with it. Instead of sitting in front of the couch, killing time by watching television, she's staring outside the window because that's where she wants to be."

Ji Won nodded. Everything he said made sense. She was about to say something complimentary till she remembered that this was a business call. "I see how this might help you with your writer's block."

"Yeah, I can write a short story about a woman by the window but how's that going to help me with my memoir?" he joked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe help get your creative juices flowing? I think it'll be a good idea to write something, just anything tonight. Why don't you try to write something tonight and call me tomorrow? Maybe we can keep a schedule and if you need my help in any way – maybe you need some motivation— I'll be more than happy to help you. It'll be good to get back to working on your memoir."

Instead of responding, Shin walked over to the next painting "Why don't you give it a go?"

"Pardon?"

"This painting. What do you see?" When he saw that she was about to refuse, he added, "Maybe seeing it from your perspective might help me."

Ji Won frowned. Yeah, right. But she decided to play along. "A little boy. He's running in the field to catch his school bus," she said, describing the painting called, "Boy Running Through Field."

Shin hissed. "Can you even see a road ahead?"

She squinted in an attempt to see if anything looked like a road. "No."

"So he's going to run miles just to catch the bus? People normally do that when the bus stop isn't so far away. When it's far, they simply walk."

Ji Won rolled her eyes. "Okay, what do you see?"

He studied it for a few moments before saying, "His father works in the city so he only sees his family on the weekends. This child loves his father. So as soon as the school bell goes off, he runs out of school so that he can be home when his father gets back from work."

"You don't even see a house. So how far is he going to run? Will he be able to make it?"

"Yeah," he said, not taking his eyes off the painting. "He has the stamina."

"So your boy has stamina but mine doesn't."

He nodded. "Mine is running on pure adrenaline."

"Bullsh.it."

He frowned at her for a moment before his lips broke into a smile and he chuckled. She looked at him then shook her head and laughed too.

They were looking at the next painting when he said, "You're looking well. Even though it's not even been two months since I saw you, it feels so much longer."

Ji Won pretended not to hear him and kept looking at the painting of an old couple sitting on a park bench.

But Shin wasn't discouraged. He owed her an apology and it was time for him to give it to her. He cleared his throat. "About what you wrote in those letters… what you felt for Pil Suh…"

She sharply turned her head to him. "Please, let's not talk about it. I'm here to help you with your writer's block."

"… those feelings you had for Pil Suh were mutual. I know you may not think—"

She clapped her hands once and glared at him. "Didn't I just say that we shouldn't talk about this?"

"Why not?" He was going to stand his ground even if it was the last thing he did. "I need to clear the air. I know that some time has passed but this is the only tension that exists between us."

"There's no tension between us, Mr. Yoon," she said sweetly, hoping that he could see she was being very serious. "Just forget about it and focus on getting rid of your writer's block so that we can finish this book."

"You're still mad," he said knowingly. Seven months after she left him in her hotel room, he'd still been mad so it definitely made sense to him.

"I'm not mad."

"The kiss… as you know, it was just for show. Just to piss off your ex-boyfriend. And it worked." He decided to tackle the easiest problem first and was glad that he had a reasonable excuse for what he'd done that day. "I hope you're not mad about that."

"LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS!" She looked around to see if any of the other museum guests were listening to their conversation but luckily most of them had headphones on.

"I listened to your apology. When you said you needed to apologize, I listened to you," he said plainly.

She looked up at him from the corner of her eye. "So now, I must do the same for you?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"It wouldn't hurt."

"It's tit for tat, huh?"

"If thinking that will make you listen to me, then yes."

She realized that there was no way of getting out of it. "Okay, speak."

He walked over to the next painting and waited till she was standing next to him. "I didn't plan on fooling you. It wasn't some elaborate hoax to hurt your feelings and get revenge. That first night we met… at the restaurant… from the look on your face, it was so obvious that you didn't want me to be Pil Suh."

She scoffed. "So it's my fault?"

"I didn't say that. I was mad and I made a stupid decision. Things weren't supposed to escalate so much and before I knew it, it got out of hand. It wasn't about getting revenge. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I hope you believe me. And even the letters, if you remember correctly, I didn't start them. You wrote me first."

"I really like how you're trying to blame everything on me."

He shook his head. "I'm not. I'm just explaining what happened. I think what I really loved about those letters was that I could be myself. My real self. I didn't have to pretend to be anyone else or act aloof or talk about myself in third person." He chuckled. "That got really annoying. I could be completely honest with you and you don't know how good it felt to talk to you that way and to have you respond in kind."

He looked at her and she quickly looked away. She really didn't like the way hearing him speak made her feel. Like he was the Yoon Pil Suh she'd written to. Like he was that guy she'd fallen for.

"I—"

The sound of someone calling him interrupted him mid-sentence and both of them turned around to find a petite, pretty woman smiling up at him. She was dressed in a smart skirt and blouse and looked like one of those women who fancied herself sophisticated.

"Hey, Shin ah. I'm surprised to see you!" she said, looking genuinely surprised.

"Really?" he said, rolling his eyes. It had been years since he'd seen her and even though it showed, she still looked good. Not that that made him any happier to run into her. "Surprised that I'm alive?" he said before he could stop himself.

"No," she said, a frown appearing on her face for a brief second before giving way to the smile, "but I guess I shouldn't be the least bit surprised after all, it's Schmidt's opening day. I still have the Schmidt you got me. It hangs in our living room."

He tried his best to ignore her last statement then introduced her to Ji Won.

"So, how's married life?" he asked after a few moments of awkwardness. It wasn't hard seeing her but it wasn't exactly easy either.

"It's great."

The smile appeared to be permanently on her face and Shin found it a little annoying.

"Really? Wasn't your husband arrested for securities fraud?" he asked with relish. It was quite pathetic how happy he'd been the day he read about it in the papers.

"Yes but he's currently dealing with that. He was framed."

He scoffed. "Yeah, every crook is innocent."

Ji Won was absolutely intrigued with the exchange taking place in front of her. And curious. Shin's demeanor was strange – like he was fighting to keep an uncountable number of emotions from surfacing.

The lady frowned. "Gosh, how many years has it been, Shin? You can be such a child, Yoon Pil Suh."

Feeling slightly shamed, he broke into a smile and laughed. He was no longer mad at her but for some reason, he still wanted to get under her skin. Not that any of that would erase any of the pain he'd endured because of her. But he really was over it. "Why don't you give me a hug?" he asked before hugging her.

When they were done, she said, "I'm sure I'll run into you soon enough. We should catch up some time. I know you're going to be back here before the exhibition leaves this place. I'm planning on coming here at least once a week."

"Oh really? What day do you think you'll be coming so that I can make sure I'm not here then?"

She laughed and hit him playfully. "You're so silly. I'll see you around," she said before kissing him on the cheek and turning around.

They both watched her leave and when she was no longer within earshot, Shin said, "It's funny how she thinks I'm kidding," he whispered into Ji Won's ear.

Suddenly noticing how close they were standing to each other, Ji Won took a step way. "Friend of yours?"

He nodded. "An old friend." He glanced at his watch. "Damn. I have a dentist appointment in twenty minutes. Sorry, I have to leave," he said before turning around and walking towards the entrance.

Ji Won turned back to the painting they'd been looking at. So many things had happened in the last few minutes but before she could begin to process them, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned around to see Shin. "What?"

"Let's talk some more tomorrow. You know what you were saying about setting up a schedule and all that? Let's do that."

She nodded. "Sure."

"I'll pick you up at 10 am, then."

"Excuse me?" Pick who up? "Call me tomorrow – I'm not working so I won't be at the office."

"I know - it's the weekend. I'll see you at 10. In front of your apartment building. Bye."

Chapter 17

2008-06-05T23:00:00.002-07:00

Ji Won stepped out of her car, locked its door and walked to her apartment building.

"I'll pick you up at 10am."

She couldn't remember the last time she'd fixated so much on six little words. Especially six little words that in a different context would have been perfectly non-threatening and perhaps welcome. Not that she knew if they were exactly unwelcome, either. She hadn't known what to expect when she agreed to meet Shin at the museum but now she knew she was even more confused than ever. What the hell was going on in his head? Or in hers for that matter?

She was still pondering this when she heard someone call out her name. She turned around to find Joon Young sitting on the curb.

She turned away and groaned. Did she really need this? She was stressed enough as it was. She took a deep breath and went into stealth mode. Maybe, just maybe if she pretended not to see him, he'd take the hint and go away. When she got closer to the building entrance, she picked up her pace and practically ran to it.

"Ji Won ah," she heard just as she was about to reach for the door.

"Ji Won ah! Ji Won ah! Ji Won!" he repeated loudly. "Ji Won ah, you're here! My beautiful Ji Won… Ji Won ah… Won-Won…."

One of her neighbor's gave her a weird look as he walked past her and she turned around and watched as Joon Young staggered towards her.

She shook her head in disgust and hissed. "You're drunk," she said redundantly. She took two steps back and leaned against the wall next to the door. "What do you want?" she asked, scrunching her nose. Even if she'd been in a bar, she doubted it would have reeked so much of alcohol.

Joon Young smiled brightly as she walked to her. "Wonnie, I'm so glad to see you," he said, reaching for her. She stepped aside to avoid his touch and he kept staggering till he hit the door. "Wonniebabybooboo…"

Ji Won grimaced. In the years she'd known him, she'd only seen him drunk a handful of times and never in those times had he taken to calling her ridiculous pet names. She sighed. Whatever was going on with him, it was obviously something awful and even though she didn't want to, she couldn't help but care. She lowered her voice. "Joon Young, what do you want?"

He pointed at the door. "Let's go in and talk," he said, slurring his words.

She shook her head. "Say what you want to say here."

He slumped against the door and slid down to the ground. "Wonnie…."

***

Ji Won stood over Joon Young's body sprawled across her couch. Shortly after she'd dragged him into the apartment, he'd fallen on it and passed out.

She sighed as she knelt beside his body. Why did she have to spend her evening taking care of a drunk ex? It wasn't like she had a whole bunch of things planned but babysitting Joon Young was certainly not on the agenda. She thought of calling his dad or one of his friends to pick him up but she thought better of it. Joon Young could be quite proud and if she let someone get him, she knew that he'd be very embarrassed the next morning.

She smiled to herself as she held onto his left leg and took off the shoe. How sad was it that even through all he'd put her through, she still cared about his feelings? She didn't care about him the way she had that evening she'd agreed to be his wife but they'd been together for a long time and on most of those days, he'd made her happy. Very happy. And even though things had ended badly, looking at him breathing softly, looking just like the man she'd been in love with, she was surprised to discover that she no longer regretted all the years they'd spent together. They'd made a lot of pleasant memories together and even though she could no longer treasure them close to her heart, she still couldn't help but think of them fondly, after all, as far as she was concerned, their love had been real and there was no point thinking of that love as wasted.

She stood up and grabbed the blanket she'd pulled out of the closet. And as she placed it over him, she couldn't help but notice that he looked like he'd lost at least ten pounds since she'd seen him that fateful day at the restaurant.

She grabbed a pillow, placed it under his head then stood up straight and turned around. As she walked to the kitchen to find something to eat, she realized that after all was said and done, no matter what happened in the future, above it all, she wished him a happy life.

***

Ji Won woke up to the sound of the shower running and Joon Young humming. Disoriented, she automatically smiled till she remembered what year it was and what had transpired the previous night. Joon Young thought he had far more singing talent than he actually possessed so Ji Won had woken up far too many times to the sound of him singing at the top of his lungs and apparently, that aspect of his personality still remained. She got off her bed, threw on her robe and as she walked towards her bedroom door, she slowly picked up the scent of cooked bacon. She didn't even have to open her door to know that she'd walk over to her dinning table and find two place settings and a plate of bacon and another filled with spicy scrambled eggs. It had been a Joon Young staple and apparently that was another thing about him that hadn't changed.

She walked around her bedroom at the same moment Joon Young walked out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully.

Ji Won nodded and looked away. "Good morning to you too."

"I see you still have my towel," he said, tapping his waist.

"It's not yours," she replied walking past him.

"But I'm the only that ever uses it."

She stopped walking and turned her head. She wasn't in the mood for a trip down memory lane. "Are you sure?" she asked and after missing a beat and letting that sink in, resumed walking till she was at the dinning table.

"You didn't have to do this," she said, staring down at the table.

"It's only breakfast – no big deal. It's just like old times, don't you think?" he asked before disappearing back into the shower to get dressed.

A few minutes later, he was out and dressed in his previous day's clothing. After apologizing for his drunken behavior, he looked around the room. "I really miss this apartment," he said, walking over to Ji Won who was sitting at the dinning table staring at the untouched food. "I'm hungry." He pulled out a chair and sat down. "It's funny," he said, reaching for one of the plates, "but my eggs always taste better here."

Ji Won watched him dish himself some food and after a few moments, said, "What do you want, Joon Young?"

"You," he said, before laughing uneasily. Then the smile disappeared from his face. "I want you back, Ji Won."

She folded her arms across her chest. "You can't be serious," she hissed, looking directly into his eyes.

He looked away and picked up his fork. "I'm dead serious. Doesn't this feel like old times? Don't you want this again? We've both had our fun so let's get back together," he said before scooping some scrambled eggs into his mouth. He smiled at her as he chewed his food.

Ji Won sighed. Did he really think that his charm still worked on her? How couldn't he see something that was so obvious to her? How couldn't he see that he was wasting his time?

He kept smiling at her but when all he got back were blank stares, he dropped the act. "I lost two contracts yesterday," he suddenly said solemnly. He looked uneasy as he picked up a slice of bacon.

"I'm sorry about that."

"One moment I was in my office talking to my former client and the next moment I was sitting at your doorstep. If you asked me what happened in between, I couldn't say." He paused to take a sip of orange juice. "All these months… I've not been myself. And it's because we're not together, Ji Won."

"You left me standing at the altar, Joon Young. You didn't even bother to show up or call me. You just left me standing there and sent a message through your friend. That's why we are not together."

He lowered his eyes. "It was a mistake that I'll regret for the rest of my life. But I love you. When I saw you with that guy," he said, his voice cracking, "I was so disgusted. I couldn't believe what you'd done but now I know I pushed you to him. Now, I understand that it's all my fault." He lifted his eyelids and looked directly into her eyes. "After all this time, I still love you."

"I don't love you, though."

"Stop trying to hurt me. We were in love together, remember? So I know exactly how much you loved me and I know it's not that easy for you to forget it."

"I haven't forgotten but I don't want it anymore." She leaned back into her chair and began to rock it.

"Because of that guy?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.

"No. Because you left me standing at the altar, Joon Young."

He looked up at her face and in a small voice said, "Can't you forgive me for that?"

Ji Won didn't think the question was worthy of a response.

"If you really loved me, you'd forgive me."

"If you really loved me, you'd have married me," she countered.

"I wasn't ready then, but I'm ready now. I was too stupid to see what I was sacrificing then but now I know that I need you in my life," he said in a pleading tone. He reached across and placed his palm over her hand which was laying on the table. "Please take me back." He looked around the room and smiled. "Don't you like how this feels? Seeing you first thing in the morning.... It feels great eating next to you and seeing you with your hair all tousled up wearing a battered old t-shirt with holes in it." He chuckled. "Let's get back together."

Ji Won covered his hand with her other hand and looked him directly in the eye. "Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? I'm never getting back with you so let this discussion end here forever." She took a deep breath in then patted his hand like a teacher would do to a 2nd grader. "Why don't you finish your breakfast while I go and take a shower? And oh, I have some things for you."

***

Ji Won played with the huge square cut diamond ring between her fingers and scoffed. At one point, she'd found it exquisite but now it was bordering on gaudy. She'd initially planned on returning it along with the other things Joon Young had left in her apartment but at the last minute, had decided against it.

She realized that she might be considered petty for holding onto the ring especially as returning it would also cut any ties that she might have with him, but on the other hand, she just didn't feel that he deserved to get it back. Why should he be able to return the ring and recoup some losses for an engagement he'd broken? She didn't plan on actually doing anything with it, but for now, the ring could keep on occupying the top drawer of her dressing table. She looked at it one more time before tossing it in its usual place.

Joon Young had only just left but when she walked into her living room, she noticed that he'd forgotten to take the jacket he'd worn the previous night so she quickly picked it up, grabbed her phone and ran out of her apartment.

***

Shin stifled a yawn as he tried to find a radio station that played music that made sense. He didn't consider himself a stiff old fuddy-duddy but he sometimes wondered if the youth of today were hearing impaired.

He was still searching for a station when he noticed a figure walk out of Ji Won's building. Since he was well aware of her penchant for earliness, he'd parked outside her apartment at around 9:25 am to surprise her. When he saw that it was a man walking out, he almost looked away till he realized that there was something familiar about him. He was still racking his brain trying to come up with a connection when he saw the man answer his phone then turn around and shortly after, when he saw him run up to the woman walking out of the building with a jacket in her hand, his heart stopped.

Chapter 18

2008-06-05T23:00:00.001-07:00

Chapter 18

Ji Won squinted to get a better look at the person sitting in the parked car. She probably wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't turned the engine on just as she was walking back to her building.

"Shin?" she whispered when she recognized him. Inexplicably, she suddenly felt self-conscious about her bare face and untidy hair. She looked heavenward and said a silent prayer thanking God that she was no longer in her ratty t-shirt and shorts. Then she looked back at the car and grunted in annoyance. What was wrong with her? And why did she suddenly care about looking good to him?

In defiance, she ran her fingers through her hair, roughening it up a bit but as she slowly walked over to him, she succumbed to vanity and finger combed her hair, hoping she looked presentable. Taking a deep breath, she knocked at the car window. "Hey," she said as he unwound it. She smiled at him but after seeing a mental image of herself looking like a fool, relaxed her cheek muscles.

"Hey," Shin echoed, not turning to look at her. He'd contemplated driving away but once she spotted him, he knew he'd been trapped. But he was still mad at her. So very mad.

"What are you doing here?" She asking loudly, titling her head away so that he couldn't get a full view of her face. "Didn't we agree on 10 o'clock?"

"We did."

"So you're just early?" she said in a sing-song voice. Then to her amazement, she giggled. She shut her eyes tightly in embarrassment. What was wrong with her?

"I guess so."

His tone snapped her back to reality. "You guess so?"

He shrugged and just kept looking ahead of him.

Ji Won glanced over to see if there was anything interesting occupying his attention but after confirming there was nothing, she frowned and looked back down at him. "Is everything alright?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

She stood there for a moment and tried to figure out if he was bipolar or something. It was only a day since he'd been so apologetic about everything and now he was acting so cold? "Has something come up? Is that why you're here now? You can't go anymore?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly.

"You don't know?" she repeated in amazement.

Shin looked at her for the first time since she'd approached his car. Then he hissed and looked away. Why did she have to be so damn beautiful? She looked exactly as he'd imagined she would have if he'd woken up next to her that morning in Aruba. He sighed and shook his head. He definitely hated that she was back with her ex but on the other hand, he had to be rational. It wasn't like they were dating so she had absolutely no obligations to him and she could very well date anyone she wanted to but that realization did nothing to loosen the knot of betrayal lying in the pit of his stomach. He took a deep breath in – he had to be rational. Or at least, mature. He'd been the one to invite her out so he had to see it through. "I'll wait here for you."

Ji Won scoffed. "If you don't want to go, it's fine. I mean, I don't even know where I'm going. You're the one who just randomly asked me to come out with you today so that we can work on your writer's block but if you want to cancel, it's more than fine by me. I have a lot of work to do anyway."

"We should go."

"Don't do me any favors. Because you really don't have to force yourself if you've changed your mind. You can probably solve your writing problems alone."

Shin sucked in some air. "Please, let's go. I'll wait here for you."

***

"Congratulations," a petite lady with a pixie cut said as she hugged Shin.

After driving for what seemed like centuries, driving past the sign that read, "Welcome to Incheon," with only the sound of the radio keeping them company, Shin had stopped at a modest but inviting house. Not knowing what sort of response she'd receive, Ji Won hadn't asked where they were or why they were even there. All she did was question her sanity for jumping into his car in the first place. He was clearly unstable and she should have known better. Who invites someone on a trip but doesn't say anything to them on their entire drive there?

Shin looked down at his friend in confusion. "Congratulations? Aren't you the ones celebrating your anniversary?"

The lady stepped back and laughed as a tall, beefy guy stepped over to her and wrapped his arm over her shoulder. "Yeah, but that's not as great as you finally moving on," she said, smiling warmly at Ji Won.

Ji Won furrowed her brows and looked from the lady to Shin. Huh?

Shin was equally confused so he asked his friend to elaborate.

"You know when—" Her words were cut short by a sharp nudge from her husband. "—she-who-shall-not-be-named left? You kinda became a slut. Remember that after going through all the women in town, you started trying it with us? You even hit on me!"

"I didn't go through every woman in town. Stop exaggerating. And okay, for about five minutes, while wearing my extremely thick beer goggles, I thought you were cute. Are you going to hang this over my head for the rest of my life?"

"Yes," she said earnestly. Then she broke into laughter. "But you know what? After all these years, I'm glad to finally see you taking a relationship seriously." She turned to Ji Won. "You must be one hell of woman for him to bring you all the way from Seoul to meet us today. And you look like a woman with a brain." She turned to Shin. "You've really grown up." Then she walked over to Ji Won and took her hand. "So, tell me everything. Where did you guys meet? How long have you been together? Will we be hearing wedding bells anytime soon?"

Ji Won gently took the lady's hand off hers and stepped back. "I think you might have the wrong idea. I'm not his girlfriend – I'm his editor."

"No, you're not." She turned to Shin. "Isn't your editor a man?"

Shin nodded. "But she's editing a different book."

She knitted her brows in confusion. "Then if you're his editor, what are you doing here?"

Ji Won shook her head. "I honestly don't know."

The lady narrowed her eyes and looked from Ji Won to Shin. There definitely was something fishy because she was sensing far more than a professional relationship between them. She smiled as an idea popped into her head. She cleared her throat and to Ji Won said, "But you're single, right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, really. But are you single? Do you have a boyfriend? Someone you're dating?"

Ji Won looked around and saw all eyes trained on her curiously, although Shins appeared to have enough intensity to punch holes through her. After ignoring her for so long, why did he suddenly care about anything she had to say?

"Miss, you might want to answer Ri Na because she's not going to let it go," the lady's husband adviced in an amused tone.

"It's true. Are you single? Do you have a boyfriend?"

Ji Won shook her head in annoyance. "No."

"No as in, you are not single or that you don't have a boyfriend?"

She groaned. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"What about someone you've just started dating? Maybe someone you think is nice but it's not yet serious?"

Ji Won sighed. "I'm as single as the day I was born," she snapped.

Ri Na nodded with satisfaction. "What about you, Shin? Are you single?"

"Mind your business, Ri Na," he said even though his voice was a lot softer than the words demanded.

Ji Won was a little taken aback by the sudden change in his mood.

"Do you find him attractive?" Ri Na asked Ji Won.

"Who?"

"Shin. The guy you came with."

"What?"

"There's no way you can't see that he's totally hot, right? When he joined our school, all the girls went gaga for him."

"Bully," Shin said, calling his friend by his high school nickname, "control your wife." He knew he should be annoyed by Ri Na's meddling but this was one time he was actually grateful that she loved poking her nose in other people's business.

After rolling her eyes at Shin, Ri Na pressed on. "So as I was saying, do you find him attractive?"

Ji Won could already feel her cheeks reddening. She really wanted to tell this annoying little grunt to shove a stick in her as.s but she knew she had to play it cool. If she looked the least bit affected by the questions, she could tell that Ri Na would only make things worse. She glanced at Shin before saying, "He's not ugly."

"Good. And Shin, do you—?"

"Yes," Shin quickly interjected.

The crowd erupted in a chorus of ooohs and ahhs.

At this point, the blood was practically gushing to Ji Won's cheeks.

"So, if he were to ask you out, would you say yes?"

She groaned. "God, what is this?" she asked under her breath.

"Is that a yes?"

Her eyes traveled around the room and when they landed on Shin, she saw him looking at everything but her. Why would she want to date such an annoying guy?

"We don't have all day."

Ji Won sighed loudly. "I don't know." She knew that saying yes wouldn't be the smart thing to do but saying no would only bring about more questions and she was already tired of having the spotlight on her.

"Cool," Ri Na said, nodding and smiling.

"What are you so happy about? She said she doesn't know," Bully said with a smirk.

"Exactly. A double negative. I do not no. The 'not' and the 'no' cancel each other out."

All the spectators burst into laughter. Everyone including Ji Won and Shin.

***

"Single?" a voice said just as Ji Won was about to bite into her kebab.

She turned to her side to see a man smiling at her. He was about her height and had a baby face she was sure hid his true age.

"So you are single? There's no ring on your finger," he said, pointing to it.

Ji Won dropped her kebab stick on her plate and turned to him. "I'm single. Weren't you here for my public humiliation?" She wasn't really one for making mundane conversations with strangers but what else could a person do at a party they weren't even invited to?

He chuckled. "Yeah, but I just wanted to confirm it. Because you know, single girls are almost extinct in these parts."

"You don't say."

"I'm dead serious. It's easier to find a leprechaun carrying a pot of gold than a single girl over 21."

Ji Won smiled. "Well, I guess that means you should look for one under 21."

He looked away in mock exasperation. "Just my luck. The one cute single I see thinks I'm a pervert."

She laughed. "Of course I don't. I'm just giving you some friendly advice."

"Ah. So I've made a new friend." He stretched his hand out. "I'm Chun Hee, by the way. Ri Na's older brother-in-law."

Ji Won took his hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you."

They made a bit more small talk before Chun Hee watched ahead as Ri Na walked across the yard with some drinks in her hand then shook his head. "When Bully brought her home to meet the family, we all begged him not to marry her," he said, taking his eyes off her and looking back at Ji Won.

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't know when to shut up."

She laughed.

"I'm serious. We can no longer have painless holiday dinners where we all eat in silence and ignore each other. No. She insists on talking and asking questions about things we don't want to discuss."

"Well, that's a good thing, right? It can help you guys get closer."

"No," he said, shaking his head vehemently. "Not when every dinner feels like a support group meeting. Hello everyone," he said, his voice suddenly getting nasal, "it's been exactly eight months, six days and twelve hours since my last drink."

Ji Won laughed. "It can't be that bad."

"Don't take it personal," Ji Won heard Shin say about two seconds before he was standing next to her. She suddenly stood straight and felt her body tense up. After the conversation with Ri Na, even though he hadn't spoken to her, she'd caught him staring at her at different moments during the day.

"Take what personal?" Chun Hee asked.

"Not you. I was talking to her," he said, turning to Ji Won.

She gave him a sidelong glance. "Take what personal?"

"His flirtations. He flirts with everyone."

Ji Won grimaced. Now he was being mean? Bipolar man was back.

"I really don't appreciate you tarnishing my image to her. Ji Won ssi, I'm not a flirt."

"Are you really denying it? Are you going to pretend you don't flirt with everyone? Heck, didn't you stalk me my first year in high school?"

"Hello, all the girls were after you so I was just making sure I was around to pick up all the broken hearts."

Ji Won let out a sigh of relief when she realized that Shin had been only joking. She turned to Chun Hee. "So other than breaking hearts, how else was he in high school?"

"Quiet. Withdrawn. So secretive. Always writing something in his notebook. The rumor was that he was constantly rating the girls he'd slept with."

"Huh?" Ji Won said.

"You know, like he'd be walking around and suddenly remember that Kang Da Hae was a really sloppy kisser so he'd quickly write it down so as not to forget it."

Ji Won burst out laughing. "Tell me you're making this up."

"It's enough, Chun Hee yah," Shin voice boomed. He couldn't understand how this knucklehead didn't know when to shut up. "Thanks for the trip down memory lane but I'm sure there's something else you can be doing other than bothering Miss Na over here."

"No, it's cool. He's not bothering me," she said, laughing. Shin obviously didn't enjoy being teased but she was loving it. Besides, it was pay back for what she'd had to endure earlier. "Chun Hee ssi, tell me more."

Chun Hee saw the look on Shin's face and knew that it was in his best interest to disappear. "Miss Na, it's been nice talking to you but I need to do something," he said before turning around.

As he walked away, Ji Won could already feel her body becoming more tense. They stood in silence for some uncomfortable seconds before she decided that she probably needed another drink.

She was about to say something to that effect when he said, "I guess you're just one of those people."

She frowned. Not again. He now wanted to pick a fight? "Which people?"

"One of those who gets along with everyone. I think Chun Hee is going to run out and get the biggest ring he can afford."

She laughed. "Yeah, just what I need right now – another proposal."

Shin hid a smile. She was definitely not back with her ex and it was embarrassing how good that made him feel. So good that he wanted to pick her up and give her a twirl.

"But," she continued, "I doubt he'll get a ring because after what happened earlier, it's pretty clear that I've been assigned as your wife."

He laughed. "Sorry about that. Ri Na can be so obnoxious at times."

"Which is why you hit on her when you were drunk?" she teased.

"With drunk being the operative word."

She shook her head and laughed again. "Is this somehow helping with your writer's block? Because, as much as this has been an interesting day, I still don't see how it's helping you."

"Well, coming back here will definitely help me trigger any memories I might have forgotten about this place. And having you here means that I'll constantly have to think about writing."

"It's comforting to know that when you see me all you can think about is writing," she said, not really liking the sound of it.

"If only that were true," he said with a sigh. He scratched the back of his head and smiled at her uncertainly.

"Yeah?" was all she could come up with.

Ji Won reluctantly glanced at him then looked away. Maybe he wasn't the only bipolar person around because she couldn't understand how the mood could go from being comfortable to uncomfortable in less than a nanosecond.

"Well," she said, taking a deep breath in, "I need to get another drink."

"Okay. But I was ordered to get you to come into the house and play Clue so let's go in when you've gotten your drink."

***

"So your name really is Shin?" Ji Won asked as soon as they were back on the road. The game of Clue had been more fun than she'd anticipated especially as she was playing with a bunch of strangers but watching Shin in his element, especially listening to his deductive reasoning had given her an insight to another side of his personality. "All your friends call you Shin so it must be your name."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course it's my name."

"But how so? Isn't your birth name Pil Suh?"

"It sure is."

"Then how did you get Shin out of it?"

"Hmm… should I tell you? It's kind of a secret but since you're my editor, I guess you deserve to know."

"Uh, okay."

"Back in my mid teens, I worked at a local coffee shop. One busy day, I mistakenly spilled scalding hot coffee on a gentleman's chest and he had to be rushed to the hospital. Naturally, I offered to make it up to him in any way I could so he asked me to visit his home every Wednesday evening. One thing led to another and we became good friends. He encouraged me a lot and began to read some of my stories and he's pretty much the reason I'm a writer today."

Ji Won nodded. "I see. And his name was Shin?"

"Bingo," he said, pointing at her. "I kind of took the name to honor him."

She thought about it for a moment. "But if he's the reason you're writing, shouldn't your pen name be Shin and not Pil Suh?"

He chuckled. "That would make more sense, wouldn't it?"

She frowned. "Meaning what? That you just made up that story?"

He laughed. "Pretty much."

She hit his arm playfully. "You know your stupid stories suck, don't you?"

"Is that why you don't read my novels?" he asked half-jokingly.

"Whatever," she said, not knowing what else to say. "Anyway, are you going to tell me the real reason you're called Shin?"

He shook his head. "Not today."

"Not today? Blech. You can be so annoying, Yoon Pil Suh."

"I can, can't I?" he joked as he hit the accelarator. They were only a few minutes away from their next destination and suddenly, he was feeling rather anxious.

Chapter 19

2008-06-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

Living with Mr. Yoo was as uneventful as the first day I met him. My mom had left me alone in the cold, strange apartment and after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the sound of keys rattling at the other side of the door. Startled, I sprung to my feet out of both fear and curiosity and wondered which of the million scenarios I'd imagined in the hours I'd waited for him would come to pass. So when the door finally opened, with my bag held tightly against my chest, I held my breath and watched as a scraggly man walked into the apartment.

The first thing I noticed was that he was tall and thin with a very short crop and a full beard. For all the time I spent with him, I often wondered why he spent so much time ensuring that the hair on his head never grew past an inch but never spared a second for the beard that was so big it probably housed a colony of chicks. But then again, he seemed to dance to the beat of his own drum. On that first day, after walking into the apartment dressed in very dirty jeans and what had probably once been a white t-shirt, instead of introducing himself to me like most others would, he didn't even spare me a single glance. Instead, he headed straight into the bathroom and before I could figure out if he'd seen me or not, turned the shower on.

Surprised, I sat back on the floor and waited then ten minutes later, watched as he walked out of the bathroom in a pair of clean pajamas and walked into the kitchen to prepare himself some dinner. The entire scene was confusing. From his actions, it was obvious that he wasn't blind yet, he'd completely ignored me. What exactly did that mean? Did it somehow imply that he'd only grudgingly agreed to take me into his care? Had one of my least desirable scenarios come to pass? Now more frightened that I'd ever been, I was silently debating calling out to him when he suddenly plopped a plate of rice and vegetables at my feet.

"I'm sorry," he said, smiling down at me and showing off surprisingly white teeth. "That's all I have right now. I planned to get groceries today but I forgot. I'll try to get some meat this weekend. Please manage it," he pleaded kindly. And without waiting for a response, he sat next to me and dug into his food.

The rest of our days together didn't deviate much from our initial meeting. He wasn't one for small talk and only spoke when necessary. But even though he didn't say much, he was quite thoughtful because when he noticed that I liked to read, he went out of his way to bring discarded magazines and books he found at his workplace home for me. Over time, I got used to his personality and realized that he was so forgetful that if I wanted to have meat for dinner, I've have to walk over to the nearby market to buy some with the money he often remembered to give to me.

It was on one such day that I met the old, sturdy man who'd later change my life forever.

"Where are we now?" Ji Won asked as Shin pulled into the driveway of a moderately sized house.

"You'll see," he replied coyly as his foot hit the brakes.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes and winding up the window.

Shin chuckled and did the same. Then he glanced at her and smiled to himself.

The conversation they'd shared during their car ride had been far more pleasant that he remembered and that had helped calm his nerves. His entire relationship with Ji Won thus far had been more than a little confusing and volatile but now, he was really beginning to feel like they'd turned a corner.

About a minute later, Ji Won had just stepped out of the car when the front door to the house opened and out walked a white-haired man with wire-rimmed glasses and a curious smile. Even though she'd never met the man, she instantly recognized him. She sighed and turned to Shin. "Why didn't you tell me we were coming to see your grandparents?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention it? I hope you don't mind," he said, avoiding her eyes.

Ji Won looked to him and then to the old man waiting patiently at the door and felt her heart race. For some inexplicable reason, she wanted to make a good impression on him and after silently cursing Shin for not warning her, glanced at her clothing and hoped that they were appropriate.
***

After mentally agreeing to suck it up and be satisfied with her clothing, Ji Won turned around and watched Shin open the trunk and pull out a gift bag. Her eyes widened in disbelief. "What the hell is that?"

Shin looked at the red and brown bag then back at her. "What does it look like?" he asked, slamming the trunk shut.

"Is it someone's birthday?" She marched over to him.

He nodded innocently and avoided her eyes. "Yeah, my grandmother. It's tomorrow."

"Wow," she said, rolling her eyes and walking in front of him. "Now, I look like a stingy bi.tch. Since you knew we were coming down here, you could at least have told me about it and given me the chance to get something." Yes, the lady was only her writer's grandmother but that didn't mean that she shouldn't be courteous, did it? She would probably have been able to write it off as a business expense. She glanced back at him and hissed in annoyance.

Shin giggled from behind her. "If it bothers you that much, I can add your name to the card."

She was about to respond with a cutting remark when she heard her phone ring. She excused herself and pulled out her phone and saw that it was her mother calling. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at it for a few seconds while it rang, not sure of what to do next.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" He didn't even want to think of who it could be.

She took a deep breath in then flipped the phone open. Even though she knew she was going to get yelled at for not keeping their dinner date, she also realized it would be rude to not apologize to her mother. She'd avoided previous dinner dates because she was sure her mother was trying to fix her up with someone and had only been cornered into this one by her sister. And now that she'd unintentionally missed dinner, she was sure her mother wouldn't buy her excuse. Funny how the woman used to believe her lies but now, would probably not believe the truth. But what the heck? She was a grown woman and had to face the music somehow.

***

Shin's grandmother dropped the plate of roast chicken on the table and looked at the small spread of rice and vegetables next to it. "I wish you'd told me you were coming over this evening and especially that you were bringing a guest with you," she said for the umpteenth time. "If I'd known, I'd have prepared something better."

"Oh, I see," her husband said. "So you only cook good things when there are guests coming?"

She shrugged. "Isn't it obvious? Why bother going to great lengths for you when you'll eat anything?" she teased.

Ji Won smiled to herself. Moments like this always reminded her of the life she'd expected to lead with Joon Young and how she'd imagined they'd grow old together. Not that she could really picture him teasing her like that.

Shin father shook his head at his wife. "Instead of appreciating me, keep talking like that. Before you know it, you'll end up losing me to a beautiful young girl."

His wife scoffed and picked up his plate to serve him. "Not even in your dreams."

"You think I'm kidding?" he continued. "Beautiful young girls hit on me everyday. I'm still very attractive, you know?" He turned to Ji Won. "You think I'm attractive, don't you? Look at me properly," he said, lifting his chest and sitting up straight, "Don't you think I'm attractive? I'm probably your type, right?"

Suddenly brought into their bickering in a particularly odd way, Ji Won found herself speechless. She parted her lips but couldn't think of what would be the right thing to say. "Ehm…," she began.

Shin chuckled then touched her arm for support. "Just ignore him – he just loves to tease people and make them feel uncomfortable. I thought he was so weird when I first started living with him but he's just teasing. Ignore him."

Ji Won sank into her chair, relieved that she didn't have to respond.

"Yes, ignore him like I do," his wife said, placing his full plate in front of him. Then she pointed at the dishes. "Please dig in."

***

About 10 minutes into their dinner, Shin's grandfather put down his chopsticks and looked at his grandson. "So you thought I was weird?"

Shin chuckled and nodded. The moment those words had escaped his lips, he knew he'd have to explain himself at some point. "Of course I thought you were weird. What kind of man follows a little boy all around a food market? All you did was say hello to me then follow me around for about fifteen minutes. Who does that?"

"A weirdo," his grandmother supplied.

It was Shin's turn to put down his chopsticks. "And not only did you follow me that first time, you just happened to be at the market the next two times I was there, standing a few feet away staring at me. It was quite creepy and scary now that I think about it."

"I can imagine. But think about how I felt. Seeing you that first time was like being struck by lightning. Or maybe you can say, being hit by a meteorite and being transported to twenty-five years earlier. You were pretty much the spitting image of my son. There's no right way to react to that."

Shin flinched despite himself. Even though he felt he'd dealt with his abandonment issues, he still didn't like being compared to a man who'd done absolutely nothing for him in his life.

Ji Won noticed the slight change in his demeanor and finally understood why she'd been invited to share his private family moments with him. Maybe she was there to weed out topics he had yet to explore in his memoir… a topic like his father.

"But when you finally agreed to move here, I learned that you were nothing like Hee Chul," his grandfather mused.

Ji Won looked from grandfather to grandchild and recalled that part of the story. Apparently, unbeknownst to him, his grandfather had followed him one day and waited for Mr. Yoo to return from work. Unlike most normal people, instead of speaking with him that day, he'd stalked him for a few days before showing up at his workplace. As Shin wasn't present at any of these conversations, he was very shocked when about a month after meeting the old man, he learned he'd be living with him permanently. Shin had fought tooth and nail to not go home with the weird stranger but Mr. Yoo promised him that it would be for the best.

Shin grandmother reached over the table and touched Shin's cheek gently then smiled fondly at him. "At first I thought you were mute or just hadn't developed your language skills properly. You were so shy and didn't like to be around us. I think 'yes' and 'no' were the only words you spoke to me for about six months. And no matter how hard I tried to get to know you, you didn't open up."

"Halmoni, you're exaggerating," he said gruffly.

Ji Won turned to him and was shocked to see that he'd begun to blush furiously. So he knew how to be embarrassed? Yoon Pil Suh? What the heck?

"No, I'm serious. I was so worried and embarrassed and ashamed that someone I had given birth to was so heartless and had allowed his own flesh and blood to lead such a miserable life."

"It wasn't miserable," Shin defended. "It was different and probably wasn't ideal but I always felt loved. By my grandmother, by Aunt Oo Ra, by Uncle Bong Chol and even Mr. Yoo. And then, of course, by you guys," he said, waving his hand aimlessly. "So you see, it wasn't miserable." He picked up his glass of water and took a sip to wet his suddenly dry mouth. Even though it had been years, he still hated being pitied.

"No, it wasn't," his grandfather said with fake cheer. "It made you who you are today. A great man."

Shin laughed. "Hey, you don't have to take it too far."

His grandmother averted her eyes and fought to fight back tears. "No, it wasn't a miserable life," she said through a choked voice. Then she reached out and touched Shin's arm. "No, it wasn't miserable at all." It was something she'd been trying to reassure herself for over ten years and something she'd yet to fully believe.

Ji Won stared at her plate as the dinning room fell into uncomfortable silence. She put some rice in her mouth as she let the reality of what was being said sink in. She'd been far removed from his life story because she'd simply been treating it as words on paper. Paragraphs in a chapter. As pages in a book. She'd solely been viewing the story from an editor's point of view but now that it had been both humanized and validated, now that she suddenly realized that everything he'd written had really happened to him, her heart suddenly felt heavy with sadness and regret. And pity about the happy childhood he'd never gotten to experience. She glanced at him then looked back at her plate. Poor thing, she thought.

"Harbuji, remember how you used to drop mathematical equations in front of me and order me to solve them?"

His grandfather laughed. "You constantly had your nose in your notebook writing and writing so I wondered if you'd inherited my genes and were a genius and since we didn't think you were quite ready for school, that was my way of investigating it."

"And the result was…?" his wife asked, smiling and leading him to the punchline.

"And the result was that you weren't a genius at all! At your age, you should have at least been able to do long division!"

Shin pouted. "Hey, it's not my fault that I'd never been to school!"

They all laughed. "An excuse that would have been valid if you'd understood it after attending school," his grandmother joked.

"Whatever, men. Why do I need to learn long division when I can just use a calculator?"

Ji Won sat quietly, smiling and laughing as she watched the friendly family banter. Seeing Shin as a fully rounded person, not simply as this writer who'd lied to her and gotten on her nerves, she suddenly found herself developing some kind of respect for him. For the man who'd managed to create a full, productive life out of a history that could have made him a bitter, unhappy adult wielding an axe to grind against the world. And as she watched him laugh and tease his grandmother, she inexplicably felt proud of him. No, that wasn't it. She wasn't proud of him but instead, proud to know him. Or was she just finally happy to have had the opportunity to work with him? She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she definitely felt glad to be there. With them.

19 part 2

2008-06-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

Chapter 19.2

Ji Won looked out of the rain beaten window before stepping out of the guest bedroom. When Shin's grandmother had suggested that they spend the night instead of driving back in the rain, she'd feebly protested. She still didn't know what it was but something about that house made her feel at ease and she didn't mind spending a bit more time over there. Besides, what was waiting for her at home, anyway?

Well, not that much at ease as she'd been sitting in the bedroom and staring at the wall for thirty minutes because she didn't want to join Shin's family in the living room. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but something about the way Shin's grandmother looked at her had begun to get to her. His grandma had this knowing look older women had when they were in on a secret and it had begun to creep her out. There was nothing more rattling than having a supposedly subliminal conversation with someone without having a clue what the other person was talking about.

Stuck in that room, Ji Won tried reading some of the magazines that had been put there but they were all at least a year old. It was clear they rarely had guests. Then she'd tried to fall asleep but for some reason, it had eluded her. She'd even thought of looking for Shin but what would they talk about? Sick of being bored, she got off the bed and decided to get herself a glass of water.

***

"Hey," Shin called as he saw Ji Won walk past the library. She'd disappeared after dinner and he'd been debating going up and talking to her. On one hand, he wanted to be a hospitable host and make sure she felt comfortable and enjoyed herself, but on the other hand, he didn't know if she'd prefer to have her privacy. After all, he'd tricked her into coming on the trip with him.

"Hey," Ji Won said, retracing her steps and popping her head into the room. "What are you doing here?"

He looked down at the box on the floor. "I figured that since I'm here, I might as well pack up some of my books."

"Yeah?" she said, walking into the room. It was a pretty small room filled with shelves stocked with books and two chairs. Because it was so cramped, from afar, one would expect the room to feel dusty and moldly but it really wasn't the bad. She bent over Shin's box and picked up a well-worn book from the top of the pile then looked it over. What the heck? She hid a smile and said, "I can't believe you have The Lone Tree!" She waved the book at him. "This book is what inspired me to get into publishing."

"Really?" Shin asked, perking up. The Lone Tree was one of his favorite books and even though he never mentioned it, had been a huge influence on his chosen career. Did it make any sense that he was pleased that they both loved the same book?

"Yes," she said, nodding. "The book is full of mistakes. Awful, awful, awful! I think there was an average of five mistakes a page. It's completely ridiculous!"

"What�?"

Ji Won paused to compose herself so as not to burst into laughter. The look of horror on Shin's face was beyond comedic. "This book is a disgrace to the literary world and should be given to every writer as a 'How Not To' guide. That's why you have it, right?"

Shin was still trying to digest what she was saying when she plopped into a chair and burst out laughing. "Oh my God, Shin, you should totally see your face right now," she said, laughing and pointing at him. "You looked like I'd just thrown up on your favorite toy! Ha ha ha, God I wish I had my phone on me," she said, hitting the sides of Shin's grandma's nightgown like she was feeling for it in the invisible pockets. "I want to take a photo. I WANT TO TAKE A PHOTO! I bet you thought you were the only person that could make stuff up, huh?" she said before another loud round of laughing. She'd even begun clapping at this point.

Shin shook his head and chuckled. It was the first time he'd really seen her figuratively let her hair down and relax, otherwise, he'd have wanted to throttle her for the stunt she'd just pulled. He'd never seen her look so cute.

"You should laugh more," he said, before he could stop himself.

"Yeah?" Ji Won said, suddenly sitting up straight and feeling awkward. It was amazing that that was all it took to get her back to her senses. She ironed out invisible creases in the nightgown and looked away from him.

Regretting his role in the sudden shift in atmosphere, Shin tried to do some damage control. "So what do you really think of The Lone Tree?"

She shrugged. "Nothing� considering I've never heard of it."

"Makes sense, considering it was a huge failure. I think it only sold about five hundred copies."

"But you love it anyway, right?"

He nodded. "I honestly can't remember where I first read it but it was one of those books that never left me so when I tried to find another copy, I learned that it was out of print. So I contacted the publisher who told me the books had been remaindered and that the author had bought them all. Then I contacted the author and he sold two copies to me for 1500 Won. It was the best 3000 Won I ever spent."

"Cool," Ji Won said, having nothing else to say. When writers got passionate about their work or other books, it was best to just let them ramble on till they tired out.

"Yes, it's one of those books that�," he continued. About two minutes later, when he finally realized that he was basically talking to himself, he picked up another book and held it out to her. "Here's another classic that nobody's read."

She took it from him, looked at the cover and smiled when she read the author's name. Since it wasn't part of his series, she figured that it must have been his very first book. "The Demon Pirate by Yoon Pil Suh," she said before looking up at him and laughing. "The Demon Pirate? I guess we don't need to look further than the title to figure out why nobody bought it."

"What?" Shin said before throwing another copy of his first book at her.

***

"Well, this is it," Ji Won said as Shin stopped the car in front of her building. She reached for the car door. "I still don't get how it would help with your writer's block but I hope it has."

Well, it obviously hadn't since he wasn't really experiencing any writer's block. Shin scratched his head and watched her step out of the car. What was the best way to 'fess up to his act? When he saw her opening the door to the backseat, he quickly turned around and put his hand on the case of wine she'd been gunning for. "Don't worry about it � I'll carry it for you," he said, looking at her through the window.

She protested but eventually let him carry it. They'd stopped at the store on their way back to her place and when she'd seen the wine on sale for half off, she couldn't resist buying it.

On the silent walk towards her building, Ji Won debated asking him in for a drink. Was it the right or wrong thing to do? They'd already spent so much time together so there wasn't any reason to spend any more but wasn't it polite to invite him in to share some of the wine since he'd so graciously carried it for her? As they approached the elevators, she decided to be polite and ask him.

Shin for his part, had also been trying to figure out the best time to come clean about the writer's block that her question had come as a shock to him. "Huh?" was all he could come up with.

Ji Won hit the 'Up' button. "Would you like to come in for a glass of wine?" she repeated.

A glass of...? A thought suddenly popped into his head. "But I don't have any condoms with me." He did his best to maintain a stern face.

"WHA-A-A-T?"

He looked away and tried to maintain his composure. It was payback time for her making fun of The Demon Pirate. He glanced at his watch. "Even though it's only noon and some people are at church right now, you obviously want to have sex. Am I right?"

No, you're crazy! The elevator came but she ignored it. She couldn't believe her ears. "Why in the world would you say that?"

"It's your M.O. Think back to Aruba. Every time you wanted to have sex, you invited me for a glass of wine."

Okay, so he was indeed crazy. "You know what?" Ji Won said, not even bothering to think back and confirm his allegations, "you're obviously insane." She grabbed the case of wine from his hands and elbowed him in his arm. Who did he think he was?

"Oh, one more thing," Shin said as she hit the 'up' button and the elevator doors parted. He nursed his sore arm and tried his best not to laugh.

"What?" she grunted, stepping into the elevator.

He pulled out a large yellow envelope from his bag and dropped it on the case in her hands. "That's the rest of my book."

She looked up at him in disbelief. "The rest...? You've finished it?"

"Yep," he said, nodding.

Then what was the bullsh.it about writer's block? But before Ji Won could vocalize her thoughts, the elevator doors shut.

***

Ji Won could not believe this guy. What the hell was his deal? He'd taken her on a trip for his deranged pleasure then had accused her of trying to seduce him. What the hell? And now, without any warning, just when she thought she'd have a quiet evening, she had a mountain of pages to edit. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, sat down on her couch then pulled out the manuscript from the envelope. There was a sticky note on the first page.

I'm glad we're working together again. Would it be wrong to say that I missed working with you? If so, please forgive me but I can't help but say that I really did miss working with you. I'm looking forward to our next meeting.

-- Shin

20

2008-06-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

Chapter 20

In the years after I moved in with my grandparents, I thought about my mother from time to time. As a child, I hadn’t really felt her absence much, as I’d found normalcy in my situation. Since I didn’t attend school or interact much with other children my age, I never really knew a lot about how other families were structured. Or what a traditional family was supposed to be.

But moving in with my grandparents, attending school and watching television opened my eyes to what the world viewed as ‘normal.’ It’s funny how a somewhat happy and fulfilled person can begin to miss things they never even had. Now looking back, I sometimes feel bad that even though my grandparents were trying their hardest to make me happy, I still longed for the type of family I could never have.

My biological father lived abroad and made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me. And as he was estranged from his parents, even though I lived with them, I rarely saw or heard from him. When I first moved in with my grandparents, I’d sneak around and look at old photos of him, trying to figure out what biological traits I’d inherited from him. And whenever I thought we had a similar nose or mouth, I was first elated, then stung by the obvious rejection. I did end up meeting him twice in my life and both times, he treated me like a stranger. But both times, I was surprised that I wasn’t as hurt as one would expect. Perhaps, somewhere in my heart, I always knew I’d never have a relationship with him.

Nonetheless, there were days I’d lie on my bed and daydream of a family composed of just three of us, living and loving together. However, that image was no where in my mind the day I saw my mother.

It had been years since I’d seen her and on that day, was on a date with my girlfriend, taking a stroll under the evening sun. We were holding hands, laughing and talking as we argued about what to have for dinner when I spotted her walking towards me from the other end of the sidewalk.

I’d also thought that I’d long forgotten what she looked like, and in fact, had failed many times to recall her face. But that day, there was no mistaking that the pleasantly plump woman walking hand in hand with what appeared to be an eight or nine year old boy was the woman who’d given me up.

Her face had softened with age but those lips and eyes were unmistakable and so like my grandma’s. Not to speak of nose that was just like mine. Even though her hair was a lot shorter, she still had that walk – that walk I saw whenever she'd turned around to leave me. It was definitely her - somehow the same and yet different. And the difference wasn't entirely from the looser skin and unexpected fullness of her face. No. As she walked and spoke to the boy, her eyes relayed an emotion I’d never seen there before.

It was a look I'd seen on my grandparent’s faces, one I’d seen on my grandmother’s face. Heck, I’d even seen it on my girlfriend’s face. But on my mother’s? Never. Not till the day I saw her looking at her little son.

Over the years, I’d found solace in believing that my mother just wasn’t a loving person. She could leave me because she wasn’t sentimental like that. She could get married and have another family without me because it just made more sense that way - it was the most practical thing. “She just wasn’t the type to love,” I’d made myself believe for several years. But as I watched her speak lovingly to that child, I knew I'd been wrong.

I watched her in dismay as I wondered why should couldn't love me.

I hadn’t realized that I’d stopped walking and was openly staring at her till my girlfriend tugged my arm and asked me if I was okay. I came back to my senses, looked at her and reassured her that I was.

When I resumed walking, I noticed my heart beating faster and faster as my mother and I got closer. "Why don't you love me too?" I wanted to scream but I couldn't because craving her love was something I'd never even admitted to myself, talk less of others. Besides, the emotions I was feeling on that day were far too overwhelming for me to work through so quickly.

I tried my best to act normal, laughing and pretending to listen to whatever my girlfriend was talking about but the whole time, all I could see was this stranger I suddenly hated, the one who'd abandoned me, walking towards us.

As we inched closer and closer, I began to wonder if she’d recognize me, and if she did what she’d say. Would she hug me and tell me she’d missed me? Would she ask me if I was doing alright? Would she ignore me and pretend not to know me? As we kept walking, I silently prayed that whatever it was, I'd be able to handle it.

As I kept walking, thinking of a hundred and one different scenarios she would speak to me, she walked by us without a visible flinch.

That was the last time I saw my mother.

***

“I’m just confirming that you’re coming over for dinner on Friday,” Ji Won’s mother said from the other end of the line.

“Umma, I already told you that I can’t make it,” Ji Won said as she pulled out the large envelope from her bag and put it on the table.

“Why not? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Umma, I don’t want you to fix me up with anyone.”

“Who said I’m fixing you up with anyone? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you and I just miss you.”

Yeah, right. They both knew there was more to it than that. “So is it just going to be me, you and Eun Hee?

Instead of a response, all she got from the phone was dead air, confirming what she knew.

“See what I mean?” Other than the fact that her mother kept mentioning supposedly successful sons of her random friends during their conversations, her sister had already told her that her mother had gone into high gear, trying to play matchmaker to her and her would-be son-in-law.

Ji Won quickly sat up straight when she saw Shin walking into the restaurant. He spoke to the hostess then looked around the room. It was show time. “Umma, I have a meeting so I have to hang up now.”

“Alright. See you on Friday.”

She sighed. “I won’t be there. Bye.”

Adrenaline pumping, Ji Won took a deep breath in and watched the hostess lead Shin to her table. What she was about to do had been a long time coming and she was already excited about what her life would be like once it was over with.

Shin smiled widely as he walked over and pulled out his chair. “I see you’re early.”

“Yeah,” she said before looking away. Okay, so the dumbass had a great smile but that didn’t mean he had the right to be all weird, odd and confusing. Not to speak of being a conman who made the most inappropriate and annoying jokes. And to think that she’d fallen for him at some point. But then again, she fell for the alter ego and not the real man. The guy she wrote to was cute, sweet and smart. She didn't even want to describe that guy who was smiling back at her. She sighed. Yes, it was time to let go.

“I was quite surprised by your call,” he said, sitting across from her.

She shrugged.

“You must have sped through the most recent draft – it’s not even a week yet, is it?” He gestured for the waitress to come over and take their orders.

She smiled as professionally as she could as she handed him the envelope. “The earlier, the better, right?”

He nodded, looking unsure of the situation. “Right.”

She inhaled then dove into the reason she’d made the call. “I think it’s in pretty good shape so all that’s left are the final edits.”

“Great,” Shin said, picking up the envelope and peeking into it. “It’ll take a few days to read through. But I must say, reading about my own life over and over is beginning to get rather tedious,” he joked. “How about we meet next Wednesday to begin the final phase?”

The waitress came over to get their orders but Ji Won informed her that she wouldn’t be staying long.

“Oh, you’re leaving soon?” he asked, placing the envelope in his bag. “Stay for dinner.” Now that the professional portion of the evening was over, there were some things he wanted to say.

“No,” she said firmly. “Well,” she said, sitting up straight, “I guess this is good bye.”

“Alright," he said, not hiding his disappointment, "I guess you’re busy. But is Wednesday okay?”

She shook her head. “I won’t be doing the final edits.”

“What? I thought it was already settled that you’re my one and only editor.” And other than that, he still had so many things to say to her. Like how he was so very sorry for what he’d said the last time they met. The stupid joke hadn’t gone down the way he had intended, and in the past week, as he recalled that night, he was baffled that at some point, he had thought there was a positive way it could go down. He’d been kicking himself for a week and needed her to not to be upset with him..

He ran his fingers through his hair and turned his face away to hide his embarrassment. “If this is about—”

“It’s best Ms. Kim does the final edits,” Ji Won interrupted. “It’ll be much better for your book and I’m sure most people would agree as she’s more experienced than I am.” She stood up then stretched out her hand. “It’s been nice working with you,” she said firmly.

Seeing the determination in her eyes, Shin knew that she wasn’t going to change her mind. This time, he’d really screwed up and she wasn’t going to give him another chance. Standing up, he reluctantly took her hand. Was this the end? “Likewise," was all he could say.

***

As Ji Won walked away, she slowly felt the weight lifting off her shoulders. She was done with him. DONE. As she remembered everything that had happened between them, from Aruba to that very moment, she concluded that her ex, Joon Young, was all to blame. If his selfish ass hadn’t left her at the altar, would she have been in that predicament? If she wasn’t so insecure about her ability to find a man who loved her, would she have fallen for an imaginary man she thought was in rehab of all places? Writing all those stupid notes at the end of each chapter and reading his over and over again like a love sick middle schooler. Imagining living in a field full of cup cakes, skipping around and singing love songs with him by her side. She’d truly lost her mind and was going to kick Joon Young’s ass the next time she saw him. But all in all, she was glad that that chapter of her life was finally over. And even though he’d been a big part of her life for a few months, it would be easy to move on. Right?

21

2008-06-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Chapter 21.
Holding her phone, Ji Won read the latest email sent by her current client. She was working on a popular blogger’s first relationship book. Most of the advice was common sense from an unconventional angle and she wondered if she’d have benefited from reading such a book many years earlier. Perhaps she would have known how to distinguish a bad relationship from a good one. Working on this book for the last week and a half had forced her to re-examine her relationships with men. Why was she bad at picking them? Was something wrong with her? Are there certain qualities that all bubble gums share? She’d wanted to seek some advice from her client but in all honesty, wasn’t sure he was that qualified. After all, he’d confessed that he hadn’t been in a long term relationship for over three years. So how in the hell was a single man, one who’d never been married, one who’d never been in a successful relationship, qualified as a relationship expert? It really didn’t make sense but his writing was creative and entertaining. Maybe that was all his fans cared about.

“Enjoy,” the Ajumma said, plopping the bowls of ramen in front of Ji Won and her friends.

“Thank you,” they said in unison.

Ji Won put her phone back in her bag and rejoined the conversation.

“So that’s the story of my life,” her friend, Na Mi said, picking up her chopsticks. “After searching for a job for 9 months, I finally find one. But here I am a week later, ready to throw in the towel. If someone had told me that I would be working with the devil himself, I would have declined their offer. ”

“As far as you understand that I’m no longer lending you any money, it’s all good with me,” their friend Kyung Ho said, shrugging.

“Shut the hell up. When did I ever ask you for money?”

Ji Won ate her ramen in amusement as she watched them fight. She glanced at another friend of theirs and they both rolled their eyes.

“So whenever we go out together and you don’t pay, what do you think I use to pay your share? Air?”

Na Mi scowled at him. “Did I ever ask you to do that?”

Their arguing was interrupted by a loud buzz from Ji Won’s phone.

“Ji Won ah, can you please make that a little louder?” Kyung Ho said sarcastically. “My left eardrum hasn’t burst yet.”

Ji Won ignored him and flipped open her phone. It was a text from Shin. Suddenly feeling uneasy, she wondered what he was contacting her for. Should she read it or not? Maybe she should just delete it without even reading it. Because surely, she’d made it clear that she wouldn’t be contacting him anymore. She dropped her phone back without reading the text. But a minute later, curiosity got the best of her and she read it.

Hi.
The hell? she thought to herself. It had been two weeks since she’d last seen him and he’d suddenly found the urge to hit her with a “Hi?” Why?

She closed her phone back then picked up her chopsticks. As she chewed on the suddenly tasteless ramen, wondering why in the world he felt he had the right to contact her, her phone buzzed again.

I said hi. Why didn’t you reply?

Okay, this guy was officially annoying. "Why didn’t she reply?" Couldn’t he figure that out on his own? And why was he so damn impatient? How could he even know that she’d seen the message anyway? As she was staring at the message, shaking her head in annoyance, another message came through.

Hi for the third time. And this time, instead of just staring at your phone, why don’t you use it and say hi back?

The hell? Instinctively, she turned her head and looked around the room. It didn’t take long for her to find him a few tables away, not looking at her and chatting away with a group of young men in suits. She sighed then quickly turned around and looked up at the ceiling. “Oh Lord, why are you doing this to me?” And why the hell didn’t she just go home for dinner?

**

Okay, so he knew he was being a bit childish but he couldn’t stop himself. Every single day for the past two weeks, he’d picked up his phone and found her number. And each time, he had to talk himself out of dialing it. Because she’d made it clear that she didn’t want to see him again and he knew that he should respect her wishes. But he just couldn’t get her out of his mind. Not that he’d tried that hard. The truth was, he kind of liked thinking about her. So everyday, he’d tried not to be an ass and not contacted her. But now that she was with a group of friends, eating and laughing like he was nothing but a distant memory, he inexplicably got annoyed and had to make contact.

He watched her look to the heavens and wondered if she was thanking God that he’d finally contacted her. He chuckled to himself because he knew that was definitely not the case.

He watched her put her phone back in her bag and just had to text her again.

I’m glad to see that you’re looking well.

“Yo, Shin, did you invite us to dinner just so that we could watch you text?”

He laughed and dropped his phone back on the table. “No. And who said I invited you? Is my name T.K?”

“Yes, yes, I was the one who sent out the invite,” the slightly built man sitting next to him said. “It’s not everyday I am in Seoul so I wanted to catch up with you guys. Is that okay with you?” Then he turned to Shin. “But Shin, tell me; who’s the girl you keep glancing at sitting over there?”

“What girl?” someone asked. All four men turned around to look in Ji Won’s direction.

“Please be more obvious,” he said dryly.

“Whatever you want, bro,” T.K. joked. “But who is she? And how did you screw this one up this time? I’m not sure she’s your usual type but she’s fine. Isn’t she?”

They all nodded and voiced their approval.

Ignoring them, Shin watched Ji Won read his text and frowned as she didn’t respond yet again. He picked up his phone again and typed.

I’m fine too. I’m just having dinner with some old friends.

He shook his head in disgust as he hit the send button. Oh gosh, he asked himself, why am I doing this? Am I five years old? She clearly doesn't want to talk to you so why can't you stop?

“So come on, tell us,” another friend said. “How did you screw it up?”

He looked up from his phone. “Who told you I screwed it up?”

“Hmm… let me see. Maybe the fact that you’re texting her instead of just going over there.”

“Or that you can’t keep your eyes off her.”

“Or that she hasn’t even replied to any of your texts. That should be a hint,” another said, before bursting into laughter.

They all laughed and even Shin couldn’t help but join them. It was a rather pathetic scene, wasn’t it?

“Just mind your business,” he said before taking a sip of his soju. As his friends kept yapping away, teasing him on his bad luck with women, he picked up his phone and typed out another text.

What are you doing these days? Editing is going okay but it’s not the same without you.

He re-read what he’d written then deleted the last two words. Wasn’t that being a bit too forward? Thinking it through again, he added them back. But why beat about the bush? I might as well go all the way, he rationalized to himself as he stretched out his finger to hit send. Or maybe not, he thought again before finally deciding to leave out those two words before sending the message. He didn’t want to annoy her any more than he already had.

Still pretending to listen to his friends, Shin watched as he waited for her to read his latest message. But when her phone buzzed, one of her friends grabbed it and tried to keep it away from her. Then Ji Won playfully struggled to retrieve it from him.

Okay, Shin thought to himself. Is it wrong that I don’t like seeing her so happy with another man? And what was he to her, anyway? He picked up his phone and sent another text.

I’m glad you’re reading my texts.

Shin hung his head in shame as he wondered what the hell he was doing. He looked up at the moment she turned around to look back at him. He was startled at first to be looking directly into her eyes, but when he tried to read them, he failed miserably. What was she thinking? And did she hate him even more now? She looked away, however, less than a minute later, Shin held his breath as he watched as she picked up her phone and began to type on it.

**

22

2008-06-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

Chapter 22.
“Seriously, who’s texting you like crazy?” Hyung Ho asked.

Ji Won held her phone up to his face so that he could read the latest text.

I’ve sent you the next four chapters. We should probably meet as soon as possible. When and where would be best for you?
Kyung Ho read it then shook his head. “Oh, it’s your favorite Stalkewriter.”

“Surely, you’re allowed to have dinner or are you on call twenty four hours a day?” their other friend asked. “I don’t even know how you put up with it,”

“When you have to pay bills, you put up with everything.”

Kyung Ho crooked his head at their friend. “Did you hear that, Na Mi?”

“Go suck a lemon, Ho.”

Ji Won laughed at their exchange as usual and just as she was about to hit the reply button, another text came through.

I’m glad you’re reading my texts.

Stop texting me for chrissakes! Ji Won thought, frowning, as she quickly spun her head around and caught Shin’s eye. She wasn’t in the mood for his nonsense especially as right after dinner, she’d have to go back home and read several chapters about what women should do to keep a man. And the worst part was the writer was very much into routine so even though he acted like he was flexible, he only ever wanted to meet the day after turning his draft, at the same time at the same place.

She hit the reply button and typed:

We can meet tomorrow at 10am on the ground floor of the public library near my office.

Less than a minute later, a text came through.

Why don’t we meet tomorrow at 10am at the library near your office?

Ji Won rolled her eyes. Didn’t she just write that?

A minute after confirming her plans with the writer, another text from Shin came through.

O.K.

Okay to what? That he’d finally gotten the message and was no longer going to bother her? And twenty minutes later, when she and her friends were paying the bill, she was glad that her phone had been silent the whole time. Score? No more Shin?

***

We can meet tomorrow at 10am on the ground floor of the public library near my office.
Shin re-read that message a hundred times and couldn’t figure out why she’d sent it. All he’d really wanted was for her to text him back so that he could know that there were no heard feelings. But now she wanted to meet…?

Did she want to give him a stern warning and ask that he never contact her again? He wasn’t insane nor a stalker and he vowed that if she even as much as hinted that she’d wanted him to lose her number, he’d bow out gracefully. Not that it would be easy, but it would only be fair. And gentlemanly.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he wondered if he should make a quick stop at his favorite barber’s for a quick touch up then slapped his head in frustration.

“Get your act together! You’re a man, for goodness sake!” he yelled at his reflection.

Why he was fretting so much? She was only a woman. A wonderful, beautiful woman he had regrets about but still just a woman. So no big deal. He can just move on. Heck, he should have just moved on and never sent the first text. Why didn’t he just cut his losses? Why did he have to contact her? What did she want to say to him? Would she give him a chance to apologize? Would it make a difference? Was she going to threaten him with a restraining order? Glancing at the clock he kept in the cabinet, he wondered what was in store for him in exactly two hours.

About an hour later, as he was getting ready to leave his apartment, his phone rang.

“Gosh, she’s calling to cancel,” he said aloud, then slapped himself. “Be a damn man, you fool!” he said before clearing his throat to put on his baritone.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he glanced at the caller id then sighed.

“Harboji, good morning. Why are you calling so early? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is fine. When next can you come over?”

“Huh? Harboji, didn’t I just come over to visit?” he glanced at his reflection one last time. He was looking as good as he ever could.

“Yes, but I want to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“I’ll tell you when you come by.”

He picked up his comb and ran it through his hair one last time then took another glance at his reflection. “Why can’t you tell me now? Am I not using the same ears to listen to you now?”

“Let’s talk in person.”

He sighed. Then froze for a second. Was something wrong? “Is Halmoni sick? Are you sick?”

“No. It’s nothing like that.”

He exhaled then picked up his lint brush for one last touch up. “Then what? I’m really busy, if you have something to say, just say it now.”

“We should do this in person, my son.”

Whatever. “Okay. I have to go now, Harboji.”

***

Ji Won found the usual table and plopped her laptop on it. She usually arrived about thirty minutes early to secure the table and mentally prepare for this particular client. Other than his sketchy qualifications as a relationship expert, Mr. Lee had a way of challenging every single thing she suggested. She was certain that if it wasn’t required that he work with an editor, he would have self edited – which would have been disastrous based on his drafts. He was funny but needed to be reminded that Spell Check wasn’t his enemy.

“I see you came in early as well,” he heard a voice say from behind her.

Recognizing it, she spun her head around in shock. What was he doing here?

“I must admit that I was surprised that you wanted to meet,” Shin said, walking over and standing in front of her.

She looked up at his smiling face, still confused. “Me?" she asked, point to herself. "I wanted to meet you?”

He nodded, registering the look on her face. “That’s what your text said." He reached for his phone, realizing that he’d need to show proof.

“I didn’t text you.”

He found it and showed it to her. “Then what is this?”

What was going on? She quickly pulled out her phone, searched her outbox and in a few seconds, found the incriminating evidence. She looked up at him in embarrassment.

Registering this look, he pulled out a chair and sat across from her. So clearly, there’d been a miscommunication but that didn’t mean he should turn around and leave. Why not make use of this opportunity? Especially with her looking so pretty. Did she dress up this much when they met?

Ji Won took a deep breath in and decided to go on the offensive. “You texted me so many times that I must have accidently hit the send button. I’m actually meeting with a client of mine in about…,” she paused to look at her watch, “… twenty minutes. I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. That text wasn’t meant for you.”

“I see.”

“I really am sorry, but…,” she said, looking at the door way, hoping that the hanging word would hint that he needed to leave. But since he didn’t budge and instead, kept staring at her with some weird look on his face, she had to be direct. “I need to prepare for my client so…”

“So, you’d like me to leave.”

She nodded. “That would make the most sense.” She looked away. He was clearly trying his best to disarm her with his smile but it wasn’t going to work.

“So you just want me to walk away after postponing another appointment to be here?”

She shrugged. What did he want from her? “I already apologized.”

“But how are you going to take responsibility for this?” he asked with a very serious look.

She frowned at him. “What?”

“I have an hour to kill and it’s all your fault,” he said. Sighing and making a big show of it.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll have dinner with me.”

Her mouth flung open then she chuckled. Was he for real? “This is not a movie so don’t even think about that.”

“Hey, it was worth a shot." He laughed. “Well,” he said, standing up, “I know how seriously you take your work so I shouldn’t take up any more of your time. But I might as well kill the time here. Maybe there’s a magazine I can read. Is that okay with you?”

“Suit yourself,” Ji Won said, grateful for the end of the conversation.

At 10 o’clock on the dot, her client walked in. She didn’t even need to turn around to know that Shin would be watching them from a few tables away but it didn’t matter. It was time to work, which meant her old client would be long forgotten.

***

That client of yours… He’s a bit of a jerk, isn’t he?

“You don’t say,” Ji Won whispered as she read the text. “Should I or should I not respond?” she asked herself. Well, what the heck. It was not like she had anything better to do as she waited for her order to arrive. Maybe if she replied once and for all, he’d back the hell off.

Well, he’s just like my last client.

Touché. Is his book interesting?

You can buy it in six months.

What’s it called?

Okay, wasn’t she being clear enough? Perhaps she needed to be more direct.

You’re bugging me.

It’s lunch time.

She laughed. How random.

So?

Let’s eat.

I’m already eating. Well, not technically. But she would be in a few minutes.

With him?

No.

You should have told me before you left for lunch so that we could have met up.

In his dreams.

I think you’re drunk.

lol. No I’m not. It’s not even 2pm yet. I’m just mad I missed that opportunity.

Which opportunity? You’re delusional.

You’re working with him the whole day?

How is it your business?

I can come and pick you up for dinner.

Ji Won laughed again. Was he for real?

I don’t want to eat with you.

My book is coming along well.

Good.

“Thank you,” she told the waitress before digging into her food.

But it’s not the same.

…

You’re responding to my texts.

You want me to stop?

Did your client stop being a jerk after I left?

What’s a jerk?

You just said someone like me.

No, he’s different – much nicer than you.

When did you become so mean?

It was from spending time with you.

“You” as in “you?”

Ji Won smiled. Oh, was he trying to be smart with her.

No. “You” as in “you”

lol. I knew you didn’t mean me but you.

Are you trying to be funny?

How can I try to be something I already am? So that new guy… he doesn’t know who’s boss – he keeps arguing with you. Do you want me to come over and tape his mouth shut?

She giggled.

Yes!

When should I came over?

After lunch.

Are you serious?

Of course. Bring really strong tape.

??
An impish smile covered Ji Won’s face.

Oh, you don’t get it? If you tape his mouth shut, you’ll get an assault charge. Which would land you in jail, and keep you from texting me.

She laughed at her little joke and waited for a reply but got nothing. About five minutes later, as she chewed the beef that for some reason no longer tasted as good, she wondered if she’d gone too far. But that was okay, right? The point was to get rid of him. But why did she feel bad? UGH! Why couldn’t she help the way she felt. She was supposed to feel good about this! But as she sat there waiting for his text, she reflected on everything that had happened and concluded that he wasn’t the devil, after all. So maybe he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Maybe she should apologize.

I was only joking.

I really was only joking

With the way you joke, I didn’t think you’d be this sensitive.

It was only a little joke.

Shin smiled as he read the last series of texts. He hadn’t immediately replied to her last text because he’d received a call from his agent. But after reading those messages, he decided to let her squirm a little. He laughed to himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, it was a good thing to contact her after all.

23

2008-05-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

Chapter 23

“Funny seeing you here,” Ji Won heard a voice say from behind her.

She frowned before she’d even turned her head around to look at him. “Oh, so you’re alive?” She drank his image in. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes. She rolled her eyes. Was he going to a funeral?

From the tone of her voice, and the memory of her last text messages, he was sure that on some level, she’d been worried about him. He smiled to himself. Yes, it had worked! While he’d forced himself to stop texting her, it was the third day in a row he’d shown up at the library at 9am to catch her. And he’d breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her walking in a few minutes earlier with her huge bag. He raised his right eyebrow and asked if someone had informed her of his death.

She shrugged and found herself unable to catch his eye. It just irked the hell out of her that his silence had bothered her for three whole days. Pourquoi? “What was I to think when I made a tiny little joke and you started crying?”

He laughed as he pulled out a chair and sat. “I cried? Did you see my tears?”

“Would I need to see them to hear the sobs? Who knew you were so sensitive?”

“Why won’t I be sensitive?” He said, making a big show by touching his chest. “I have feelings too, you know? Do you even understand that magnitude of your words?”

Ji Won frowned. What was he doing? “Say what?"

He sighed dramatically then looked away. “That joke about an assault charge…. Do you know how many bad memories it brought up?”

“No. And I don’t want to know.”

“Well, I think you should,” he said as his clamped his hands together and looked up pensively. “One sad day - oh and I remember that day because it was the day I found out a friend of mine was dying of stomach cancer – turned out to be appendicitis so it’s all good. I think you met him at the party. He’s all healed now.”

“Huh?” Ji Won didn’t even bother to hide her smirk.

“Anyway, so that day, I was just walking down the street, you know, enjoying the breeze, listening to my Walkman – you know back in the days we had Walkmen or is it Walkmans?”

“Walkmans.”

“Oh, of course you’d know Miss Editor.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is there a point to this story?”

“So anyway, I was just minding my business walking and listening to music when I came across this couple fighting. I planned on pretending not to see them but he started hitting her and you know I just can’t see a woman in pain.”

“Since when?”

He ignored the comment. “So I intervened. I punched him and someone called the cops. Long story short, the stupid couple accused me of assaulting them. We went to court but luckily, the truth prevailed because my palm print didn’t fit the one on her face.”

“Wow… CSI," she said sarcastically.

He shrugged. “So now you know.”

“Yes, now I know even more then ever that for a novelist, you have a horrible imagination. Even a four year old can tell that story is fake.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I told you I am sensitive. You have to know it’ll be too painful to reveal the true story.”

She scoffed. “Whatever.” She looked at him pointedly. “What are you even doing here?”

“It’s a library - I came to borrow a book.”

“Oh really? In all the times I’ve been here, I’ve never seen you but suddenly you feel the need to borrow books at 9:30 am in the morning?”

“As you saying I came to see you?”

She shrugged. “If that’s what you heard…”

“The library is open at this time. Why can’t I be here?”

“Whatever.”

Shin studied her. She was wearing a very simple blouse and skirt but yet looked so beautiful. Their entire exchange reminded him of how they first were when they met him Seoul… when he first fell for her.

He averted his eyes and pretended to brush something off his shirt. He didn’t want them to betray his emotions. “Anyway, are you hungry?”

Ji Won watched him closely. There was something about his demeanor what was so… dare she say… attractive? Then she remembered she hated him and replied, “Why do you want to know?”

“I brought some breakfast,” he said matter-of-factly.

As he reached into his bag to bring it out, Ji Won said, “I already ate.”

“That sucks,” he said, not bothering to hide his disappointment. “Next time, don’t eat so we can have breakfast together.”

She scoffed and looked away. “I don’t think so.”

“What about lunch?”

She sighed. “What about it?”

“Let’s eat together.”

Why was he so relentless? “Don’t you have some other friends? Aren’t you busy with your editor?”

He sat up straight. “Yes or no?”

“No. I am having lunch with my mother and no, you can’t join us,” she said with a small smile.

He chuckled. At least she told him her plans. That must mean something.

Noticing that she’s begun to get fidgety, Shin knew it was time to leave. “Anyway,” he said, looking at his watch, “I know you’re about to make a big deal about needing to prepare for your client so I’ll leave now." He stood up.

Ji Won raised her eyebrow. He was leaving so quickly? “Such a short visit? What exactly did you come for?”

“I already told you – to borrow a book.”

She narrowed her eyes and studied his face. “What exactly is your deal?”

He shrugged. “No deal. I just like reading books,” he said looking away before turning around.

As he walked out of the library, Shin turned his phone back on and saw that his grandfather had left him a message. Why exactly did the old man need him to visit?

***

When Ji Won walked into the restaurant and saw her mother looking rather spiffy in a purple dress and talking to a suit-clad gentleman sitting beside her, she knew she had been set up.

“Umma, I will make you pay for this,” she muttered through gritted teeth. Why did parents always need to have their way?

When her mother spotted her, she gave her a sheepish look then waved her to the table.

Ji Won quickly glanced at her reflection in one of the windows then walked as confidently as she could to the table. Even though she wanted to yell at her mother, she knew she had to be respectful in front of this stranger.

Both the man and her mother stood up as she approached them and once she was at the table, her mother turned to the man and said, “Min Sik ssi, please meet my daughter.”

Ji Won sized him up. About 5’11. Clean face. Thick brows. Expensive haircut. Designer frames. Designer shoes. Designer suit. Probably hiding a six-pack.

“Hello, Ji Won ssi, it’s nice to meet you. You’re even lovelier than your mother described.”

Deep voice. Pretty teeth. Pretty lips. Knows how to compliment.

She shook his hand and sat next to her mother. Okay, so her mother didn’t do too badly this time around. She caught her mother’s eye and could tell that she was also very proud of her accomplishment. Ji Won groaned. Looking at the fine man grinning at her, she wished she’d met him in some other way. Parents setting you up was almost always a recipe for disaster and if by some fluke, they actually set you up with a nice man, they’d gloat about it forever. For the rest of her life, she’d have to hear things like:

“If I hadn’t intervened, would you have met him?”
“Can you see why you should always listen to me?”
“Mother knows best.”

It was almost never worth it. Even though Ji Won had practically closed her heart to the prospect of finding a good man again, as she looked across the table at the fine specimen of man sitting there, his broad shoulders moving as he laughed at her mother’s corny jokes, she wondered if perhaps she’d been too haste in her decision. Maybe she could find a great man after all. The single life was great but two is better than one, right?

***

Twenty minutes later, her mother was gone and as she chewed her food, she tried her best to act interested in his discussion about subprime loans.

“The truth is the opportunities are endless. Let me tell you why.”

“Please do,” Ji Won said dryly before turning her face away and rolling her eyes. Of course there had to be something wrong with him. In what world did a man think that a woman who isn’t in finance would want to learn about subprime loans on a first date? She glanced at her watch and found herself missing Mr. Lee. At least, when he argued with her, it wasn’t about securities.

Looking again at this waste of a beautiful body, Ji Won was in the process of coming up with an excuse to cut their lunch date short when her phone buzzed.

Excusing herself, she looked at it and smirked. It was a text from Shin. Did this guy even have a life?

How’s lunch with Mom?

She apologized to Min Sik again before typing out a response.

Don’t text me – I’m on a date. Okay, so why did she enjoy typing that out so much?

She put her phone down and smiled wearily at Min Sik. “I'm sorry about that. You were saying?”

The moment he opened his mouth to start talking, her phone buzzed again.

Really? I thought you said you were having lunch with your mother.

She looked up at Min Sik apologetically then typed.

That's what I said.

So you lied.

Ji Won knew she was being rude so she excused herself and went to the restroom. She planned to reply, make it short and sweet and return to learning more and more about RMBS or whatever the hell today's lesson was about.

As soon as she found a comfortable, clean stall, she typed:

No, I didn’t lie. I'm really on a date so I'm going to have to let you go. My mom set me up with a handsome man. Tall, handsome and rich. Every woman’s fantasy.

I’m also tall and handsome and I am not broke.

Who told you that you’re handsome?

Ouch. Did you forget that I'm sensitive?

LOL

Do you like that guy?

Well, unlike someone I know, he told me his real name.

So did I, Alex.

Ji Won frowned. Why did he have to remind her to that? All she could type was, Whatever.

So do you like him?

I don’t know – we just met.

Oh, so you don’t like him.

Who said that?

I just know it. That means I still have a chance.

A chance to do what?

Take you to dinner.

LOL. You only think about food.

What else is there to think about? So what about dinner?

What about it?

Have it with me.

Why?

It's a free meal. Why are you being so difficult?

Difficult how? Why would I need a free meal? I can afford to feed myself. You're going to have to come up with another reason.

You get a free meal from me.

I said, “another reason.”

You get to hang out with me.

In that case, the answer is no.

Why?

I’ve already seen your face once today. That’s already one time too many.

Ouch again. Have you forgotten that I’m sensitive?

Stop it! That joke was old two jokes ago.

She laughed. Then abruptly stopped as she realized she was enjoying herself.

“Hold up,” she said to herself. “I don’t like this fool, right? Why do I suddenly feel like I did when I was writing to Yoon Pil Suh?” She knocked her head to put some sense in it. “Na Ji Won! You can’t fall for him again! WAKE UP! He’s not the adorable man you thought he was – he’s a master manipulator. Don't fall for his words! No more text messages from him!” And with that, she turned her phone off. Na Ji Won, why are you like this? A few words here and there and you start to become stupid? She sat in the stall for a few minutes as she tried to figure it out.

It wasn’t till someone knocked at the toilet stall door that she remembered where she was. Oh sh.it, she was on a date with a fine man. A fine man who was miles better than Shin/Yoon Pil Suh or whatever he wanted to call himself. Someone who didn't tell offensive jokes or make weird stories up. A normal, kind man who had a sensible job.

She got out of the stall, checked out her reflection and walked back into the restaurant. However, when she got to her table, Min Sik was gone.

24

2008-05-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

Chapter 24.

Ji Won and Shin exchanged text messages daily for over a week. Ji Won didn’t even know how she fell into the pattern of meeting him before her 10 o’clock appointment on the days she was the library and then texting him from time to time throughout the rest of the day. And on the days she wasn’t at the library, he would still text her in the morning.

They’d start off talking about how their day was going till they began having full blown conversations on a full range of topics. Even though Ji Won told herself that she was just killing time, she didn’t mind listening to him speak about the finishing touches on his book or his theories about life on other planets.

By that time, it was clear that their meetings at the library were not coincidental but somehow, Ji Won was okay it. In fact, it had reached the point that she’d mentioned her impending appointments just to keep him informed.

Ji Won went through the messages on her outbox and found it.

So, I’ll be meeting Mr. Lee tomorrow. We’ve only got a few more chapters left to work on and I just can’t wait for it to be over.

She looked at her watch and read the most important part of the message again.

So, I’ll be meeting Mr. Lee tomorrow.

Okay, so she’d plainly stated in bold letters that she’d be at the library so why wasn’t he there? Their routine had been for her to walk to her table at her usual time and find him sitting a few feet away with breakfast in his hands. She’d make a big show of not wanting him to be there but they’d step out and sit on a bench eating bagels and drinking coffee. So how come it was 9:47am and he still hadn’t shown up?

What was that about? Was it some kind of game he was playing? Did he suddenly find something better to do?

She looked at her phone.

“Should I text him?” she asked herself then sighed in resignation. If she texted him, what would she say? Hey, I was just wondering why your dumb ass hasn’t shown up for our unofficial dates?

Dates? Oh Lord. Did she just call them dates? What was wrong with her?

***

Shin looked at his watch – it was 8:55. Even though he was running a little late, he still had enough time to get their breakfast before getting to the library.

What could he say? He’d enjoyed the last few days quite a bit. Ji Won was back to her old self – a spunkier version of who’d she’d been in Aruba and even though he didn’t want to hope, he couldn’t help himself. He still tried to ask her out formally but she always refused but from what he could see, she didn’t mind hanging out with him – which was great Even though she was still somewhat antagonistic towards him, he could see that she’d softened up quite a bit and he was enjoying it.

He was reaching for his glass to take one last swig of water when his phone rang. He looked at the caller id and just as he expected, it was his grandfather.

“Haraboji, I’m on my way out,” he said the moment he took the call.

“You’re not coming home anytime soon, are you?”

“I already told you that I can’t make it. You really should just say whatever it is you want to tell me.”

Shin had already begun to get impatient. His grandfather was practically stalking him on the phone and each time, instead of just telling him whatever was so important, he would ask him to make the long drive home.

He heard his grandfather sigh at the other end of the line.

“Son, are you sitting down?”

“Sure,” he lied. He picked up his glass and walked over to the sink to empty out its contents.

After a long pause, he simply said, “It’s your mother.”

The last word stopped him in his tracks. Shin suddenly felt all his energy dissipate from his body that he had to lean against the wall to keep from falling.

“My mother?” he whispered.

***

“You know Shin, don’t you?”

Ji Won turned around to see a petite woman smiling at her.

She had just ended her meeting with Mr. Lee and was in line to get a cup of coffee before heading back to the office. Normally, that was the beginning of a relaxing few hours but the thing was, she still hadn’t heard from Shin and was somewhat worried.

“Do I know you?” she asked the strikingly pretty woman.

“You don’t remember me? You were with Shin…?”

Ji Won shook her head. She still couldn’t recall meaning this woman.

“We met at the museum. At the Schmidt opening,” she offered. “They’d just released the Berlin painting,” she began, going into great detail about the piece. “Wasn’t it amazing?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know much about art but I’m sure it was great.” Ji Won smiled at the lady but there was something about her that she instantly disliked.

“Oh, interesting. I guess Shin’s taste has changed.”

Ji Won ignored the implication of that statement and decided to end the conversation. She turned back around, hoping the woman would take the hint but she just absolutely refused and inquired after Shin..

She shrugged/. “He’s fine, I guess.”

“Oh, you broke up?”

Ji Won turned around again. “We were never in a relationship. I was his editor.”

The woman mouthed an “O” and nodded. “I see. Interesting. Okay, so do you know if he’s seeing anyone now?”

Ji Won shrugged again. How the hell was she supposed to know and what was this woman’s deal. “ I have no idea.”

The woman smiled to herself. “Very interesting. Perhaps I should give him a call and catch up on old times,” she muttered right before Ji Won turned around to place her order.

As Ji Won watched her coffee being made, she couldn’t help but wish that Shin had changed his number.

***

Ji Won opened the door and saw Shin at other side, holding a bottle of wine.

“Thirsty?” he asked, holding up the bottle.

“Not particularly,” she replied even though she stepped aside to let him in. She discreetly looked him over and everything seemed to be in working order. He didn’t have any fresh wounds or look like he’d been abducted by aliens. So where had he been?

He walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. “Did you miss me this morning?”

“No. It was great to finally have the morning to myself.”

He set the bottle on the table. “I didn’t know what to get but I know you like red wine. It took me about two hours to choose it. It’s quite exquisite. It’s from Bordeaux and even if you don’t want to drink it now, you can save it for a special occasion.”

“I see.”

“I’m just saying that it’s a great bottle of wine and if you want to impress someone, someone like me, for example, you can whip it out.” He made an exaggerated show of looking at the bottle. “Look at how impressed I am.”

She frowned at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

He looked at her and smiled. “Excuse me?” The truth was his mind was still very much preoccupied by the call he’d had that morning and he’d planned on just staying home all day till he had the sudden urge to be with her. That was when he picked out the first bottle of wine he found in his cellar and drove over to her place. He needed someone to talk to and for some reason, felt it must be her.

Ji Won sat across from him and folded her arms. “You should always be the way you are when you write to me. In those simple texts or the notes you attached to your manuscript – that person is much more personable than the one you sometimes present in person.”

“How so?”

“Stripped down. Honest. No false airs. Confident. No fake ass stories.”

“I’m an author, I tell stories.” He frowned. This wasn’t what he came over for.

“Then save them for your books.”

He sat up and looked her straight in the eye. “What if I have one more story to tell?”

She smirked and rolled her eyes. “Did you hear what I just said? I said save them for your books.”

“So you don’t want to hear it?”

There was something in his tone that made her snap to attention. Something that she hadn’t heard in the past few days. Was something wrong? “What do you want to tell me?” she asked softly.

He put on a clearly fake smile and looked directly into her eyes. “So once upon a time, there was this man who got a call from his grandfather. Apparently, the woman who’d given birth to him and abandoned him without a word for twenty years would like to meet him. He doesn’t know why but other than needing a bone marrow transplant or perhaps a kidney, he can’t for the life of him figure out why she would want to meet someone she obviously loathed. So he obviously told her to fu.ck herself. So what do you think of this story? Should I save it for my book?” He’d tried to keep his voice steady but had failed miserably.

“Your mother would like to meet you?” she whispered. She felt a knot form in her tummy. His mother was back?

“’Mother’ seems like a strong word to you, don’t you think? Egg donor? Human vessel sounds more appropriate.”

She looked at him struggling to act indifferent and all she could see was that lonely little boy who’d spend his childhood with his grandmother. “Are you going to meet her?”

He smirked. “Would you?”

She took a deep breath in. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like to feel like you do.”

He nodded. “Exactly.” He wanted to yell at someone. How dare she contact him now, after all those years?

“But….”

“But…?”

“But why not just find out what she wants?” Ji Won felt so bad looking at him – he was clearly upset.

“I don’t care about what she wants. She’s never cared about me. Why should I care now after twenty years?”

“But is it really about caring? When I read your chapters about her, I could tell that there was so much unfinished business about her… that you had so many unanswered questions. Instead of making assumptions, why not meet her? Maybe you can finally get those answers.”

He scowled. “Like she won’t lie. She’s not going to tell me she abandoned me because I was the biggest mistake of her life.”

Ji Won felt the sting from his last statement. “Yes, she’s going to lie. So maybe you can think of it as an opportunity to get everything you want off your chest.”

He barely moved as he sat quietly for a few moments.

Not knowing what to do, Ji Won picked up the bottle of wine and headed for the kitchen.

“So do you want something else to do on July 14th?” he yelled a few minutes later from the living room.

She walked back in and began to arrange the magazines on the rack. “July 14th…? Something else?” She thought about it for a moment. “Oh, you saw the invitation?” The wedding invitation she’d left near her phone.

“It said Joon Young. That’s your ex’s name, isn’t it?” A name he couldn’t forget.

“Yes, it said Joon Young.” And seeing that name on a wedding invitation hadn’t bothered her at all. She deduced that she really must be over it all.

“And he invited you to his wedding? What a jerk.” He wasn’t a violent person but if he ran into that man, he would be sure to break his nose.

She laughed. “Men are jerks.”

“So are women as exemplified by the woman who carried me for nine months.”

Ji Won stopped what she was doing and studied his face. ”I didn’t know you were this mad at her.”

He looked away, suddenly feeling shy. “Me neither. It was somehow easier to forget that she existed or think that she forgot that I existed. This mess means that she’s been very well aware of my existence the whole time.”

After a few moments of silence, Ji Won said, “I wonder how many times a person can use the word “exist” in a sentence.” She wanted to lighten the mood a bit.

“Is this the best time to make a joke?”

“I’m sorry.”

He laughed. “I was only teasing. So what say you? Will you join me on July 14th to meet that person?”

She thought about it. “Why should I come?”

“You’re the one who talked me into it. So for moral support.”

“Moral support? I guess I can’t say no, huh?”

“I guess you can’t.” Satisfied, he decided to change the topic. “So what’s for dinner?”

Looking at him as he struggled to maintain a nonchalant attitude, she just couldn’t shake off the image of that little boy being left at a stranger’s house. And that made her want to take care of him. She decided not to say anything sarcastic. “Take out? Let me go and get the menus. Which would you prefer? Turkish or Italian?”

25

2008-05-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

Chapter 25

Shin was applying the aftershave to his face when he heard his phone beep. He walked over to his desk and picked it up.

Don’t bother coming today.

He frowned. Was Ji Won playing games again? Slowly, they’d somehow developed some kind of relationship. There were no labels or even any discussions about it but through her actions, she’d made it clear that she didn’t mind hanging around him. Which was all good and all but what exactly were they?

Who said I was coming? he texted back. That sounded flirtatious, right? Now that she’d given him a second chance, he didn’t want to mess things up by being pushy. But on the other hand, they’d spent a lot of time in the last month together and hadn’t even shared anything as much as a proper hug, talk less of a kiss. And the longer there was no form of physical intimacy between them, the closer he felt he was being pushed into the friend zone. And that was one thing he didn’t want.

Forget it then.

He sat on his bed and continued to text. What?

After five minutes of no response, he sent her another text. What should I forget?

Forget my first message. If you weren’t going to come anyway then forget it.

He shook his head. This woman always wanted to win and get the last word in, didn't she? He chuckled when he admitted to himself that he liked giving her the upper hand. Okay, I was going to come. What shouldn’t I forget?

This is going nowhere. Let’s end it here. I have to get ready for work. I’ll talk to you whenever.

Want to meet for lunch?

Sure.

***

“Mr. Lee canceled again?”

Ji Won nodded. The closer they got to the end, the more often Mr. Lee seemed to have family emergencies. She didn’t know what his issue was but there was still enough time to meet their deadline so she wasn’t worried yet. “Well, I guess I should be grateful that he at least gave me a warning this time so that I wouldn’t have to waste my time going to the library.”

“So you went straight to the office?”

She nodded. “Yep. Looks like they’ve just signed a new author and they want me to be his editor. They sent me his manuscript. I’ve read the first few chapters and it looks pretty interesting.”

The waitress interrupted them to get their drink orders. When she was gone, Shin said, “What genre?”

“Fantasy teen romance. They are hoping to get a series out of it.”

He frowned. He didn't like the sound of that. “I thought that market was already saturated.”

“It is. It’s about this girl who was raised by vampires and thinks she’s one but the truth is she’s been adopted and is merely human. So the first book is all about how she lives life as a vampire and has all this angst about not being able to be with the cute guy at school because he’s a mere mortal and all that stuff. It’s kind of funny,” she said, chuckling. “It can either be my big break or a complete dud.”

The chances of a new author's success in this genre were very low but he hoped the best for her. He smiled then raised his left eyebrow. “Your big break? I thought working with me was your big break.”

She made a face to say, “As if.”

“Speaking of which." He placed an envelope in front of her. “Here’s the final draft of my book. It’s been copy edited and is at the printers right now. The cover you chose didn’t make it though.”

“As expected. You just wasted my time.”

“And there’s nothing about you in it so don’t get too excited.”

She giggled. “Whatever. I’m hungry. Hand me the menu. What's today's special?”

***

Ji Won watched as he cut into his steak. Okay, so she shouldn’t spend her time thinking about this and she didn’t know the best way to broach the topic that had been on her mind for a few days. “Have you received any unexpected calls recently?”

“Like from whom?” he asked with his mouth full.

She shrugged and tried to look as casual as possible. “I don’t know, a blast from the past, perhaps?” The girl that she was almost sure was an important ex-girlfriend?

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Someone you weren’t expecting to hear from? Or maybe someone you haven’t spoken to recently?”

Ji Won was giving him a piercing look like he should know who she was talking about without her having to mention her. He racked his brain and could only think of one person. “You mean my mother? I’m okay.” He laughed. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells to ask me about that woman. You’re funny. I haven’t spoken to her yet. Why would I? I use my grandfather as a liaison. Speaking of Harbuji," he began before going into a long story about his grandfather's will revision.

Ji Won tried to listen but all she could think of was that without getting an answer to the question, she was going to spend even more days worrying about something she didn't want to worry about.

***

“Have a nice day,” the hostess said as they walked towards the exit. Shin skipped ahead and opened the door for Ji Won.

“Thank you,” she said as she walked through.

Walking closely behind her, he tried to figure out the best time to take her hand. When she swung it behind her? Or should he just move next to her and grab it? He decided on the latter and just as he’d caught up to her and was about to reach for her hand, she folded her arms.

“So you’ve set a date for the meeting with your mother?”

He nodded while looking at her hand in disappointment. Why did she have to do that?

“When are you meeting?”

“We agreed on July 14th, didn’t we? I set it for 9:00pm,” he said in a monotone. He looked at her hand tucked away and wondered how ridiculous it would be to just grab it anyway.

“Isn’t that too late?” Ji Won noticed that he'd begun to act strangely again. And lately, he always acted strange when the subject of his mother was brought up. She wondered if she should just stop mentioning her.

He shrugged. “Is it? 9 o’clock is as good a time as any.” He was trying his best not to be obvious about studying her hands and calculating the best time to make his move. So he tried his best to face forward as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

“I guess so,” she said solemnly. She’d noticed how his eyes kept darting to and away from her and it was probably the first time she'd seen him being so weird. Her brows furrowed in pain– just how damaged had his mother's abandonment left him?

***

They both walked silently till they arrived at her car.

“Since I have most of July 14th free, do you want to attend your ex’s wedding?”

Ji Won spun her head around in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Let’s go to his wedding. What’s his name again? J—”

“Joon Young.”

“Let's go."

“Why? It’ll be weird.” Which jilted ex wanted to see their ex-fiance exchanging "I do's" with someone else?

“I’ll be with you so it won’t be weird.” He studied her face to gauge her reaction. Since he still didn't know what her feelings were, seeing her at the wedding might let him know if she was truly over her ex. And even if she wasn't, he wanted that jerk to see that she had moved on. He was still annoyed that after dumping her, he'd sent her an invitation to witness his wedding to another woman. Who did that?

“Whatever. I’ll just stay in.”

“Come on. I have time to kill so why don’t we go and make him jealous?”

She laughed. “He’s the one getting married. Why would he be jealous?”

Shin remained silent for a few moments before saying, “Do you still love him?”

She gave him an incredulous look. “Of course not.”

“So let’s go. It’ll be fun.”

“Aren’t you being a bit weird? Why are you insisting we go to his wedding? What are you thinking?”

“Nothing and stop thinking too much. If he sent you an invitation, it must be because he wants you there. And at least we can have somewhere to hang out before going to meet my mother. I just think it’ll be fun.”

***

“Hey Ji Won, long time,” a tall woman said as she ran to her and gave her a hug. “How have you been doing?”

Ji Won smiled when she saw the familiar face. Yoo Hee was one of the casualties of her break up with Joon Young. She hugged her back. “Where’s Jung Do?” They broke their embraced.

Yoo Hee made a face and hissed. “I guess we really haven’t been in touch for a while. We broke up. The divorce will soon be final.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You did it the right way. Get out before you say "I do" because it only ends in heartache."

"Which is the perfect thing to say at a wedding," Shin chimed in.

Yoo Hee turned to him and gave him a very appreciative look over. “Ji Won, who would this person be?" After Ji Won made the introductions, she said, “I see your taste has improved.”

Ji Won laughed. “Come on now, don’t be mean." She looked over at Joon Young who was sitting next to his new wife. Even though he’d gained a few pounds, he still looked pretty good.

“So, Beautiful Man," Yoo Hee said, crooking her finger at Shin, gesturing for him to move closer. “What do you do?”

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh, a writer. A work romance? How sexy." She licked her lips and smiled.

Ji Won laughed at the craziness she was witnessing from her old friend. “Are you a little drunk or something?”

“Am I drunk? Who knows? But this man,” she said, moving so close to Shin she could smell his breath, “is very hot.”

Shin instinctively moved back. “Are you okay?” He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Ji Won but she just kept laughing.

“But tell me Shin ssi, where can I find a man like you? Do you have a twin? Is your father single? Do you have a brother? Or a cousin? Some hot friends? A sexy writer’s club I can attend?”

***

Ji Won couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged so many people in one day. Since she’d been out of this social circle for a while, it felt like a reunion.

“Ji Won,” she heard someone yell from behind. “I can’t believe you came!”

She turned around to see her friend, Eun Jae, walking towards her with her hands outstretched.

Ji Won hugged her and said, “I was invited – why shouldn’t I come?”

After they separated, her friend gave her a knowing look. “You know why. So is he an even bigger di.ck than I thought? He sent you an invite?”

She shrugged. “I guess he did. No big deal. I’m glad I came cos I got to see so many people I haven’t seen in a while. Many of whom I’m glad to not have seen to be honest,” she said before they both laughed. “But it’s all good. I didn’t expect to see you here, though. You didn’t say anything about it when I saw you at the grocery store last week.”

“Yeah, like I was going to mention that your ex-fiancé was getting married. What do you take me for?” She hugged Ji Won again. “I’m so glad to see how well you’re taking it. You're really over it, aren't you? I'm so proud of you!"

Ji Won smiled and shrugged. "I feel nothing. I guess that means I don't care either way."

“Which is good since you’ve got some hot ass guy on your arm.” She winked at Ji Won then tilted her head towards Shin who was standing at the bar talking to Yoo Hee who was clearly flirting with him. “Spill! Who is he?”

“Just a friend.” Ji Won frowned at the scene she was watching in front of her. Yes, he was just a friend but Yoo Hee didn’t know that. She’d thought she was being funny when she flirted with him earlier but wasn’t she taking it a bit too far? So because she was getting divorced she wanted to steal someone else's man? She immediately remembered another reason she’d lost touch with her.

“Just a friend? Is that why you’re shooting daggers at Yoo Hee?” Eun Jae said laughing. “You might want to go and get your man if you don’t want her to steal him away.”

“Give me break. She can have him if she wants." She turned away and looked back at her friend. “Anyway, we didn’t finish our conversation the last time we spoke. You said you were going to give me all the gossip on your mother-in-law’s new boyfriend,” she said, trying to sound cheerful even though her mind was on what might be going on behind her. Who insisted someone be their date at a wedding then ditched them for a drunk flirt? Men really were stupid!

***

“You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?”

“Be my guest," Eun Jae said before winking at Ji Won.

Shin nodded his thanks before taking Ji Won's hand and leading her to the dance floor. As he stood at the bar listening to Ji Won’s friend drone about this new landscaper she’d discovered, all he could think was that he’d finally get his chance to hold her. When he found a spot he liked on the dance floor, he spun her around with a flair.

Ji Won frowned. “You don’t have to put on a show for everyone.”

“Who’s putting on a show?”

She looked away with disinterest written all over her face. “I’m cool. If you want to dance with someone else, be my guest.”

He furrowed his brows questioningly. “What are you talking about? I didn’t come to this wedding to be with someone else, did I?”

She shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe you wanted to meet some women.”

“Huh? Which women?” he chuckled to hide his confusion and pulled her closer to him. He smiled at the fact that there was no resistance. “You’re the only one I want to be with right now.” Just as their bodies touched and he was about to wrap his arms around her, the music changed to a fast song. He groaned. The stars really weren’t aligned, were they? He was about to grumble when he recognized the song. “Hold up!” he said as his lips turned into a wide smile. “Do you recognize this song?”

Ji Won shook her head. “Of course not," she lied. "I'm not an old fart like you." They’d begun to play old school jams and the song they were playing had been really popular in the previous decade.

“If you don’t remember this song, you at least remember this dance step,” he said before doing The Running Man.

Ji Won laughed as she felt her spirits lift. “Stop it! This is embarrassing!” She kept laughing but he really didn’t look bad at all. In fact, he looked unexpectedly hot. Who knew an ajusshi could look hot doing The Running Man?

“Do you want me to teach you?” He grabbed her hand and pulled her next to him.

She snatched her hand away. “Who told you I have to learn?” She was now laughing even more because he was making one of those faces that people put on when they were being very serious about their dancing. “Stop it!”

“If you don’t want to do The Running Man, how about The Shuffle?”

“Oh gosh, The Running Man. I haven’t done it in ages,” Ji Won heard someone say from behind her. When she turned around, she noticed that others had begun to join them in doing their old school steps. She looked back at Shin who was now dancing so seriously one would think he was auditioning for Dancing With The Stars. Seeing how everyone else seemed to be having fun, she decided to join in.

***

“Aren’t you happy you came?” Shin asked as they approached the car. He was feeling good because he was now sure that Ji Won was over her ex. When they walked over to congratulate the new couple, he hadn't noticed the slightest hint of jealousy or pain from her. Plus he’d finally managed to take her hand as they walked out of the wedding hall and hadn’t let go. He’d expected her to pull away or at least have some kind of reaction but to his surprise, he’d gotten none. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

“I had a good time,” she said tilting her head up to look at him. "But why did you suddenly turn into a dance instructor? It was so unlike you.”

“You seemed to be getting into some kind of mood so I thought it would be best to liven things up. Got a problem with that?”

She shook her head. He'd done that for her? She could feel herself blushing. She recognized the sudden warmth in her chest. She'd felt it with Joon Young, with her first love and even with fake drug addicted Pil Suh. It was something that she’d vowed never to feel again but here she was, once again, helpless to that feeling. And if felt okay. She looked at Shin and smiled. The sun was long gone so she hoped he couldn’t see the color in her cheeks.

When he smiled back at her, she knew the red color in her cheeks were deepening. Yup, she was in big trouble. Looking for something to say or do, she glanced her at watch. “It’s already 8:40. We should hurry up so we don’t keep your mom waiting.”

Shin winced then walked over to her side of the car and opened the door. He waited for her to get in then shut it. A few moments later, when he was in the driver’s seat, he said, “She’s not my mom.”

Ji Won was still smiling as she recalled the day’s events. “What?”

“The only mom I have is my grandmother.”

The expression on his face drained all the giddiness out of Ji Won. Having nothing else to say, she mouthed an O. They were back in the danger zone. Why did she have to open her big mouth?

He noticed the change in her expression and knew that he had to explain his feelings. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but he needed to make things clear. “Her name was Shin Ae. Did I ever tell you that?”

Ji Won looked straight ahead and shook her head.

“When she passed, I wanted to always have a part of her so I became Shin. Plus it didn’t help that my real name sucks,” he ended with a chuckle.

Still not looking at him, she said, “Okay.”

“So don’t call that woman my mom,” he pleaded. “I know it sounds silly because she is the woman who gave birth to me but using the word ‘mom’ for her just doesn’t seem right. When I call her "mom" I know what I mean but when others do, it's different.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one with the problem.” He tried to smile but his cheeks refused to comply. “Ready to go?” he asked, turning the engine on.

She nodded as she felt her nerves kicking in. This drama with his mother had revealed a side of him she’d never been privy to. And she no longer knew what to expect from him.

Chapter 26

2008-05-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

Chapter 26

“Pil Suh yah… you came? I was scared you weren’t coming,” the older lady said as she stood up to greet them.

Ji Won raised her brow after looking at her watch – it was only 9:12. Twelve minutes were enough to scare her off? Curious, Ji Won looked at her face then back at Shin’s, searching for a resemblance. But truthfully, she couldn’t find one. So this was the woman that had brought Shin into the world. She looked very put together in her designer suit – like a rich man’s kept wife. Her hair was in a side swept bun, her make-up natural and neat and her ears had little diamonds dangling from them.

Ji Won stretched her hand out and the woman took it and held it limply as she gave her a bright smile. At that moment she saw the resemblance. Then the lady turned to Shin who was pulling out Ji Won’s chair.

“I thought you weren't coming,” she said as she sat down. “I was feeling sorry for the restaurant for occupying this table for two hours so I ordered something. I hope you don’t mind.”

Two hours? Ji Won shook her head then looked at Shin from the corner of her eye. How mean of him.

Shin scoffed. “You hope I don’t mind? Since when have you cared about my feelings?” he said just loud enough for both women to hear.

Seeing the older lady’s eyes turn down in response compelled Ji Won to kick Shin under the table.

He sent her a deadly look then picked up the menu.

The three of them sat in uncomfortable silence for about a minute before Shin’s mom said, “You must be the young lady Ajusshi told me about.”

“Me?” she asked, pointing to herself. She waved in disagreement. “No, I don’t think so. Maybe someone else.”

“You’re not the editor who visited his grandfather?”

“Oh, yeah… that’s me.”

The woman smiled widely. “Then it’s you. You’re just as lovely as he described. I’m glad Suh has found someone like you.”

Ji Won cringed in embarrassment. What was this woman talking about? She looked to see what expression Shin had on his face and it was the same one he’d had since they’d walked into the restaurant – one of disdain.

“I can’t believe I’m sitting here with my son. He hasn’t changed much except that he’s grown even more handsome.”

“Harbouji talks to you?” Shin gruffly asked.

She nodded. “Sometimes.”

“Wow. So you see it fit to talk to him but you refuse to talk to your own son? Do you remember the last time you spoke to the biggest mistake in your life?”

The woman’s shoulders slump. “My biggest mistake? How can you think that?”

“What else do you want me to think? You’ve never wanted me around. You didn’t want me when I was born. You didn’t want me when Grandma died, you pretend not to know me when you see me in the street and now you’re only here because you want something. What other explanation is there for that?”

Shin’s mother put her hands on the table and leaned forward. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t take care of you when you were a child – I was just too young. I’m sorry. But now I want to make amends, that’s why I am here.”

Shin laughed in disbelief. “That’s a joke if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Suh yah, I know I’ve wronged you deeply. But I recently realized that I made a lot of mistakes with you and if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll like to correct them. I’m so sorry for what I did but I think we still have time to make amends. I would like us to have some kind of relationship if you’re willing. Please. Life is too short and I would like to have you in my life again.”

“So you honestly want me to believe that you hounded Harabouji to let us meet just because you wanted to start a relationship with me? It’s not really because you want my organs? Not because you’re broke? Not because you need a favor? But because you suddenly found your motherly instincts?”

Shin’s voice had begun to get loud and the other patrons at the restaurant had begun to stare at their table. The waitress walked over to the table to take their orders. As she did, Ji Won reached under the table to find Shin’s hand and held it. He glanced over at her and even though she gave him a comforting smile, he didn’t react.

After the waitress left, and in a small voice, Shin’s mother said, “Suh yah, I deserve everything you said. I was the worst kind of mother a child could ever have. I didn’t give you any love or respect but please understand that even though I never showed it, I always loved you. I know it’s hard to believe but you’re my first child and always had a special place in my heart. I’m sorry I made you suffer so much. I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking.

Shin looked away to hide the tears that had begun to threaten their departure. How odd was it to finally hear the words he’d always pretended not to want but had secretly hoped to hear all his life? And who would have thought that he’d hear them one Saturday evening at a family restaurant? But somehow, it didn’t feel real.

When he regained his composure, he said, “This is a lot to take in. Why the sudden change of heart? Did someone close to you just die? Is that what spurred this? When Grandma died, it had no effect on you. I didn’t make you want to love me. Instead you pushed me on a man who could have turned me into his slave while raping me every night. Did you even think about that? No. All you cared about what throwing me away. And now you want me to believe this bulls.hit?”

Ji Won gripped his hand tighter.

He lowered his tone and through gritted teeth said, “Everyone but you cared about me. That poor man loved me more than you ever did and I am not even his blood. Grandma, Grandpa, teachers, strangers on the street, everyone treated me better than you ever did. And now you want me to believe that over thirty years later you want a relationship with me? Do you think I am an idiot? Just tell me what the real reason is so I can leave this God forsaken place!”

The woman bent her head and Ji Won watched as tears fell on the tablecloth. “Excuse me. I need to go the bathroom,” she said before getting up and walking away as fast as she could.

“Shin ssi.”

“Don’t dare tell me I am being too hard on her. You're the one who told me to say how I felt.”

“Okay.”

“That woman is here for some other reason. You read my book, right? You know exactly who she is. She said it herself – my looks haven’t changed. My own mother pretended not to know me and now she wants me to believe some crap about wanting to make amends? She wants to build a relationship? With me? Is she crazy? She must want money. If she does, let her say it now and not waste my time any longer.”

The waitress brought over their food and after eating in uncomfortable silence for over ten minutes, Ji Won decided to go to the bathroom and check on his mother. She walked in and saw her leaning against the wall looking at her phone messages.

“Ajumma,” Ji Won called to catch her attention.

She looked up then quickly snapped her phone shut. Then she grabbed some tissues and dabbed her already dry eyes. “I’m sorry, have I been here long?”

Ji Won shook her head. “I just wanted to check up on you.”

She gave her a side smile. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

“What did you expect? You abandoned him. Did you think he’d just welcome you with open arms?”

“It was so long ago – I was just a kid then. I wish he could understand that.”

But what about twenty years ago? Or ten years ago? Or even last year? Were you still a kid? Ji Won wanted to ask. But she knew it wasn’t her place.

“Are you ready to go back?”

***

When they returned to the table, Shin was in surprisingly better behavior and asked how she was doing. Happy about that, his mother spoke of her family then handed them a photo.

“These are my children.”

Shin winced at the stabbing pain that shot through his heart. He would never have a picture like that - one of him hugging his mother.

“They are beautiful boys.”

“Thank you. I think the oldest one, Hyun Woo kinda of resembles Suh, don’t you think so?”

“Really?” She looked at the picture, at Shin then back at the photo. “Oh, I see it. They have the same nose and mouth,” she lied.

“You think so? I’m glad. His favorite subject is math but he loves to write just like his older brother,” she began as she filled them in about her son's life.

Even though his mother was speaking very clearly, Shin couldn’t hear anything. His mind was just fixated on the photo in his hand. Looking at those three smiling faces was like facing the childhood he’d been denied.

“… but Hyun Woo had to be taken out of school this year,” his mother said in a choked up voice.

“Why?” Ji Won asked.

“He’s got leukemia.”

On hearing that word, Shin snapped back into reality. He shook his head in disgust. “And now the truth comes out.” Then he let out a very scary laugh –if anything, it sounded more like a war cry. “Your precious son has leukemia and now you want to know if I’m a match.”

His mom bit her lip and looked away.

“Answer me, Mother. Is that why you’re here?”

“No, I’m just telling you about—”

“Is this why you had that epiphany? Why you decided to reach out to the one person you tried to forget your whole life? Because your son is sick?”

“No.”

“What do you want? You want me to replace your dying son or save him? Which is it?”

The woman shook her head then suddenly burst into tears. “That’s not it.”

But Shin was unmoved by her antics. “You want to get to know me better when your beloved son is sick. This is just a coincidence?”

The crying woman nodded.

“Really? If we embark on our new beautiful relationship, do you promise to never ask me to get tested to see if I’m a match?”

The woman looked up at Shin and cried even harder.

“Answer me. Can you promise to never involve me in this problem with your son?”

Instead of responding, she just kept crying.

“If I say I won’t get tested, will you still want to have a relationship with me? Answer me! Answer me!"

“You should meet him once,” she said between sobs. “He’s such a sweet child. He’s only 18 but he’s so mature. My child can’t die. He’s too young. Please. Please. I can’t just let him die. He’s too young.”

“Just as I thought. Ji Won, can you see? I knew she wanted something.” He got up. “You can go back to wherever you came from knowing that you can’t fool me. Look, I don’t care if your son dies or not. So I’m not going to any stinking hospital to take any stinking test, do you understand me? If this was what you wanted, you shouldn’t have bothered contacting me because I don’t give a fu.ck about you or your family. This is beyond ridiculous! Even if I’m his match, I will never donate any fu.cking anything to help him get better. Do you understand me? Think of it as karma for what you did to me.” Then he reached for his glass and knocked its contents over. “And I’m not paying for this meal, either,” he said before storming out.

***

Ji Won watched him leave with her mouth ajar, although objectively, she knew that she shouldn’t be quite so surprised. She'd felt her heart break as she'd witnessed the scene, imagining the kind of pain he must have been going through. But the words he said, that look in his eyes – like he was no longer behind them – shocked her. Who was that man?

“I’m sorry,” she said to the crying woman. What she’d done was despicable but it was clear that she loved her sick son and love could make one do terrible things. But on the other hand, how painful must it be for Shin to know that she only wanted to use him to benefit her son?

She reached into her purse and pulled out a few bills. “This should cover dinner. Good night,” she said.

But as she stood up to leave, the lady grabbed her by her arm. “Please beg him for me. Please. You’re a woman too. Even if you don’t have children you must understand how this must feel for me. Please. Convince him to help our Hyun Woo. He’s too young,” she yelled as tears gushed out of her eyes. “We’ll compensate him for any inconvenience. We just need to save our son.”

Ji Won pried her fingers off her. “Compensate him for any inconvenience? Ajumma, are you really this heartless? Do you think that's the problem? Do you think you can compensate him for all the pain you’ve brought him? I’m sorry your son is sick but leave Shin out of this!”

A few minutes later, just as she stepped out of the restaurant, she saw Shin’s car pull out of its parking spot and move towards the exit.

“SHIN! SHIN! Yoon Pil Suh!” she screamed as she chased after it. The car didn’t go very far before it stopped so Ji Won was able to catch up with it in a short amount of time.

“Were you going to leave me?” she said through short breaths the second she got into the car.

“I thought you wanted to stay back and chat.”

“Stay back and chat? What does that even mean?”

“You seemed to like her. You enjoyed chatting in the bathroom, didn’t you? You enjoyed talking about her kids. Are you friends now?”

Ji Won rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. She knew he was going through a tough time and was clearly not in his right sense so she let him vent without interruption.

However, since Ji Won was staying silent, Shin saw no reason to stop. “How cute were you today? Looking at photos and saying, “Oh, they look so much alike,” he said, mimicking her voice. “Why were you being such an as.s kisser? I look nothing like that person! Did you want her to like you or something? Or maybe you wanted to make her one of your drinking buddies. You saw how well she could drink, didn’t you? Already have some drinking games planned?”

Okay, now he was just being ridiculous. “Don’t take this out on me.”

“Why would I take it out on you? It’s only your fault.”

“How is it my fault?”

“I told you I didn’t want to meet her but you insisted that I should. I told you that I knew that heartless bi.tch wanted something from me. But you wouldn’t listen, talking about how I’d get the chance to talk to her. Now you see what has happened?”

Ji Won kept her mouth shut as she looked out of the window.

“Answer me. Was I right? Don’t you think I would have been better off now showing up and wasting my damn time on that opportunistic bi.tch?”

“You were right, okay! You were right. But don’t take your anger out on me. If you want to do that, just pull over so I can get out of this car.”

***

“Thanks for the ride,” Ji Won said shortly after Shin pulled up to her apartment complex. The ride home had been less than pleasant to say the least. Once Shin got tired of talking, they’d sat in the car in silence. Nobody had even bothered to turn on the radio. The entire evening had become very uncomfortable and unpleasant that she’d never been so glad to see the welcome sign for her building before.

“I’m sorry,” Shin offered as he opened his car door.

“You don’t have to get out. Just go home and rest.”

“No. No. I’ll walk you to the entrance.”

Ji Won quietly led the short walk to the building entrance, wondering why he was even bothering to do this song and dance since he was supposedly so mad at her. She tapped her keycard on the sensor and when she heard the door unlock, pulled it open. She turned around to say goodbye in a curt voice but the look on his face made her feel otherwise. Boy did he look miserable. Hoping it was the right thing to do, she said, “Would you like to come up?

***

What did one offer a man who’d received confirmation that his mother didn’t love him?

“What would you like to drink? I have juice, soda and some w-water. I was about to say wine but I didn’t want you to think that I was seducing you.”

Shin frowned. “You haven’t forgotten that, huh?” he asked warily. He knew he should go home but he didn’t want to spend time in his empty apartment just recounting the day’s events. He knew his mother hated him but up till a few minutes earlier, he’d never realized just how much. Even though he’d insisted that she’d only contacted him because she wanted something, he’d hoped deep inside that she’d prove him wrong. But apparently, he was the type to never get what he really wanted.

“It was supposed to be a joke. I have wine if you want.”

***

The hour and half Shin stayed over was the most uncomfortable Ji Won had ever spent in her apartment even though all they did was drink wine, eat some snacks and watch television.

“It’s 11:33,” Ji Won announced.

Shin smiled at her then looked at his wrist. “Yes, it is. Although my watch says 11:37. I wonder which one is correct,” he said with a very fake smile.

“Let’s split the difference and say it’s 11:35,” she replied with an equally as fake smile.

“11:35 sounds good.”

They both let out phony laughs as they walked towards the door. When they reached it, Shin turned around.

“Good night.”

“Good night,” Ji Won replied. She was going to give him about a day to himself before she called to check up on him. This was one of those times she wished she’d studied psychology so that she’d know the right thing to say to him.

“I’ll see you later, then.

“Okay, take care.”

They both avoided the other’s eyes as they stood in silence.

“Bye, then,” Ji Won said.

“Bye.” Shin started to turn around but then slowly turned right back and pecked her on the lips.

Ji Won gave him a questioning look. Okay, that was unexpected.

Since that wasn’t an outright rejection, Shin decided to try his luck again. He didn’t know what he was doing or why he was even doing it but when he kissed her again he made sure it was soft and long. It felt good – the best he’d felt in the last few hours. He looked at her eyes to see that they were shut. Then he cupped her face and really kissed her.

Even though she was shocked and confused by the turn of events, Ji Won instinctively responded to his kiss. As his kiss got more intense, she parted her lips, letting his tongue explore her mouth. Although it wasn’t the first time they’d kissed, this one felt especially good. She didn’t know if it was because she’d been so tense and this was a welcome feeling or because it had been a long time since she’s kissed a man. She put her arms around his waist and pressed her body closer to his and was enjoying the sensation till she felt her body being grabbed and pushed against the wall.

Her eyes opened in alarm as his kisses got more intense till they were borderline animalistic. Suddenly the sensation stopped feeling good and all she could hear were alarm bells ringing in her head.

“What—” was all she could manage against his lips. She tried to push him off her gently but he wouldn’t budge. She gathered more force and pushed him again, this time succeeding.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He looked at her but Ji Won couldn’t see him – there was someone else behind those eyes. But as quickly as they parted, he was back on her, this time kissing her neck fiercely.

Using all her might this time, she managed to pry him off her. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled. She reached to the side of her and turned the doorknob. “You need to leave now,” she said with her chest heaving out of control.

Shin leaned over to kiss her again but she turned her face away. “Please leave.” What in the world did he think he was doing? She knew he was frustrated but she wasn’t about to let him use her this way.

With his lips close to her ear, he whispered, “Please let me stay.”

She sighed and looked into his eyes. He was back and clearly in pain. “I’m sorry,” she said in a softened tone.

“I need you. I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he said in a cracking voice.

Ji Won pressed her lips together and looked at him. He looked rather pitiful, didn’t he? His eyes were downturned and he’d somehow transformed from that animalistic person to a miserable creature.

As Ji Won searched for the right things to say, Shin just stood there with his eyes to the ground. The day had started off great and he just wanted to forget everything that had just happened. He leaned forward to kiss her again but she turned her face yet again.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated softly. “But I can’t let you stay tonight. It won’t be right.”

Right? What the hell was right? Hearing that word hit him hard. He looked at her face, narrowed his eyes and stepped back. “It won’t be right?”

Glad for the increased space between them, Ji Won heaved a sigh of relief. “Not like this. Not this way. It’s not right.”

He nodded. “I see. When you went over to Aruba and found an unsuspecting stranger and john teshed him to get over your ex, was that right? Played with his emotions, seduced him and left him without a word, was that right?”

“So you want me to pay you back for that?”

“No. But I find it hilarious that you’re here acting like some authority on what’s right or wrong when you’ve done exactly the same thing. I wonder what is right in this world. A girlfriend who leaves you for a richer man, a woman who only remembers her son when she needs him for his DNA or a jilted woman who takes advantage of an unsuspecting stranger. Which of them are right?” He paused for a few moments then in a much quieter tone, said, “Or the fact that the people I care about always abandon me when I need them most. I wonder how right that is.” With that, he turned around and walked out of her apartment.

Before Ji Won could even begin to digest what had just occurred, her phone rang. She ran back into the living room to get it but she couldn’t recognize the number on the caller id. She answered it cautiously. “Hello?”

“Ji Won ah. I knew you’d be awake.”

“Who is this?”

The person at the other end chuckled. “You don’t recognize my voice anymore? It’s Joon Young.”

Chapter 27

2008-05-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

Joon Young? Ji Won crooked her head and look at the phone again. What the hell did he want? Especially on his wedding night of all times? “Which Joon Young is this?”

He laughed. “What do you mean which Joon Young is this? Which other Joon Young do you know?”

She snickered. “Well, the Joon Young I know got married a few hours ago so it makes no sense that he’d be calling me instead of enjoying the night with his new wife.”

He laughed some more. “I would be if my wife wasn’t lying on the bed, drunk and snoring really loudly.”

“Wow. The prospect of spending the night with you drove her to the bottle, huh?”

He chuckled then said, “Did you get quicker with the zingers or have I forgotten?”

Ji Won picked up the television remote control then laid on her couch. “What do you want?” she asked as she flicked through channels. She put the phone on speak and placed in on her chest.

After a silent moment, he cleared his throat. “I just wanted to apologize to you.”

“For…?”

“For sending the invitation to you. If I had any control over it, you wouldn’t have gotten one.”

“Oh, you wanted to hide your wedding from me?”

He groaned. “That’s not what I meant. But it was wrong of me to send it to you… seeing how things ended. My wife sent it to you without my knowledge. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Ji Won said right before she turned off the television. There was nothing to watch and even if there wasn't she wasn't in the mood to watch it. It was time for bed. She picked up her phone and put it off speaker. “If that’s all you have to say…” she said after she'd placed it against her ear and had begun to walk around, switching off the lights in the living room.

“It was nice seeing you. How have you been doing?”

She walked over to the kitchen and turn off that light too. “Are you pretending to care?”

‘You can’t still be mad.”

she stopped moving and leaned against a wall. “What’s there to be mad at? That I now know that you didn’t really have a problem with marriage – that you just had a problem with marrying me? Or what else? That you have the guts to call me on your wedding night telling me some bulls.hit?"

“What would you like me to say? Tell me and I’ll say it. You looked happy at the wedding so I thought that perhaps it was okay for me to contact you. Did I make a mistake?”

“To be honest, I’m not mad at you." She got off the wall and walked into her bedroom. "I’m already over us and know that we weren’t meant to be. I guess I just feel like lashing at someone – it’s not about you. I’m sorry.” She got on her bed and jumped on it.

“Want to talk about it?

“Not really," she said, noting the time on her clock. She just wanted to take a quick shower and fall asleep. "So you only called to apologize?”

“Yeah. I'd prayed that the invitation got lost in the mail so that I could pretend that you never received it but then you just had to show up and shatter that dream,” he said with a chuckle.

“You were hoping I wouldn’t come?”

“Maybe hope wasn’t the word. But I just didn’t think you’d show up. For me, the most probable scenario involved you tearing up the invitation card and cursing me a thousand times. But I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, maybe despite our relationship, we never knew each other as well as we thought. Maybe I don’t know anybody at all. Maybe what I thought was love really wasn’t. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Which is why you couldn’t marry me after like five years together but you married someone you’ve known for less than half the time.”

“I did love you. And I regretted it for a long time. I still regret it. I did initially get involved with her to spite you – I can admit that. But something happened along the way. And I was scared sh.itless yesterday -moreso than with you. But I can’t always let my fears keep me from doing the right thing, can I?”

“I guess you can’t.”

“But when I saw you today, I was glad to see you happy… to see that you’ve moved on too. It made me realize that I’d made a mistake that had changed both our lives forever but we both figured out a way to adjust to that change. It also made me understand that sometimes, we can't help but hurt the people we love because no one is perfect. And sometimes, we ask for forgiveness and are granted it. But if we aren’t, we must live the best we can with the consequences. One moment of weakness or stupidity can change our lives forever.”

***

Shin didn’t even know how he got home. For damn sure, he hadn’t been paying attention to the road or traffic lights. As he walked into his building, all he could think was that what hurt him most wasn’t even that his mother didn’t love him, but how hurt he felt by the rejection. He didn’t want that woman to have this much effect on him and he just wished he could figure out a way to kill his feelings.

He hit the elevator button then leaned against the wall. The entire day had been draining and all he wanted to do was go to bed. Or more importantly, sleep and hopefully, when he woke up the next day, he’d realize that it had all been a bad dream.

About a minute later, he was walking towards his apartment, with his eyes almost shut as he rubbed his temple, wondering if he was developing a headache when he heard someone say, “Oppa.” That stopped his feet from moving.

He opened his eyes to see a small female figure sitting in front of his apartment door with her legs akimbo.

“Oppa, is that really you? You’re finally here?” she asked as she stood up. She brushed off some dirt from the seat of her pants then smiled at him. “I’d begun to give up hope of seeing you.”

His mouth flung open and he didn’t bother to hide his shock. Was he seeing things? What in the world was Min Su doing at his place? At this time of the day, no less? He looked at his watch. “It’s already past midnight. Why are you here?” And another blast from the past was the last thing he needed.

Instead of replying, she just smiled sheepishly. He gave her a full once over. Her body was clad in dark blue skinny jeans, and a tube top covered with a tailored jacket. She had on what looked like five inch heels and with her hair loosely framing her face, Shin could see that she hadn’t lost even iota of her looks.

He looked beautiful and he didn’t like that he noticed it. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the door and pulled out his keys.

“Oppa,” she said, lightly touching his hand.

Her hand was surprisingly cool but also unwelcome. She’d stopped being a part of his consciousness for a long time and that moment wasn’t the time to change that. He shook her hand off him.

“What do you want?” he asked, turning his gaze to her.

“Jeez,” she said, making a face. “Why do you look like this? You must have had a horrible day. What happened?”

He turned his face away from her and shook his head. It surprised him that even with all the years that they’d been apart, she could still read him so easily.

“Just tell me why you’re here so that you can leave.”

“May I come in for a bit? I need to talk to you.”

“About what? We haven’t talked in ages. What could you possibly have to discuss with me?”

“Please,” she said, giving him those puppy dogs eyes that had never failed to win him over. But Shin wasn’t going to let them win this time around.

“I’m going the sleep the second I walk into my apartment so if you have something to say, just say it now.”

“Oppa, I can’t talk about this in the hallway. I’ve been waiting here for over three hours. Just let me come in for a bit.”

Fatigued and irritated by the argument that was leading nowhere, he opened the door and walked into his place. Min Su followed him and shut the door behind her.

“What happened to you? Where did you go? Did you have a fight with your girlfriend? I thought you didn’t have one.”

Shin, who was now in front of his fridge, grabbing a beer turned to her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Min Su sat on the loveseat as she looked around his apartment. “Remember that girl you were with at the Schmidt exhibit? I saw her the other day and she gave off the impression that you’d broken up.”

Shin nearly choked on his beer. “What?”

“Or am I wrong? You guys are still together?”

“She wasn’t my girlfriend – she was my editor.”

“That was really all it was?” she asked, disbelieving, because that was not the vibe she’d gotten on that day. “But if that’s all it was, I feel better now.”

Shin gulped down the rest of his beer then opened up another can and swallowed another gulp. There was a time, years ago, that he’d prayed every night to see her sitting in the middle of his sitting room, begging to talk to him. But those days were long gone and he was already sick of playing the Reminisce Game. “We are in my apartment now. Just say what you want to say and leave.”

“Oppa…” she began, getting off the couch and walking towards him. She tried her best to calm her nerves as she got closer. It had taken her some time to muster up the courage to do this but once she decided to, she knew she had to see it through – even if it was three hours later than she’d planned. She cleared her throat and said, “Your place looks nice and it looks like your taste has definitely improved.”

He looked at her pointedly. “Yes, it has.”

She ignored the obvious jab and grabbed a stool and sat with the kitchen table between them. She reached for his hand but he quickly took it away.

“What’s this?”

She took another deep breath then grabbed his hand again. “Oppa, I’m sorry.”

He took his hand back again. “For what?”

“For what I did back then.” She looked into his eyes. “Ever since I saw you at the Schmidt exhibit, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I was a fool. I’m sorry I was too stupid to realize that you really are the one for me.” She’d loved him but back then, couldn’t see the point in staying with a smart man who in her opinion was wasting his potential writing books that weren’t earning him enough for them to live on. “I’m sorry I broke your heart. And I know I don’t have the right to be here saying this to you but I just felt that I should at least take a chance. If not for me, then for us.”

Stunned, he started at her for a few silent moments then burst into laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” What a day.

“Oppa,” she said, grabbing his hand again then kissing his palm.

He was in too much shock to react.

“Remember that summer we spent backpacking across Europe, spending our days as tourists and our nights in bed? Wasn’t it in Berlin we discovered Schmidt? Remember how you said that his Happiness painting was the snapshot of our future? When I saw you at his exhibition that day, I knew you hadn’t forgotten me.” She kissed his palm again and still holding his hand, got off the stool and moved closer to him.

Shin’s eyes were trained on her, following her every movement. Yes, he had said that. And yes, he remembered that day. But his heart wasn’t thumping at the memories. Instead, his brain was just getting muddled by everything that had happened and was happening. He drank the last of his beer then reached for another can but was stopped by Min Su’s hand.

“Oppa, I know you only drink this much when you’re upset. I’m here now so you don’t have to do that anymore.” She unraveled his fingers off the can then traced the length of his arm with her palm. From his eyes, she could see his resolve weakening and that spurred her to continue.

As she caressed his neck then his face, all Shin could think was how soft and smooth her fingers felt and how the sensation was a welcome change from all the madness that was occurring in his thoughts.

She smiled when she noticed that he’d begun to breathe heavier. “See? You still react to me. It’s been years but it’s not over between us.” She leaned over, expecting him to push her off him or turn his face away but when he didn’t, she slowly shut her eyes and kissed him.

He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised because anyone could have seen that coming from two towns away but the force of her lips crashing against his still managed to cause his body to stiffen. He wanted to resist but a part of him told him this was exactly what he needed.

Not discouraged by this lack of reaction, Min Su, kissed him even harder, with her tongue teasing his lips, urging them to part. And when they eventually did, she stuck her tongue in his mouth and touched his and when they began to kiss, she sat on his lap, causing the stool to tilt backwards.

They both held onto the table to steady themselves and Min Su quickly got off his lap and laughed nervously. Shin looked up at her and laughed as well but just as quickly as they were parted, they rejoined, this time both standing as they kissed each other desperately.

Min Su had been a little worried that their chemistry would be gone so she was pleasantly surprised to find it still there and that only excited her more.

It had been years and she felt the same. As she tightened her grip around his neck, their shared memories started flooding back to Shin. From the first day that they met to the first time they kissed.

“Ouch,” Min Su cried when her butt hit the table. Shin looked up from her face – he hadn’t even realized that he’d pushed her against it.

The hand on her body instinctively changed from lustful to concerned as he moved his head back and peered into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes.” She reached behind and sat on the table. “This is better,” she said, wrapping her legs around his thighs before reaching for the top button of his shirt.

Shin looked down at her as she unbuttoned his shirt. She was just as beautiful as always was and there was something soothing about someone who looked like her wanting him. In fact, at the moment, it just felt so good to be wanted.

He shocked her when he scooped her up and carried her. She giggled and when she was sure that their grip on each other was secure, their kissing continued from where they had left off.

As he carried her towards his bedroom, countless memories ran through his mind.

He thought about the ring he’d bought her – the exact one she’d pointed to in a magazine. He’d spent days trying to find a store that carried it. As she whispered his name when he kissed her neck, he remembered the day he’d arrived home only to find her things gone and a note with a single line saying she was sorry. Yes, it felt good to be wanted for once.

She giggled when he kicked open his door then ran her fingers through his hair, and smiled at his face, making sure that her desire for him was clear.

She bounced a little when he threw her on the bed. And as she took off her jacket, he remembered his agent yelling at him to snap out of his depression because mourning a lost love wouldn’t help him make his deadline.

As he took off his belt and pulled down his pants, watching as she unbuttoned her jeans, he remembered the hundreds of drunken calls he’d left on her answering machine begging her return to him. He remembered that he’d promised to become the man she wanted as long as she returned to his side.

As she knelt up straight on the bed and reached for him, he remembered the news article he’d read, announcing her marriage to a successful financier. He remembered how happy she’d looked in the photo, smiling at her fiancé like she’d once smiled at him.

Then as his body fell on the bed, he remembered how he cried when his mother left him alone in Mr. Yoo’s apartment. The light from the living room kept his bedroom from being pitch black but as he reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, he thought of how cold and dark that room had been and how he’d spent those lonely hours wondering if his half siblings had ever experienced such coldness and darkness.
.
She climbed on him then unhooked her bra. And as it fell, he saw that the years had been good to her. She bent over and created a trail of kisses from his chest to his pelvic region. Then she pulled out a condom and smiled at him.

As she tore open the wrapper, he remembered that evening in Aruba when Ji Won was in that exact position doing the exact same thing. Except, instead of the desire he saw in Min Su’s eye, all she had were tears. Then he saw how she’d looked at him a few hours ago, both with care and confusion and he’d forced his kisses on her. Then he remembered the sad expression she’d had when she’d watched him leave.

Shin looked up at Min Su who was now waving the unwrapped condom seductively at him. “This has got to stop,” he said right before he pushed her off him and swung his legs over till he was sitting at the edge of the bed. “I think you’d better leave.”

***

She didn’t know what she shared with Shin but she knew she shared something. She didn’t know if it was worth fighting for but it was clear that no matter how many times he said or did things to annoy her, no matter how many times she decided to forget him, he somehow found a way of getting back into her life.

Even though she really could have done without the call from Joon Young, there were some things he said that rang true. Even though she was over that relationship, she wondered if a part of her still mourned the life that she’d planned with him. Maybe it was time to stop thinking of herself as a jilted woman but simply as a woman. Time to stop seeking out similarities between situations, fighting to not make the same mistakes.

Maybe it was time to really accept that she had a different life and in some way, Shin had become a part of it. Even though she hadn’t labeled their relationship, he had become a constant in her life. She liked his kisses and enjoyed his company and she couldn’t quite work out exactly what that meant to her but she knew that she’d begun to care for him. And caring for him meant that she understood that he was in agony about his mother so she wasn’t going to take anything he’d said or done against her personally. Yes, he had been wrong – but no one was perfect.

She’d spent the entire night agonizing over the evening’s events. Wondering if there was something she could have done differently that would have led to a much better outcome. She wondered if there were words she could have uttered to comfort him so that he wouldn’t have acted the way he did. She wondered if there was a way she could have reacted to his pain to keep him from thinking that she was abandoning him.

He’d said that she was important to him and maybe despite all that had happened in the previous months, she’d never quite believed it till she saw the look of pain in his eyes when he said it.

So once she deemed that it was not too early to show up unannounced, she jumped into her car and drove over to his place.

***

“In which direction will you be jogging?”

“That way,” Shin said, pointing to his right. The previous night, after some more futile attempts, Min Su finally accepted that they wouldn’t be sleeping together. But since Shin was too drunk and tired to drive and felt that it was too late for Min Su to drive herself home, she’d slept on the bed while he’d slept on the couch.

“I understand that yesterday was a shock, but please think about what I said.”

He rolled his eyes. “Go back to your husband.”

“Shinie—”

“Min Su—”

“I’ll walk you to your car. Where did you park it?”

She stepped in front of him and led him to the red Mercedes Benz that unbeknownst to them, was parked a few cars away from Ji Won’s.

“I left my number on your fridge. Call me if you change your mind or if you just need someone to talk to.”

“I won’t be calling you. Have a nice life, Min Su.”

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “See you.”

***

Ji Won had been pleasantly surprised when as she parked her car, she saw Shin walk out of his building. But that excitement quickly turned to horror when she saw that woman walk out seconds later.

She barely blinked as she watched them walk over to that lady’s car and after she kissed him on the cheek, she watched Shin jog for a block before turning around and going back to his apartment.

She didn’t know how long she’d sat in her car, barely breathing or blinking but her mind had gone blank and she probably would have sat there for eternity, staring at his apartment building entrance if she hadn’t felt a tear drop on her hand.